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A Trans Thread For Trans Friends To Trans In

yukonnights said:
Thank you Bramblethon for your input. ~snip~

As I said before...not always cut and dry when it comes to some of the words we use. But it's good to discuss them because that brings us closer together. And to be honest, even after I read her piece I had no real idea whether or not her opinion was respected or not. That's the trouble with the web, it's easy to find answers, but are they good answers? However, after reading what others thought, it appears she is a respected voice in the Tran's community.
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Serano's books are academic ones and for the sake of clarity in her arguments, she introduces words that outside of those discussions are quite alien: passing centrism, oppositional sexism, cissexualism, trans-facsimilation, ungendering... but necessary to her essays. She goes to the trouble of defining the terms she employs and, as you have highlighted, she uses transsexual in its dictionary-defined sense again for the purposes of discussion. A problem such academic language can run into is when the Daily Mail latches onto a word like cisgender, to the outrage of its bigoted readership who wail "How dare you label us - you're the weird ones!"

I really admire her and am grateful to her for the way she dissects the layers of societal nuances that affect us in western society, both as women and trans women. I have to say that there were a number of paragraphs in Whipping Girl that I had to re-read in order to understand the point she was making! At times I struggled to place the instances she cites into my own experience. That's probably because my brain works differently to hers... I still have to remind myself what intersectionality means, or who the fuck third generation feminists are!
 
stickygirl said:
Serano's books are academic ones and for the sake of clarity in her arguments, she introduces words that outside of those discussions are quite alien: passing centrism, oppositional sexism, cissexualism, trans-facsimilation, ungendering... but necessary to her essays. She goes to the trouble of defining the terms she employs and, as you have highlighted, she uses transsexual in its dictionary-defined sense again for the purposes of discussion. A problem such academic language can run into is when the Daily Mail latches onto a word like cisgender, to the outrage of its bigoted readership who wail "How dare you label us - you're the weird ones!"

I really admire her and am grateful to her for the way she dissects the layers of societal nuances that affect us in western society, both as women and trans women. I have to say that there were a number of paragraphs in Whipping Girl that I had to re-read in order to understand the point she was making! At times I struggled to place the instances she cites into my own experience. That's probably because my brain works differently to hers... I still have to remind myself what intersectionality means, or who the fuck third generation feminists are!
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SG, I appreciate that information. It also sorta explains why I migrate to these kind of explanations because I can tend to get a bit too formal as well. I did it again the other day in a thread about "straight but still love to suck cock" :confused: I tried to convince them that words matter and the dictionary is usually the source to go to...not much luck, I'm afraid :rolleyes:

PS: I thought everyone knew what "intersctionality " meant though :D
noun
the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, regarded as creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage: through an awareness of intersectionality, we can better acknowledge and ground the differences among us. :confused:
 
So confused

Raised in a time and place that being who I wanted to be wasn't an option. Now I try to find fleeting moments of happiness/excitement/peace? From the outside I appear as a crossdresser, but am I. My life I have lived as a man while dreaming of being a woman.

Given a chance, while young, in a safe environment I would have gladly transitioned. Now I am what I am.
 
Iwantitnowpleas said:
Raised in a time and place that being who I wanted to be wasn't an option. Now I try to find fleeting moments of happiness/excitement/peace? From the outside I appear as a crossdresser, but am I. My life I have lived as a man while dreaming of being a woman.

Given a chance, while young, in a safe environment I would have gladly transitioned. Now I am what I am.
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These are for you, sweetheart
5b4b8abbe9fd7c6cc7c12d594a4b49a5--snapdragon-flowers-dahlias.jpg
 
Iwantitnowpleas said:
Raised in a time and place that being who I wanted to be wasn't an option. Now I try to find fleeting moments of happiness/excitement/peace? From the outside I appear as a crossdresser, but am I. My life I have lived as a man while dreaming of being a woman.

Given a chance, while young, in a safe environment I would have gladly transitioned. Now I am what I am.
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The thing is; You discovered yourself and embraced yourself. It sounds as if you are also at peace with yourself. These are rare gifts, in themselves. If one looks to the past, it is obvious that trans folks have only recently been afforded the option of fully conforming to their gender. Yes, some ancient cultures revered trans folks...but that wisdom has been lost for the most part. Thus, you bend the rainbow as far as you can to find that peace, happiness and excitement. As you say, you are what you are... and all any of us can do is strive for that. So perhaps you have won in the game that many others have lost?
 
yukonnights said:
I'm really happy that you have found acceptance from those who are important to you. No doubt, this will give you strength and encouragement to keep going in whatever direction you choose. Happy New Year...I know 2018 will be one you remember into old age ~ :rose:
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oh wow, thank you for the positivity! it is really appreciated.



one thing that having to be in disguise for almost 2 weeks taught me, is that the feelings i have are real. the confidence i have when i can be the way i really am, and appear the way i should appear, is real and there is nothing else that causes it within me. it’s sort of reaffirming. even my therapist noticed it. every cloud has a silver lining, and all that.
 
leather_spitfire said:
oh wow, thank you for the positivity! it is really appreciated.



one thing that having to be in disguise for almost 2 weeks taught me, is that the feelings i have are real. the confidence i have when i can be the way i really am, and appear the way i should appear, is real and there is nothing else that causes it within me. it’s sort of reaffirming. even my therapist noticed it. every cloud has a silver lining, and all that.
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One thing that always stands out to me is how often non-binary people tend to really be able to contemplate their inner selves. Maybe it's just a self defense thing we've developed over the years of trying to figure ourselves out??? Regardless, it's great that you have this ability too, and no doubt your happiness...or is it inner peace... will continue to increase as you continue your discoveries.

And you're more than welcome for the "positivity"... but I think it strengthens the giver even more than the receiver...so I guess that makes me selfish :D
 
Sticky, you look lovely behind those flowers.

You should post this on the GB just to light some of them up.
 
TransPunkPrincess said:
So this board seems to be just totally full up with cis gay dudes . . . not that there's anything wrong with the cis lifestyle, of course, but I know I can't be the only tran lurking in here. Come on and let's be friends.
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Really? I don't know that that's exactly true. Just look at the threads. This section of the board seems to have a lot of folks largely interested, or invovled in, one end of the "trans" spectrum or another. Be it "transvestites", including the proliferation of crossdressers and"sissy boys" (though they are "cis"), transgenders, or transsexuals and their chasers, they certainly seem to outnumber the gay and lesbian posts.

Then, of course, there's the proliferation of allegedly bi deep closet cases who say they'd "do a tranny" (sic, their words, not mine) but not another man because they aren't "gay".

But I get it. It really seems that anyone who is singularly committed to a "non-traditional" or non-heterosexual life or lifestyle, be it gay, lesbian, or trans is in the minority in a section supposedly dedicated to them.
 
UnderMyKilt said:
Really? I don't know that that's exactly true. Just look at the threads. This section of the board seems to have a lot of folks largely interested, or invovled in, one end of the "trans" spectrum or another. Be it "transvestites", including the proliferation of crossdressers and"sissy boys" (though they are "cis"), transgenders, or transsexuals and their chasers, they certainly seem to outnumber the gay and lesbian posts.

Then, of course, there's the proliferation of allegedly bi deep closet cases who say they'd "do a tranny" (sic, their words, not mine) but not another man because they aren't "gay".

But I get it. It really seems that anyone who is singularly committed to a "non-traditional" or non-heterosexual life or lifestyle, be it gay, lesbian, or trans is in the minority in a section supposedly dedicated to them.
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:rolleyes:
 
I've been unsure whether to post this, because weirdly, it feels more personal that being trans, but it's probably because it all feels so recent.
So I discovered I am asperger's - and female asperger's at that :) The reason I've posted it here is simply because there is a significant overlap in gender dysphoria and ASD, as it is more correctly described since DSM V. It was a surprise that it took so long for it to be recognised given the amount of psyching I've had, but I guess everyone was a bit blind-sided by the dysphoria, myself included. Since the dust settled on transitioning, there were still things in my head that didn't seem right to me so I had to push for more counseling to help work things out. I'm glad I did but I recognise that I am still figuring out my brain - I was diagnosed in August.

So... as a PSA to anyone questioning their gender, then ASD could be something worth investigating to help you on your journey. Weird is the new normal :cool:

:kiss:
 
stickygirl said:
So I discovered I am asperger's - and female asperger's at that :) The reason I've posted it here is simply because there is a significant overlap in gender dysphoria and ASD, as it is more correctly described since DSM V.
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It seems like that is a good thing to know, in terms of understanding your feelings and perhaps certain behaviors.

Another thing to remember is how many people respect you for your intelligence, courage, commitment to justice, and sense of humor. Apparently asperger's has not dinged those characteristics.

Wishing you the best, as always.
 
stickygirl said:
I've been unsure whether to post this, because weirdly, it feels more personal that being trans, but it's probably because it all feels so recent.
So I discovered I am asperger's - and female asperger's at that :) The reason I've posted it here is simply because there is a significant overlap in gender dysphoria and ASD, as it is more correctly described since DSM V. It was a surprise that it took so long for it to be recognised given the amount of psyching I've had, but I guess everyone was a bit blind-sided by the dysphoria, myself included. Since the dust settled on transitioning, there were still things in my head that didn't seem right to me so I had to push for more counseling to help work things out. I'm glad I did but I recognise that I am still figuring out my brain - I was diagnosed in August.

So... as a PSA to anyone questioning their gender, then ASD could be something worth investigating to help you on your journey. Weird is the new normal :cool:

:kiss:
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That is a brave and vulnerable decision. As with most such decisions, they usually prove to be a good decision. Information about our own self is power, I believe. My own self, and my many quirks are one of my favorite topics of discovery. I think you'll find this new information will be helpful and that it eventually brings a settled peace as well. The cool thing is; You didn't change into a different person just because a 'label' was found for one aspect of that which has always been the whole "you". Weird? I think we're all freaking weird :eek:
 
I have always been a heterosexual male , but I've always wondered what it would be like to suck a cock and to be fucked by a hard cock .... So I was thinking since I am a leg man and I love sucking on boobs , that I need to get together with a shemale .... Does anyone have any ideas or comments about this ?
 
Iwantitnowpleas said:
Raised in a time and place that being who I wanted to be wasn't an option. Now I try to find fleeting moments of happiness/excitement/peace? From the outside I appear as a crossdresser, but am I. My life I have lived as a man while dreaming of being a woman.

Given a chance, while young, in a safe environment I would have gladly transitioned. Now I am what I am.
Click to expand...

This is a really thought provoking thread and I think the one post I decided to quote is the closest one that reflects me. As for the definitions, I actually like the one that was criticised.

I would also pick up on the CD thing as "getting a kick out of what they wear and very often part of the kick is sexual". If I am a CD, then I haven't had a sexual kick yet (not to say I wouldn't). Going out en femme is actually more liberating and helps me think about, maybe decide, who the real me is. It feels more natural.

Back to the criticised definition: "a person having a strong desire to assume the physical characteristics and gender role of the opposite sex". Yes that describes me but then it generates more debate.

Coming back to basic personality, nature suggests that if I had 2 X chromosomes, it would be in keeping with my character. The Y chromosome defines physical characteristics at birth and how society nurtures us into a role. I guess if you have a weak Y chromosome and the X is (the next word sounds wrong) dominant, individuals can slip along the spectrum that others define.

At the end of the day, people can use labels as they wish. Some of us just wish we could have started off with 2 Xs and a proportion of us do something about it. As for giving myself a label, I only do so when it is attached to designer clothes.
 
CallmeGina said:
This is a really thought provoking thread and I think the one post I decided to quote is the closest one that reflects me. As for the definitions, I actually like the one that was criticised.

I would also pick up on the CD thing as "getting a kick out of what they wear and very often part of the kick is sexual". If I am a CD, then I haven't had a sexual kick yet (not to say I wouldn't). Going out en femme is actually more liberating and helps me think about, maybe decide, who the real me is. It feels more natural.

Back to the criticised definition: "a person having a strong desire to assume the physical characteristics and gender role of the opposite sex". Yes that describes me but then it generates more debate.

Coming back to basic personality, nature suggests that if I had 2 X chromosomes, it would be in keeping with my character. The Y chromosome defines physical characteristics at birth and how society nurtures us into a role. I guess if you have a weak Y chromosome and the X is (the next word sounds wrong) dominant, individuals can slip along the spectrum that others define.

At the end of the day, people can use labels as they wish. Some of us just wish we could have started off with 2 Xs and a proportion of us do something about it. As for giving myself a label, I only do so when it is attached to designer clothes.
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How is kick defined?
Is feeling like it is natural or how you should be, considered kick?
Is feeling good inside with nothing to do with sexuality, considered kick?
 
SissySalina said:
How is kick defined?
Is feeling like it is natural or how you should be, considered kick?
Is feeling good inside with nothing to do with sexuality, considered kick?
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I think we'll have to wait for the person who posted it originally to clarify. Having said that I am sure I get a buzz rather than a kick when I go out the way I want.
 
Curiousabouteverything said:
I have always been a heterosexual male , but I've always wondered what it would be like to suck a cock and to be fucked by a hard cock .... So I was thinking since I am a leg man and I love sucking on boobs , that I need to get together with a shemale .... Does anyone have any ideas or comments about this ?
Click to expand...

The thought that first comes to mind is: I think you would be very surprised if you ever did date a Transgender woman...also, I think you would find that you'd be pretty much like a fish out of water. There's a whole lot more going on than simple physical acts...frankly, it seems you're desires are more porn fueled than reality based. If you were to start at the first post in this thread and read to the one you just made, I think you could answer your own question. Best wishes as you try to figure yourself out though, it can be complicated not fitting in with societies norms and expectations.
 
SissySalina said:
How is kick defined?
Is feeling like it is natural or how you should be, considered kick?
Is feeling good inside with nothing to do with sexuality, considered kick?
Click to expand...

CallmeGina said:
I think we'll have to wait for the person who posted it originally to clarify. Having said that I am sure I get a buzz rather than a kick when I go out the way I want.
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"Because cross dressers are getting a kick out of what they wear and very often part of the kick is sexual. Drag queens are doing a performance, after which they take the corset off and the pastiche make-up and carry on being a guy." I thought that sounded like me and I take nothing back from the context in which it was put forward.

It's up to each of us to decide where we are on the gender spectrum and to decide our sexuality and how we express it. You only have to click to the GLBT Chatter to see how many men express their sexuality - and good for them: they get a kick out of being submissive, being a bottom and often assuming a feminine role because they see that as enhancing the role they play.

That's very different to people whose internal gender is at odds with their genes: trans or NB folk who become so distressed by that conflict that they consider suicide as a reasonable option. It might be that proportion of the sissy posters on GLBT are themselves depressed or have contemplated taking their lives or phone the Samaritans and Lit offers them a lifeline to help them unwind. If that were the case though, I suspect more people would join in this type of discussion.
 
Good points, Sticky, and thanks for that.

There may be a loud minority, there may be a silent majority. Those who make most noise aren't necessarily representative of the rest of us.
 
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