New faces, come say hello...

chuckles

@}-}rebecca---- said:

Can we possibly put this aside and blame Miss Precious ? Thats what I usually do when I am in trouble.

@}-}rebecca----

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you're not in trouble, Miss Precious. Just a lil more precocious than I'm used to lol ;-)

Okay, well, here's my list anyway since I've been working on it for half an hour You'll probably find most of them in the library listing rebecca provided.

http://www.castlerealm.com Generic site, good info

http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/introduction.php3 Generic site, good info

http://www.leathernroses.com/ Generic site, good info

http://www.mybdsm.com/pages/DomLegato/index2.html#TOP One Dominant’s perspective on ‘training’. Interesting for subs and Dom/mes.

http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/organizations1.html Organisations, Clubs, Munches

http://www.cuffs.com/kinkylinks/ Links to all kinds of stuff

http://www.cuffs.com/DsPhil.htm Philosophy of D/s

http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/englishroissy/bdsm_songs.htm For those with a sense of humour.

http://dir.bondage.com/dir.asp?cat=20 Directory, links and sites

http://www.gloria-brame.com/diflove/index.html Different Loving – one of the books that brought BDSM into the ‘mainstream’.

http://www.leathernroses.com/cyber/ircserves.htm Online (and offline for that matter) ‘serving’.

http://www.ds-arts.com/RopeArt/mainrope.html Nawa Shibari – Japanese Rope Art

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dimension/6568/posit.htm#Submission Slave Positions (Gor related I think, but Gor stole most of our stuff ;-) )

http://ms.ha.md.us/~tammad/over21/bondage/sub-checklist.html BDSM Checklist – handy

http://www.domsubfriends.com/library/humiliation1.shtml Humiliation chart – also handy

http://www.steel-door.com/Submissive_vs_Slave.html Comparisons and contrasts

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/missyageplay.htm Ageplay

http://www.wicca.com/celtic/wicca/wicca0.htm Wicca and Paganism

There ya go. Good luck.

SN

Sir_Nathan said:

Welcome to all the new people. As you can see from my posts, I'm pretty new on the boards too.

For those interested about learning the basics, it's probably best to google 'castlerealm' - or IM me for the address. There are plenty of good sites out there with good quality info. Learning from the boards 'whether or not you might be interested' is probably not the 'best' way to go about it.

SN

Click to expand...

So, what's wrong with asking questiong of the people here? I think it's worked fairly well, up to now. You might prefer Castlerealm, but I don't think there's any better way to find out about something than to ask friends who know about it.

Sure, everybody who answers a question is only answering from personal knowledge, but you'd be surprised how knowledgable some of the regulars are. And, this is more of a community than a board. I can't say much for the GB, but if you go to the correct area on Lit to ask about something, I think you'll get an honest answer, of not two or three.

Castlerealm looks fine, but if you ask me, it also looks kind of like competition for Lit. That's really the kind of links they don't like posted. Then again, if they have good information, I don't think it's a bad thing.

I feel like I've learned a hellalot here.

*shrugs*

Welcome to the new folks!

Fury

Let me put it this way

There's nothing wrong with asking questions here. You might even get the right answer. I'd simply point out that this is a message board on an erotic story site. It's not true to say all of the information you get here WILL be accurate. It's a good thing to investigate further. To read. To be sure.

I can think of nothing more potentially harmful that to take as the gospel truth the opinion of 'one' person you meet online. Myself included. I'm not criticising the people here or the quality of information provided. From what I've seen it's pretty good. Just take it with a grain of salt.

I made my original comment on this matter in response to someone mentioning that they were (I'm paraphrasing here) 'interested in finding out if they were interested in the first place'. I still maintain that this is not the 'best' place to do that. If you must remain 'online' because of your circumstances or because of fear, then it's probably 'best' to check out some of the generic sites I mentioned, then contribute here and find friends.

Of course the 'absolute best' way to find out is to get involved in the scene real time. Attend a munch. Contact a support group. Actually talk to someone face to face. It's not as scary as you think. No one will accost you. You will be welcomed warmly, particularly if you are inexperienced.

On another point. Castlerealm does not have erotic stories. It is NOTHING like Literotica. The slightest perusal of it, or any or the sites I mentioned, would confirm this. It explains an enormous amout of stuff. For both subs and Doms. Even questions you haven't thought of asking yet. And no, I have no commercial interest in any of the sites I mentioned lol.

Here's the thing. I'm sure most people's intentions are good. When opinions of a number of people concur, I'm sure the information being provided is accurate. I guess I just wanted to fire off a warning about those who may lead people astray. I'm NOT saying they congregate here. But there are MANY out there, thousands upon thousands, who, with a little information, pretend to be who they are not. And that is a fact.

SN

Sir_Nathan said:

There's nothing wrong with asking questions here. You might even get the right answer. I'd simply point out that this is a message board on an erotic story site. It's not true to say all of the information you get here WILL be accurate. It's a good thing to investigate further. To read. To be sure.

I can think of nothing more potentially harmful that to take as the gospel truth the opinion of 'one' person you meet online. Myself included. I'm not criticising the people here or the quality of information provided. From what I've seen it's pretty good. Just take it with a grain of salt.

I made my original comment on this matter in response to someone mentioning that they were (I'm paraphrasing here) 'interested in finding out if they were interested in the first place'. I still maintain that this is not the 'best' place to do that. If you must remain 'online' because of your circumstances or because of fear, then it's probably 'best' to check out some of the generic sites I mentioned, then contribute here and find friends.

Of course the 'absolute best' way to find out is to get involved in the scene real time. Attend a munch. Contact a support group. Actually talk to someone face to face. It's not as scary as you think. No one will accost you. You will be welcomed warmly, particularly if you are inexperienced.

On another point. Castlerealm does not have erotic stories. It is NOTHING like Literotica. The slightest perusal of it, or any or the sites I mentioned, would confirm this. It explains an enormous amout of stuff. For both subs and Doms. Even questions you haven't thought of asking yet. And no, I have no commercial interest in any of the sites I mentioned lol.

Here's the thing. I'm sure most people's intentions are good. When opinions of a number of people concur, I'm sure the information being provided is accurate. I guess I just wanted to fire off a warning about those who may lead people astray. I'm NOT saying they congregate here. But there are MANY out there, thousands upon thousands, who, with a little information, pretend to be who they are not. And that is a fact.

SN

Click to expand...

Well, I look at it this way. Castlerealm is just one opinion, no matter how "educated" it may be. Here, you can have many different opinions, depending on the topic at hand. Just like any book on the subject can't be, one educated opinion can never be as personal as those who have actually been in the situation of the person asking the question. That one on one communication can be very fulfilling.

And, because there are many different opinions, there is usually a discussion on the topic and people have a chance to make their point for whatever reason, and actually become a sounding board for the topic. The question doesn't get just one answer, but it could get several variations.

This gives the person with the question a chance to tailor their decision to their own personal needs. And, if they need more information, they simply say so in the thread, and one or more of these people, who have actually lived the same situation can give further insight, as they see it.

The BDSM world is not a one way road. There are many different ways someone could go with it. Some get very deep into it, and some only skirt the edges. But to make sure everybody understands there are no cookie cutter roles to be played, and whatever they feel like doing is OK, as long as it follows the RISK idea or the SS&C idea.

Be it based on Gor, 24/7 M/s, D/s, B/D, F/m, M/f, M/m, F/m all the way down to kinky weekend sex parties. These are just a few basics. Everybody has their own version, and none are exactly the same.

Personally, if I have something I need an answer to, I don't just ask one person and take their advice. I ask several different people, and then formulate the answers from them all to best fit my situation.

Why do I do that? Because everybody is different, and no one person is exactly like me. I'd say Castlerealm is a good place to look for information. From what I've seen of it, I think it's one fine source of information. But, I also think this place is just as good, if not better, because of the individual and personal backgrounds of the people here...and the way they are open to answer legitimate questions, from their own experience.

Then, the person can take all of this information and think it over. They will have a much better idea of what's possible. It's the "two heads are better than one" method.

OK, places like Castlerealm or Sexuality.org are good places to start, because of their information database. And, it's possible you could get smarter and better able to ask questions you might want personalized answers to. But, then give me that "hands on" personal experience from someone I can trust, any day.

True, this is a story site, and a message board. But, it's more than that. And, think of the people who frequent this site. 99% of them are in the lifestyle, to some degree. They have lived it and felt it, and they have their experienced opinions. It's many different people telling their personal points of view. I don't see this as a bad thing at all.

CutieMouse said:

I can see Sir_Nathan's point, though... to discover and learn how to best wander down one's personal BDSM path, isn't very easy, and input from people/authors/etc at one internet forum (Lit, or elsewhere), isn't necessarily the most well rounded way to go about things.

I know there were a lot of things I thought I understood about D/s, that turned out to not be accurate, and taking a break from the site/learning elsewhere was benificial, in the long run.

Click to expand...

Oh, I'm not saying JUST Lit for your information. I'm saying include Lit, but also other places, too. The most information you can get from any number of varied sources is best. Just don't think the so called educational sources are the only ones out there. Sometimes they can be pretty generic with the answers, when you're looking for specifics.

Good

DVS said:

Oh, I'm not saying JUST Lit for your information. I'm saying include Lit, but also other places, too. The most information you can get from any number of varied sources is best. Just don't think the so called educational sources are the only ones out there. Sometimes they can be pretty generic with the answers, when you're looking for specifics.

Click to expand...

So basically you agree with me. Nice.

By the way, it's RACK, not 'RISK'.

Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. Just for your information.

SN

DVS said:

True, this is a story site, and a message board. But, it's more than that. And, think of the people who frequent this site. 99% of them are in the lifestyle, to some degree. They have lived it and felt it, and they have their experienced opinions. It's many different people telling their personal points of view. I don't see this as a bad thing at all.

Click to expand...

To those following this debate, on second reading the claim I have highlighted above is patently false. No right-minded person could possibly claim this as the truth. No one knows everyone, and no one has verified who everyone actually is, no matter who they claim to be.

Be warned. Be careful. If you choose to begin a cyber-type relationship with someone, find out who you are talking to. Do not trust someone until you get at least two references from people who know them in the real world. Prove to your satisfaction that the person you are talking to is who they claim to be. DO NOT take their word for it. Speak to someone who knows them from their offline community. Any Dom worth his salt could provide ten.

Do not take chances.

SN

*cough*

Please excuse this post. I'd like to see what my shiny new signature looks like. And yes, it looks okay on preview but I'd like to see what it looks like on the board.

ps. Does anyone else find that bloody banana distracting while they are trying to type?

Sir_Nathan said:

Please excuse this post. I'd like to see what my shiny new signature looks like. And yes, it looks okay on preview but I'd like to see what it looks like on the board.

ps. Does anyone else find that bloody banana distracting while they are trying to type?

Click to expand...

Lovely signature in a Domly way.....offers you a tissue for that nasty cough

Oh or was it bourbon I forget .......

Sir_Nathan said:

To those following this debate, on second reading the claim I have highlighted above is patently false. No right-minded person could possibly claim this as the truth. No one knows everyone, and no one has verified who everyone actually is, no matter who they claim to be.

Be warned. Be careful. If you choose to begin a cyber-type relationship with someone, find out who you are talking to. Do not trust someone until you get at least two references from people who know them in the real world. Prove to your satisfaction that the person you are talking to is who they claim to be. DO NOT take their word for it. Speak to someone who knows them from their offline community. Any Dom worth his salt could provide ten.

Do not take chances.

SN

Click to expand...

This to me is a bit unrealistic.

Also the I don't like the assumptions about what a Dom worth his salt would automatically have or do. This sounds close to the "one way and only one way" philosophy that I'm not comfortable in D/s.

Fury

FurryFury said:

This to me is a bit unrealistic.

Also the I don't like the assumptions about what a Dom worth his salt would automatically have or do. This sounds close to the "one way and only one way" philosophy that I'm not comfortable in D/s.

Fury

Click to expand...

Fury, please tell me you are not suggesting that your safety (or anyone else's) is unimportant.

And I didn't say 'what a Dom worth his salt would have to do'. I said what a Dom worth his salt 'could' do.

And thank you rebecca.

Sir_Nathan said:

Fury, please tell me you are not suggesting that your safety (or anyone else's) is unimportant.

And I didn't say 'what a Dom worth his salt would have to do'. I said what a Dom worth his salt 'could' do.

And thank you rebecca.

Click to expand...

I never said that saftey wasn't important and I never would say that.

I simply don't believe it's realistic to get the sort of certification from at least two people in a Dom/mes RL that you've stated is important above. You were talking cyber here too. With the right limits, that shouldn't constitute a significant danger to anyone, IMO.

A Dom worth his salt might not have ever checked out his local group or clubs but rather been in a relationship with just one other, IMO.

Fury

@}-}rebecca---- said:

Lovely signature in a Domly way.....offers you a tissue for that nasty cough

Oh or was it bourbon I forget .......

Click to expand...

Love it "Domly" a new word is born, may it be carved in a tablet of stone
and made Rebecca's very own

shrugs

FurryFury said:

I never said that saftey wasn't important and I never would say that.

I simply don't believe it's realistic to get the sort of certification from at least two people in a Dom/mes RL that you've stated is important above. You were talking cyber here too. With the right limits, that shouldn't constitute a significant danger to anyone, IMO.

A Dom worth his salt might not have ever checked out his local group or clubs but rather been in a relationship with just one other, IMO.

Fury

Click to expand...

Well, I don't agree.



I do not believe there has ever been an experienced Dominant in existence who is also in a position to offer advice who also happens to visit the boards on an erotic story site who has never contacted and stayed in contact with at least two people from their local community.

Even after moving house.

In my humble opinion.

Sir_Nathan said:

Well, I don't agree.



I do not believe there has ever been an experienced Dominant in existence who is also in a position to offer advice who also happens to visit the boards on an erotic story site who has never contacted and stayed in contact with at least two people from their local community.

Even after moving house.

In my humble opinion.

Click to expand...

Then we disagree. Not that big a deal, it happens.

Fury

smiles

FurryFury said:

Then we disagree. Not that big a deal, it happens.

Fury

Click to expand...

Agreed.

So for all the newbies here, you have found a place that you can come to read fiction or nonfiction as you wish, have discussions, learn and decide, state your POV, change your POV and restate it. You will find there is no one way to do things or an acid test of a "true" anything that applies to all.

You may find human beings, posers, people who cyber with no long term expectations, people in 24/7 D/s relationships, people in LD D/s relationships, people in vanilla relationships, pedantic martinets, predators and warm tolerant people here as well as many other types of people.

You can ask questions and someone, usually many someones, will give you their opinions, perhaps even point you to links with more information. Lit may not be perfect but I've found it to be very useful to me personally and not a bit scary.

Welcome!

Fury

FurryFury said:

So for all the newbies here, you have found a place that you can come to read fiction or nonfiction as you wish, have discussions, learn and decide, state your POV, change your POV and restate it. You will find there is no one way to do things or an acid test of a "true" anything that applies to all.

You may find human beings, posers, people who cyber with no long term expectations, people in 24/7 D/s relationships, people in LD D/s relationships, people in vanilla relationships, pedantic martinets, predators and warm tolerant people here as well as many other types of people.

You can ask questions and someone, usually many someone's, will give you their opinions, perhaps even point you to links with more information. Lit may not be perfect but I've found it to be very useful to me personally and not a bit scary.

Welcome!

Fury

Click to expand...

I will salute that Fury, well said

As a newbie to this corner of Lit and to the practices of the lifestyle, I have found that a combination of reading resource sites such as castlerealm (I've read a few others as well, in addition to a few of the classic books) and lurking here in the BDSM forum have worked together well. I doubt if I would have been able to absorb the value of the many different viewpoints that come out here had I not read the resource websites and recommended books systematically and carefully.

Sir Nathan, I read your novella Culture Shock recently and I can really appreciate the care and attention to safety that your dom character showed. He was an excellent role model, particularly in terms of how carefully he introduced the protagonist to the fundamentals of being a submissive.

Perhaps it's my long history of being a student that led me first to the systematic resources but I also can see that such learning is relatively sterile and that I won't really know my best approach to the lifestyle until I've been exposed to various aspects of it through real people. For me, that means reading and paying attention to this forum. At least for now. Who knows where I may end up in the future?

On that note, thanks to all who post regularly here, for I've already learned a great deal from all of you.

mickyp123 said:

I will salute that Fury, well said

Click to expand...

Thanks Mickyp123!

I think one has to research, listen, experience and make up their own minds. I am constantly amazed when people will find one little thing to disagree with, then take that as the reason to dismiss everything someone writes, preaches or says. Take what you can use, throw out the rest, that is my motto and always has been.

There is no one person or one site that can tell you what YOUR way is in D/s, IMO, because they don't know YOU. I feel that I and for that matter, most of us don't know ALL about ourselves and that is part of what makes life, the journey and explorations interesting. Still we should know ourselves better than anyone else and that makes us intuitive "experts" of a sort on what might work for us.

People looking for short cuts into this life style without the self exploration, research and so on, are bound to find some problems along the way. There is no BDSM authority or Messiah to follow because this is YOUR journey. Hopefully you will find someone to share it with in RL but it is still YOURS. You have a responsibility to yourself to do make that journey and your own discoveries. That's what I think.

Fury

midwestyankee said:

As a newbie to this corner of Lit and to the practices of the lifestyle, I have found that a combination of reading resource sites such as castlerealm (I've read a few others as well, in addition to a few of the classic books) and lurking here in the BDSM forum have worked together well. I doubt if I would have been able to absorb the value of the many different viewpoints that come out here had I not read the resource websites and recommended books systematically and carefully.

Sir Nathan, I read your novella Culture Shock recently and I can really appreciate the care and attention to safety that your dom character showed. He was an excellent role model, particularly in terms of how carefully he introduced the protagonist to the fundamentals of being a submissive.

Perhaps it's my long history of being a student that led me first to the systematic resources but I also can see that such learning is relatively sterile and that I won't really know my best approach to the lifestyle until I've been exposed to various aspects of it through real people. For me, that means reading and paying attention to this forum. At least for now. Who knows where I may end up in the future?

On that note, thanks to all who post regularly here, for I've already learned a great deal from all of you.

Click to expand...

Well said.

When I came here it was just one of many sites I was using to research power exchange. I didn't buy the books because I was (for that matter I still am) very paranoid. I didn't want anyone to know I was looking into this. Now I have my own tiny kink publication library. I don't care as much what people think in general though it still could ruin my career.

Even so, I never had a problem with the many view points here. I found it refreshing to see them and sort through them but that's perhaps just the sort of person I am.

I value this community a great deal. I would never enter a community like this and state outright that it was suspicious, shady or not as good as another. That sort of attitude rankles because I truly appreciate the people here. I have found this place to be the most useful and responsive of all the sites I've searched.

Fury

Because of the recent posting volley, I have decided to come clean to the boards. Yes, I'm a fake. I've been faking who and what I am for over four years, now, and I think it's time I set the story straight.

Are you ready for this? Could I have a drum roll, please?


























Im really a 14 year old girl. My older sister writes the stories. She'll be eighteen next month. Yep, you never really know who you're talking to on a site like this. Sorry, for any trouble I may have caused to the female subs looking to submit to my alter ego, DVS. But on the up side of this, I can now talk dirty to Shank. Don't you just love that nana man?

Please disregard that last post. I don't know who that was, and it's not true! But, that nana man IS cool.