A violent story

IsaacTolkien

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My latest story, Everything Goes in Phone Sex, is now up in Letters & Transcripts.

The underlying story behind the call is that the man feels a good deal of guilt over his fantasies, and the operator is guiding him to more self-acceptance.

In particular, he's into out-and-out violence, with the sole proviso that his partner consent to everything. The only place he can find such a partner is, of course, a phonesex line.

Interested to hear what people think, especially if you're actually into that kind of thing on any level.
 
I thought this was an interesting read. Not something that I found arousing, but I'm interested in the dilemmas that your protag deals with here, the disconnect between fantasy and morality, along with the sex-for-money angle. It's something that I've been exploring myself in my current series, so I appreciated seeing another author's take on this. Some of the content was on the uncomfortable side but then that was the point.

The way you formatted the speech isn't standard style (italics for her, non-italic for him), but it worked well for me. It avoided any ambiguity about who was saying what, without the clunkiness of tagging every line as "PAUL:"/"ASHLEY:".

Was there any aspect in particular that you wanted feedback on?

Minor minor point: I've never used a phone service like this myself, so I could be completely wrong, but the logistics at the start didn't seem right to me - I would have expected him to provide his CC number, and have that verified plus some sort of agreement to T&Cs, before he ever talked to Ashley. No big deal, just a detail that seemed a bit off.
 
Well... This is why I didn't go into the phone sex business. For as much as I love sex, phone or otherwise, the sort of person in your story is the type of person whose image I conjure up when I think of a person who would pay for sex.

Your story was well written. I just couldn't get into it. Especially the punching and kicking stuff. Yes, one of the characters in one of my stories does get kicked by me but he had arranged it with me ahead of time. I highly doubt IRL that I would kick someone while having sex. Not on purpose anyway.

I'm all for the pain/pleasure stuff so long as both are willing. But I can't see one person punching and kicking just because they feel like it. It's usually more a matter of the sub wanting stuff like that.

I also found the story to be sad but perhaps that's because of a real life situation that I had. Had a guy friend who claimed to have had a GF some time before I knew him. We were friends for 20some years. He had seen some prostitutes over those years. Even bragged about seeing them. From what he said, I don't think any actual sex took place. He had a fetish and he had them do stuff in terms of that.

For some reason, he held prostitutes in high regard. Reason being, they had to see Drs. every so often to make sure they were clean. The ones in Nevada anyway...at the specific places he visited.

But the rest of us? He considered us to be potentially filthy and disease ridden. So I was rather blown away when he hit on me after I got divorced. Uh... No. No reason for me to do that at all!

I don't think that sex is degrading. But I do think it's sad and pathetic that some people have to pay for it.

I guess bottom line... Your story just didn't turn me on in the least.
 
Very interesting premise, but maybe not for a sex story.

I could see it working as a script for an indy movie or for one of the oddball TV anthology series (like the Duplass Brothers', Room 103), but it's not something that most people would masturbate over.

I didn't read the story, as my interest on this site is solely with sex stories.
 
Thanks everyone for writing, and reading!

Bramble: the feedback you gave is fine!

Are you talking about your red scarf series? I started to read it, looks good so far.

Larger companies will indeed have a separate operator to take the cc (or just do it online), but one-woman operators will do as described here.

Jada: sorry you didn't like it, but thanks for reading to the end anyway! Sorry to hear the way your friend behaved. (Fwiw, all prostitutes I knew were very strict about condoms).

Being a real phonesex operator is quite difficult, as you have to do whatever fantasy comes in, no matter how weird. There's a bunch of others I'm not into, like daddy's little girl, mommy's little baby, etc. Most men who are into bdsm are indeed submissive. But the majority of callers do vanilla.

In some ways though, paid sexual experiences can be as special and memorable as unpaid ones, for the buyer at least, years or even decades later.

Chuck: thanks for commenting anyway. The story is so explicit it kind of has to go in some kind of erotic site, even if it isn't masturbatory material for everyone.
 
I read your story. I thought it was excellent. The level of degradation and abuse described goes way beyond what I personally find erotic, but you do an excellent job drawing the reader into the world that gets created in the conversation between these two people. By the end I thought it was erotic even though the acts described are so unpleasant.

One of the things that makes an erotic story sizzle for me is the exploration of the forbidden, and you do an excellent job with that. The whole story is about that. It's a central theme of my stories, so it resonated with me as a reader.

I liked how you handled his reluctance and tentativeness, with him gradually relaxing and letting out his fantasies at Ashley's urging.

Your characters are both intelligent and self aware. That also made it much more erotic for me. You have Ashley make intelligent observations about what's going on rather than just saying "Give it to me baby!"

The way you handled the dialogue, with one character in italics and the other in plain text, was just right. In another story it wouldn't work, but by doing it this way you make it perfectly clear who's speaking without having to use any tagging.

Your story was inventive and clever. You told a whole story with nothing but dialogue. Effectively.

I got drawn in right away. I could imagine a conversation something like this really happening.

Five stars for me. It was different and it was skillfully done.
 
Simon, wow, thanks! This may be the highest praise I've ever had.

The story doesn't seem to be getting much traction so far, probably due to the reasons the others cited above. L&T is known to be a low-traffic, low-response category, but likely the story would do even worse elsewhere.
 
Simon, wow, thanks! This may be the highest praise I've ever had.

The story doesn't seem to be getting much traction so far, probably due to the reasons the others cited above. L&T is known to be a low-traffic, low-response category, but likely the story would do even worse elsewhere.

Your story doesn't easily fit into any category. So it's not going to get as many views as you'd like. I probably would have put it in BDSM because there was some dom/sub discussion and role play. But some BDSMers might dislike it because it doesn't fit their idea of what BDSM is all about. You can't worry about making everybody happy.
 
Are you talking about your red scarf series? I started to read it, looks good so far.

Yep, that's the one! I don't think I've posted the most BDSM-y content yet; it's been sitting in my buffer for months and months, waiting for me to write the next chapter. (And it's fairly mild compared to what you have here.)

Larger companies will indeed have a separate operator to take the cc (or just do it online), but one-woman operators will do as described here.

Well, then, I learned something new.

The story doesn't seem to be getting much traction so far, probably due to the reasons the others cited above. L&T is known to be a low-traffic, low-response category, but likely the story would do even worse elsewhere.

Agreed. If it wasn't in L&T the obvious place would be BDSM, but I don't know that the response there would be any more enthusiastic. That's okay, though; not every story needs to be for everyone.
 
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