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Let's Talk About 'Gentle' FemDom

LizVegas79 said:
You should see some of the PM's I have to write when my avatar or profile pic is a pic of my feet! The dirty filthy naughty pervs on here need to be put in their place and publically (rather than privately) humiliated I say! ;) :)
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Promises, promises. ;)
 
Train him

Zionisacat said:
d) tie him up, straddle his chest and masturbate yourself to orgasm mere inches away from his mouth and lips. Nipple clamps/clothes pegs are optional.
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Tell him now you are the boss! Order him to wash your underthings by hand, tell him he doesn’t get any unless he begs you for it and explains why he deserves some. Tell him that’s not good enough reason than make him lye besides you and suck your toes while training him not to use his teeth with your longs sounder switch.
 
Gfd

I have begun to enjoy cross dressing. My idea of GFD is a woman who will dress me and teach me how to do makeup. then I would be her sub and serve her and her wishes. I would do for her and her friends but I don't want the harshness of violent domination. I enjoy nipple play and squeezing of the testicles but not to the point of extreme pain. Some paddling and mild bondage but not painful activities. I want to be dominated and used but i don't want extreme pain or bodily harm.
 
Peeking my head in here to say hello and that I’ve subscribed but it will take me a little while to read the whole thread. :D

Hubby and I have started to dabble in the BDSM fun recently, and some of (specifically his) newly uncovered interests are leading us down a more F/m path than we’ve enjoyed up until now.

Anyway, I’ll contribute more here soon, but right now I wanted to say hello and that I’m lurking and so appreciate this thread and the genuineness shared here! :rose:
 
I too wanted to say what a valuable thread this is. My wife and both have followed it, and I've just joined up. So thanks to all who have shared so much great insight!
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
**How do you see 'Gentle' FemDom being different from the more traditional type of feminine domination?
**Why is it appealing?
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The "slave" type FemDom is not appealing to me at all. What I like and what I would consider "Gentle FemDom" is a bit of pain (not too much obviously) applied at the right time; ie, just prior to orgasm. For example, after pre-cum starts oozing out, I like to have my balls thumped, slapped, or squeezed just hard enough to make them ache slightly, but obviously not enough to really hurt because that would spoil the mood entirely. I suppose mild pain applied elsewhere might also work, but a bit of pain at the right time seems to magnify the pleasure.
 
Ahh, now this is an interesting thread.
For me it's always been about the strong sexual energy and power a woman can exude. I find it extremely attractive.

I've never been about FemDom in the classic Hollywood sense - whips, licking boots, receiving pain, etc. My preference was always towards the softer, sensual side and her dominance coming from a place of love, desire and sexual strength rather than manipulation, findom or subjugation. Hypnotizing me with her eyes, dragging her fingernails across my cheek, sensuously kissing me. Getting her way with feminine wiles, not force. I want her to make me want to serve her, not be forced into service.

I love intimacy of all kinds, but oral service is a favorite of mine. I thoroughly enjoy being the sexual apple of her eye. I enjoy learning what she loves and wants, how she likes this done or how to do this or that position to give her the best orgasms. Just knowing I'm the one that gives her such pleasures, and that she loves and appreciates me for that, is deeply satisfying.

My earliest sexual experiences were with a much older woman when I was young and still a virgin. And when I saw virgin, I mean, I had only kissed a girl or two. I was really a virgin. I was taught to pleasure her. I didn't know or understand at that time that she was a dominant and I don't know if she saw herself that way either. She definitely seduced me and had total control.

After that, I was never the same. The die was cast. I tried other fetishes and styles. Some faded, some remain. Sensual domination has always been the anchor. Unfortunately, it's an extremely difficult thing to find and I'd say I've been mostly left unsatisfied. Just as there are men that lie and play games and really abuse their females, there are so, so many females that do it to men. Trust me! It's either they can't be dominant without pegging or inflicting pain, etc. or it's buy me this, buy me that or something to do with the bank account. :mad:
 
LizVegas79 said:
You should see some of the PM's I have to write when my avatar or profile pic is a pic of my feet! The dirty filthy naughty pervs on here need to be put in their place and publically (rather than privately) humiliated I say! ;) :)
Click to expand...

Wheeze. I'm feeling quite dizzy :D
 
I have absolutely zero experience in this area, but I have been curious about having a woman introduce me to the world of femdom gradually (or gently).
 
reallyunsure said:
Mostly, "gentle" femdom seems to be people who are into F/m (or F/f, but "femdom" usually means F/m), but aren't into the ridiculously fetishized black-leather-and-heels-and-whips stuff - you know, the stuff that, despite putting the F in charge, still somehow requires way more work from her than from the m.

That's the impression that I get, anyway.
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This is how I feel!! My husband asks me to dominate him but I feel like most of the work then is left to me. I’ve never heard of the gentle femdom until now but that sounds like what I’d like to see in my relationship. I like the idea of being in control mostly but when it comes time for the act then it just feels disingenuous and forced, it’s like I get shy. Anyone else experience this? Anyone have tips or advice on how to get over that?
 
We will try again because it is a great thread.

Tried to send a reply earlier. Was too long. We now know more.For us their is no difference between gentle femdom and domination.They are both deliciously exhaustive and overpowering. More to follow if desired. Says the Predator and her Prey:D
Wild_Honey_66 said:
Welcome - shall we begin? :)

I have a few questions, but it would be great if the gentlemen chiming in here could give us just the tiniest bit of an intro by way of including their age and how they became interested in FemDom (gentle or otherwise). Thank you!

**How do you see 'Gentle' FemDom being different from the more traditional type of feminine domination?

**Why is it appealing?

**What does a 'gentle' Domme look like to you? How does she behave?

**What do you look for in a GFD relationship? What do you hope to get out of it?

**How do you see it fitting into your life - bedroom only, or lifestyle?
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It's been a while since i checked in here. Welcome, everyone! :)

cheeky86 said:
This is how I feel!! My husband asks me to dominate him but I feel like most of the work then is left to me. I’ve never heard of the gentle femdom until now but that sounds like what I’d like to see in my relationship. I like the idea of being in control mostly but when it comes time for the act then it just feels disingenuous and forced, it’s like I get shy. Anyone else experience this? Anyone have tips or advice on how to get over that?
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May i make a suggestion? Think of the roles of Domme and sub as separate and independent from the roles of top and bottom. Or if it's easier to grasp, active and passive. You can certainly instruct your partner to actively ravage you while maintaining your role as Dominant. You may have to brainstorm with him to find the wording that will work for both of you, but with a little creativity, everybody's needs stand a good chance of being met. Thoughts? :)
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
Welcome - shall we begin? :)

I have a few questions, but it would be great if the gentlemen chiming in here could give us just the tiniest bit of an intro by way of including their age and how they became interested in FemDom (gentle or otherwise). Thank you!

**How do you see 'Gentle' FemDom being different from the more traditional type of feminine domination?

**Why is it appealing?

**What does a 'gentle' Domme look like to you? How does she behave?

**What do you look for in a GFD relationship? What do you hope to get out of it?

**How do you see it fitting into your life - bedroom only, or lifestyle?
Click to expand...

How I became interested:

Boo, 62, I probably first discovered something about power dynamics in sexuality from reading erotica. I was a junior in College - a long time ago - when I discovered the paperback of The Pearl:

https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Pearl

And while, I reckoned some of the alternative practices described in the literature a bit peculiar, I still found the stories exciting. There were, I realized, some sexual things that I might not want to do that I still enjoyed reading about. I commend ‘Miss Coote’s Confessions’ to your attention.

Probably, I learned that there was a thing called or recognized as FemDom by encountering the term surfing internet erotica and porn sites maybe as much as 20 years ago.

How is GFD different:

I don’t know. Less caning, more face-sitting?

Why it is appealing:

I cannot explain. I found some of the ideas stimulating 40 years ago, and I still do.

Four Inter-related Questions in the Middle:

She takes charge of the sexual pleasure, dictates what will happen, gets on top, blows his mind while pleasing herself. She may objectify him. Personally, I’ve never looked for a GFD relationship, but when I’ve been gently dominated, I have had some very gratifying and memorable experiences. What do I get? I get my clock cleaned!

How would it fit:

In my mind, mostly as a bedroom game. I like when she takes charge in the bedroom from time to time.

I do not like being told what to do, or how to do it in daily life. My current partner and I met later in life. I was a more or less self-sufficient bachelor for 30 before I met her. I do not want or need to constantly be instructed. (She does anyway, but I often do not appreciate it.) As a lifestyle, it’s over-rated; as a bedroom technique, it’s fabulous.

That’s my two cents.
 
CuckVoyager said:
Ahh, now this is an interesting thread.
For me it's always been about the strong sexual energy and power a woman can exude. I find it extremely attractive.

"I've never been about FemDom in the classic Hollywood sense - whips, licking boots, receiving pain, etc. My preference was always towards the softer, sensual side and her dominance coming from a place of love, desire and sexual strength rather than manipulation, findom or subjugation. Hypnotizing me with her eyes, dragging her fingernails across my cheek, sensuously kissing me. Getting her way with feminine wiles, not force. I want her to make me want to serve her, not be forced into service."

This is how I feel as well. I want her to use me for her pleasure, to be everything and anything she wants, when she wants it, where she wants. I derive immense pleasure from being her "boy toy."
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"Woman's power lies in man's passion"

This is from another thread and to me, says so much.
When I am aroused, I will do anything my wife wants. She has absolute control over me and I love it. She is loving and she knows my pleasure is in giving her pleasure.
 
Erosfan said:
"Woman's power lies in man's passion"

This is from another thread and to me, says so much.
When I am aroused, I will do anything my wife wants. She has absolute control over me and I love it. She is loving and she knows my pleasure is in giving her pleasure.
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Unbeknownst to me and my wife, this is exactly how we are, or at least I am. However, having been sexually repressed it never dawned to either one that there is a sexual side to all this... I am slowly trying to embrace it and communicate my desires without overwhelming her. My hope is that she will embrace topping me.
 
Stilllearning2b said:
Unbeknownst to me and my wife, this is exactly how we are, or at least I am. However, having been sexually repressed it never dawned to either one that there is a sexual side to all this... I am slowly trying to embrace it and communicate my desires without overwhelming her. My hope is that she will embrace topping me.
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We are working on this as well. I've had a difficult time trying to find a way to communicate my feelings. We have talked about this quite a bit and we haven't ventured too far into it. I am patient and determined. I am staying the course in hopes of getting her to fully embrace the possibilities.
 
Define gentle... My two cents worth

I think that one of the errors in thinking is to believe that "gentle" also means "boring." In the day and age if "50 shades," many are under the impression that one must be cruel or use pain as a means to submission.

The most rewarding experience I had in my training about two decades ago, was a night in which the woman training me to be dominant, taught me what submission does to the mind. She did so, not with pain, but with soft, nurturing, almost motherly behavior.

I was led through a role-playing scene whrein I was a virgin, being persuaded in the uses of my body, by an older woman. There was light bondage, massage, edging and denial, even spanking.

I was taught the verbal commands, taught how to bring the right response, etc. It was done without any harshness.

I think that you can command a submissive with "gentle" means just as effectively as with pain. And it is a nice physical and mental break for the Doinant as well.

Age play is one of the examples of this idea. The "Mommy" or "Daddy" dom scenarios produce a submissive attitude in the one being the "baby." The submissive gives complete control and even lives in a state of complete dependence on the will of the Dominant.
 
cheeky86 said:
This is how I feel!! My husband asks me to dominate him but I feel like most of the work then is left to me. I’ve never heard of the gentle femdom until now but that sounds like what I’d like to see in my relationship. I like the idea of being in control mostly but when it comes time for the act then it just feels disingenuous and forced, it’s like I get shy. Anyone else experience this? Anyone have tips or advice on how to get over that?
Click to expand...

Nothing forced here. I love my wife and I want to do anything and everything to please her. She doesn't need to "work" at it. I love making her feel good in any way she wants or needs. She only has to show me the way.
 
She must be knowledgeable patient and sneaky in order to gradually seduce him into becoming feminizes. Finding a good post hypnotic file like Bambi hypno doll helps set the mood. Sensitizing other areas of his body to your desires is good too. Then help him to look on the outside the way he is feeling on the inside
 
I'm resurrecting this thread (which I'm also intending to read through when I have the time), mostly as the result of a funny little experience I had. I've been seeing a bit of a guy since the beginning of the year (that whole story is in my own ongoing thread ... although even I've gotten a bit bored with the drama of it all). The last couple of months have been a bit rocky at my end, and dealing with that has been complicated by the fact that it's super-casual. Last week I actually just gave up, and decided I wasn't going to bother contacting him again, and given that I was doing pretty much all the contacting, I assume that it would just fade out. The last couple of months I've been a bit sad about the whole situation, but by last week I was just irritated, because he really was being a bit of a dick.

Anyway, completely unexpectedly he contacted me yesterday, and I'm expecting he'll want to see me again. I still haven't quite worked out what to do about that (the sex has always been really really great, so it's not super easy to just walked away), but when I went to bed last night I ended up having the hottest fantasy about having him handcuffed to the bed and screwing with him a bit - masturbating until I came inches from his face, straddling his face and telling him to make me cum, teasing his cock but only barely touching it ... basically just driving him a bit mad. It's sort of weird, because I'm usually on the s side of the d/s equation, although I have switched a bit in the past, with other guys. (And there's been indication from him that he has sub tendencies as well.)

So, my question is ... if I do give him another shot, would this be a legitimate way to regain some control over the situation (something I've lacked a bit in the last wee while), or is domming someone because I'm bit irritated with them a fundamentally bad idea? (Obviously he'd have a safe word, and everything would be consensual, and actually the cuffs are just velcro, so really he could get out whenever he wanted to.)
I should add that if I do give him another shot, it's only going to be after a proper conversation setting out some parameters for things going forward, so the sex isn't what will be 'fixing' the situation - that'll be done with talking, like actual adults.
 
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KimGordon67 said:
So, my question is ... if I do give him another shot, would this be a legitimate way to regain some control over the situation (something I've lacked a bit in the last wee while), or is domming someone because I'm bit irritated with them a fundamentally bad idea? (Obviously he'd have a safe word, and everything would be consensual, and actually the cuffs are just velcro, so really he could get out whenever he wanted to.)
I should add that if I do give him another shot, it's only going to be after a proper conversation setting out some parameters for things going forward, so the sex isn't what will be 'fixing' the situation - that'll be done with talking, like actual adults.
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If I'm reading you correctly here, I think your idea could indeed work out quite well. My take on it would be that since he isn't exactly being particularly assertive or forward in making the relationship go anywhere in particular, perhaps it would be easier if you took a bit more of a lead role. Obviously that's assuming that the chemistry is there, and there aren't any more fundamental obstacles keeping him from reaching out more to you. Like perhaps he's is just a a bit shy or unsure how to proceed, or perhaps it has to do with his sub tendencies, rather than something that's a more serious like a fear of getting too involved or committed. Maybe he just needs some clear direction from you, showing/telling him what you want? He can then choose to either agree to that or not. I think simple often works well for lots of people, men in particular.
 
naughtymind said:
If I'm reading you correctly here, I think your idea could indeed work out quite well. My take on it would be that since he isn't exactly being particularly assertive or forward in making the relationship go anywhere in particular, perhaps it would be easier if you took a bit more of a lead role. Obviously that's assuming that the chemistry is there, and there aren't any more fundamental obstacles keeping him from reaching out more to you. Like perhaps he's is just a a bit shy or unsure how to proceed, or perhaps it has to do with his sub tendencies, rather than something that's a more serious like a fear of getting too involved or committed. Maybe he just needs some clear direction from you, showing/telling him what you want? He can then choose to either agree to that or not. I think simple often works well for lots of people, men in particular.
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This is a very generous reading of the situation. The thing that's stopping him 'reaching out to me more' is that he just doesn't feel like it, and the fact that I need at least *some* indication that he's actually into me doesn't seem to be a concern. Possibly underneath that is the fact that he doesn't want get involved ... I truly have no idea what the actual reasons are.
The problem for me is that I've lost control of things. We're in that stupid situation where because he cares less, he gets to call all the shots. And I don't like that.
 
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