seela
Quark Thief
- Joined
- May 14, 2010
- Posts
- 9,814
The discussion in the emotional sadomasochism thread prompted me to finally start this thread that I've been thinking about off and on for years. What can I say, the procrastination is truly strong with me. And I've been uncharacteristically active on Lit recently, so this feels like a good time.
Consent is no doubt the key element that makes BDSM different from abuse. But does it matter to you what the origin of the consent is? I'm not talking about someone coercing another to give consent -- coerced consent is hardly consent, unless you've consented to being coerced, which kind of renders this whole dilemma moot -- but rather about the internal motivations behind someone giving consent.
Is all consent equal? Say, for example, can someone with a lifetime of conditioning to believe they're truly worth less than other people give consent to be hurt and humiliated? Should the fact that they might have never even entertained the thought of saying no be taken into account when negotiating playing with them?
Does the origin of consent matter to you? If it does, what is "good consent" and "bad consent" to you? How do you take it into account when negotiating with or first getting to know someone?
The origin of my consent to certain types of play and kinks has been questioned sometimes, and it's left me wondering. I don't have answers, but I'm interested in hearing what you guys think.
Consent is no doubt the key element that makes BDSM different from abuse. But does it matter to you what the origin of the consent is? I'm not talking about someone coercing another to give consent -- coerced consent is hardly consent, unless you've consented to being coerced, which kind of renders this whole dilemma moot -- but rather about the internal motivations behind someone giving consent.
Is all consent equal? Say, for example, can someone with a lifetime of conditioning to believe they're truly worth less than other people give consent to be hurt and humiliated? Should the fact that they might have never even entertained the thought of saying no be taken into account when negotiating playing with them?
Does the origin of consent matter to you? If it does, what is "good consent" and "bad consent" to you? How do you take it into account when negotiating with or first getting to know someone?
The origin of my consent to certain types of play and kinks has been questioned sometimes, and it's left me wondering. I don't have answers, but I'm interested in hearing what you guys think.
Last edited: