My soul

What

I missed the moment as it passed and I woke up here
Before I knew what happened I was in deep
There's no going back or forgetting
It's who I am do I have to change
Doubt is so infectious
Suttle thoughts slip you into the downward spiral
The focus I need blurred by my own thoughts
I relive the moments trying to find my mistake
Nothing nothing's there I can see
Yet here I am and this is me
Was it a mistake How did this happen did I fall
What was it that lead me here
Did I choose this path or just blindly stumble into it
What will I do what is next
What does it matter who will care after im long gone
What the fuck it matters to me
It's matters now and one day when you read these words
It will matter to you
what
that it matters
 
Bounty of distraction

Stubborn stupidity slips through my fingers leaving them greased and raw
Trimmed and subtle creases crisp and true glistening pedals drenched in dew
Behind the vail wicked wanting and endless
Bought and sold with a mere thought caught in time stands the moment
From inner to outer shouting clear
happiness sadness love joy all bring the same fear
More or less hidden in the light or dancing in the darkness
Moments life times tangled and torn
Gone engorged bloated gentle kiss
Ripped from souls never missed
Climbing piles of dreams
Wronged with out knowing
Knowledge confronted egnorance growing
Shiny specs a trail to follow
Splashing enhancement in the pit to wallow
Sweet to taste bitter to swallow
Trudging discord sacrificial feast common mistakes choking down things we need least
Carefull placement general mistakes broken soul lost in the wake
Emptiness is full space is empty
As am I with out your bounty
 
More then

I hide in the light shrouded by darkness
Lost to forever it's you I miss
The shallows grow deep in undesired thought
Live in the mire of what I was taught
Tainted colors of wishes blended but true
Soft coated memories of thoughts of you
Blinded and forgotten the moment tends to be true
Bluring passages that contain me forceing words I spew
Once clear clouded is the path
Questions I once knew now make me laff
Less unfull emptied blank
Clean and dry this tender plank Walk it I will
Sure to fall more then nothing
I want it all
 
Spotless

She draws her stance as if she had ink to bleed
Written in some position of thoughtless greed
Bold she throws her empty grace
Thinking for herself as if she had face
When water bends as passing creeps through
Wanton wondering is all she can do
I am lost for she can't see that broken promises is what she sells to me
Bought and paid I'll be true
Forgiveness for nothing so little so few
From one point this dance reveals such beauty
Deepens commitment way beyond duty
Corse and absurd for things of such pleasure
Speak softly embrace this infinite treasure
 
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Isolation

The void of the past consumes me in a delicate embrace of distant memory's . Gone with the death of the fibers that held me together are thoughts of a future that will never be. It was a must , nothing eles makes sense . Hopes and wishes arose a plenty leading me into a never reality .
Years have past since I died a death no one should face clawing grasping to fill a space. I shall never believe there is no hope or in a truth that should never be. The unknowing can't fathom the bottom of a pit I'd wish on no one or the love of a father for his son. Never ending is the truth that will always be weather or not you are with me.
Return if you can and you want to , I will always be loving you.
 
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