Were You Taken Advantage Of When Drunk Or High?

or forced into having sex when you were in no condition to protect yourself?

I'm not limiting this to females only...sign of the times.

And NO you were NOT at fault. No matter where you might have been or what condition you were in.

No is No. And a person under age or under the influence of anything can not legally give consent...as far as I know.

This thread was brought on by a conversation with a friend of mine.

I had to straighten her out her way of thinking....Rape is Rape.

I gave it up to a hot young blonde one night in the back seat of my car.

We were with another couple and I had let my best bud drive my new car as we sit in the back seat. Was our first date. Now I never was THAT irresistible...truth is she was a nymphomaniac ( believe it or not a couple of weeks with one of those is way too much...if you live through it.)

Anyway she wanted some and didn't give a damn who was in the car. I didn't really want a fuck fest with two of my good friends in the front seat...seemed kind of rude.

However, it was a case of give in or get violent and she was smoking hot and not taking NO for a answer.

So I did it anyway...she left her boyfriend and took up with me until my health started failing about three weeks later...

If she would have waited until we dropped them off I'm sure I would have made a move, it just kind of bothered me.

Not that I don't like aggressive Ladies...I so do.

Manners and a little class go a long way.

But that is not what this thread is about.

Nobody willing to admit things didn't go as you had planed?

Or are you just cautious here at Lit.

Yes I have been. Having said that I have to say this. I have been drunk and high more than a few times and never, not even once did I NOT know what I was doing even when I knew I was exceeding my limit. I just told that little voice in my head to shut up. I also was well aware that the guy I was with was likely gonna be in my bed in the morning.

There's a world of difference being drunk and then drinking some more because, well what the hell, why not? … and being raped.

There's drunk or high

There's rape

You mentioned that little voice, BeingTrue, but I think some people just don't have that or they're already used to ignoring it. I don't want to get into a long argument about intentions and later changes of mind. All the same, feeling pressured to having sex can range from fear of losing face in front of your mates ( for men mostly ) or knowing it was probably gonna end up in bed, so yea, well whatever, lets get on with it and, whatever the lawyers might argue, I don't regard that as being rape.

Having your drink spiked, or being so drunk you can't respond, means you cannot object, so there's no question it's rape. Being threatened in any way, it's rape.

Can men and women be judged equally in the back of car situation - yes they can. Are women more often in a position where decide it's better to button their lip or back down to a guy - yes they are. Seems to me that's where half the problem lies: women are used to shutting up.

Just my thoughts but I know jack shit.

Hey sticky, how is Jack doing these days? I used to know him when I was younger (we called him Mr. Shit back then) but as I have gotten older I am finding out that I did not know him quite like I thought I did.

To your point, which as usual, was an excellent one, yes there are worlds of difference between the events that can happen once we are impaired. To those that have been taken advantage of AGAINST their will or intentions, my heart will always go out to you. Too often what starts out as a good time can jump off the rails and end badly. Fortunately I have never been forced to do anything against my will. One of the biggest reasons for that is I simply never, ever go out without friends and my friends are a lot closer than most. We ride together we defend to the end. There is always a few sober ones to take care of us that have silenced that little voice reminding us that we are gonna regret this in the morning. So yeah I have had a few people take things further than I would normally allow in my right frame of mind but always I knew what I was doing. I just chose to let it happen. Hopefully I will never be in a situation where the events are beyond my control. I do not ever want to have to live with that not only in that particular moment but the future as well.

I posted during kind of a vulnerable moment, and changed my mind after a little further consideration. . .

That's awful, but I don't suppose uncommon.
Now if it had been a girl followed a guy in and did the same, who would have the appearing boyfriend have blamed…?

Rape culture

FGB said:

Were You Taken Advantage Of When Drunk Or High?
or forced into having sex when you were in no condition to protect yourself?

Click to expand...

This is Rape

I am highly uncomfortable with this thread - actually exceedingly uncomfortable.

FGB said:

I gave it up to a hot young blonde one night in the back seat of my car.

Click to expand...

How does the hot blonde story relate in any way to being taken advantage of? Yet recalling it immediately after your first post confuses the message delivered.

That confusion can have dire consequences with impressionable minds.

http://youtu.be/mKTh6P1Fx8I

QUOTE=NightL;59366186]This is Rape

I am highly uncomfortable with this thread - actually exceedingly uncomfortable.
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It is an uncomfortable subject...I have spent many hours talking to people who went through this sort of thing...Talking about it helps, although I recommend caution here at Lit. because of the trolls and just plain mental midget assholes.

If you feel safe enough talking about in public and have the demons at bay so the trolls bullshit doesn't worry you then....please share.

(I'm speaking to everyone here)
*****************************************************************


How does the hot blonde story relate in any way to being taken advantage of? Yet recalling it immediately after your first post confuses the message delivered.

That confusion can have dire consequences with impressionable minds.

http://youtu.be/mKTh6P1Fx8I[/QUOTE]

****************************************************************

Not everyone here at Lit. knows me or how long I've hung around here.

Also the surest way to get this kind of conversation started with people you don't know, is to share something personal along the same lines of the subject. Not having forced anyone into sex or was physically forced myself...I shared something along the same general subject to get the thread jump started.

And it worked.

Sorry if it freaked you or anyone else out.
****************************************************************

Hmm... well, for the sake of the discussion being more reasoned from here, I guess we'll cut you some slack, but seriously, we don't need slapped in the face at Lit to get a convo going! You still haven't explained why you posted that second piece: can you clarify that?

NightL said:

How does the hot blonde story relate in any way to being taken advantage of? Yet recalling it immediately after your first post confuses the message delivered.

http://youtu.be/mKTh6P1Fx8I

Click to expand...

Thanks for the YouTube link NightL - that's a great speech

stickygirl said:

Hmm... well, for the sake of the discussion being more reasoned from here, I guess we'll cut you some slack, but seriously, we don't need slapped in the face at Lit to get a convo going! You still haven't explained why you posted that second piece: can you clarify that?

Thanks for the YouTube link NightL - that's a great speech

Click to expand...

OK. I'm lost here. What part of this did you not understand?

"Also the surest way to get this kind of conversation started with people you don't know, is to share something personal along the same lines of the subject. Not having forced anyone into sex or was physically forced myself...I shared something along the same general subject to get the thread jump started.

And it worked."


The thread was stillborn. If someone starts a thread on a sensitive subject and it freezes they should add something to trigger a response... good or bad.

I was hoping for more postings on the subject matter...

Seriously, I don't know how else to explain it.

So I'm done.

For my perspective you raised a very clear subject matter of rape, but then followed it with a boys own adventure where the only victim(s), that anyone reading the story would assume to be, were the rest of your friends in the car. No one would view either you and especially not the woman who initiated the event as victims.

You were totally in the position to stop the event if you wished, you chose not to. To somehow associate that event with that of rape "is to share something personal along the same lines of the subject" is careless, irresponsible and highly disrespectful to victims of rape. I honestly can not see how hot blonde (and even using those words in this context is so dangerous) can be thought of as any where "along the same lines of the subject" of RAPE.

You are inadvertently giving some young bozo the impression "Oh - this is alight - it fits in to the grey area of interpretation".

The other side of this comment is that it seems like you are seeking gratuitous slap 'da man on his back for his back seat romp.

The effect of this FGB is that you have just put your penis on the block and have started handing out knives and mallets while grinning from ear to ear.

I feel that I have enough understanding of you to know that this must surely not be your intention - but for me your wording and structure of all this so very much tips this thread into creepy land. To be honest I thought someone must have hacked your account.

If stickygirl feels the same as I, we are asking can you please explain the correlation way more clearly. Right now I am nothing short of baffled - actually shocked.

FGB said:

Also the surest way to get this kind of conversation started with people you don't know, is to share something personal along the same lines of the subject.

Click to expand...

Why are you so keen though that "this kind of conversation" is started on a porn board?

I don't mean to discount your impression of your experience, but I'm not sure that the thread "worked." Essentially, you opened a controversial topic where, in one post, you indicate that "no is no" and in the very next post used an example of a 3 week fling with an insatiable hot blonde.

If you want to discuss rape, that's valid. I think that it's a little unrealistic to presume that people who have experienced that kind of trauma want to place their experiences on a board where it could be misinterpreted as something erotic.

I never miss an opportunity to take advantage of myself when I'm drunk or high.

Felix_Jones said:

I never miss an opportunity to take advantage of myself when I'm drunk or high.

Click to expand...

I just had to pass along the smile that this gave me.