26F Kink newb here in need of advice on several things

So I'm gonna be honest here. I am a 26 year old female virgin (please no snide comments, we're all adults here). I've got a guy who I'm texting/sexting/doing phone sex with. He's interested in a bit of kink , as am I. He seems more interested in the sub role than the dominant. I've got no probs there. (I'm actually discovering it's kind of fun to be the one in control.) I just have soooooo many questions. How to give a guy head (so I can accurately describe it). How to set the scenario for a roleplay situation on the phone (I'm usually flying by the seat of my pants). How to know when to take things further (though I'm pretty intuitive to that). The icky question of contraceptive (I am a virgin remember, I've currently had no reason recently to be on any kind of contraceptive). The list goes on and on.

thecatwho53 said:

So I'm gonna be honest here. I am a 26 year old female virgin (please no snide comments, we're all adults here). I've got a guy who I'm texting/sexting/doing phone sex with. He's interested in a bit of kink , as am I. He seems more interested in the sub role than the dominant. I've got no probs there. (I'm actually discovering it's kind of fun to be the one in control.) I just have soooooo many questions. How to give a guy head (so I can accurately describe it). How to set the scenario for a roleplay situation on the phone (I'm usually flying by the seat of my pants). How to know when to take things further (though I'm pretty intuitive to that). The icky question of contraceptive (I am a virgin remember, I've currently had no reason recently to be on any kind of contraceptive). The list goes on and on.

Click to expand...

Hi
PM me

If you haven't already found it, I think you would get more input if you put your question on the BDSM Forum. There's some really great ladies over there with the experience to help you. Best wishes, and happy learning!

Thank you. I had planned on stopping there next. I just know there are so many different things I'm wanting how-to tips and techniques on. I've already hit up the how-to category under the stories, and it's been somewhat helpful.

Leaving aside some of your other questions I get the impression that you're thinking about perhaps taking this to the real world. First time with a new partner tends to be a little bit awkward which is fine and partly the fun. I am strongly in favor of having a pretty good idea about how the other partner is wired Kink wise before and you're already well on your way that way. not just because this would be your first time for anything with anybody but also because it's your first time with that particular partner I would caution you about scheduling too much Kink at a time and try to let things flow organically. if you have an entire laundry list of things that need to get done during some particular session especially that's a first session I think you're going to find it somewhat disappointing. Or not. Best of luck.

thecatwho53 said:

So I'm gonna be honest here. I am a 26 year old female virgin (please no snide comments, we're all adults here). I've got a guy who I'm texting/sexting/doing phone sex with. He's interested in a bit of kink , as am I. He seems more interested in the sub role than the dominant. I've got no probs there. (I'm actually discovering it's kind of fun to be the one in control.) I just have soooooo many questions. How to give a guy head (so I can accurately describe it). How to set the scenario for a roleplay situation on the phone (I'm usually flying by the seat of my pants). How to know when to take things further (though I'm pretty intuitive to that). The icky question of contraceptive (I am a virgin remember, I've currently had no reason recently to be on any kind of contraceptive). The list goes on and on.

Click to expand...

Just reading some BDSM themed stories should give you plenty of fuel. Also, the internet is full of porn. If you can't find anything that suits your fancy, you're not looking hard enough.

Not sure why the contraception question is 'icky'. It's a reasonable thing to discuss with your partner regardless of how much sexual experience you have.

petes478 said:

Hi
PM me

Click to expand...

It's really helpful for the board to have this sort of discussion in thread instead of via PM - that way, if anybody else has similar questions later on, the discussion is available to them and not hidden in people's mailboxes.

Also, for a woman on an erotica board, going to PM in a hurry can be a bit nervous-making since way too many dudes do a bait-and-switch thing - acting like they want to discuss whatever the woman was talking about, and then as soon as the PM "discussion" starts, trying to turn it into HotSexyFunTimes. Which is skeevy and disrespectful.

(Nothing against consensual HotSexyFunTimes! Just against guys who start that sort of conversation under false pretenses.)

petes478 said:

Hi
PM me

Click to expand...

Oh hi pete...

No, it’s

Oh hi Mark...

a starter

If you two have discussed how kinky you want to get I suggest you take it slow. the fun is the journey not the destination. At the first meeting I like to sit and chat about what we both want and don't want. be honest and don't try to push your partners limits After the chat I lead her on a walk in public with my hand on her the back of her neck. leading the sub where I want to go. As we proceed I take a small lock of hair on the back of her neck a pull slightly. Leading her and increasing the pain in public, soon I lean in and whisper in her ear do you like that. If the answer is yes I increase the pain and ask again. once I am sure she is enjoying this I lead her to a semi private area facing a wall and slide my hand up her the front of her skirt taking my time to enjoy her arousal. that is the end of the first date no orgasm , no fucking just something for her to think about. Just something to think about

thecatwho53 said:

So I'm gonna be honest here. I am a 26 year old female virgin (please no snide comments, we're all adults here). I've got a guy who I'm texting/sexting/doing phone sex with. He's interested in a bit of kink , as am I. He seems more interested in the sub role than the dominant. I've got no probs there. (I'm actually discovering it's kind of fun to be the one in control.) I just have soooooo many questions. How to give a guy head (so I can accurately describe it). How to set the scenario for a roleplay situation on the phone (I'm usually flying by the seat of my pants). How to know when to take things further (though I'm pretty intuitive to that). The icky question of contraceptive (I am a virgin remember, I've currently had no reason recently to be on any kind of contraceptive). The list goes on and on.

Click to expand...

I’m 27. I lost my virginity last year. But I asked a lot of questions here when I was 25. I’ve got to say, you’re overthinking all of this. Things do not magically make sense after having sex. I can’t describe sex any better and I didn’t become an expert.

1. How to give a guy head?
- You can take someone else’s technique. At the end of the day, if your partner wants you to do it a certain way, wouldn’t that make more sense? Well, unless you’re fishing for “you’re really good at this for your first time.” The more important question is does the guy you’re giving head to have an STD. After that, does the guy like what you are doing? How can you improve? Not, well I have this one technique and if he doesn’t like it then he’s SOL.
2. How to set a scenario for a phone role play?
- Who is each person? where are you? Then use your imagination.
3. When to take things further?
Well you said you’ve got that and I don’t know how to answer this question.
4. contraceptive?
Go to your OB/Gyn, use a condom, or use nothing and see what happens. If you’re wondering who should buy the condoms. You need only ask yourself one question. Do I want to get pregnant? If yes, it doesn’t matter. If no, you don’t have to bring a condom. But don’t have sex if he doesn’t have one.

Other likely have better advice but we’re close in age so I decided to comment.

Contraceptive is more a matter of choice. I would not personally use the pill for that although if it were necessary for some other, medical reason, I might consider it. Probably still wouldn't do it though.

Condoms would be my choice but keep in mind they are not 100% effective. I also think they taste pretty bad. Even the so called flavored ones. Giving a guy a blow job with one on is no fun at all for me and I also don't like to give a blow job after he has had one on because he will taste like the condom. I always keep some wet wipes by the bed and using one of those on his cock will be quite helpful in removing the condom flavor. But... As the other poster said, you would need to be sure that he has no STD's if you're going to suck him without one.

I guess I am lucky in that I haven't had to use contraceptive for years. I was married for many years and prior to that, the guy I was with had a vasectomy.

There is no one way to give a blow job. You could try looking at some videos to give you some ideas. The problem is that what works well for one guy, might not work for another. And his size might affect things too. Remember that you don't just have to use your mouth unless that's what he prefers. You can use your hand or hands to stroke his cock while you suck it, or you can work your lips and tongue over the shaft while you use your fingers over the head. And don't forget his balls. Most men love having attention paid to their balls. It is usually a good idea to handle them gently and lovingly but if he is into kink, he might actually like rough play.

What you need to do is try different things and ask him for feedback. Most men do like it if you look into their eyes as you suck them and they also like to hear how good they taste. Also, unless he is into edging, you will probably want to start out with a little teasing then increase the speed and pressure, not letting up until he cums. Taking him close to the edge of orgasm then stopping because you're getting tired or backing off and doing something like merely licking or kissing his cock could leave him frustrated and you may find him grabbing at the back of your head, forcing you to do more. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. I do sometimes like that myself. Then again, if he is into edging, he may like you backing off. There are videos that show edging too so you can see what techniques might work there.

Writing to someone about what you might like to do to them sexually can be tough to do. I've had men write things to me that sound almost comical or most certainly wouldn't do a thing for me. For instance, some guy telling me that he wants to suck my toes or stick his tongue in my ear will kill my sex drive right away unless something better comes after that and I can quickly put that image out of my mind. So you might try asking him about the things that he likes to get a better feel for that.

As for the kink... There are so many possibilities. I would start out with an assortment of scarves. Try to get silky feeling ones although a few sheer ones won't hurt. Get a variety of sizes/lengths and at least one that you can put over his eyes as a blindfold.

You can use scarves in a variety of ways. They are great to use as restraints when starting out. Reason being unless you are some kind of master at knot tying, they are fairly easy for him to get out of if for some reason, he decides to freak. You can tie his legs apart and tie his hands spread out or over his head or whatever. Use one as a blindfold so he can't see what you are doing. Use one to run lightly over various parts of his body, including his cock. This works especially well if he is blindfolded. You can even wrap one lightly around his cock and use it to start to jack him off. Make sure it is a silky feeling one.

While he is tied up and blindfolded you can do some sensory things to him. Tell him you will be back then leave the room. Don't take too long but leave him alone for a least a couple of minutes. He may began to freak or panic and wonder what you are doing. Make some noises that may or may not relate to what will come next. Keep him guessing.

Bring back something hot/warm and something cold/icy. I wouldn't go as far as hot wax to begin with, but a soaked warm tea bag, an ice cube, cold water, even a warm washcloth are good things. Kama Sutra powder which is powdered honey that is applied with a feather duster is also a good sensation. Or you could use just a little honey. Remember to lick these things off or at least use a wet cloth to clean them so he doesn't stay sticky.

Experiment by touching or stroking various parts of his body with these things. Keep him guessing as to what might come next. Things with a scent are good too. A ripe strawberry, a little chocolate sauce... Again, remember to clean them off.

Also use things with texture. You probably don't want to inflict pain right off the bat. He may or may not like pain. You can use things like a chopstick, a metal spoon, a strand of beads, a stuffed animal, a small soft blanket, your panties. The list is endless. Don't start out hitting or poking or anything like that. Keep it sensual and try out things on various parts of his body, stroking him with the objects or even lightly tapping him. You can even use a little massage oil on him and work that into his skin. Be mindful of his cock and balls while you do this. You should probably not do too much in that area to begin with unless perhaps you tell him first. Try telling how much you want his cock and that you are going to kiss it or stroke it or whatever... But you probably want to keep these objects more on other parts of his body such as legs, arms and torso.

Another fun thing to do to him while he is tied up is to feed him your nipples or pussy. Nipples are easy enough to get into his mouth but you'll have to straddle his face for him to get at your pussy. Be careful and make sure that he has room to breathe and only do it briefly at first to get a feel for whether he likes it or not.