Requesting feedback on first story (Incest)

I humbly request feedback and/or constructive criticism for my first submission on Lit.

It's the first real story I've ever written and, considering that english isn't my first language, I'd like to get some opinions on it (grammar, word choices, content, etc.).
The story is in Incest/Taboo and about brother-sister romance, 16,000 words long.

Link here: http://www.literotica.com/s/all-fun-and-games

Thank you very much.

I don't have time to read this right now, but took a quick peek. Your score is very good and out of the 29 comments I only saw one troll and no one is taking him seriously. Good number of favs/views/comments, I'd say it did very well here and those numbers are certainly encouraging of more stories from you.

Really good first

I read your story in its entirety. I gave it a 5 star rating. I did find a few errors in grammar but nothing to worry about. This story could use another chapter or two. Keep up the good work.

Tigersman said:

I read your story in its entirety. I gave it a 5 star rating. I did find a few errors in grammar but nothing to worry about. This story could use another chapter or two. Keep up the good work.

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Would you be prepared to tead my Literotica stories. They are under my name of MaryR no full stops

MaryR said:

Would you be prepared to tead my Literotica stories. They are under my name of MaryR no full stops

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Hijacking another author's thread?

I enjoy incest, but the brother/sister combo is a somewhat distant enjoyment of mine - definitely not a huge favorite. I absolutely LOVED this story though.

The pace is awesome. It isn't too fast, it isn't too slow. It is just...perfect.

I like how believable it is too, most of my incest stories (if not all) are sheer fantasy, and can't really be taken as anything but fantasy. When reading yours though, I can see this really happening, which simply makes it even hotter.

I like how adorable he is! I generally prefer alpha guys, and your male character cannot be considered alpha by any means. He is, however, completely loveable.

I adore the humor in this story. I laughed often, and its rare I find a story that can both arouse me and make me laugh at the same time.

Five starts out of five, awesome job!