The New and Rule-Friendly "I Wish I Was Her/Him" Thread

We're not sick petition

Hi guys
Your sister from the UK who won't stop chattering! :rolleyes:
OK so here's a link for you ...

http://www.change.org/notsick

"But the World Health Organization (WHO) insists that I, and millions of other trans people are sick. The WHO actually considers transsexualism to be a mental disorder.

Since facing and overcoming discrimination for being a transgender woman back in March - when I was kicked out of and then re-admitted to the Miss Universe Pageant - I've been working to fight the stigma and discrimination facing people like me.

Join me in signing this petition and ask the World Health Organization to stop considering transsexual people mentally ill." Jenna Talackova

PS Starr - look! She used the word transsexualism ( with two ss's!! ) Ha! I'm learning ;) :rose:
 
A slightly related interjection about terminology.

The one thing I can't stand is people using the word 'tranny'. To me that sounds so trashy, apathetic and vulgar.

In times past I used to consider using some UK 'dressing' and escort services run for transgendered people. The kind of thing where they help you look as passable as possible and then take a group of you out on the town (while charging you a ridiculous amount of money for something you could really do by yourself - save for perhaps some makeup expertise).

I was quite interested, and had money to spare at the time. At the end of the advert for the service it said something like 'and then you can finish up in our dressing rooms and browse our shops which provide everything tranny'.

Yuck. That is not something I am interested in.

I have at times been back and forth on whether I am a transvestite or transgendered (it's certainly not an easy thing to work out :) ), but I am not, never have been and never will be a 'tranny'. :)

'Tranny' conjurs up images of Lily Savage... who for those fortunate enough to not know... is an utterly disgusting UK comedian who used to dress up as a very ugly woman and try to tell jokes. He has been known to say very unpleasant things about transgendered people in interviews before (so I am not just judging on appearance ;) ).

Just a bit of a rant based on a previous experience.

Back to the more sensible conversation now. ;)
 
Time to meet my "I wish I was her" role model: this Prof Alice Roberts who studies Anatomy... and makes it interesting! She's everything I want to be: smart, pretty and sexy, which is far too much to ask but just enough to wish for. She's also a really nice person 'cos I know some people who've met her :)

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Of course anatomy isn't my subject so here's my role model who is

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and he's really quite tasty :p
 
Here's a question I have. Are there different...levels to being transgendered? What I mean is this. Take person A, who feels so strongly that they have to go through the process of physically aligning their bodies with their genders. Then take somebody like me. I know I'm a woman on the inside, but I'm not sure that I want to go forward with any sort of transitioning, aside from shaving my legs, etc., and wearing pretty clothes. Am I...less of a transgender, or not transgender at all? If I knew I could have a complete reassignment surgery with ZERO risk of complications, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but, I'm just too scared to start that process. That's what I struggle with, because I know in my heart and my soul, I'm a woman, but I'm not sure that I'm truly transgendered because I'm not transitioning.

Does that make any sense at all?

My thoughts exactly.

I love to shave my body smooth, I love high heels (though I can never fit myself in them), I love anklets and belly chains, I just love being a woman in bed, but I don't want any reassignment surgery done. I mean, I would love to have breasts, I love my nipples being played with, but silicone doesn't quite attract my attention. I am happy with my medium sized cock, and I think of it as a boi-clitty, to be played with during sex as a woman's clitoris. I love to be submissive; the idea of not being in charge really turns me on.

But in general, I'm comfortable in my skin. My encounters with men have been satisfying, and though I may be physically different from the image that I have inside my head, on the whole I am content.

The thing with me is this: for me, the gayness lies in the fact that I would be the woman when I'm with a man. Like for instance the terminology of top/bottom acquires a new dimension - since I am a woman, obviously he would penetrate me. It would be natural. I want him to fuck me like I'm a woman: get his release, and then hold me close and cuddle.

I'm not sure if I got out everything exactly as it is in my head, but this is pretty much the gist of it.
 
Interesting thread. I think everyone, even straight men as I'm about to prove, have an image or ideal they would like to uphold. A person they see and say "Wish I looked like him."

I'm not a vain sort(good thing) I'd say an average looking guy who's done fine with women, but more through confidence, sense of humor and an engaging personality.

The other day the wife and I were discussing this thread, who would we want to be?

This is my choice. J.D. Fortune former lead singer of INXS. Wife describes him as a pretty bad boy and I can see it. I have the bad down, but was made no where near this pretty.

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Wishing versus ... needing?

Thanks for the post LoveC and it raises a relevant point.
If a little boy wants to dress up as Spiderman for Halloween then his parents will approve and encourage him; if he wants to dress as fairy princess he's going to meet all sorts of resistance, shock, abhorrence…
If a guy likes to dress up as Elvis then he'll probably get some funny looks, he might get some hassle but he could joke his way out of it.
So if you'd like to magically look like JD then fine - who is going to criticise your wish?
Are you getting my drift yet? :)
If a teenage XY, who knows she really IS a girl, starts dressing and behaving as a girl then she will get any amount of shit thrown at her. This is about life choices, not lifestyle. This isn't about choice but need. For me to go back to being a boy is unconscionable: I would kill myself. I have been there, on the edge and if it weren't for the love of my family…

So again, thank you for your point LoveC - it was good to raise that, but you are lucky enough to be entirely heterosexual and a bit of a dude ;) :kiss:

And Seamen (I really like Seamen - we have chatted now and again and he's lovely *waves*) but I've chosen my pronoun with care - am I right with that Seamen? I don't care what Seamen is … part time TS, living a life as a very attractive young man but having a sexual need that hovers somewhere between gay and TS. You go for it Seamen - you deserve happiness because you are a beautiful person but, I've no need to lecture you, be careful sweetie! X

We TS's should always be open-minded: people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones right? I have come across one or two TG extremists online, who feel that because they have undergone SRS that they have earned a right to look down on others. I mean "hello"??? That makes them every bit as bigoted as any trans-phobic cis-gendered person, if not worse. I have no time for one-upmanship.
 
Time to meet my "I wish I was her" role model: this Prof Alice Roberts who studies Anatomy... and makes it interesting! She's everything I want to be: smart, pretty and sexy, which is far too much to ask but just enough to wish for. She's also a really nice person 'cos I know some people who've met her :)

That seems like a great example of an inspirational 'I want to be her' based on more than just the physical.

I also think some of the most attractive women out there, are attractive based on their minds and not just what's on the outside.

Two of my favourites are Francesca Stavrakopoulou (professor of Hebrew and ancient religion) and Lucy Worsley (curator of various old and very expensive buildings in the UK, makes historic TV programs, and once replied to an email I sent her and made me very happy :) ).
 
This is my choice. J.D. Fortune former lead singer of INXS. Wife describes him as a pretty bad boy and I can see it. I have the bad down, but was made no where near this pretty.

This is just meant as a humorous aside, and as always, each to their own and all. :)

I do have to make a quick comment on this though.

JD Fortune is a bad boy in the same way that the lead singer of Oasis is a tough man (meaning... not at all really, but both the media and his agents want you to think he is). INXS and his solo career are hardly pushing cultural boundaries and making innovations either musically or in acceptable social conventions.

It's a bit like calling Elmo from Sesame Street a bad boy in my opinion. ;)
 
Ha! Katie, that is going to shock some of our lurkers - TGs want to be librarians and intellectuals "What?! You mean like ordinary people?!" :eek:;)
 
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This is just meant as a humorous aside, and as always, each to their own and all. :)

I do have to make a quick comment on this though.

JD Fortune is a bad boy in the same way that the lead singer of Oasis is a tough man (meaning... not at all really, but both the media and his agents want you to think he is). INXS and his solo career are hardly pushing cultural boundaries and making innovations either musically or in acceptable social conventions.

It's a bit like calling Elmo from Sesame Street a bad boy in my opinion. ;)

I agree as for his actual persona. But he has the look, which is all I base it on. Especially in the Pretty Vegas video. I like the wife's assessment of "pretty and bad"

I can carry off bad boy.

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But, not so pretty.

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perfect

For me, it was when I started growing hair on my legs, chest and arms, so right around 13/14 maybe? I remember shaving my legs for the longest time to try and postpone the inevitable. My dad is VERY hairy and masculine, so of course, I was blessed with his genes. I hated having a hairy body. I did what I could to try and keep a womanly appearance, but when you were my age at that point in time, you didn't want to walk around the locker room in middle school/high school looking like that. Times were waaaaay different. Everyone has a little bit of hair, but I have having to take an hour every other day to shave! Too much surface area!

Here's a question I have. Are there different...levels to being transgendered? What I mean is this. Take person A, who feels so strongly that they have to go through the process of physically aligning their bodies with their genders. Then take somebody like me. I know I'm a woman on the inside, but I'm not sure that I want to go forward with any sort of transitioning, aside from shaving my legs, etc., and wearing pretty clothes. Am I...less of a transgender, or not transgender at all? If I knew I could have a complete reassignment surgery with ZERO risk of complications, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but, I'm just too scared to start that process. That's what I struggle with, because I know in my heart and my soul, I'm a woman, but I'm not sure that I'm truly transgendered because I'm not transitioning.

Does that make any sense at all?

Makes perfect sense to this old guy. It's pretty frustrating to read these posts and have absolutely nothing in the way of suggestions. If it does any good at all, you have my sympathy. My wish is for you to be happy and productive.
 
I know in my heart and my soul, I'm a woman, but I'm not sure that I'm truly transgendered because I'm not transitioning.
The knowing in your heart and soul part? That's what makes you truly transgendered.

The not transitioning part? That's something that thousands of transgendered humans have lived with. Transition has only been possible for a relatively short time-- and less then that for FTM.

It doesn't matter why you are living un-sex-changed, your sex is not your gender.

:rose::rose:
 
And Seamen (I really like Seamen - we have chatted now and again and he's lovely *waves*) but I've chosen my pronoun with care - am I right with that Seamen? I don't care what Seamen is … part time TS, living a life as a very attractive young man but having a sexual need that hovers somewhere between gay and TS. You go for it Seamen - you deserve happiness because you are a beautiful person but, I've no need to lecture you, be careful sweetie! X

Thanks Sticky for your kind words, you really are all heart :rose:

Yes, I am he for the most part, though it's a bit complicated. I feel that gender is something that is fluid, rather than distinctly bipolar. I would say that I somewhat fluctuate between he and she, and that while I exclusively prefer the submissive role in relationship dynamics, at the same time I am perfectly okay with how I am. I mean, while I do wish that I had the slender, beautiful body of a woman, I am perfectly fine being who I am, because somehow the ideal image of myself that I have in my head and the actual person that I am coexist with one another without conflict.

I completely agree with Sticky and all the other beautiful people on this thread. Definitely, how a person is on the inside matters more than how one looks on the outside. :heart:
 
Yeah actually for many of us-- it matters a fuckton what we are on the outside. Just that one, single, label-- "trans gender" does not mean anything more than what it says.

But the spirit of your remark is very generous and lovely. :kiss:
 
Dear All,

I hope you don't mind a complete stranger and newbie stepping out the shadows like this but I couldn't stay in the dark for ever because reading this thread has been wonderful. Apologies if this is all a bit disjointed but there is so much to say in a few paragraphs!

I should introduce myself: I'm 50, born with a male body, which I still own! I've had three long term relationships with the most wonderful women with whom I still keep in touch. Somehow though I never got married, never had kids, somehow it didn't feel right because whilst I loved them, I never felt whatever it is that men and women need to take that leap of faith. Deep down I felt like a fraud and that I was deceiving them, because shamefully hidden away was my desire to be a woman. How could I marry when in 95% of my fantasies, I was a woman?
I had an old-fashioned upbringing from post-war mend-and-make-do parents who worked their butts off to raise four sons and so had no time to broaden their knowledge, though they encouraged me to do so. I was expected to follow the path of an honourable heterosexual man and back then, I simply didn't have the language to explain my own feelings. I knew that, if I said to my mother "I'm a girl in here" it would have broken her heart and shamed her in front of her friends and family. How could I do that to someone who I loved so much and had given me everything I was?
Stickygirl - you made me laugh out loud when you said about making dresses: I made mine in an old barn on the farm but never got caught! I used to hope I'd wake up as a girl - I used to pray so hard for that. Ha! This thread is like UN convention for trans* - Stickygirl, Stacy, Seaman, Sissy, Kate, Luna and Stella... truly a rainbow!

So what should I do now? A few weeks ago I finally told one of my closest female friends ( one of those former girlfriends ) about my life-long feelings. Needless to say she was quite surprised but we're still talking! I had to explain to her that I fantasised about men but....as a woman not as a gay man - it took me years to figure that on my own. But I'm a 6'2" athletic man, so transitioning would be unrealistic and I would most likely upset those closest to me and so make my life a misery - and that is not meant as a criticism of those of you who have transitioned. I wish I could turn the clock back but 'hey'. I can appreciate how shitty dysphoria is ( at last there is a word for it !! ) but I'm at an age where generally people become more philosophical about Life and perhaps resigned to their lot? I'm more concerned now about prejudice against other people than I am about my own situation, to which I've grown accustomed. So if you younger folk happen to hear a guy with grey hair speaking up for you, then he might just be me!

So thank you all for being so honest and sharing such personal thoughts and feelings so openly. I've looked through all the transgender threads here and often found myself saying "Yes, yes, yes - that's me." I wish you could imagine how much that means to me and, I suspect, to other people who have quietly read them and wiped away tears.
God
( if there was one )
bless you!
 
The knowing in your heart and soul part? That's what makes you truly transgendered.

The not transitioning part? That's something that thousands of transgendered humans have lived with. Transition has only been possible for a relatively short time-- and less then that for FTM.

It doesn't matter why you are living un-sex-changed, your sex is not your gender.

:rose::rose:

Thanks Stella. Just when I think I've made peace with myself, someone or something comes along and mucks it all up.

*hugs*
 
Hey - thanks for your post Whyaskme and I suppose the generational thing is an issue: understanding your own thoughts now is only a Google away.
The effect we have on our friends and family is something we all have to deal with and isn't something that been raised here before - you mention causing them and yourself misery and I suppose it depends how strongly you feel the need to transition... Are you happy now? Can resigned = happy?

My mother tells me that because I kept wearing my sisters outfits and playing with her toys she suspected before I even had words for it. Sure, there are phases all (?) children go through, but despite her continual nudges, I kept defaulting back to girl and it just made me miserable to be anything else... sheesh - what I put her through.
We had a big sit down talk one day when I was eleven or twelve and she gave me concessions - I could be myself at home, but school was a place where I had to pretend to be someone else... it wasn't a game I enjoyed but I accepted the deal.

So how did you guys strike that balance - between you own happiness and the possible anger and rejection from your peers?
 
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I agree as for his actual persona. But he has the look, which is all I base it on. Especially in the Pretty Vegas video. I like the wife's assessment of "pretty and bad"

I can carry off bad boy.

You look far more the part than that singer in the picture. :)

Great Lovecraft tattoo! :)
 
My mother tells me that because I kept wearing my sisters outfits and playing with her toys she suspected before I even had words for it. Sure, there are phases all (?) children go through, but despite her continual nudges, I kept defaulting back to girl and it just made me miserable to be anything else... sheesh - what I put her through.

It's nice when there's no big announcement to make, isn't it? I think my parents have me figured out pretty well after living with me for the last year. When I told my dad that my boyfriend and I were going to be Peter Pan and Tinkerbell for Halloween, he asked which one I was going to be, and wasn't surprised by the answer.
 
Hurray :) Thanks Stacy! And yes, somewhere to share things without feeling under pressure: this will be be great.
*trans! Yeah :rose:

Here's a bit of dialogue on the subject of rebirth. I'm not convinced by the concept of your soul being kinda recycled into new body after death ( I think my soul might prefer a few thousand years R&R after this life ;)) but somehow I can't rule it out...
Does anyone else have the feeling that in their previous lives they were a different biological gender? I get the feeling this might be the first time I've been in a male body... it sure as hell doesn't feel right to me. *shrugs* Just a thought that keeps popping up :cool:

Sticky, you bring up an excellent point, and I've often wondered such things. Lately, I've been wondering WHY exactly I'm transgendered. Perhaps it's biological, in that maybe the Y chromosome didn't contain enough SRY hormone? Or I've read somewhere that since all vertebrate embryos are inherently female, that perhaps I didn't receive enough hormones to fully "transform" my female embryonic brain completely into a male brain (hey, thank God it didnt!)

But maybe like you said it's something more than that. I believe that these bodies are just vessels for this life anyway, so maybe our life energy just got put into the wrong body on this round.

I certainly hope so. Because I desperately want to be a woman in my next life. I really want to experience being a wife and getting pregnant. That's been on my mind a lot lately. To feel another life growing inside my body would be profound and beautiful, and sadly, something I will never experience.

At least not in this life!

:D
 
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