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Ahoy, mateys! Happy Talk Like a Pirate day!

Dianthus said:
This be serving you notice to dust off your pirate avatars and prepare to hoist your Jolly Roger.

TOMORROW is International Talk Like A Pirate Day! :nana:
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Ahoy, ye lusty wench. Thanks to ya for givin' all the wenches and salty tars a fair warning. ;)
 
I am going to a party for pirates at our local bar and dressing like a lusty pirate wench for the occasion.

I must prepare for my pirate talk by watching Johnny Depp for the next several hours while I get ready. That should be stimulating.

Have fun, everyone!
 
AllardChardon said:
I am going to a party for pirates at our local bar and dressing like a lusty pirate wench for the occasion.

I must prepare for my pirate talk by watching Johnny Depp for the next several hours while I get ready. That should be stimulating.

Have fun, everyone!
Click to expand...

Avast there, me bonny wench; be sure yer "arrrghhs" all drips with a lust fer booty!
 
Red Baldwin The Terrible
(formerly known as Handley_Page)

No buccaneer who ever sailed the Seven Seas is meaner than you. Why, you once shot a man just for snoring. But still, you're Hell On Wheels, except ships have no wheels so you're, like, Hell On Sails. Or something.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ7SVMVrick
 
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Avast ye scurvy dawgs.... AAARRRRRR!!! This be the dread pirate Longjohns John's Willie known on the seven seas as the fierce Capt'n Blueballs. Me crew and I have been at sea far too long. I be on the prowl for some serious booty; and I don't mean the doubloon kind!
 
Hahaha! Arrrgh, I can see Ms. D will have her hands full this year!
 
Aaargh, me shipmates!

The pirate ship Lit be settin' sail for the seven seas. Man* the riggin' an' haul on the yardarms.

= = = = = = =

* Well, I'd really prefer the rigging to be womaned, especially if it affords me a view up the aforementioned women's skirts as they scale the ratlines! :D
 
EesomeBeastie said:
Aaargh, me shipmates!

The pirate ship Lit be settin' sail for the seven seas. Man* the riggin' an' haul on the yardarms.

= = = = = = =

* Well, I'd really prefer the rigging to be womaned, especially if it affords me a view up the aforementioned women's skirts as they scale the ratlines! :D
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Mark ye for a scurvy scallawag, Cap'n Beastie! :kiss::cattail:
 
EesomeBeastie said:
Come inta me cabin an' I'll teach ye the principles o' nautical navigation, bent o'er me map table, Midshipman Di!
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Ha! Yer addressing One-Eyed Tracy, the most fearsome piratess yer ever wont to meet and Cap'n of my own ship, The Wandering Eye!
 
EesomeBeastie said:
A cap'n too, ye say? So what happened to the other eye? Yer parrot peck it out?
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No, ye scurvy bilge rat! The two eyes still be there....they call me One-Eyed Tracy as how I can shoot the eye out of a bird on the wing. I'm a deadly mark with me pistols!
 
Dianthus said:
No, ye scurvy bilge rat! The two eyes still be there....they call me One-Eyed Tracy as how I can shoot the eye out of a bird on the wing. I'm a deadly mark with me pistols!
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Any scurvy landlubber can shoot wi' pistols. Now I can pin a bird tae the deck wi' me boardin' pike wi' a single thrust. Now that's a skill for a jolly rogering pirate. :D
 
Ambling down to the galley to see what Cookie has for grub this fine morning...see you all later. :rose:
 
Dianthus said:
Ambling down to the galley to see what Cookie has for grub this fine morning...see you all later. :rose:
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refresh thyself well lass! You have a busy day ahead! ;) Them boots be the proper attire to board me ship!
 
PassionatePatty said:
I think I spy some lusty wenches in the galley with Cookie. Interesting dining fare they be... ;)
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Cap'n Beastie would rather have some o' Patty's Prize Buccaneer Lasagna. Though if she bends over the over dressed like that, it would burn before he finishes plunderin' and pillagin' her!
 
EesomeBeastie said:
Cap'n Beastie would rather have some o' Patty's Prize Buccaneer Lasagna. Though if she bends over the over dressed like that, it would burn before he finishes plunderin' and pillagin' her!
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Aye, Cap'n, me thinks ye need to be swimmin' cross the pond for some of me Lasagna... and to take advantage of me in me current pose! ;)
 
Na' then me hearties.
Who's for a trip west from this orb'd & sceptr'd isle to the land o' the free? If'n we get a good enough crew we can be at Di or Pattie afore they've finished munchin'.
Or Arr, me dears, twill do for some good sport, methinks.
 
Good morrow, shipmates! I tied for first prize in the lusty wench category and all went well until some scurvy dog stole my camera! AAARRRGGG!
 
Pirates?

Here is an extract about Pirates from my entry for The Worst Chain Story Ever (Link to full story in my signature):

"I need to get something from my special walk-in wardrobe. While I do can you tell me about English Pirates?"

"Yes, Magdalena."

(Note to reader: I had to get this and the next story in somehow so I have used a cunning plan to get John the Dong to tell them while his wife is in her special walk-in wardrobe. They have nothing to do with the story but I'm the author so I can do what I like. So there! Sticks out tongue at reader. If you don't like it you should have been deterred by the title of this story.)

"When John the Dong was young, tales about Pirates on the Spanish Main (which was no more Spanish than my arse (or ass if you are American)) were like the morality tales of the Wild (American) West.

There were GOOD pirates (Hurrah! Wave Jolly Roger) who fought the Spanish enemy (Boo!) and BAD pirates (Boo!) who robbed, raped (but this word was NEVER explained) and pillaged until they met the GOOD pirates (Hurrah! Wave Jolly Roger) or the BRITISH NAVY (Three Cheers! and wave Union Jack) and were sunk (with all hands) to the watery grave they deserved.

BAD pirates (Boo!) could sometimes become good by attacking an overwhelming force of the Spanish enemy (Boo!) to give time for the BRITISH NAVY (Three Cheers! and wave Union Jack) to catch and destroy the Spanish enemy (Boo! then cheer because they are destroyed) but TOO LATE to save the not so BAD pirates who had sunk (with all hands) in their gallant attack (After all they were Englishmen. One faint cheer) on the Spanish (Boo!).

BAD pirates (Boo!) were ALWAYS sunk with all hands because they were bad. They could not be allowed to survive.

GOOD pirates (Hurrah! Wave Jolly Roger) either retired to run Ale Houses where jolly pirate songs were sung, or to become apparently sinister but actually benign characters in children's stories, OR became Lieutenant-Governor of Jamaica - as actually happened to Sir Henry Morgan (ex-(GOOD)-pirate)(Hurrah! Wave Jolly Roger AND Union Jack) until he was sacked for taking more commission than was usual even for Lieutenant-Governors.

The difference between GOOD pirates, BAD pirates and peaceful British trading ships was always difficult for foreigners to understand. All the ships carried heavy guns which they would use to rob and pillage the native population. GOOD pirates called it war, BAD pirates called it loot, and British traders called it profits from fair trade which was free to all as long as you were British and had a ship with large enough guns. Between them they made The British Empire great. (Wave Jolly Roger, Union Jack and flags of Joint Stock Companies) (who were more unprincipled than almost any one else including BAD pirates but BAD pirates didn't have titled Directors who went piously to Church nor did they bribe (did I say bribe, silly me, I meant support with financial assistance for timely advice) Ministers of the Crown to preserve the Joint Stock Companies' monopoly to rob and pillage nations that didn't have big enough guns.).

Did you follow that, Magdalena?"

"Yes, John. You explain it so well. Now can you tell me how Owen's Bazaar got its name since you mentioned the upright and honest Joint Stock Companies that made the British Empire so great, please?"

If you want more (surely not!) you can read on in The Worst Chain Story Ever Ch.01.

Og
 
PassionatePatty said:
Aye, Cap'n, me thinks ye need to be swimmin' cross the pond for some of me Lasagna... and to take advantage of me in me current pose! ;)
Click to expand...

Patty's a wee bitty dippy
For forgetting that I've got a shippy*
The Atlantic's a breeze
Crossed before she can sneeze
Then I'll shag her before she get's lippy!




* that appalling rhyme cost me one poetic licence point, but nevermind
 
Ahoy, ye scurvy dawgs and bonny wenches....how be yer Sunday treating ye? Any fine tales of booty from ye?
 
Dianthus said:
Ahoy, ye scurvy dawgs and bonny wenches....how be yer Sunday treating ye? Any fine tales of booty from ye?
Click to expand...

Arrrr, it be One-Eyed Tracy of the Wandering Eye. Well my booty is on deck for all to see, me lass.

(Yes, I'm sprawled naked on the bed as I type this, fresh from my bath and not having bothered to get dressed!)
 
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