8letters
Writing
- Joined
- May 27, 2013
- Posts
- 2,108
Story is here. Please leave any thoughts you have on it.
The story behind the story
Someone told me long ago that the Chevrolet brand got its name from one of its founder (actually co-founder). I started with the idea of a brother and a sister having the name of Chevrolet, wondering how people would react to that. That led to the idea of a cop pulling the brother over and not believing his last name was really Chevrolet. The story was just that opening scene for a long time.
Then I had the idea of a long sex scene in the back of a minivan. I don’t know where it came from - I’ve personally never done anything in a minivan. It was an idea I found quite sexually exciting and I happily spent a lot of time stretching it out in my mind and filling in details.
So I had a beginning and an end, but nothing to connect them. I could have put the end with any other beginning.
I love reading incest stories, but something that bothers me about many incest stories is that they are so unrealistic. Yeah, a loving incestuous relationship is unrealistic, but I’m talking about the setup to the story. She’s a smoking hot babe; he’s a handsome hunk; neither of them can get a date. They get along great. He tells her, “Nice shoes” and then they’re banging away in bed, declaring their true love for each other.
I think I’ve learned to address the first issue - having some reason why the brother and sister are available for each other. For this story, I quickly came up with the idea that she wasn’t dating anyone because she couldn’t find any smart athletes to date. For Todd, I came up with his relationship ended with his girlfriend Mandy in a way that he wasn’t sure that it was really over and would only go out with someone who was special. I’ll discuss Todd and Mandy some more later.
I’ve been as bad as anyone about my brothers and sisters getting along so well that it’s a trivial step for their relationship to become romantic. I wanted it to be different in this story. I thought it would work particularly well in this case as the opening scene showed the irritation and frustration the brother feels towards his sister.
I came up with the idea of the sister setting up the brother on a blind date and then showing up as his blind date. I thought it would be a fairly common story line. However when I was done with the story, I did some searching on Literotica and I couldn’t find any comparable stories.
The names were at random. I thought Ashlynne would make a good name for a cheerleader. I checked to see on the SSA baby name web site and discovered that most common spellings for that name were “Ashlyn” and “Ashlynn”. I almost changed the name to “Ashlynn” when I decide to go with an alternative spelling. I see non-standard spellings of girl names all the time. Todd at one point thinks, “I had loved to mock her about not being able to spell her own name correctly.”
I wrapped up the story and sent it out to beta-readers. I felt good about the story. I felt the sex scene was extremely hot. First beta-reader gave it a big thumbs up. Second beta-reader ripped the story. He thought Todd was whiny and immature. At that point, I had Todd party too much freshmen year and then get serious about academics, but lose all of his partying friends. Mandy was a fellow engineering major who was in a car accident, dropped out of school and Todd felt like he should continue to date to support her even though there wasn’t much of a relationship.
After that feedback, I did a massive overhaul of the story. Mandy was changed to a great girlfriend who disappears off to Europe. As I was doing the re-write, the Stanford swimmer case was in the news and the Baylor football coach was fired. That got me thinking about positive consent and I decided to incorporate that into my story. After writing about it, I’ve come to the conclusion that Todd comes to - something should be done but the positive consent every time every step standard isn’t workable.
In the original version, Todd and Ashlynne have the fight at the golf course, they make up right afterward, finish the round of golf then go off to Ashlynne’s friend’s house and fuck. I decided that wasn’t realistic. I decided that the date had to end after the fight at the golf course and that Todd would take Ashlynne to her friends house and drop her off.
Is I was writing that drop off scene, I had Todd offering Ashlynne a deal like in the original version. In the original, she immediately accepted it. In the re-write, I decided she’d turn it down. Prior to that, Ashlynne didn’t have much of a personality - she was a smart cheerleader, which was what Todd was looking for. She wanted Todd because he was a smart athlete. As I re-wrote their reconciliation, I discovered Ashlynne’s personality. I had never done that before.
I enjoyed writing about Todd and Ashlynne doing things together post-fight. I felt it established a true attraction that made the rest of the story make sense. Now, I had to come up with an idea for their second date. Eventually, I came up with going to a auto show. That give them an opportunity to talk while on the date and it played into their last name. It was a lot of fun writing that scene, letting Ashlynne act crazy.
I re-wrote the sex scene to fit my new vision of Ashlynne’s personality and it worked much stronger. The ending in the original version didn’t make a lot of sense, so I re-wrote it to fit my new vision of Ashlynne’s personality and it worked my better.
Story clarifications
* When Todd admits that he’s crazy about Ashlynne, she decides that she doesn’t want this to be a one-night thing, that she wants to be Todd’s girl
* The more Todd tries to convince her that there are other guys out there for her, the more he convinces her that he’s the only one for her
* When Ashlynne slides her pussy lips up and down Todd’s dick is the first time she thinks about fucking. She decides to do it then. She wants Todd as her boyfriend and thinks that’s the way to seal the deal. And she really wants to fuck
What happens next?
This is where I’d put what I imagine would happen if I continued story. I’m not going to say anything this time as I’m working on a sequel.
What do I particularly like about this story?
* I liked the idea of the back of a minivan as the setting for all of the sex
* In almost every brother-sister story, there’s never the messiness of a actual brother-sister relationship - the inevitable fights that happen growing up in the same household with limited resources. I’m as guilty as anyone. In this story, it’s front-and-center. Todd and Ashlynne had fought tooth and nail for years and years and they don’t know at first how to relate to each other now that they’re not fighting for reasons they’re not too sure about
* I really liked the date at the auto show
* I liked how the reader sees Todd and Ashlynne getting closer and closer through the story and eventually falling for each other
What do I think I might get grief about?
* This story has lots of elements that are the same as “My Day As A Pool Boy”. Both have the main female lead being the high school valedictorian and who will be a pre-med major. Both have a football player as the villain of the story. Alex in “My Day As A Pool Boy” is consistently controlling whereas Ashlynne is sometimes controlling
* I have another story, “My European Summer Vacation” that I’m going to submit about the same time who has a female lead who loves being in control. Not sure if people will find that too close to Ashlynne’s personality
What were the inspirations for the sex scenes?
None
What of note got cut from this story?
So much got cut during the re-write. I’ve covered some of it above, but there was even more.
Major editing changes for the story as it was written?
Like I said, it had a major re-write.
Any other notes?
Writing it and re-writing it put the story close to the window for the 2016 Summer Lovin’ contest. I decided to submit it to that as it definitely fits that theme. Then I decided to post it before the contest to compare results for this story with the story I will submit.
I’m looking for a new editor
The editor I worked with until recently is no longer responding to emails. My work is typically long but easy to edit as most of my errors are small things like leaving out a word and using two words instead of one, e.g. “night shirt” instead of “nightshirt”. I’d love an editor who is (1) a big fan of my writing, (2) technically very competent and (3) wants to go back and forth with me to improve my writing.
If you are interested, shoot me a PM. Include an email address or be sure that your Literotica account allows you to receive PM’s (the default is to reject them). Tell me how you would have edited this story differently.
I’m looking for beta-readers
I’ll send you five stories that I have partially written and you give me your thoughts on them so far including how you would rank them. I’ll use that to determine which story to publish next and how to improve it.
The story behind the story
Someone told me long ago that the Chevrolet brand got its name from one of its founder (actually co-founder). I started with the idea of a brother and a sister having the name of Chevrolet, wondering how people would react to that. That led to the idea of a cop pulling the brother over and not believing his last name was really Chevrolet. The story was just that opening scene for a long time.
Then I had the idea of a long sex scene in the back of a minivan. I don’t know where it came from - I’ve personally never done anything in a minivan. It was an idea I found quite sexually exciting and I happily spent a lot of time stretching it out in my mind and filling in details.
So I had a beginning and an end, but nothing to connect them. I could have put the end with any other beginning.
I love reading incest stories, but something that bothers me about many incest stories is that they are so unrealistic. Yeah, a loving incestuous relationship is unrealistic, but I’m talking about the setup to the story. She’s a smoking hot babe; he’s a handsome hunk; neither of them can get a date. They get along great. He tells her, “Nice shoes” and then they’re banging away in bed, declaring their true love for each other.
I think I’ve learned to address the first issue - having some reason why the brother and sister are available for each other. For this story, I quickly came up with the idea that she wasn’t dating anyone because she couldn’t find any smart athletes to date. For Todd, I came up with his relationship ended with his girlfriend Mandy in a way that he wasn’t sure that it was really over and would only go out with someone who was special. I’ll discuss Todd and Mandy some more later.
I’ve been as bad as anyone about my brothers and sisters getting along so well that it’s a trivial step for their relationship to become romantic. I wanted it to be different in this story. I thought it would work particularly well in this case as the opening scene showed the irritation and frustration the brother feels towards his sister.
I came up with the idea of the sister setting up the brother on a blind date and then showing up as his blind date. I thought it would be a fairly common story line. However when I was done with the story, I did some searching on Literotica and I couldn’t find any comparable stories.
The names were at random. I thought Ashlynne would make a good name for a cheerleader. I checked to see on the SSA baby name web site and discovered that most common spellings for that name were “Ashlyn” and “Ashlynn”. I almost changed the name to “Ashlynn” when I decide to go with an alternative spelling. I see non-standard spellings of girl names all the time. Todd at one point thinks, “I had loved to mock her about not being able to spell her own name correctly.”
I wrapped up the story and sent it out to beta-readers. I felt good about the story. I felt the sex scene was extremely hot. First beta-reader gave it a big thumbs up. Second beta-reader ripped the story. He thought Todd was whiny and immature. At that point, I had Todd party too much freshmen year and then get serious about academics, but lose all of his partying friends. Mandy was a fellow engineering major who was in a car accident, dropped out of school and Todd felt like he should continue to date to support her even though there wasn’t much of a relationship.
After that feedback, I did a massive overhaul of the story. Mandy was changed to a great girlfriend who disappears off to Europe. As I was doing the re-write, the Stanford swimmer case was in the news and the Baylor football coach was fired. That got me thinking about positive consent and I decided to incorporate that into my story. After writing about it, I’ve come to the conclusion that Todd comes to - something should be done but the positive consent every time every step standard isn’t workable.
In the original version, Todd and Ashlynne have the fight at the golf course, they make up right afterward, finish the round of golf then go off to Ashlynne’s friend’s house and fuck. I decided that wasn’t realistic. I decided that the date had to end after the fight at the golf course and that Todd would take Ashlynne to her friends house and drop her off.
Is I was writing that drop off scene, I had Todd offering Ashlynne a deal like in the original version. In the original, she immediately accepted it. In the re-write, I decided she’d turn it down. Prior to that, Ashlynne didn’t have much of a personality - she was a smart cheerleader, which was what Todd was looking for. She wanted Todd because he was a smart athlete. As I re-wrote their reconciliation, I discovered Ashlynne’s personality. I had never done that before.
I enjoyed writing about Todd and Ashlynne doing things together post-fight. I felt it established a true attraction that made the rest of the story make sense. Now, I had to come up with an idea for their second date. Eventually, I came up with going to a auto show. That give them an opportunity to talk while on the date and it played into their last name. It was a lot of fun writing that scene, letting Ashlynne act crazy.
I re-wrote the sex scene to fit my new vision of Ashlynne’s personality and it worked much stronger. The ending in the original version didn’t make a lot of sense, so I re-wrote it to fit my new vision of Ashlynne’s personality and it worked my better.
Story clarifications
* When Todd admits that he’s crazy about Ashlynne, she decides that she doesn’t want this to be a one-night thing, that she wants to be Todd’s girl
* The more Todd tries to convince her that there are other guys out there for her, the more he convinces her that he’s the only one for her
* When Ashlynne slides her pussy lips up and down Todd’s dick is the first time she thinks about fucking. She decides to do it then. She wants Todd as her boyfriend and thinks that’s the way to seal the deal. And she really wants to fuck
What happens next?
This is where I’d put what I imagine would happen if I continued story. I’m not going to say anything this time as I’m working on a sequel.
What do I particularly like about this story?
* I liked the idea of the back of a minivan as the setting for all of the sex
* In almost every brother-sister story, there’s never the messiness of a actual brother-sister relationship - the inevitable fights that happen growing up in the same household with limited resources. I’m as guilty as anyone. In this story, it’s front-and-center. Todd and Ashlynne had fought tooth and nail for years and years and they don’t know at first how to relate to each other now that they’re not fighting for reasons they’re not too sure about
* I really liked the date at the auto show
* I liked how the reader sees Todd and Ashlynne getting closer and closer through the story and eventually falling for each other
What do I think I might get grief about?
* This story has lots of elements that are the same as “My Day As A Pool Boy”. Both have the main female lead being the high school valedictorian and who will be a pre-med major. Both have a football player as the villain of the story. Alex in “My Day As A Pool Boy” is consistently controlling whereas Ashlynne is sometimes controlling
* I have another story, “My European Summer Vacation” that I’m going to submit about the same time who has a female lead who loves being in control. Not sure if people will find that too close to Ashlynne’s personality
What were the inspirations for the sex scenes?
None
What of note got cut from this story?
So much got cut during the re-write. I’ve covered some of it above, but there was even more.
Major editing changes for the story as it was written?
Like I said, it had a major re-write.
Any other notes?
Writing it and re-writing it put the story close to the window for the 2016 Summer Lovin’ contest. I decided to submit it to that as it definitely fits that theme. Then I decided to post it before the contest to compare results for this story with the story I will submit.
I’m looking for a new editor
The editor I worked with until recently is no longer responding to emails. My work is typically long but easy to edit as most of my errors are small things like leaving out a word and using two words instead of one, e.g. “night shirt” instead of “nightshirt”. I’d love an editor who is (1) a big fan of my writing, (2) technically very competent and (3) wants to go back and forth with me to improve my writing.
If you are interested, shoot me a PM. Include an email address or be sure that your Literotica account allows you to receive PM’s (the default is to reject them). Tell me how you would have edited this story differently.
I’m looking for beta-readers
I’ll send you five stories that I have partially written and you give me your thoughts on them so far including how you would rank them. I’ll use that to determine which story to publish next and how to improve it.
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