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SassyButShy said:

He's not cheating. He's simply not that motivated. It used to bother his exes because he was so passive. People who've known him all his life frequently comment how far he has come to life since we got together 11 years ago. He's had a very hard life and he found his resilience to endure it all by just not engaging. He's not a bad person. Very kind, a hard worker, we've got each other's back when it comes to the care taking needs of our aging family members, we laugh and play a lot. It's just that part is gone. But no, I'm not in denial. He's not cheating. Loyalty is important to him.

I don't want my marriage to die. I can't abandon him for this. Impotence is an illness and our vow is "in sickness and in health." Maybe I'm the one being selfish here. When we had that physical intimacy, it was so wonderful. I felt beautiful and loved. I miss that.

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SassyButShy said:

We lived together five years before getting married. We got married before he deployed. He did two years. Sorry you don't like the math.

I married him at city hall before he deployed vs waiting until he got back so we could have a fancy wedding because I wanted to prove my point I'd be by his side no matter what. He had been in several combat zones as a lone rider and survived that he was superstitious tgat now he had someone to come home to -- something terrible would happen and he wouldn't come back in one piece.

I said I'd love him no matter what. And I married him four days before he left. Well I thought he had come home in one piece, but apparently it was the inside that might have been broken. I've gained a great deal of insight from so many of the men who've posted here and generously shared their own issues.

Bottom line ... I said in sickness and in health. I'm going to try to get the right help, but I'm hanging in there.

Thank you.

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