Femdom F/m stories that female dominants actually like?

'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.'

Stella_Omega said:

yes, using the adjective instead of the noun is a little bit of an insult to the personhood of the person. Come to think of it, most pejoratives, like the "N' word, are descriptors instead of nouns-- that might be why "POC"/"person of color" (which allows the person to BE a person) is more "politically correct."

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Sure.

Stella_Omega said:

yes, please "woman" and "man," in general. "submissive man" "submissive woman" both describe an aspect of the man or woman. "Male submissive" "female submissive" both describe the submissive, who is understood to be human.

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Still a bit confused. So, we're talking a general dislike surrounding the use of female/male? Not disapproval for the incorrect use of the adjective in place of the noun? (Since female/male can be used as either adjectives or nouns.)

Not trying to quibble, just trying to grasp your point. Which is apparently a little too subtle for me!

Endless_Night said:

Sure.

Still a bit confused. So, we're talking a general dislike surrounding the use of female/male? Not disapproval for the incorrect use of the adjective in place of the noun? (Since female/male can be used as either adjectives or nouns.)

Not trying to quibble, just trying to grasp your point. Which is apparently a little too subtle for me!

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We are talking about disapproval for the incorrect use of the adjective instead of the noun.

Endless_Night said:

This, not so much. I get the general obnoxiousness of both women/females being derived from men/males. But why is "women" more politically correct than "females"? Because it focuses on procreation and is less human specific (more clinical)? In that case, its both the male/female term that are alienating? Right???

Can't say either set of words trip any personal triggers for me. But, as a woman/female, I sort of feel I should *get* the issue.

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Like Stella says, it's alienating because it reduces/removes the individual's humanity and refers instead to their anatomy. (Which, given the existence of intersex people, is also a bad way to go about things.) It is possible to have female genitals, a typical female hormone profile, female secondary sex characteristics, and not be a woman. (Like myself! I'm married to a heterosexual man, but he understands our relationship to not be hetero because we're not a man/woman couple, even though I still see a OBGYN.)

I can't think of any other term for a set of people that refers solely to their bodies or anatomical features that isn't at least marginally disrespectful.

And, again-- because this thread was from someone who hopes to attract *dominant* women-- you would think that he would be glad to learn how not to disrespect any that might be listening.

You know, just in case.

Wow this thread took an interesting turn.

Stella_Omega said:

And, again-- because this thread was from someone who hopes to attract *dominant* women-- you would think that he would be glad to learn how not to disrespect any that might be listening.

You know, just in case.

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Yes. Stella is super right. Not just right... super right lol

Without getting into gender identity issues.... since it seems some are confused

Woman= female HUMAN
Female= could be anything with female parts

I mean you don't refer to your cat as a woman cat, right?
Calling us "females" is dehumanizing.

And to the OP, all this discussion was intended to HELP you. No need to get your panties in a wad.


Also, I've noticed men referring to women as "females" more and more. Especially here on Lit, Fet, and dating sites. Not completely sure if I'm just noticing it more or it is happening more?

Loverskitten said:

Wow this thread took an interesting turn.



Yes. Stella is super right. Not just right... super right lol

Without getting into gender identity issues.... since it seems some are confused

Woman= female HUMAN
Female= could be anything with female parts

I mean you don't refer to your cat as a woman cat, right?
Calling us "females" is dehumanizing.

And to the OP, all this discussion was intended to HELP you. No need to get your panties in a wad.


Also, I've noticed men referring to women as "females" more and more. Especially here on Lit, Fet, and dating sites. Not completely sure if I'm just noticing it more or it is happening more?

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I've noticed this happening a lot too in all sorts of places. Seems like there's a growing allergy to the word "woman". Wonder why that is.

Stella_Omega said:

And, again-- because this thread was from someone who hopes to attract *dominant* women-- you would think that he would be glad to learn how not to disrespect any that might be listening.

You know, just in case.

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I never said I wanted to attract dominant women. I simply asked for dominant women to share with me what type of F/m stories (if any) they might enjoy. To the best of my knowledge, not one woman has answered that question. Instead, I've been treated to a condescending and unsolicited lecture about the trivial semantics of gender classification.

Loverskitten said:

Wow this thread took an interesting turn.

Yes. Stella is super right. Not just right... super right lol

Without getting into gender identity issues.... since it seems some are confused

Woman= female HUMAN
Female= could be anything with female parts

I mean you don't refer to your cat as a woman cat, right?
Calling us "females" is dehumanizing.

And to the OP, all this discussion was intended to HELP you. No need to get your panties in a wad.


Also, I've noticed men referring to women as "females" more and more. Especially here on Lit, Fet, and dating sites. Not completely sure if I'm just noticing it more or it is happening more?

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Oh? So you're saying I should be grateful for all this intellectually masturbatory brow-beating. Oh my, wherever ARE my manners?

Ironically, this thread, and the bizarre turn it's taken, has given me quite an education in how certain people do approach this subject. Not exactly what I asked for, but it's proven to be quite an expedient lesson in how some of you think. Thank you. I prefer that to having to spend one more agonizing second than is needed in learning just how truly close-minded and abusively pedantic some of you are.

Why should dominant women do your bidding? And We thought you had left already-- were just talking amongst ourselves. Not trying to teach you anything.

Hmm. Well, have you read any of my stories?

There should be some around here somewhere, I think, although I haven't posted anywhere for a while.


I'll post some more. Soon. But right now I'm trying to sort out a particular book vendor who shall be nameless... (mainly because I'm so annoyed with them and there aren't enough words with f and b and c and p - etc - to describe them properly) who have just removed THOUSANDS of erotic books, many of them Femdom, from their ebook store.

On another topic....

Did you know what you don't have to buy from the Kindle store to read ebooks on a Kindle? Many other retailers offer the facility to get the books onto a Kindle. AND MANY OTHER RETAILERS DON'T GO REMOVING ALL THE BOOKS BECAUSE THEY'RE A LITTLE STEAMY.

Grrrrrr....


Susan Strict

KoPilot said:

Like Stella says, it's alienating because it reduces/removes the individual's humanity and refers instead to their anatomy. (Which, given the existence of intersex people, is also a bad way to go about things.) It is possible to have female genitals, a typical female hormone profile, female secondary sex characteristics, and not be a woman. (Like myself! I'm married to a heterosexual man, but he understands our relationship to not be hetero because we're not a man/woman couple, even though I still see a OBGYN.)

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Ahhh. Thank you for the clarification. The intersex perspective "clicked" it for me.

Still can't say the use of the "female" label makes me feel particularly dehumanized or degraded. However, I appreciate the distinction.


*Autocorrect doesn't seem particularly intersex friendly, either. It keeps changing intersex to interest! Or it may just be that I haven't quite mastered my new Apple laptop.

Susan Strict said:

I'll post some more. Soon. But right now I'm trying to sort out a particular book vendor who shall be nameless... (mainly because I'm so annoyed with them and there aren't enough words with f and b and c and p - etc - to describe them properly) who have just removed THOUSANDS of erotic books, many of them Femdom, from their ebook store.

Susan Strict

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Seriously? Clearly they haven't picked up any mainstream romance recently. The last one I picked up should have had a plain brown wrapper!

Susan Strict said:

Hmm. Well, have you read any of my stories?

There should be some around here somewhere, I think, although I haven't posted anywhere for a while.


I'll post some more. Soon. But right now I'm trying to sort out a particular book vendor who shall be nameless... (mainly because I'm so annoyed with them and there aren't enough words with f and b and c and p - etc - to describe them properly) who have just removed THOUSANDS of erotic books, many of them Femdom, from their ebook store.

On another topic....

Did you know what you don't have to buy from the Kindle store to read ebooks on a Kindle? Many other retailers offer the facility to get the books onto a Kindle. AND MANY OTHER RETAILERS DON'T GO REMOVING ALL THE BOOKS BECAUSE THEY'RE A LITTLE STEAMY.

Grrrrrr....


Susan Strict

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If you're talking about Amazon, Jeff Bezos doesn't really give a shit about books.

*Autocorrect doesn't seem particularly intersex friendly, either. It keeps changing intersex to interest! Or it may just be that I haven't quite mastered my new Apple laptop.

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1) Disable autocorrect. 2) If you're using Safari, download Firefox. 3) Right click to get the suggested spelling for the tagged word, and choose "Add to dictionary" from the list.

(Firefox thinks that 'autocorrect' is wrong!)

liv2srv said:

I never said I wanted to attract dominant women. I simply asked for dominant women to share with me what type of F/m stories (if any) they might enjoy. To the best of my knowledge, not one woman has answered that question. Instead, I've been treated to a condescending and unsolicited lecture about the trivial semantics of gender classification.



<snip>

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I know nothing of how the mind of a submissive man works, but I should think that if one were to identify as a submissive man then it would be of interest to him, by definition, to attract at least one dominant woman.

What am I missing here?

Stella_Omega said:

1) Disable autocorrect. 2) If you're using Safari, download Firefox. 3) Right click to get the suggested spelling for the tagged word, and choose "Add to dictionary" from the list.

(Firefox thinks that 'autocorrect' is wrong!)

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Thanks for the suggestions. I'm going back to Firefox. Disabling autocorrect is unattractive, as it does catch errors. Unfortunately, Safari's AC seems to be on steroids! I'm liking the Apple on the whole (my first), but it does have its little idiosyncrasies....

midwestyankee said:

I know nothing of how the mind of a submissive man works, but I should think that if one were to identify as a submissive man then it would be of interest to him, by definition, to attract at least one dominant woman.

What am I missing here?

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Huge chips on the shoulders.

liv2srv said:

I never said I wanted to attract dominant women. I simply asked for dominant women to share with me what type of F/m stories (if any) they might enjoy. To the best of my knowledge, not one woman has answered that question. Instead, I've been treated to a condescending and unsolicited lecture about the trivial semantics of gender classification.

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If properly understanding the subtleties of gender is below you, why bother even specifying "woman" or "female" at all? It shouldn't matter what the gender of the dominant party should be for you, if you're so enlightened then.

midwestyankee said:

I know nothing of how the mind of a submissive man works, but I should think that if one were to identify as a submissive man then it would be of interest to him, by definition, to attract at least one dominant woman.

What am I missing here?

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He's not submissive. And nobody tells him what to do.

Someone else was, back there in the first posts, though...

So I guess, the mai question is back to; What kind of stories about female domination do women enjoy reading?

I know that I don't want to read about women who are cold and in complete control and wear leather corsets, bloody lipstick, and six inch heels. I am happiest when the dominant woman is empathic, inclined to rely on her sub's strength and skills once in a while, and in tune to her own needs as much as her partner's.

A couple years ago, the author's hangout talked about a missing archetype, which we called "Femme Vitale" meaning a woman who improves her possession's life, instead of ruining it like a femme fatale would.

So there's that. It doesn't mean that she isn't sadistic, even brutal, it's that she does no lasting harm.

Stella_Omega said:

I know that I don't want to read about women who are cold and in complete control and wear leather corsets, bloody lipstick, and six inch heels. I am happiest when the dominant woman is empathic, inclined to rely on her sub's strength and skills once in a while, and in tune to her own needs as much as her partner's.

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This is my problem with the vast majority of what I've read and watched. I know that I love and value my partner, and I have no desire to read about people being treated like dirt. I get that some people dig it, and I respect that, but it's not for me.

I also don't like "forced" feminazation, or "forced" bi, and they both seem to be big in that world.

I like respect, love, communication, and trust. And kinky sex.

Stella_Omega said:

He's not submissive. And nobody tells him what to do.

Someone else was, back there in the first posts, though...

So I guess, the mai question is back to; What kind of stories about female domination do women enjoy reading?

I know that I don't want to read about women who are cold and in complete control and wear leather corsets, bloody lipstick, and six inch heels. I am happiest when the dominant woman is empathic, inclined to rely on her sub's strength and skills once in a while, and in tune to her own needs as much as her partner's.

A couple years ago, the author's hangout talked about a missing archetype, which we called "Femme Vitale" meaning a woman who improves her possession's life, instead of ruining it like a femme fatale would.

So there's that. It doesn't mean that she isn't sadistic, even brutal, it's that she does no lasting harm.

Click to expand...

One where she isn't a cardboard cutout, or 'gets bored' and finds a mandom to fix her. She takes an interest in her sub's pleasure, but gets hers, too. She isn't obliged to switch. There's a genuine care and regard between the two partners.

In regards to the 'femme vitale' - could it be missing as an archetype because of the 'woman whose worth is beyond rubies'? That is, it's assumed that the woman works for the betterment of the man?

GrrlFriday said:

One where she isn't a cardboard cutout, or 'gets bored' and finds a mandom to fix her. She takes an interest in her sub's pleasure, but gets hers, too. She isn't obliged to switch. There's a genuine care and regard between the two partners.

In regards to the 'femme vitale' - could it be missing as an archetype because of the 'woman whose worth is beyond rubies'? That is, it's assumed that the woman works for the betterment of the man?

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probably, but that woman is assigned a worth... Our character, presumably, would assign worth upon her submissive, help them maintain it and grow more valuable.

And yeah-- I am sick of the notion that every dominant woman (or man, for that matter, but mostly women) is looking for the right dominant (man) to flip them. She might certainly want him to top her, of course.

The turn the thread's taken has made me think about what kinds of F/_ I'd enjoy reading, seeing as how my attraction to "bigger, badder, and bolder than me" people is definitely not limited to menfolk...

Not that I'm the one being asked, here!

But I am taking notes. :]

Loverskitten said:

Wow this thread took an interesting turn.

~snip~

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Whenever I wander over, I am struck by how many of these threads DO take interesting turns.

I popped over looking for the link to Stella's Essay for a post of mine in the Know-It-All oops I mean How-To Forum.

As a male man, but not a letter carrier, (even with some trans history) I don't have a lot to add to the above on the female/woman controversy. For some reason, I hear an articulate urban voice when I hear someone use "female" to denote a woman....

...and yes "urban" is code for black dude....For some reason I have heard it from time to time when I perceive that someone from an actual urban environment, think big city, USA is trying to sound a bit more polished than his neighborhood encouraged.

I always thought it sounded like aiming for overly polite and landing somewhere in awkward territory, but didn't consider the above as to why that was. I think my 'ear' didn't find it ringing true because "females" almost never call each other that...or "ladies" for all of the same reasons.

"Ladies" usually squicks me in a thread title. Often it is "Ladies, how many of you really like (insert decidedly not "lady-like" sounding behavior)

BEFORE I read all of the above I was already having my antennae twanged...

Relevant to Stella's Esssay, and the actual how-to post I was working on. I picked this one because I felt sure I would find Stella wandering about here.

As I read the initial exchanges in the thread....t just 'feels' wrong to me to have a "submissive" male reacting abrasively to fairly gentle (to me) suggestion/correction.

But of course, just because someone wishes to be topped, doesn't mean they have to like anything they perceive as humiliation, or that they don't like to control the discussion or the scene.

I think I need to go read Stella's essay to figure out what and if I just tried to say.

HuMANs are complicated. And interesting.

@query, there is actually a term in linguistic analysis for what you described as "someone ... is trying to sound a bit more polished than his neighborhood encouraged" and it's "hyperubanization."

Another example from my own experience: I was talking with a woman about her past experiences with BDSM and she constantly referred to all the various men she'd dated as "gentlemen." I've heard multiple others use similar language and there's one very clear constant: they're not particularly well educated and usually hail from the lower rungs of the blue-collar part of the social ladder.

It's definitely a matter of class and/or education and not at all a matter of urban vs. rural upbringing.

It's a marvelous vehicle for comedy. *nods*

My literary idol Damon Runyon was a master of that voice. And-- what do you know-- an omnibus is now available on Gutenberg!