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Old 07-07-2018, 09:43 AM   #1
LWulf
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LWulf is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Helium, Barsoom
Posts: 8,859
Critique/Feedback for Techno Tanya

This is my third story submitted here. It wrote out in a day, took of a month of rewrites, reviewed once.
It was intended for this to be a auditory story, and was trying to procure a professional Voice Actor (VA) to provide voices, etc, but that part of it fell through.

Story: Techno Tanya
Author: LWulf
Editor: (none officially)
Description: Futuristic troubled girl looks for alternative sex solutions
Setting: ~100 years in the Future
Word Count: 5, 644
Length: 2 Literotica pages
Subject: Futuristic troubled girl looks for alternative sex solutions
Type of Critique Wanted:
  • first is whether the story flow or pace seems smooth and not too slow/quick
  • second if I described the concept of "sub-space" well enough (BDSM reference)
  • after that, any constructive feedback
Story tags:
  • futuristic
  • mechanical tentacles
  • vaginal penetration
  • autoerotica (masturbation via mechanical means)
  • light comedy
  • X/f spanking
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