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Old 09-17-2008, 11:03 PM   #5101
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Thanks. Lots of stuff going on lately
{{hugs}}



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just checking in. im missing Master pretty badly today. i cant wait to see him again under less trying circumstances.

in other news im feeling better. bandages came off last night and i can see the scar on my chest. happily its not too big or noticible.
Glad to hear you are doing better and {{hugs}} for missing your Master.
As for the scar ... I think they are sexy

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Old 09-17-2008, 11:31 PM   #5102
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Glad to hear you are doing better and {{hugs}} for missing your Master.
As for the scar ... I think they are sexy

I dig some scars too. I saw a t-shir tthat I nearly bought that said "Tattoos are just scars without the cool story"
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Old 09-18-2008, 10:52 AM   #5103
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First off, I really want to thank all of you for being so open and willing to discuss this stuff on this board. I've been lurking on here for about a week and this thread finally compelled me to register.

I recently reunited with my "one that got away" - we're currently doing the LDR thing until December when I move out there (a couple states away). In the course of us talking and enjoying what sort of intimacy a couple can that lives several states apart, she told me she wanted to give all of herself to me and submit. I've never been involved in this level of a relationship before and neither has she, and quite frankly I didn't think I had the "dom" thing in me really but after a while started to really enjoy it quite a bit! She pointed me to this forum and I've been reading a bit about what it all means, what she's feeling and what I'm feeling and it's helped quite a bit in making sense of it all (sometimes the emotions can be a bit overwhelming when it's all so new and a bit different).

This thread in particular has been a bit of a life saver for me. It's helped me understand better what she's going through emotionally - and it's taught me that I really need to be patient and understanding, that what she's going through is perfectly normal for someone in our situation. All of this has brought us so much closer together, I'm very excited for December!



-LFO
 

Old 09-18-2008, 12:13 PM   #5104
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First off, I really want to thank all of you for being so open and willing to discuss this stuff on this board. I've been lurking on here for about a week and this thread finally compelled me to register.

I recently reunited with my "one that got away" - we're currently doing the LDR thing until December when I move out there (a couple states away). In the course of us talking and enjoying what sort of intimacy a couple can that lives several states apart, she told me she wanted to give all of herself to me and submit. I've never been involved in this level of a relationship before and neither has she, and quite frankly I didn't think I had the "dom" thing in me really but after a while started to really enjoy it quite a bit! She pointed me to this forum and I've been reading a bit about what it all means, what she's feeling and what I'm feeling and it's helped quite a bit in making sense of it all (sometimes the emotions can be a bit overwhelming when it's all so new and a bit different).

This thread in particular has been a bit of a life saver for me. It's helped me understand better what she's going through emotionally - and it's taught me that I really need to be patient and understanding, that what she's going through is perfectly normal for someone in our situation. All of this has brought us so much closer together, I'm very excited for December!



-LFO

I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I give you a big warm welcome and am glad we have been of help.

I haven't been a part of the "scene" for too long, just over two years, and so, I'd love to share any of my recently gleaned experience if you wish. feel free to drop me a PM at any time. Good luck, and the best of wishes
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Old 09-18-2008, 02:32 PM   #5105
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I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I give you a big warm welcome and am glad we have been of help.

I haven't been a part of the "scene" fro too long, just over two years, and so, I'd love to share any of my recently bleaned experience if you wish. feel free to drop me a PM at any time. Good luck, and the best of wishes

Thank you!
 

Old 09-18-2008, 03:11 PM   #5106
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You're most welcome LFO
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:31 PM   #5107
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I am not even sure what to say except that I need my A. more than words can say...

Not my best days lately. I find myself in a very low mood. The "LEAVE ME ALONE EVERYONE. PLEASE..." mood. I am insecure about anything everything. I am grumpy and teary, crying because of every little thing and I am deffo not the best company atm. My emotions are all over the place and I tend to be depressed very often, every day really. Kinda sucks!

I crave A.'s company real bad and panic when he's not around at usual time. And then when he's actualy around I am missing words and feel like idiot because I dunno what to say or how to say it. So I am quiet a lot sometimes. I am very quiet person in real life. So quiet its boring I would say. Its weird to need someone this much and then when he's around miss the right words that would express how I feel or whats on my mind.

We play this World of Warcraft game together lately and however silly it sounds, I love I can kneel at his feets in that game. You would prolly laugh, but it makes me feel peaceful. Silly things with deeper meaning. At least for me. Not much I can do when he's there and me here, but when we play WoW I can. Can do what I need to do, at least virtualy. Cant feel touch of his hand or see his smile, but the gesture of me kneeling at his feets is nice. A. often jokes that I love the kneeling A LOT. And he's right, I do. I've spent lots of nights crying wishing he were here playing the WoW on my PC, so I could kneel at his feets for real. Could spend whole night like that. Just kneeling at his feets, with my head resting on his lap. That would be nice. sigh

I hate I am this emotional fuck!!
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Old 09-20-2008, 08:06 PM   #5108
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Originally Posted by BiaTcHiNFiRe View Post
I am not even sure what to say except that I need my A. more than words can say...

Not my best days lately. I find myself in a very low mood. The "LEAVE ME ALONE EVERYONE. PLEASE..." mood. I am insecure about anything everything. I am grumpy and teary, crying because of every little thing and I am deffo not the best company atm. My emotions are all over the place and I tend to be depressed very often, every day really. Kinda sucks!

I crave A.'s company real bad and panic when he's not around at usual time. And then when he's actualy around I am missing words and feel like idiot because I dunno what to say or how to say it. So I am quiet a lot sometimes. I am very quiet person in real life. So quiet its boring I would say. Its weird to need someone this much and then when he's around miss the right words that would express how I feel or whats on my mind.

We play this World of Warcraft game together lately and however silly it sounds, I love I can kneel at his feets in that game. You would prolly laugh, but it makes me feel peaceful. Silly things with deeper meaning. At least for me. Not much I can do when he's there and me here, but when we play WoW I can. Can do what I need to do, at least virtualy. Cant feel touch of his hand or see his smile, but the gesture of me kneeling at his feets is nice. A. often jokes that I love the kneeling A LOT. And he's right, I do. I've spent lots of nights crying wishing he were here playing the WoW on my PC, so I could kneel at his feets for real. Could spend whole night like that. Just kneeling at his feets, with my head resting on his lap. That would be nice. sigh

I hate I am this emotional fuck!!

I understand this. It's not silly. It's a truly beautifull sentiment. I touches the hopeless romantic in me.

You have my sincerest hopes that you will find a way to feel less depressed. until then, *hugs* you know we're always here for support
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Old 09-21-2008, 02:30 AM   #5109
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I understand this. It's not silly. It's a truly beautifull sentiment. I touches the hopeless romantic in me.

You have my sincerest hopes that you will find a way to feel less depressed. until then, *hugs* you know we're always here for support
Thank you Toa_lin.
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Old 09-21-2008, 03:08 AM   #5110
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Thank you Toa_lin.
of course
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Old 09-22-2008, 10:16 AM   #5111
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Unhappy

I hate long-distance. I feel like its starting to wear on me. A few insecurities are surfacing and I feel like I seem crazy. Now I just seem like a bad person and I am pushing my boyfriend away. At the same time, I feel like my feelings are not being listened to at all and I am being completely disregarded. Ugh. I am so depressed right now.
 

Old 09-22-2008, 10:26 AM   #5112
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I hate long-distance. I feel like its starting to wear on me. A few insecurities are surfacing and I feel like I seem crazy. Now I just seem like a bad person and I am pushing my boyfriend away. At the same time, I feel like my feelings are not being listened to at all and I am being completely disregarded. Ugh. I am so depressed right now.
Aww honey {hug}

I know how that feels. I've not seen my boyfriend since the end of May and I miss him like mad, but he's been going through some crap in his life and I can't be there to support him through it.

That kills me more than anyone will ever know.
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Old 09-22-2008, 12:15 PM   #5113
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I got over my jealousy and insecurities a long time ago. This long-distance thing has provoked it a couple of times. No, I do not think he has or ever will cheat. I have, however, accused him of lying and a few other things. In my mind, I was scared and I just let my emotions get the best of me. I would not normally do this. I think its the stress of long-distance. Are any of you going through the same thing?
 

Old 09-22-2008, 12:16 PM   #5114
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I got over my jealousy and insecurities a long time ago. This long-distance thing has provoked it a couple of times. No, I do not think he has or ever will cheat. I have, however, accused him of lying and a few other things. In my mind, I was scared and I just let my emotions get the best of me. I would not normally do this. I think its the stress of long-distance. Are any of you going through the same thing?
Not anymore. But i went through it a few times in the past two years. Its a killer, but it'll pass again.
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Old 09-22-2008, 12:59 PM   #5115
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I got over my jealousy and insecurities a long time ago. This long-distance thing has provoked it a couple of times. No, I do not think he has or ever will cheat. I have, however, accused him of lying and a few other things. In my mind, I was scared and I just let my emotions get the best of me. I would not normally do this. I think its the stress of long-distance. Are any of you going through the same thing?
God yes. I have trouble with insecurities when it comes to my little girl.

You just have to remember they are YOUR insecurities. Just try to focus on all the things they do/say that show you they will not cheat or hurt you instead of letting your insecurity get the best of you.
 

Old 09-22-2008, 01:53 PM   #5116
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You just have to remember they are YOUR insecurities.
This is key. These problems sound to be internal with you. You need to own your damage and stop projecting. Your partner can be the most loving, understanding chap in the world, and your own insecurities and issues can still undermine your relationship.

MIS is a long ways away from me right now, surrounded by guys that are younger than I am, in better shape, and not 500+ miles away. Does it worry me? I would be a liar if I said that I never worry, but I trust her, and trust her implicitly. Why? Because I do. She has given me every reason to trust her, and no reason not to. We have a solid, loving, close relationship, and my own insecurties are well in hand.

I accept my own insecurities and image issues. I accept the stress that distance causes. I hate it, but I won't project my anxieties onto her.

If you can't suss this out yourself, do you have access to a therapist or counselor? If you are worried about the kink issues, check the KAP list on NCSF's site for practitioners near you.
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I am not usually one for titles. In my world, titles are reserved for relationships.
Millificent (aka "viv") and myinnerslut both call me "Master".
You can call me "Homburg". Still accepting Rope Bunny applications, of course.

Disclaimer: Live your life how you want to live. Be secure enough in what you do that _my_ words won't affect you. Because my opinion has no material meaning in your life beyond what you let it have.
 

Old 09-22-2008, 02:39 PM   #5117
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I got over my jealousy and insecurities a long time ago. This long-distance thing has provoked it a couple of times. No, I do not think he has or ever will cheat. I have, however, accused him of lying and a few other things. In my mind, I was scared and I just let my emotions get the best of me. I would not normally do this. I think its the stress of long-distance. Are any of you going through the same thing?
When I went thru jelousy and mistrust it actually had very little to do with him and everything to do with the relationship I had just gotten out of. I transposed feelings from that previous relationship onto him. I had to get over that for us to stay strong. Then we also had the added complication that we played outside of our relationship. It seemed like the logical thing to do as it didn't seem like we would ever be able to be face to face. It was hard knowing that some one else was getting time with him when I wasn't, but that too passed as I began to really see how important I was to him and how much he values our relationship.

I've never once thought he was lying to me, but I never think any one is lying to me.

Anyway, my point is, that it wasn't until I became secure in the relationship that these things passed. Now, even if he did see another girl, I wouldn't be threatened by it becuase I know what we have goes beyond what any one else will ever have with him. For the record tho we've stopped having out side encounters by his request, and I'm quite happy at that choice as well.

Tomorrow will be 3 years since he first accepted my submission, and 9 days after that I will be flying out (15 hours total travel time) to spend our first moments together. We've held strong because we trust each other so much. It's not so much that we don't think the other person will never do something damaging to the relationship, but that we know if it did happen, the other wouldn't hide it. We would talk about it and work thru it, which in my eyes is a much better idea than just expecting them not to do something and then assuming the worst.
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Old 09-22-2008, 03:02 PM   #5118
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just checking in. im missing Master pretty badly today. i cant wait to see him again under less trying circumstances.

in other news im feeling better. bandages came off last night and i can see the scar on my chest. happily its not too big or noticible.
Mis, i am glad you made it through ok. There were a lot of prayers and best wishes going around for you.

And hon, just think of the scar this way; it is a proud sign that you have gotten past things that belong in the past. And you are moving forward, in the right direction; with Homburg and viv.

The love shown from their posts is a good direction to move forwards toward.

(Hugs)
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Old 09-22-2008, 03:33 PM   #5119
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Thanks for the responses. I really appreciate it!

I talked things out with him. I actually do see a counselor (for anxiety), so I am going to work it out with my counselor. He is an amazing man. He deserves only the best. He deserves my trust and should not have to settle for anything else. He will be here in two months and we will never have to do this long-distance thing again!
 

Old 09-22-2008, 04:42 PM   #5120
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ES, I know that feeling of "life gets in the way" all to well. (see previous posts) and I hope things get much better for you two very soon. Best of hopes. *hugs*

Sorry, I just saw this now. Thank you! We have just accepted the fact that this is the way life is going to be for a while and just make the best of things.

Big <<Hugs>> back at you
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Old 09-22-2008, 06:25 PM   #5121
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Sorry, I just saw this now. Thank you! We have just accepted the fact that this is the way life is going to be for a while and just make the best of things.

Big <<Hugs>> back at you
it's fine. and that's good news.

thank you for the hugs
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Old 09-23-2008, 03:04 PM   #5122
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Just a quickie:

He has home. I have been in the company of my boy for the last 12 days and have nearly as long left before he must leave again. It is bliss. These moments together make every hard day apart melt away like a bad dream. He is home and life is whole again.

Oh. And he bought me an engagement ring


*hugs* to everyone who is still apart -- may your time together arrive swiftly!
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Old 09-23-2008, 03:24 PM   #5123
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Just a quickie:

He has home. I have been in the company of my boy for the last 12 days and have nearly as long left before he must leave again. It is bliss. These moments together make every hard day apart melt away like a bad dream. He is home and life is whole again.

Oh. And he bought me an engagement ring


*hugs* to everyone who is still apart -- may your time together arrive swiftly!
I will make the assumption the answer was yes. Let me be the first to congratulate you both and wish you all the happiness.
 

Old 09-23-2008, 03:27 PM   #5124
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Just a quickie:

He has home. I have been in the company of my boy for the last 12 days and have nearly as long left before he must leave again. It is bliss. These moments together make every hard day apart melt away like a bad dream. He is home and life is whole again.

Oh. And he bought me an engagement ring


*hugs* to everyone who is still apart -- may your time together arrive swiftly!

Congratulations!!
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Old 09-23-2008, 03:41 PM   #5125
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Originally Posted by kittenartist View Post
Just a quickie:

He has home. I have been in the company of my boy for the last 12 days and have nearly as long left before he must leave again. It is bliss. These moments together make every hard day apart melt away like a bad dream. He is home and life is whole again.

Oh. And he bought me an engagement ring


*hugs* to everyone who is still apart -- may your time together arrive swiftly!
Big congrats!! WooT!
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I am not usually one for titles. In my world, titles are reserved for relationships.
Millificent (aka "viv") and myinnerslut both call me "Master".
You can call me "Homburg". Still accepting Rope Bunny applications, of course.

Disclaimer: Live your life how you want to live. Be secure enough in what you do that _my_ words won't affect you. Because my opinion has no material meaning in your life beyond what you let it have.
 
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