Are you dominant or submissive

formertroll said:

Switchy switcherson here

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How do?

Switchy McSwitcherson here, I wonder if we're related?

Neither? More masochistic but not craving submission in any deeper sense.

As I am new to bdsm I feel right now I am a switch. My partner is completely a sub. I enjoy filling the Dom role.

Definitely submissive, but I find it difficult to get there. My controling and pleasing nature gets in the way..

Pretty insecure in real life so full on sub obviously.

Definitely dominant sexually, I naturally like to take charge and I'm lucky to have have someone who revels in that and allows me to fully embrace that during sex

DamHarraway said:

Definitely submissive, but I find it difficult to get there. My controling and pleasing nature gets in the way..

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My ex sub was like that, she was very precise and controlling in every day life..and as a sub, she needed detail to focus on. So, I was very prescriptive, the tasks i set precise...by having something to focus on, bu tno control of, helped her to focus on letting go and fulfilling her other need, to submit and please

formertroll said:

Switchy switcherson here

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Same here. My mood can vary wildly depending upon stress/tiredness/kink etc.


Last week I was dominant with my wife. This week I'm gagging to submit to a CD

DamHarraway said:

Definitely submissive, but I find it difficult to get there. My controling and pleasing nature gets in the way..

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I find it interesting that you feel your pleasing nature gets in the way of being submissive. Would you mind telling a little how it gets in the way?

I'm asking, because for me it's the opposite - my willingness to please is key to my submissiveness.

I'm not suggesting what you're feeling is weird or wrong in any way, I'm just genuinely curious about it.

I am naturally dominant in every day life. I like to decide on plans: where to go, what to eat, what to wear out.
In the bedroom I yearn to submit and be told how to please my partner(s). I have always wanted to try submitting to a male.

Switchy

I'm a bratty switch. I love domming insecure, soft spoken boys with body/foot/ass worship and mindfucking, etc. And when it comes to being a sub I'm a babygirl to the core. <3 Any true Daddy will make me melt. I also love extreme pain, degradation, and watersports

I switch really, sometimes I like control then others I'm happy to be a complete cuckold bitch offering up myself to the guy fucking my wife. Just depends on the mood/day/fantasy!

.............

Submissive

Help me find out...please?

Caligirl90 said:

Help me find out...please?

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I'd love to.

I'll say Dom. I'm in that sexless marriage group. so i'm always horny. would love to have a sub that i could tell how to please me and listen. Dont think i want to tie them up cause i want there hands free to caress my body and ensure i get the pleasure i need. One that can swallow a 8 cock and enjoy giving me that pleasure. I better stop i'm getting horny as hell...

I'm naturally Submissive sexually and have been since my teens x as an older woman have attended sex and dungeon parties with my now ex-hubby who was Dom/Cuckold, have experienced so much and enjoyed most experences but still have more boxes to tick x x x

simpledude said:

Pretty insecure in real life so full on sub obviously.

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Nope. Sorry.
Insecurity doesn’t mean you’re submissive. You know how many insecure men and women play at Domming?

AlwaysFara said:

Nope. Sorry.
Insecurity doesn’t mean you’re submissive. You know how many insecure men and women play at Domming?

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I'm pretty insecure, but i get decent reviews on yelp.

While I have always preferred that my partner take the lead sexually, I have submitted to only one.

Definitely dominate.

Dominant here. Love that control.

simpledude said:

Pretty insecure in real life so full on sub obviously.

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When you are timid in your day to day life, you can be reserved or even submissive in your sexual life. Many times, you just want someone else to take charge, because you aren't that assertive.

But, that doesn't mean you are for sure submissive. Many submissives are far from insecure in their day to day lives. They know what they want and they actually are the ones who go out looking for someone to be their dominant.

They will actually interview people, talk to them and ask specific questions, to find out about their personality. It's sometimes vaguely similar to a police interview, asking questions and watching their body language and listening to the answer at the same time.

It's very important to find someone that fits their sexual desires and there are so many wannabees out there who like to say they are experienced doms and have done this and that and know what they're doing. Unfortunately, that isn't being very helpful, when a submissive is trying to find a partner.

I guess it's partly an ego thing and partly a desire to just get to have sex with somebody that makes people lie about their experience. Of course, a submissive doesn't want a newbie for her dom, if she can find an experienced one, instead.

Newbies make mistakes. Newbies sometimes can't control their desires. Newbies sometimes don't listen to safe words. Not that experienced people don't also do these things, but they aren't as likely to. Any of these things can be dangerous to a submissive.

So, just because you are pretty insecure in your day to day life, you might be amazed to find out that with a little experience, you might become less insecure. Finding out about your sexual desires and fulfilling your fantasies can really do a lot to help you be a more secure and confident person.

Sometimes, you can be the opposite in your sex live than you are in your day to day live. So, if you are reserved during the day, there could be a time when you become confident enough to assert yourself sexually. Our deep inner sexual desires can fool us. Experiment a little bit. That's really the only way to know for sure.

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