"Make sure you really clean my cock with your tongue.... yeah just like that. You're blowjob skills are great girl, and your almost as fine as the girl I barebacked in the ass half an hour ago."
"I don't need a condom. I bought these male birth control pills on the Internet, and the e-mail message said that they are guaranteed to work. And what's really cool is that they are disguised as a package of Tic-Tacs. I've been using them for two weeks now and I haven't gotten a single girl pregnant."
“Now I remember where I've seen you before. You were on an episode of Jerry Springer where you brought your boyfriend on TV to tell him that you were once a man... Oh shit!”