COVID-19 RESOURCES
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Desire to connect...connection with desire

That's the thing that happens all the time. You talk with people, enjoy it, and sometimes even go further than this but then you suddenly lose that person. I think this is because people here have very different lifes in real world and you cannot know what life brought to her/him after you talked.
So it is better to move on and leave things behind i guess. Even i know that saying is always easier than doing it.
 
Hi Crimson, you touched my heart with your words and I feel for you. I think people come here for many different reasons, some to play when the mood strikes, and in the heat of the moment can easily say things they don't intend carrying through on. Others to play the game as they see it. Some just to chat and make friends, and some of us hoping to make that online connection. it's never going to work unless you have the same need. I've said before that I think part of the problem is many people forget there is a real person at the end of their keyboard. They refer to offline as 'real life', when it is real life, just one aspect of it.

I also think sometimes people get carried away when they feel a connection with someone new, forgetting they never intended for that to happen. Their work life is too busy, or family commitments cause issues. Disappearing probably seems the easy way out. I can empathise as many others can. I have tired of 'new starts' on here, but I also know to have anything more than friendship I need to feel that connection. It outs those like us between a rock and a hard place ( no pun intended).

Be kind to yourself, know you are special, and the ones that disappear are the ones with the problem. Someone said it's the nature of the place, and while they are right, if people were honest about their reasons for coming here, a lot of hurt would be avoided.

Honesty is a quality, but it can also be our downfall.

Hugs

Judi
xx
 
Jewdles said:
Hi Crimson, you touched my heart with your words and I feel for you. I think people come here for many different reasons, some to play when the mood strikes, and in the heat of the moment can easily say things they don't intend carrying through on. Others to play the game as they see it. Some just to chat and make friends, and some of us hoping to make that online connection. it's never going to work unless you have the same need. I've said before that I think part of the problem is many people forget there is a real person at the end of their keyboard. They refer to offline as 'real life', when it is real life, just one aspect of it.

I also think sometimes people get carried away when they feel a connection with someone new, forgetting they never intended for that to happen. Their work life is too busy, or family commitments cause issues. Disappearing probably seems the easy way out. I can empathise as many others can. I have tired of 'new starts' on here, but I also know to have anything more than friendship I need to feel that connection. It outs those like us between a rock and a hard place ( no pun intended).

Be kind to yourself, know you are special, and the ones that disappear are the ones with the problem. Someone said it's the nature of the place, and while they are right, if people were honest about their reasons for coming here, a lot of hurt would be avoided.

Honesty is a quality, but it can also be our downfall.

Hugs

Judi
xx
Click to expand...

Thank you for your kindness.

All I've asked for here...and the main thing I've offered is honesty. So much would be solved if people would just do that.
 
CrimsonK said:
Thank you for your kindness.

All I've asked for here...and the main thing I've offered is honesty. So much would be solved if people would just do that.
Click to expand...

I could've written this as well. You are my kindred soul, Crimson. I share your desire and your frustration. :heart::rose:
 
Amen Crimson to the honesty comment. At times it may be difficult to tell someone this isn't working for you, but at least they know. That way we can all move on.

Tell me if it's not right, don't string me along, or worse, disappear. You tell me it's a great connection, but then don't communicate, then say you're sorry but your girlfriend is moving in and you can no longer chat. Then lo and behold you're advertising for that special someone hahahaha. Honesty sure does go a long way........

What a great thread we could have for piss poor excuses. lol

J
 
Jewdles said:
Amen Crimson to the honesty comment. At times it may be difficult to tell someone this isn't working for you, but at least they know. That way we can all move on.

Tell me if it's not right, don't string me along, or worse, disappear. You tell me it's a great connection, but then don't communicate, then say you're sorry but your girlfriend is moving in and you can no longer chat. Then lo and behold you're advertising for that special someone hahahaha. Honesty sure does go a long way........

What a great thread we could have for piss poor excuses. lol

J
Click to expand...

Indeed.

Quotation-Khaled-Hosseini-life-truth-hurt-Meetville-Quotes-164925.jpg
 
Crimson,
You are totally not alone in your thoughts or feelings or what you are looking for.

I peruse the board just hoping for one pm or post that totally makes me feel like that or will develop into that. instead I usually feel like i'm bitch because I can't give the other what they want because i'm not getting what I want. So they disappear or I back off. then when you do find the ones you think just maybe. well it doesn't happen either. real life is just as bad.

good luck in your search!
Just know your not alone in your feelings!


J
 
spunkyE said:
Crimson,
You are totally not alone in your thoughts or feelings or what you are looking for.

I peruse the board just hoping for one pm or post that totally makes me feel like that or will develop into that. instead I usually feel like i'm bitch because I can't give the other what they want because i'm not getting what I want. So they disappear or I back off. then when you do find the ones you think just maybe. well it doesn't happen either. real life is just as bad.

good luck in your search!
Just know your not alone in your feelings!


J
Click to expand...

Thank you so much :)

I really appreciate all of you who have taken a moment to write to me either here in this thread or by pm. I'm just so sorry it took have a meltdown to bring out warm, generous and heartfelt responses.
 
CrimsonK said:
Thank you so much :)

I really appreciate all of you who have taken a moment to write to me either here in this thread or by pm. I'm just so sorry it took have a meltdown to bring out warm, generous and heartfelt responses.
Click to expand...

My dear Crimson,

I don't suppose I'll know what you're going through, and I'd never pretend to imagine either.

I think most people are good. Some good-er than others, but there's a fair bit of good on this site. Sure there are the smeg-heads who will tear a woman apart, use her in all the wrong ways and vanish, but I'm so very glad that you've found some support here too. I'm only sorry that it took going through such a rough time for you to find that camaraderie.

I realise that I am only words on a screen, but a far away place, but if there is anything that I can do to help, you need only say.

Your new friend,

Anya x
 
CrimsonK said:
I've been here for several months now. I came here for one reason, but along the way have made connections...some friends...some more...that keep me coming back.

The desire to keep connecting is strong. It's essential to life...to living fully. And the desire, for me, can't come without that connection.

I'm frustrated lately with people that I've become close with, who suddenly disappear with no warning or reason or word. Just gone. Completely. I find myself hoping they have found what they need and are living a full life. But am a little sad about the hole they leave behind.

So I am looking for you if you are strong enough to connect with me. If you are brave enough to stay and build something strong...a friendship...or more, if that happens to work for us both. And if you are the kind of person who will have enough respect for me and for what we've built to let me know why it ends.

I'm looking for the needle in the haystack.
Click to expand...


Believe me when I say I know exactly what you're going through. I have been there and back, and some of the things people will say or do just to keep you in their lives until they no longer need you is disturbing. I could write a book about how close I got, only to have the rug pulled out from under me. People say it's easy to move on, but that doesn't happen overnight. Especially when you know the other person isn't feeling even a fraction of what you are feeling. All you can do is try again, be cautious, and hope the next time is different. I am wishing that for both you and myself as well. Good luck.
 
FoolMeOnce said:
Believe me when I say I know exactly what you're going through. I have been there and back, and some of the things people will say or do just to keep you in their lives until they no longer need you is disturbing. I could write a book about how close I got, only to have the rug pulled out from under me. People say it's easy to move on, but that doesn't happen overnight. Especially when you know the other person isn't feeling even a fraction of what you are feeling. All you can do is try again, be cautious, and hope the next time is different. I am wishing that for both you and myself as well. Good luck.
Click to expand...


The trying again....it's where I'm really struggling. I've come to feel worthless.
 
CrimsonK said:
The trying again....it's where I'm really struggling. I've come to feel worthless.
Click to expand...

I get that, because I've been there. The fact is, you're not worthless though. You have to think about the things that make you who you are. The good in your life, like the people who actually care for you and are there for you. The online world is a game to many. Lit in particular is an escape from the sometimes crushing realities of life. Very rarely do you find that one diamond among the coal that wants more than just the quick fix. Think of it this way. The person that hurt you, were they real in their intentions? Did they mean what they said? If they were and did, they wouldn't have left like a thief in the night. You dodged a bullet, because even if things worked out, you could have gotten burned so much worse after a real connection. The hurt doesn't go away overnight. It may never go away. Some are capable of turning off their emotions like a light switch, while some of us can't push things behind us so easily. But you have to try, and you have to remind yourself of this. You deserve better. You deserve that one person or people who will care, who will accept you for who you are, and who won't just leave. They were not worth your time or energy, and how they handled the situation is immature. Perhaps one day, if they meant even one thing they said to you, they will see that. But by then, you will have already moved on to much better things. You can't give up, because if you do, you may miss out on something wonderful.
 
Last edited:
FoolMeOnce said:
I get that, because I've been there. The fact is, you're not worthless though. You have to think about the things that make you who you are. The good in your life, like the people who actually care for you and are there for you. The online world is a game to many. Lit in particular is an escape from the sometimes crushing realities of life. Very rarely do you find that one diamond among the coal that wants more than just the quick fix. Think of it this way. The person that hurt you, were they real in their intentions? Did they mean what they said? If they were and did, they wouldn't have left like a thief in the night. You dodged a bullet, because even if things worked out, you could have gotten burned so much worse after a real connection. The hurt doesn't go away overnight. It may never go away. Some are capable of turning off their emotions like a light switch, while some of us can't push things behind us so easily. But you have to try, and you have to remind yourself of this. You deserve better. You deserve that one person or people who will care, who will accept you for who you are, and who won't just leave. They were not worth your time or energy, and how they handled the situation is immature. Perhaps one day, if they meant even one thing they said to you, they will see that. But by then, you will have already moved on to much better things. You can't give up, because if you do, you may miss out on something wonderful.
Click to expand...

Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times, yes.

Those of us who are "all-in" with our hearts, suffer fools who play games. Or perhaps they just don't understand how genuinely we mean each and every word. But, as much as it hurts to think of putting your heart out there again, you are a beautiful, amazing person, who deserves someone who will recognize that.
 
InsatiableDsire said:
Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times, yes.

Those of us who are "all-in" with our hearts, suffer fools who play games. Or perhaps they just don't understand how genuinely we mean each and every word. But, as much as it hurts to think of putting your heart out there again, you are a beautiful, amazing person, who deserves someone who will recognize that.
Click to expand...


See that, CrimsonK. I'm already making another woman scream, "Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times, yes." I must be doing something right!

Just a little levity to break the tension :) You can do this. There are good people left in this world. You just have to get through the demons to find the angels.
 
Iam trying to inderstand. I really am. I'm trying to have faith and patience. I'm trying to believe.

I'm failing.

(I'm not asking for sympathy or help or shoulders. I'm just completely blown away at how deeply this has affected me. Oh. And then the final shoe dropped in a way I really didn't see coming)
 
I suppose to play devil's advocate here, I initially tried to form connections here, but came to the realization that they would always be limited in nature.

Part of it, I suspect, is this site is based around the semi-anonymous fulfilling of fantasies.
 
tinwalker said:
I suppose to play devil's advocate here, I initially tried to form connections here, but came to the realization that they would always be limited in nature.

Part of it, I suspect, is this site is based around the semi-anonymous fulfilling of fantasies.
Click to expand...


There is that. But I'm a fairly savy and intelligent person. I've been involvedi n online communities of many kinds for the better part of 20 years. Yes, there is a certain aspect of fantasy here, but more and more I'm seeing that shift. It's certainly evident in the responses in this thread. It's even more evident in the responses I've seen by pm, from both sides actually. And the experiences reflect what I've seen in offline life as well as online life in a multitude of communities. Sometimes human nature kicks in.
 
CrimsonK said:
There is that. But I'm a fairly savy and intelligent person. I've been involvedi n online communities of many kinds for the better part of 20 years. Yes, there is a certain aspect of fantasy here, but more and more I'm seeing that shift. It's certainly evident in the responses in this thread. It's even more evident in the responses I've seen by pm, from both sides actually. And the experiences reflect what I've seen in offline life as well as online life in a multitude of communities. Sometimes human nature kicks in.
Click to expand...

I'm not really conveying it very well. We start off with these very intimate fantasies, and the thing is bonds form from them, but they are only online. In many cases it's just not possible to make any of them real. Eventually it becomes maddening, and you just can't do it anymore.

It is like smelling the corks from a bottle of fine wine, but never getting to actually taste it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

T
Genuine Deep Intimate Connection
Replies
1
Views
74
Michaelcat17
M
Lucaim
(M) Looking forward to connect with you (F)
Replies
0
Views
63
Lucaim
Lucaim
R
Long Term Connection
Replies
4
Views
262
ryan_17
R
M
Looking for chat/connection
Replies
1
Views
216
Marcax
M
W
Hetero guy with an interest in gay porn seeks female friend and chat partner
Replies
2
Views
183
Winter_Wordsmith
W
Back
Top