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Distance Domination-Support Thread

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I'm having major fits!

My net at home is down and I don't know why. :( I'm jacking mom's now. But man am I having with draws, and I thought that trying to find time with my Love was hard before. *pout pout pout*

But I did get 45 mins on the phone with him yesterday. :cathappy:
 
the captians wench said:
I'm having major fits!

My net at home is down and I don't know why. :( I'm jacking mom's now. But man am I having with draws, and I thought that trying to find time with my Love was hard before. *pout pout pout*

But I did get 45 mins on the phone with him yesterday. :cathappy:
Click to expand...

Hope you get it up and running soon CW. Missing you around here, miss Boobsqueezer too. Welcome to the thread Dulchan, nice to have you here.
 
ChromeCollar said:
Hope you get it up and running soon CW. Missing you around here, miss Boobsqueezer too. Welcome to the thread Dulchan, nice to have you here.
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Thanks sweetie. :kiss: Some techie is suposed to call me tomarrow...but you know how those things go. :rolleyes:
 
MasterPhoenix said:
I never said that subs were fragile, I said that subs need reassurance more than 'nilla people.
Click to expand...

In a vanilla real-life relationship, I've never needed a lot of reassurance...I've always been pretty confident that whoever I was with was happy to be with me!! (and I happy to be with him...)

However, as a newbie to all of this - being on-line is especially difficult and I find myself trying to read meaning in to every word since I can't see his physical reactions.

I've read through some other threads here discussing a sub's "neediness" - I hope I never come off as too needy, too whiney - too fixated on me me me because this is about serving, pleasing him....

So - as a new submissive exploring this life-style, I appreciate as much input, reassurance, communication as possible.
 
cookiecat said:
In a vanilla real-life relationship, I've never needed a lot of reassurance...I've always been pretty confident that whoever I was with was happy to be with me!! (and I happy to be with him...)

However, as a newbie to all of this - being on-line is especially difficult and I find myself trying to read meaning in to every word since I can't see his physical reactions.

I've read through some other threads here discussing a sub's "neediness" - I hope I never come off as too needy, too whiney - too fixated on me me me because this is about serving, pleasing him....

So - as a new submissive exploring this life-style, I appreciate as much input, reassurance, communication as possible.
Click to expand...

I feel like the most needie little subbie in the world.*giggles* I'm always whining about how much I miss him, and wish I could talk to him more, and how he never answers his bloodly mobile! :p Okay so he did yesterday, once. *giggles* I try my best not to bug him too much, but I don't think I do a very good job of it. Infact I mustered up the courage one time to ask him if he thought I was too needy. He was very nice about it, he said 'sometimes'. *giggles* So then I asked him if he could deal with it, and he said yes. Yes I'm needy, I always have been, my ex would testify to that and we were totally vanilla.

I need lots of reasurance, and I wish I could talk to him constantly, but I'm getting better at not drivin him nuts sending a million texts, and calling him all the time. And i think he does a good job at making me feel loved and as close to him as I possibly can be right now. :)
 
the captians wench said:
And i think he does a good job at making me feel loved and as close to him as I possibly can be right now. :)
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the best feeling in the world when you're long distance, isn't it? good for you captain's wench!! :)
 
cookiecat said:
the best feeling in the world when you're long distance, isn't it? good for you captain's wench!! :)
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It is. :heart:

And it's wonderful when he answer's his phone and I get to chat with him. I just love his voice. :heart: I don't get to actually talk to him too often, and with my net down im time is non existant. And it sucked that I ran out of minutes mid cum (which by the way is only the second time I gotten to do that) but the time was wonderful. :heart:
 
Oh.... I understand.

cookiecat said:
In a vanilla real-life relationship, I've never needed a lot of reassurance...I've always been pretty confident that whoever I was with was happy to be with me!! (and I happy to be with him...)

However, as a newbie to all of this - being on-line is especially difficult and I find myself trying to read meaning in to every word since I can't see his physical reactions.

I've read through some other threads here discussing a sub's "neediness" - I hope I never come off as too needy, too whiney - too fixated on me me me because this is about serving, pleasing him....

So - as a new submissive exploring this life-style, I appreciate as much input, reassurance, communication as possible.
Click to expand...

Well, you have put exactly how I am feeling right now in words. I do miss my Master very much at times and I'm still deciding is that okay to let him know how much I do without coming off "needy".

The last thing in the world I want is to be called "irrational", but the way I feel about my Master is so very strong compared to any 'nilla relationship. I always as well never felt those issues w/ 'nilla relationships.... maybe because Master evokes emotion in myself that no one else ever has?

He is truly a kind Master and I think he would understand, but I don't want to become defined as "needy".... Also, I want nothing more than to please him...

I'm feeling a little confused/scared and would appreciate any advice for a novice as myself....

*hugs*
 
BeBe81 said:
Well, you have put exactly how I am feeling right now in words. I do miss my Master very much at times and I'm still deciding is that okay to let him know how much I do without coming off "needy".

The last thing in the world I want is to be called "irrational", but the way I feel about my Master is so very strong compared to any 'nilla relationship. I always as well never felt those issues w/ 'nilla relationships.... maybe because Master evokes emotion in myself that no one else ever has?

He is truly a kind Master and I think he would understand, but I don't want to become defined as "needy".... Also, I want nothing more than to please him...

I'm feeling a little confused/scared and would appreciate any advice for a novice as myself....

*hugs*
Click to expand...

letting Him know how you feel, is not considered 'needy' the reason you never felt this way in a 'nilla' relationship is because you give up yourself A LOT more in this type of relationship, as Master said, you do become more vulnerable. communication is key, and your Sir needs to know how you are feeling every step of the way, so no, in my opinion of course, you wouldn't be considered 'needy' for telling Him how much you miss Him, etc...
 
.....

lil_slave_rose said:
letting Him know how you feel, is not considered 'needy' the reason you never felt this way in a 'nilla' relationship is because you give up yourself A LOT more in this type of relationship, as Master said, you do become more vulnerable. communication is key, and your Sir needs to know how you are feeling every step of the way, so no, in my opinion of course, you wouldn't be considered 'needy' for telling Him how much you miss Him, etc...
Click to expand...

Thank you very much.... you are quite right.... communication is the one true key we have to each other...

I just send him a small message about it. I wish to never not let Master know how I'm feeling, but I guess the fear of being considered "needy" was casting a shadow on my thoughts.

Once again thank you! :cathappy:
 
BeBe81 said:
Well, you have put exactly how I am feeling right now in words. I do miss my Master very much at times and I'm still deciding is that okay to let him know how much I do without coming off "needy".

The last thing in the world I want is to be called "irrational", but the way I feel about my Master is so very strong compared to any 'nilla relationship. I always as well never felt those issues w/ 'nilla relationships.... maybe because Master evokes emotion in myself that no one else ever has?

He is truly a kind Master and I think he would understand, but I don't want to become defined as "needy".... Also, I want nothing more than to please him...

I'm feeling a little confused/scared and would appreciate any advice for a novice as myself....

*hugs*
Click to expand...

I think the whole need issue is a case specific scenario. I do not agree that submissives feel a stronger need for their Masters than a regular non D/s relationship couple might feel. I think it revolves around the general depth of your feeling for the person in general. I have had relationships that did not involve D/s or BDSM in any fashion and I felt the need for close contact, positive reassurance, etc etc. That was not the submissive coming out in me. That was just me being in love and wanting to be around someone all the time.

I wonder if people just associate this "needy" attitude with D/s because they have not had the depth of feeling for someone in a non D/s type relationship so they can not relate? As for your post BeBe, if you want to please him I think you should be completely open and honest with him about how you feel. Let him guide you from there, and you should not worry about becoming to needy. I am sure he will reassure you and assuage your fears.
 
BeBe81 said:
Thank you very much.... you are quite right.... communication is the one true key we have to each other...

I just send him a small message about it. I wish to never not let Master know how I'm feeling, but I guess the fear of being considered "needy" was casting a shadow on my thoughts.

Once again thank you! :cathappy:
Click to expand...

you're very welcome :) :rose: i KNOW that i am a needy lil bitch, but Master would have me no other way *grins* i am constantly needing His reassurance,etc...but as i said, He loves me, faults and all!
 
hmmmm.....

ChromeCollar said:
I think the whole need issue is a case specific scenario. I do not agree that submissives feel a stronger need for their Masters than a regular non D/s relationship couple might feel. I think it revolves around the general depth of your feeling for the person in general. I have had relationships that did not involve D/s or BDSM in any fashion and I felt the need for close contact, positive reassurance, etc etc. That was not the submissive coming out in me. That was just me being in love and wanting to be around someone all the time.

I wonder if people just associate this "needy" attitude with D/s because they have not had the depth of feeling for someone in a non D/s type relationship so they can not relate? As for your post BeBe, if you want to please him I think you should be completely open and honest with him about how you feel. Let him guide you from there, and you should not worry about becoming to needy. I am sure he will reassure you and assuage your fears.
Click to expand...

I must consider that thought. I have had several 'nilla relationships in which I would have described my emotion as love, but reflecting of that and the emotions I feel for my Master are quite different. I do know if I am for the first time feeling "love" or what, but it is much more than I have ever felt before. So, I suppose that would in fact cause a confusion in my mind.

So, I will focus on this "food" for thought for a bit and decide.

Thank you for your thoughts. :cathappy:
 
myinnerslut said:
im needy. i know i am. i consantly crave reassurance that what im doing is pleasing him, making him happy, making him smile. i love him, and i am afraid i come on too strong sometimes. Sir has assured me several times that he loves me, that i am his, and that i shouldnt worry so much but i cant help it. having my new mantra has helped in the past day or so and i hop it continues to.
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i think the 'worry' is a big part of our submissive nature. i worry all the time, about the smallest things. it's just who i am :) Master is at work today, and i'm missing Him terribly. i text messaged Him to tell Him just that. i don't know why some days are so much harder than others *sighs* but in 43 days, He'll be here! :nana:
 
BeBe81 said:
I must consider that thought. I have had several 'nilla relationships in which I would have described my emotion as love, but reflecting of that and the emotions I feel for my Master are quite different. I do know if I am for the first time feeling "love" or what, but it is much more than I have ever felt before. So, I suppose that would in fact cause a confusion in my mind.

So, I will focus on this "food" for thought for a bit and decide.

Thank you for your thoughts. :cathappy:
Click to expand...

i know what you're saying. i've been in love before. as a matter of fact the relationship i was in before i met Master, i was VERY much in love. it was a completely 'nilla relationship and even though i was 'madly in love' i still never had the feelings i have now. i didn't miss him as much as i do Master etc...i do think there are some things are done or felt because of our submissive nature. and being one who believes that 'submissiveness' is not taught, it's something you're born with, it's in your personality, i'd say, that even in 'nilla relationships (before you find the lifestyle) your submissive traits are still there, so have we ever really been 'nilla? hmmmm...more food for thought....
 
....

lil_slave_rose said:
i think the 'worry' is a big part of our submissive nature. i worry all the time, about the smallest things. it's just who i am :) Master is at work today, and i'm missing Him terribly. i text messaged Him to tell Him just that. i don't know why some days are so much harder than others *sighs* but in 43 days, He'll be here! :nana:
Click to expand...


Oh... yay!

I worry constantly about the most insufficient things sometimes.... *rubs forehead* I am not alone. :)
 
Hmmm....first the word choice of fragile and now needy. I will admitt to being fragile but the term needy bothers me. Perhaps it is because whenever I think of needy I see this Hollywood blonde with long pink nails whinning. I am most def. not that.

As a teenager I realized that I needed more care and reassurance in a relationship than most. I also realized that I needed an older partner one who would understand, guide and try to 'fix' my negative thinking of myself. In short I need the abilty to stop being 'strong' and let go, just be who I am. Just because I know what I need doesn't make me needy. And not once has Daddy said that about me...in fact he has to remind me that it is Okay to let go and let Him take control.

"...I am not a bother, I am Loved..."
 
BeBe81 said:
Oh... yay!

I worry constantly about the most insufficient things sometimes.... *rubs forehead* I am not alone. :)
Click to expand...

no, you are not alone :rose: i have a hard time getting to sleep at night because that is when EVERYTHING comes to my head, i start worrying about stupid little things, did i say something wrong before Master put me to bed, did i please Him?, when i told Him i was too tired to 'play' was He uspset? that wasn't very submisive of me *sighs* that's only a small portion of things i worry about, then starts in the 'how am i gonna pay that bill' 'well if i only pay half of this one, then i can pay all of that one' 'i gotta go to the store tomorrow before work, will i get up on time' etc...ahhh the the things in my head....
 
littleone77 said:
Hmmm....first the word choice of fragile and now needy. I will admitt to being fragile but the term needy bothers me. Perhaps it is because whenever I think of needy I see this Hollywood blonde with long pink nails whinning. I am most def. not that.

As a teenager I realized that I needed more care and reassurance in a relationship than most. I also realized that I needed an older partner one who would understand, guide and try to 'fix' my negative thinking of myself. In short I need the abilty to stop being 'strong' and let go, just be who I am. Just because I know what I need doesn't make me needy. And not once has Daddy said that about me...in fact he has to remind me that it is Okay to let go and let Him take control.

"...I am not a bother, I am Loved..."
Click to expand...

i definantly am not the 'hollywood blonde with long pink nails whining' either, but i am needy, in that i NEED Master's constant re-assurance to me. i NEED to know i'm pleasing Him always. i NEED to feel His arms around me. i need alot of things so yea i see myself as needy, do my needs/wants get in the way of His? No way!
 
lil_slave_rose said:
i definantly am not the 'hollywood blonde with long pink nails whining' either, but i am needy, in that i NEED Master's constant re-assurance to me. i NEED to know i'm pleasing Him always. i NEED to feel His arms around me. i need alot of things so yea i see myself as needy, do my needs/wants get in the way of His? No way!
Click to expand...

Exactly! Once again well said.

Its interesting the differences and similiarities between a D/s relationship and a DaddyDom/s relationship. Both are simply heaven I think
 
BeBe81 said:
Oh... yay!

I worry constantly about the most insufficient things sometimes.... *rubs forehead* I am not alone. :)
Click to expand...
You are not alone, I too worry about the smallest of things, and sometimes i find all kinds of emotions are running around in my head. But my Master always manages to reassure me.
My Master has not been well for a few days, I will worry about him now until he is well enough to chat again. Hopefully it wont be too long, I miss him loads. :kiss:
 
littleone77 said:
Exactly! Once again well said.

Its interesting the differences and similiarities between a D/s relationship and a DaddyDom/s relationship. Both are simply heaven I think
Click to expand...

*grins* well Master is also my Daddy, but i am primarily His slave. our Daddy/princess 'roles' are more in the bedroom, or when i'm needing that loving, reassurance, or guidence. though i get it as a slave too...*sighs* i'm starting to not make sense LOL....Master posted something about our 'roles' in another thread not long ago>>He explains it MUCH better than i ever could...i believe it's the 'Daddy Doms and the girls who love them' or something like that *shrugs*
 
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