Quick vignette

LaRascasse

I dream, therefore I am
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
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It came to me and just as soon, was written and submitted. It's under Romance. Let me know what you think.

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-greater-good

A point which the commentors have raised is how it feels unfinished and there's more story to tell. While I do not dispute that, the objective here was to imply the larger story and leave the possibilities open to the reader.

What is your take?
 
Stories that leave some things open to interpretation are a huge favorite of mine, and I LOVED the way you handled the end.

I thought the sex was your best, though I would be hard pressed to say why. Something about how... present the characters both are? Maybe?

I loved the way you hinted at coming circumstances, and the way you painted such a long-standing argument between the characters very briefly. BEcause that's how it is when you have an argument enough times. You try to shortcut the other person with the thing you think ends it.

I loved it all.
 
Stories that leave some things open to interpretation are a huge favorite of mine, and I LOVED the way you handled the end.

I thought the sex was your best, though I would be hard pressed to say why. Something about how... present the characters both are? Maybe?

I loved the way you hinted at coming circumstances, and the way you painted such a long-standing argument between the characters very briefly. BEcause that's how it is when you have an argument enough times. You try to shortcut the other person with the thing you think ends it.

I loved it all.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, AwkwardMD.
 
I loved the story.

For it's brevity, this story has many interesting facets and layers, not the least of which is the character's shared history. The characters each have their distinct personalities, yet are able to share their grief, love, and feelings of loss. While the story stands on it's own, I would welcome an expanded vignette, or even a series.
 
I don't think it's unfinished. It's a nicely structured very short story. The writing style is excellent.
My only criticism is that the conversation about the icc, Carrie and Sam is a bit too long and laboured, relatively. The key points could have been covered more concisely, I think.
 
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