Chinese/American romance lead

astuffedshirt_perv

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so I’ve been thinking of a story, not clear if it is a romance or not, between a Chinese girl (from China) and a white guy. But Chloe Tzang has cornered that market, so I’m not going to write it. But here is the idea:

BACKGROUND: Chinese people like to drink warm/hot water (Depending on where you draw the line between warm and hot). Further, you do not generally drink tap water in China. In the US you (can) drink the water from tap. Ling, our girl, has learned that you drink water from the tap in the US and she is a college (Graduate?) student.

STORY: Innocent Ling gets talked into going to a party by her college friends. At the party, she decides she would like a glass of hot water. She take a glass in the kitchen, fills it from the hot water tap, and goes to drink it.

Adam, without a word, snatches the glass from her lips and pours it down the drain, gets out some filtered water and heats it up for her.
Ling asks why.
Adam says ‘Let me show you.’ He unlocks the basement door and leads her down to the deserted basement. There he shows her the dirty water heater, and explains that in cheap student housing like this, the water heater is crap and has junk in it. He opens the valve at the bottom and lets some water out, showing her how dirty it is. He points out that in rich student apartments like where she lives, this is not a problem since they have new stuff. He explains the various parts of the water heater. They go back up.

Ling’s friends notice she vanished with Adam to the basement. They take turns interrogating her.
“So, Ling, what were you and Adam doing?”
“Oh, he showed me his water heater.” Her friends can barely suppress breaking out in laughter.
<snicker> “Oh really? What does it look like?”
“It was big, I guess. I haven’t seen a water heater before.”
<snicker> “I’m sure you haven’t. What color was it?”
“Oh, it was white.”
<snort> “Indeed. Did you touch it?”
“Yeah, it was hard. Like steel, I think.”
<snort> “Oh, I am sure. Did you kiss it?” <snicker>
“No, that is gross! I would never.”
<Guffaw> “Was it leaking?” <snort>
“No, but he did let out a little bit for me.”
People are losing it, trying futilely to keep a straight face.
“Did you taste it?” <snicker>
“No, gross! That’s dirty. We just let it fall on the floor.”
<guffaw> “You know, I think Brian here has a black ‘water heater’.”
“Oh? Does it work the same?”
“Pretty much, but I think his is bigger and harder.” <snort>
“Yeah baby, and it’s super clean. You think you would be able to kiss it?” Brian asks.
“Maybe.”

Any other euphemisms you can come up with? I’m thinking the entire group would be crying in laughter by this point.
 
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