JMohegan
.
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2006
- Posts
- 8,226
the dating game-bdsm style
- Thread starter the captians wench
- Start date
Homburg
Daring greatly
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2007
- Posts
- 13,578
JMohegan
.
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2006
- Posts
- 8,226
Homburg, you have described yourself as "socially dominant" many times. You say you "project" dominance, even when you walk into a non-kinky setting. You describe your male friend as submissive, and say you tell him to fetch drinks for you, and he does it. After spending the evening groping some young woman's ass during the course of ropework, you tease your friend by pronouncing "I'm more dominant!" and you celebrate his frustrated response.
All of that describes you and your friend. No problem. But it doesn't describe me or my friends at all.
This is the second time that you have projected a tone onto my posts, making the assumption that I am challenging you in some way. I am not.
the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
Last night a girl told me the best tip. Ask him to pleasure himself and then pay attention. I did and it informed my cocksucking. Although my wrist can't seem to do the same twisty thing his does in the same rhthym. Mister Man says it takes "years of practice."
*giggles and grins*
I know that twisty thing. *ebil grins* A few months of dilligant work maybe...not years.
Netzach
>semiotics?
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2003
- Posts
- 21,732
Last night a girl told me the best tip. Ask him to pleasure himself and then pay attention. I did and it informed my cocksucking. Although my wrist can't seem to do the same twisty thing his does in the same rhthym. Mister Man says it takes "years of practice."
Total hijack but this reminds me of a game the stud and I used to play. I'd sit behind him, pressed up against his back and reach around and he'd spew all kinds of lovely filth about pretending it was my own dick literally ie: attached to me. I'm sure he got the best HJ's of his life from exploiting my sense of genderfuck. Smart man.
Carry on, don't mind me...
reignophelia
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2007
- Posts
- 1,546
*giggles and grins*
I know that twisty thing. *ebil grins* A few months of dilligant work maybe...not years.
Oh the twisty thing...no joke. I agree with Wenchie. Once you get the rythm, it's a piece of cake.
Homburg
Daring greatly
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2007
- Posts
- 13,578
I accept that. I've accepted it before. That doesn't necessarily cause the basal reaction to go away. It just means that I tend to check myself before I lay into what I perceive as a challenge because I rationally understand that it is not.
I am not perfect. All I can claim is that I understand myself and my reactions well enough to attempt to work around them. In this case, I should have known better than to respond to something like after lifting, as hormonal levels are all kinds of out of whack and aggression levels are high. This is why perceived tone elicited comment last night, and similar tone warranted a *shrug* this morning.
While you may not be challenging, there is some misrepresentation here. The fetch a drink scenario was one where I said "Hey man, can you get me a drink while you're up", and he did so. I did not tell him to fetch a drink (assuming it is the post I'm thinking of).
As to the second part, it was humour. Representing it as you did paints a radically different, and innaccurate, picture of the event. Said friend laughed about the whole thing once he got over his initial frustration.
The comment about 'non-kinky setting' is pretty accusatory, but as I'm talking non-sexual dominance here, I'm going to chalk it up to perception and move on.
ETA : This is not intended as a pissy comment. Just an explanation. *nods to Twysted*
Last edited:
JMohegan
.
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2006
- Posts
- 8,226
I understand that miscommunication happens all the time. I am not criticizing you for your misperception; I am, however, trying to prevent it's recurrence.
Not accusatory, just a paraphrase of this post.
As for the "second part", I knew that was humor. That's why I described it as "teasing"!
As for the drink thing, the post I remembered was this one: "D/s aside, I have plenty of friendship that are clearly inequal. When you are socially dominant and you are friends with someone who is socially submissive, the relationship is going to be somewhat unequal by matter of course. Sure, there is no official power exchange, by if I tell my friend Alan to grab me a soda, he's going to do it simply because it is in his nature to follow commands."
I am not criticizing you, Homburg. I am trying to explain the difference in our M.O.'s, our styles, and our perceptions --- in an effort to get *you* to stop misinterpreting *me*.
Last edited:
intothewoods
Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2007
- Posts
- 10,966
Don't mind you, my ass! I want more details. What were the kinds of things he said?
intothewoods
Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2007
- Posts
- 10,966
wench and reign - All right. The gauntlet has been thrown down! Now I have to practice. 
reignophelia
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2007
- Posts
- 1,546
wench and reign - All right. The gauntlet has been thrown down! Now I have to practice.
Unfortunately it can work to your disadvantage. I can't remember the last time I had intercourse...
God I'm cranky!
Good luck girl!
Last edited:
Homburg
Daring greatly
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2007
- Posts
- 13,578
I'm trying, brother.
Ah, I was thinking of a different post. If it is important, I'll go find it. The one I was thinking of was in regards to a Navy friend that identitifes as a top, but still jumped up whenever I said anything to him.
Frankly, if you had PM's enabled, this would have been handled there. You don't, and I understand why, so it gets handled here. I'd love to take this discussion offline, as no one but you and I really need to be party to this sort of discussion, and come to some sort of accord. Difficult to do that under the circumstances. If you'd like to exchange e-mails, I'm perfectly willing to discuss it further there, and hash out why this keeps happening. Otherwise, well, we'll have to see how it works out. I'd rather not continue to hijack this thread.
intothewoods
Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2007
- Posts
- 10,966
Unfortunately it can work to your disadvantage. I can't remember the last time I had intercourse...
God I'm cranky!
Good luck girl!
Yeah, well. Be careful what you wish for. Mister Man can go for hours. Sometimes there are multiple rounds, and they each last hours.
We often have this exchange:
Me: Oh you are NOT hard again. Come the fuck on.
Him: 'fraid so, baby girl. (maniacal laughter ensues)
Me: That is just not normal.
Netzach
>semiotics?
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2003
- Posts
- 21,732
It's been eons. Since I'm such a good little showoff faggot show him how I beat off for him, that kind of thing.
the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
*giggles* reign's still right. I've gone multible rounds with out being vaginally penitrated by his cock. blow after blow after blow.....
Seeing how I orgasm from blowing him...I don't mind so much.
*giggles*
intothewoods
Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2007
- Posts
- 10,966
*giggles* reign's still right. I've gone multible rounds with out being vaginally penitrated by his cock. blow after blow after blow.....
Seeing how I orgasm from blowing him...I don't mind so much.
*giggles*
There is no such thing as multiple rounds without me being everywhere penatrated.
It's hard to be me. Alas.
intothewoods
Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2007
- Posts
- 10,966
reignophelia
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2007
- Posts
- 1,546
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2005
- Posts
- 11,656
the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
Okay, so I think I broke almost every "rule" we established here. But I was in constant contact with my core, texting and calling about every hour or so until it got really late, then I started texting again when I knew they would be awake.
Had fun, he's a cool guy, but just didn't feel what I did on the phone and im. *shrug* so no future, but no reason why we can't have fun, right? *giggles*
Now, a couple people have told me it's not fair to judge him too harshly on the first go, so that brings up the question, how long between dates?
But I was in constant contact with my core, texting and calling about every hour or so until it got really late, then I started texting again when I knew they would be awake. Had fun, he's a cool guy, but just didn't feel what I did on the phone and im. *shrug* so no future, but no reason why we can't have fun, right? *giggles*
Now, a couple people have told me it's not fair to judge him too harshly on the first go, so that brings up the question, how long between dates?
the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
So coffee goes a little bumpie, but their's enough interest to agree to some play. Play date leaves me shaking like a leaf (ie ) and curled up in his aarms for a little while ( double ) as he leave he kisses me on the forehead and says "I'll call you later today, okay?" (first thought "psht yeah right ) And first thought was right, no call that day.
so....Now I'm sitting here doing exactly what he wants me to, going nuts wanting to call and email and text and anything to get a hold of him. Okay it was a great lil play time, but it wasn't "omg I have to have you again right now" great.
so after sending a text or two just saying a couple naughty things, I'm trying to play it cool and not send anymore, or email, or call, since the wanker hasn't done anything to contact me. It's only been 24 hours since he said that (yes I know I'm sound desperate), and I know he's out of town (on business I think but I'm not 100% on that), but wtf!
Does the 3 day rule aply here too like in the nilla world? How long do you wait for "the call back", and when do you decide "it's too late now you cad"?
the main thought going thru my mind right now is "I want you, you fucking asshole" *giggles* *sigh* it was a really nice fuck and cuddle.
) and curled up in his aarms for a little while ( double ) as he leave he kisses me on the forehead and says "I'll call you later today, okay?" (first thought "psht yeah right ) And first thought was right, no call that day. so....Now I'm sitting here doing exactly what he wants me to, going nuts wanting to call and email and text and anything to get a hold of him. Okay it was a great lil play time, but it wasn't "omg I have to have you again right now" great.
so after sending a text or two just saying a couple naughty things, I'm trying to play it cool and not send anymore, or email, or call, since the wanker hasn't done anything to contact me. It's only been 24 hours since he said that (yes I know I'm sound desperate), and I know he's out of town (on business I think but I'm not 100% on that), but wtf!
Does the 3 day rule aply here too like in the nilla world? How long do you wait for "the call back", and when do you decide "it's too late now you cad"?
the main thought going thru my mind right now is "I want you, you fucking asshole" *giggles*
*sigh* it was a really nice fuck and cuddle.
the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
Am I asking too much?
Okay, why is it so hard to find a guy who will pay attention to me, let me suck his cock at least once every other day (min) and is actually interested in *me*? Oh and lives with in an hour of me.
What are your must haves?
Okay, why is it so hard to find a guy who will pay attention to me, let me suck his cock at least once every other day (min) and is actually interested in *me*? Oh and lives with in an hour of me.
What are your must haves?
JMohegan
.
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2006
- Posts
- 8,226
The best way for you to find someone who is interested in *you*, the whole package, is for you to behave as if you are interested in a guy, the whole package, too.
Are you seeking a cock with a guy attached to it, or a guy with whom you can share your interests in whatever it is that you like to do? If the latter, are you looking in the right places? If you like hiking, I would suggest joining a trail club. If you like politics, I would suggest volunteering for a campaign. You get the idea.
Look for someone with similar interests, ethics, and goals. Get to know the whole package, and let cock worship ultimately be about appreciation for the man himself.
the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
In all honesty, I'm just having a moment of frustration. I know what I would like, I'm just having trouble fine tuning it. I'm feeling needy is all, and maybe a bit lonesome. I'll be okay, just need a little attention and I have to be careful how I go about getting it.
