feelings for a friend

Hi, my name is Carly and I'm from AZ. I'm 22 and I've known I was bisexual for about 5 years now. I'm looking for some advice.

I have a good friend that I just met recently named Tegan. We've been hanging out every day and sometimes one-on-one and it's never awkward. We both talk a lot about boys and which boys we like and which we don't, but I really want to secretly play with her, take off all her clothes and eat her out until she cums, i can't get it out of my head.

We've been friends for about six months and sometimes we'll sleep in the same bed and sometimes even cuddle. I want to talk to her about my feelings- it's not really like I want to be her girlfriend, I just think she's very attractive and I think she might think I am too. she's never really said her sexuality, but she seems straight and only talks about boys. However this other girl was talking about my body last night and she agreed that I have a nice body.

What do I do? I really don't want to lose her as a friend.

thanks everyone <3

Since you both also talk about guys...you should have a 3 some. Then you can get with her without having to verbalize your feelings up front.

I could, but i'm not sure if theres any man that we're both interested in. I don't know how i would ask her to do that, or are you saying I should just try and make the situation happen?

daisycarly said:

I could, but i'm not sure if theres any man that we're both interested in. I don't know how i would ask her to do that, or are you saying I should just try and make the situation happen?

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I would say your opening is during the cuddling you guys do. Maybe take things a step further than you normally would there. If she sleeps over, say that you're hot and take a some clothes off. Accentuate your best assets

Just go for it....yes

default24 said:

I would say your opening is during the cuddling you guys do. Maybe take things a step further than you normally would there. If she sleeps over, say that you're hot and take a some clothes off. Accentuate your best assets

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I agree with this I say have her over for an intended sleep over and watch a movie that is extremely sexy or hot or a scary movie and sit with each other. Hopefully a hand hold or a hug could come about if so make it last longer than normal. If nothing starts there take it to bed and when cuddling take it just a bit further than normal. Sounds like high school but hey it worked then lol. Good luck and hope to hear the progress

You claim to be 22 and you talk about "boys." Do women who are really 22 talk about boys rather than men?

I say boys rather than men because both of us seem pretty nonchalant about it..as in, we both don't have boyfriends right now. She just got out of a an abusive relationship and I'm moving so we're more just talking about who we think is attractive when we go out, not really who is boyfriend material..

Hey Daisy, have you managed to figure out what you are going to do about your feelings?

Nooo I still haven't.

Last night we drank some at this bar and this guy i know she has a crush on was there, but he was being a loser and not paying any attention to her...he's so stupid..

soooo we ended up going back to my house to smoke and watch tv and she fell asleep on the couch. I woke her up and we went to my bed again and I told her I was going to cuddle her and she said sure. Eventually I held hands with her while spooning her and we fell asleep like that. We were both really tired and stoned and it was like 3 am so i dunno.

it felt so nice being next to her like that I know it would be really fun to play with her and make her happy, especially because I know i could give it to her better than at least some of the guys shes been with.

Take the plunge

Sometimes you just have to take the plunge....

Pick the right moment, although you will feel there never is a right mo ent, and tell her how you feel. You never know she may be busting for you as well...

Goodluck xx

you're right, thanks. ill do it soon

...

daisycarly said:

Nooo I still haven't.

Last night we drank some at this bar and this guy i know she has a crush on was there, but he was being a loser and not paying any attention to her...he's so stupid..

soooo we ended up going back to my house to smoke and watch tv and she fell asleep on the couch. I woke her up and we went to my bed again and I told her I was going to cuddle her and she said sure. Eventually I held hands with her while spooning her and we fell asleep like that. We were both really tired and stoned and it was like 3 am so i dunno.

it felt so nice being next to her like that I know it would be really fun to play with her and make her happy, especially because I know i could give it to her better than at least some of the guys shes been with.

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The next time your spooning ( I am curious who is inside and who is outside) offer up your toys to play with if she is interested. Tell her how much you were I n the mood that night for sex and how disappointed you are. Or while spooning, same gentle caresses and maybe a kiss on the shoulder. Move things along. Tell her how important she has become in your life and thank her. Tell her whatever she needs or wants, your there for her. One of those should move the relationship towards your goal. I hope it does.

Or just ask her if you can kiss her.

hikingman37 said:

The next time your spooning ( I am curious who is inside and who is outside) offer up your toys to play with if she is interested. Tell her how much you were I n the mood that night for sex and how disappointed you are. Or while spooning, same gentle caresses and maybe a kiss on the shoulder. Move things along. Tell her how important she has become in your life and thank her. Tell her whatever she needs or wants, your there for her. One of those should move the relationship towards your goal. I hope it does.

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I am on the outside normally because I'm a bigger person haha. We both always try and meet up with these guys that never want a thing to do with us, and I definitely think I should tell her how important to me she is because I haven't yet really. Although she knows it. I just think she might be straight...I'm just going to get motivation to kiss her out of the blue

I certainly don't think that the next step is to ask her if she wants to do a threesome, as I saw one respondent answer. You say you've gotten to cuddle stage. Now, when you both get to 18, it isn't a long step to fondle. If that goes well, it naturally can move into intimate kissing and fingering. You just have to check at every transition to see if you can move on to the next. But I do suggest that you both wait until you're 18.

When you are with her talking, just tell her you are bi. I think you will be suprised

lol, we're both in our 20s so dont worry! she already knows i consider myself bi. I just don't know what she considers herself. also, i believe my feelings faded for her. Sometimes when I really care about someone and they are also attractive, I get overwhelming sexual feelings I don't understand. I think it's because she has been so mistreated by guys in the past, I want to show her that I can make her feel good without so much of the pain of the men in her life. Now I know i just really love her and want her to be treated well.

^ good luck!
whatever happens, let us know plz

Hm, all the advice here seems to be based on videos with titles like 'Innocent lesbian coeds 3'.

Yes, you could just dive in and make a physical pass at her, but there's a risk of making the friendship awkward, and you say that the friendship is something valuable to you, so maybe be careful about that. If she's completely straight, and thought that you guys were having a purely innocent friend-cuddle, then she might be kind of distressed if you suddenly start sliding your hand up her thigh or something. Especially if she's been through abusive relationships, you might be risking violating the trust she's built up in you, and the safe space that she feels she has with you by suddenly turning something she thought was platonic into something sexual without talking to her about it first.

The other route would be to sound out her feelings about girl-girl sex a little more subtly. You could just talk to her openly about being bisexual, which is a perfectly normal thing to tell a close friend, especially one who you talk to about sex and relationships a lot. You don't have to mention having any feelings for her to begin with. That'll give her a chance to tell you whether or not she's attracted to women too, without it being explicitly about you wanting to get inside her pants.

Then if she confesses to always having wanted to try lesbian sex, then you can start leading the conversation toward what lesbian fantasies you have, does she ever fantasize about any of her female friends, is she wet right now... you get the idea

LondonMzungu said:

Sometimes you just have to take the plunge....

Pick the right moment, although you will feel there never is a right mo ent, and tell her how you feel. You never know she may be busting for you as well...

Goodluck xx

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Agreed. You should tell her about your feelings. Honesty is always the best way to start and mantain a relation.

Good luck!