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Old 04-16-2017, 05:44 PM   #4001
LizVegas79
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I'm sorry ma'am, our return policy on used vibrators expires after 30 days.
But it's barely been a month and I only used it 90 times!

Last edited by LizVegas79 : 04-16-2017 at 05:53 PM.
 

Old 04-16-2017, 06:02 PM   #4002
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But it's barely been a month and I already used it 90 times!
Geez, okay, you win. I don't want to try to beat that.
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Old 04-16-2017, 06:14 PM   #4003
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Geez, stop beating off.
But it's my job.
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Old 04-16-2017, 06:22 PM   #4004
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But it's my blow job day.
Which brings up the age old question...
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Old 04-16-2017, 06:34 PM   #4005
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I'm a witch!
Ah role playing are we? Then I'm an auditor, bend over.
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Old 04-16-2017, 07:00 PM   #4006
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Ah pole dancing are we?.
Sure. You go first.
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Old 04-16-2017, 08:28 PM   #4007
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You suck first.
Sure.
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Old 04-16-2017, 09:40 PM   #4008
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The Cure.
Nah, I'm more of a Goo Goo Dolls girl.
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Old 04-17-2017, 01:17 AM   #4009
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Nah, I'm more of a GoGo girl, doll.
Ok, I can get into retro role-playing.
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Old 04-17-2017, 04:23 PM   #4010
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Ok, I can get into old asshole-playing.
After all, this is National Pork-A-Wrinkly Day.
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Old 04-17-2017, 04:40 PM   #4011
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After all, this is National Pull-A-Willy Day.
I'm just a foreign tourist looking for some fun - please give me some guidance here!
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Old 04-17-2017, 10:49 PM   #4012
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I'm just looking for some sun - please give me some guidance here!
Well, first, step away from the computer screen . . .
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Old 04-18-2017, 07:01 AM   #4013
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Step away from the computer screen ! ! !
Relax! Computer viruses are still not infectious to humans!

<scratching my head> I think...

<sneezing>

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Old 04-18-2017, 04:45 PM   #4014
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Relax! Computer dates are still not effective for humans!

<scratching my head> I think...

<sneezing>

Well, they do offer safe sex...of a sort.
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Old 04-18-2017, 10:40 PM   #4015
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Well, they do offer sex in the safe... sort of.
You mean the teller snuck you in?
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Old 04-19-2017, 09:57 AM   #4016
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You mean the feller's stuck in you?
It's a simple vacuum issue. Insert a finger along his shaft and it'll be free.
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Old 04-19-2017, 11:52 AM   #4017
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It’s really nothing. Just hold your pinky next to his pinky, and you will never hear from him again.
But I want to hear more from him!
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Last edited by RubenR : 04-19-2017 at 12:32 PM.
 

Old 04-19-2017, 11:54 AM   #4018
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But I want to bear kids from him!
Parenthood is a serious undertaking, you realize.
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Old 04-19-2017, 05:50 PM   #4019
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Parenthood is a long series of different undertakings, you realize?
I don't know what's worse - watching my kids grow up so fast or wishing they'd grow up faster.
 

Old 04-20-2017, 03:45 AM   #4020
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I don't know what's worse - watching my kids walk so fast or wishing they'd walk on faster.
I’m telling you – kids shouldn’t be allowed in toy stores!
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Old 04-20-2017, 09:49 AM   #4021
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I’m telling you – beds shouldn’t be in adult toy stores!
What's wrong with having a place to try out the products before buying?
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Old 04-20-2017, 01:18 PM   #4022
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What's wrong with having a public place to try out sex toys before buying?
If Vegas can have cannabis cafes, I don't know why we can't have sex toy cafes.
 

Old 04-20-2017, 01:22 PM   #4023
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If Vegas can have cannibal cafes, I don't know why Liz Vegas can't have oral sex cafes.
That's right, Liz - it's just two different ways of eating people.
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Old 04-20-2017, 01:37 PM   #4024
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That's right, Liz - there is more than one way of meeting different people.
If we're going to have an oral sex cafe, we're going to need menus for our customers!
 

Old 04-20-2017, 01:40 PM   #4025
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If we're going to have a woman's sex cafe, we're going to need men for our customers!
I can just imagine the menu: French Specialties; Hot Italians; Spicy Creoles...
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