heavyhitter01
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2010
- Posts
- 443
Thank you. I appreciate that.
How to make amends?
- Thread starter The_Librarian
- Start date
Thank you. I appreciate that.
I see you have no pm's so I'm contacting you here. I'm afraid you got pushed away from my thread and I wanted to say I was sorry. Don't let it keep you away or if you want to pm me, feel free. I didn't think you were there for attention. We all handle things differently. Hope you see this.
bailadora
We create the dreams.
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2007
- Posts
- 3,855
My friend has learned from his actions. Obviously little ms_intrigue has not. It's time she did.
It involves me because someone has to stop her. My friends are good people, and so they won't do it.
But I'm not as good a person as they are.
Won't or maybe don't want to.
I can't speak for your friends, but if someone decided to take matters into their own hands on my "behalf", after I'd decided to let it go (for whatever reason), I'd be pissed as hell. It sure as hell would make me question any continuing relationship with said "friend."
And for the record, I don't condone what TL has done, but I sure as fuck don't condone what you are doing, either. I'm with the rest of the 'em who thinks it's none of your fucking business.
heavyhitter01
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2010
- Posts
- 443
Thanks for sharing your opinion.
My friends are somewhat aware of what I'm doing. They haven't asked for specifics. They haven't condoned it but they haven't stopped me either. They aren't pissed at me one way or the other. They just want her to stop trying to contact him, stop putting little innuendos and suggestions online in the hopes he will see it, and all of that other high-school shit she usually pulls.
This happened to my friends. Therefore, it is my business.
Lord Pmann
Lord
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2012
- Posts
- 19,682
Oooooh!!! Another player? Who is this?!?!? This thread has more twists than a Telemundo Soap Opera.
bailadora
We create the dreams.
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2007
- Posts
- 3,855
"Somewhat" aware doesn't qualify. Why not just be honest and upfront with what you are doing? Why not give them full opportunity to say yea or nay re: your actions?
I understand loyalty and it's a trait I highly value. That said, you taking action independent of their express consent smacks of you assuming authority that's not yours to take.
heavyhitter01
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2010
- Posts
- 443
When I say "somewhat" that means they know I'm hellbent on making sure the whore understands that her actions have consequences. I offered to tell them everything, but they don't want to know. They are free to ask me anytime, and I will be happy to tell them everything. If they said "no" of course I would stop.
I find it interesting that everyone is attacking me and my motives, but at the same time seems to be supportive of a cheating whore who simply can't take no for an answer. If any of you were confronted with her trying to mess with your lives or the lives of those you care about, you might see things very differently.
I wish some of you would take off your "everyone is free to fuck around here" blinders and step into the real world for a minute. This was not just some harmless online fun. Some of you seem to have been drinking the Lit kool-aid for so long that you believe anything goes as long as everybody gets turned on and gets their rocks off. In the real world, that's not the way it works.
Noor
Citizen of the World
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
- Posts
- 30,317
Nice to see such a whore has a fan club. I'm sure it warms her cold, cold heart.
I don't have to justify my actions to anyone. But I will say this.
None of you were there. NONE of you (unless perhaps you were also involved with ms_intrigue) saw what this bitch is capable of doing.
None of you saw what my friends went through over this indiscretion. You didn't see how he agonized over what he did. You didn't see the way she collapsed in tears -- for WEEKS -- when he confessed to everything. You didn't see how hard he worked to make it up to her. You didn't see the tears from both of them after counseling sessions. You didn't see the pain. You have no idea how difficult forgiveness was for her, or how terrible the guilt was for him.
I have never seen a man so remorseful. I have never seen a woman so hurt. I have never seen a couple who fought SO hard to get past it.
It took well over a year, but they got through it. They are perfectly happy and content now and so damn STRONG it makes me proud every time I see them together.
And in the midst of all this, that little whore continued to try to contact him! She continued to put out her little coy "scavenger hunts" on Lit and send him emails and taunt him. She didn't know that he NEVER gave a shit. He sees her for exactly what she is now and besides, he was too busy taking care of his relationship this time to worry about what that whore wanted from him.
But I definitely gave a shit, and her continuing to try to contact him was the LAST straw. A woman who will try to tear apart a good relationship like she did, who will attempt it over and over and OVER again, HAS to be stopped somehow.
So for those who wondered, that's the reason I'm here.
Again, more to come...so keep reading! You all love the drama, don't you?
Won't outing her, also bring more pain to your friends?
heavyhitter01
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2010
- Posts
- 443
I thought long and hard about that question, and the answer is no. They have nothing to do with her any longer. They live in another state. All of their friends and family are aware of what happened, and everyone around them is entirely supportive and proud of them for working through it all so admirably.
The bitch has created an air of innocence around her and lied to everyone she knows. Her ivory tower will come tumbling down but my friends? They never built ivory towers in the first place. They will be just fine.
bailadora
We create the dreams.
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2007
- Posts
- 3,855
LMAO. You obviously don't know HT'ers very well. Every time a cheater comes to HT seeking validation for their actions, he or she gets their ass handed to them. Repeatedly. Resoundingly. And without mercy. Some of the regulars here have even been victims of cheating or had front row seats as crucial relationships have either wavered or ended due to cheating. So no, HT culture does not support cheating. At all.
But most of the regulars also believe in trying to help people who genuinely wish to effect change within their lives. For the most part, it appears many here believe LT is trying to do just that. I don't think anyone here has coddled her or condoned her actions, just offered advice on how to truly change her ways, if that's what she's truly committed to doing.
You obviously don't think she's remorseful at all and you're entitled to your opinion. But HT'ers also believe in people owning and handling their own shit. Second party vigilantism is not welcomed - as is evidenced by your less than stellar reception.
You are, of course, free to post whatever the hell you want, as long as you don't violate the forum rules. Just as others are free to give you their opinions regarding your actions. Obviously, you can continue if you wish, but you won't get the kudos or validation you are seeking.
Last edited:
Eilan
Absent(ish)
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2005
- Posts
- 10,431
No shit. As evidenced by this thread.
It was in my confessions thread. I just learned the details of this. I'm just going to say I am not going to judge. I am sorry for all involved.
I understand the anger for a friend, I understand loathing vile behavior and so forth, more then you would ever know, I don't condone cheating nor do I find this story "erotic". TL may very well have acted like the worst bitch in the stories on Lit, for all I know, and if so there is further reason not to condone what went on. That said, she seems to be at the point where she is trying to put it behind her, make amends, whatever. The thing is, if she is duping everyone on this board, it makes no sense, because none of us know her in real life, none of us can offer her more then advice, we can't offer absolution and quite honestly, the forgiveness or understanding of a bunch of virtual people doesn't really mean all that much.
It doesn't seem like she is getting away with anything, to be honest, it simply sounds like for whatever reason she is trying to figure out what to do with herself, try and make amends, try and reform herself, whatever..if she wasn't, why bother posting messages on here asking for help?
More importantly, you aren't helping your friends by venting your rage against her like this, it isn't doing anything to make your friends lives better. It sounds like they have moved on, and to be honest, while TL has a lot to think about and make amends for, the husband was as much the guilty party, whatever she sold herself as to the outside world, he fucked up, royally, and she didn't seduce him, she didn't force him, he ultimately went along with whatever she did, which makes him a willing partner. That doesn't make her an angel or him a devil, it makes them both very human. I am really glad your friends worked through this and moved on, I am the type of person who reads reconciliation stories and cries, it is the way I am wired.
To be honest, destroying TL at this point doesn't help their marriage work any better, it doesn't change what happened, and if people in their lives know what happened then destroying or jumping on TL won't help them. If she at this point is still trying to contact the guy, trying to get into their lives, then you would have reason to call her on this, but if this stuff is in the past, then why linger on it? Getting revenge on her won't change what happened, and even assuming your bring a world of hurt on her, that won't change anything (and you are talking to someone who isn't above taking revenge or who wouldn't in some circumstances), I just don't see the point of this.....you don't have to be her friend, you don't have to love or like her or have anything to do with her, you have made clear what you think of her and from her own posts people on here know she wasn't an angel.
My advice would be to keep an eye on protecting your friends, if TL is still trying to interfere, then jump on her all you want..but if this is all the past, then let her get on with her own life and more importantly, see if maybe you could be wrong and her regret is real, not crocodile tears, but real. Want to know another reason? Karma is a funny thing, you are acting probably out of love for your friends and anger at what TL did, but the kind of thing you are doing often ends up backfiring on the person doing it. Call it karma, call it what Wiccans call the law of three, but even with good intentions what you are doing may come back on you; it may simply be the anger and angst causes you to get sick, it could be the anger you are putting out there boomarangs back. The sicilians (not exactly strangers to revenge) have an old saying, that if you intend to commit revenge, dig two graves, one for the victim, one for yourself. While they were talking about an entirely different kind of revenge, in a sense in committing the act of revenge you can be hurting yourself rather then helping others. I would say use the energy you have to protect your friends, keep the bad stuff away and let the chips fall where they may with TL. Unless she is actively still out there trying to hurt the couple or is out there telling people they were the ones at fault or they are horrible people or saying they lied or something (in other words, she is still harming them), let it go, give her the same chance you gave your friend to prove he was genuine in his sorrow. Maybe TL is a bitch who cannot reform, maybe everyone on here is being given a false image, but unless you know for certain she is up to her old tricks, let it rest. I understand the anger, there is very little I wouldn't do for a friend (and have), but sometimes the best part of valor lies in discretion and using our heads
.
Noor
Citizen of the World
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
- Posts
- 30,317
I understand the anger for a friend, I understand loathing vile behavior and so forth, more then you would ever know, I don't condone cheating nor do I find this story "erotic". TL may very well have acted like the worst bitch in the stories on Lit, for all I know, and if so there is further reason not to condone what went on. That said, she seems to be at the point where she is trying to put it behind her, make amends, whatever. The thing is, if she is duping everyone on this board, it makes no sense, because none of us know her in real life, none of us can offer her more then advice, we can't offer absolution and quite honestly, the forgiveness or understanding of a bunch of virtual people doesn't really mean all that much.
It doesn't seem like she is getting away with anything, to be honest, it simply sounds like for whatever reason she is trying to figure out what to do with herself, try and make amends, try and reform herself, whatever..if she wasn't, why bother posting messages on here asking for help?
More importantly, you aren't helping your friends by venting your rage against her like this, it isn't doing anything to make your friends lives better. It sounds like they have moved on, and to be honest, while TL has a lot to think about and make amends for, the husband was as much the guilty party, whatever she sold herself as to the outside world, he fucked up, royally, and she didn't seduce him, she didn't force him, he ultimately went along with whatever she did, which makes him a willing partner. That doesn't make her an angel or him a devil, it makes them both very human. I am really glad your friends worked through this and moved on, I am the type of person who reads reconciliation stories and cries, it is the way I am wired.
To be honest, destroying TL at this point doesn't help their marriage work any better, it doesn't change what happened, and if people in their lives know what happened then destroying or jumping on TL won't help them. If she at this point is still trying to contact the guy, trying to get into their lives, then you would have reason to call her on this, but if this stuff is in the past, then why linger on it? Getting revenge on her won't change what happened, and even assuming your bring a world of hurt on her, that won't change anything (and you are talking to someone who isn't above taking revenge or who wouldn't in some circumstances), I just don't see the point of this.....you don't have to be her friend, you don't have to love or like her or have anything to do with her, you have made clear what you think of her and from her own posts people on here know she wasn't an angel.
My advice would be to keep an eye on protecting your friends, if TL is still trying to interfere, then jump on her all you want..but if this is all the past, then let her get on with her own life and more importantly, see if maybe you could be wrong and her regret is real, not crocodile tears, but real. Want to know another reason? Karma is a funny thing, you are acting probably out of love for your friends and anger at what TL did, but the kind of thing you are doing often ends up backfiring on the person doing it. Call it karma, call it what Wiccans call the law of three, but even with good intentions what you are doing may come back on you; it may simply be the anger and angst causes you to get sick, it could be the anger you are putting out there boomarangs back. The sicilians (not exactly strangers to revenge) have an old saying, that if you intend to commit revenge, dig two graves, one for the victim, one for yourself. While they were talking about an entirely different kind of revenge, in a sense in committing the act of revenge you can be hurting yourself rather then helping others. I would say use the energy you have to protect your friends, keep the bad stuff away and let the chips fall where they may with TL. Unless she is actively still out there trying to hurt the couple or is out there telling people they were the ones at fault or they are horrible people or saying they lied or something (in other words, she is still harming them), let it go, give her the same chance you gave your friend to prove he was genuine in his sorrow. Maybe TL is a bitch who cannot reform, maybe everyone on here is being given a false image, but unless you know for certain she is up to her old tricks, let it rest. I understand the anger, there is very little I wouldn't do for a friend (and have), but sometimes the best part of valor lies in discretion and using our heads
Bravo!
Eilan
Absent(ish)
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2005
- Posts
- 10,431
In situations like this, I've never understood why the Other Woman gets vilified more than the CPOS does.
heavyhitter01
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2010
- Posts
- 443
I wanted to point out a few key points in your post.
First, she didn't come here for sympathy. The_Librarian came here to draw attention to herself. I think perhaps she wants to drum up sympathy (which you all fell right into) in order to cushion the blow she knows is coming.
Second, yes, my friend was a willing partner. The difference? He is remorseful and has made up for his actions. She has not.
Third, she IS still trying to contact him. That's what prompted this from me. I didn't go after her for two YEARS. She has kept up this little charade for two YEARS. I finally realized she would not stop until she was forced to do so.
As for the rest of your responses: ms_intrigue is not the sweet, innocent woman you all seem to think she is. That's why I firmly believe you condone (or at least "understand") cheating around here, though you say you don't. You "feel" for her situation, but I haven't seen ANYONE pop up and say "You know what? You're right. You're a fucking whore for what you did and you deserve to feel like shit for it."
When I see that, I will finally buy the "we don't condone cheating" line.
Lord Pmann
Lord
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2012
- Posts
- 19,682
It makes me think of the story in the Bible where people are about to stone a woman caught in adultery. The religious, self righteous people bring a woman to him and say, "This whore was caught cheating. Should we stone her?" Jesus leans over and writes something on the ground and then tells them that the person without sin should throw the first stone. Of course, they all drop their stones and walk off.
The bible doesn't say what Jesus wrote in the sand, but I always thought he wrote "where is the man".
You can consider the story a fairy tale or whatever you wish. I'm not trying to start a religious debate, I just think it seems applicable.
Lord Pmann
Lord
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2012
- Posts
- 19,682
forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=41703745&postcount=3
forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=41712796&postcount=14
forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=41712943&postcount=20
forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=41713221&postcount=21
forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=41715686&postcount=27
There are just a few. You don't have to call someone a whore to speak the truth.
whynotjustsayit
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2009
- Posts
- 4,317
You're so angry and vengeful, you aren't truly taking in what people are saying. Nobody has condoned the OP. Nobody even remotely has said she is "sweet and innocent." What you want is her blood extracted verbally by everyone here, along the same lines as you. That's the proof you want so that you feel her actions aren't condoned.
What you want is to turn this thread into a one person angry vigilante rant and you want us all to cheer you on. When are you going to figure out that's not going to happen ?
heavyhitter01
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2010
- Posts
- 443
Oh, I knew that when I started posting here.
The comments here don't change my opinion of what I'm doing, nor do they change my opinion of her, but they DO make me understand how cheating and the like can happen so easily here. This is a place where "anything goes" so no wonder the bitch felt like she could get away with it all. The cloak of anonymity around here makes everyone feel protected and safe while they go about whatever they want to do.
If this thread has taught me anything, it's that I really am doing the right thing.
Her real-world outing is well on its way and going just fine from my point of view. When it comes to Lit, if anyone is curious about little ms_intrigue, feel free to PM me. I've got plenty to tell.
Lord Pmann
Lord
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2012
- Posts
- 19,682
Seriously mate, what's most annoying is that you genuinely don't see that people don't condone her behaviour. No one is. We may not be calling her a whore. But I don't see anywhere that people condone it. I think you're seeing what you want to see.
Let's make no mistake, you're not doing "the right thing". You might do what makes you feel good. But in no universe is it the right thing.
Let's make no mistake, you're not doing "the right thing". You might do what makes you feel good. But in no universe is it the right thing.
heavyhitter01
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2010
- Posts
- 443
And why is that?
Lord Pmann
Lord
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2012
- Posts
- 19,682
She came here and said she was a whore. You know what. Ever makes a person change their behaviour? Being berated. I don't think we should tickle their ego either. TL doesn't deserve to have things just work perfectly. If things progress naturally bad for her, then they do. But I don't think that anyone going out of their way to turn her life to shit is going to make things better for anyone.
She has to wake up every day and live with herself and what she did. Maybe she has no sadness about it. Maybe she does. Maybe she's insane. I don't know. But what good is us calling her a whore going to do. I've worked, over the years, with people far more fucked up than she. And you know what? Never has there been a time where calling them names was the answer. So that's why no one called her a whore. She came here and admitted it. We don't need to point out the obvious again.
I believe everyone is worthy of forgiveness and redemption if they truly seek to change, AND it's not our battle to fight or demoralize her, neither is it yours. I do not condone her current or past actions, but it took two to tango.
Your friend can tell her to take a hike. HE is the one that needs to fight to keep his relationship together, HE is the one who needs to tell her to stop and take whatever necessary and legal action to do so.
You, on the other hand need to not feed the fire. You are giving her more attention, something you said she is seeking.
heavyhitter01
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2010
- Posts
- 443
My friend has cut off all ways she might be able to communicate with him. She doesn't know that, however (of course, she does now that she read this -- I'm sure she can't resist poking in here to see how everyone is standing up for her). He is taking care of his relationship by doing so. As I said before, I'm not nearly as nice as he is.
As for attention -- yes, she wants that from you. She has always been an attention whore. But here she gets POSITIVE attention, and as anyone who ever picked up the simplest psych book can tell you, positive attention only reinforces bad behavior. If anything is feeding the fire, it's positive attention. I am giving her NEGATIVE attention, which hopefully has a much different effect.
