What are your biggest turn offs? In reading, writing or real life.

Real Life:
Arrogance. (Strong self confidence is encouraged)

Fiction:
Poor grammar and terrible spelling

Both:
Humiliation/Degradation.
Also OPs top two

Real life: when my wife has too much to drink, mean and nasty bitch

incest is considered a crime in many places for reasons that go beyond biology. In the U.K. if you are a step parent who has lived with step child for certain period of time during their childhood, it’s still classed as incestuous sexual abuse. I can’t remember every expansion of that but i think it includes wider family or persons who lived in home contributing to child’s upbringing also. Hard to remember the entire sexual offences act and all its amendments!

As a survivor of incest I’ve roleplayed it. What can I say but daddy-mommy issues. I’ve age-played as well. The latter being more generally offensive I think.

I didn’t used to have any hard lines. I’m building them in. Breath play is first one. Looking at stuff related to that scared the living crap out of me. I’ve been suffocated before but what I saw was beyond anything else.

I don’t like demeaning words or practices. Nothing turns me off faster irl and in books etc.

Fiction or IRL mine are similar, some but not all are;

° bad diction
° illiteracy - nothing worse than having to re-read a saucy text or email half a dozen times to decipher "txt spk m8"
° vacuous personality - met some beautiful girls over the years who were either not that bright, or obsessed with material items. Same cumulative effect for me; nothing to chat about and nothing to figure out or delve deeper into
° narcissistic personality - if the world revolves around you, then make yourself cum. I aint interested.
° Skat. In any shape or form
° insistence. If I answered "no" the first 6x then asking/telling again and again, won't change it
° Uber skinny girls/freckles/baby girl voices. All of them are an immediate no no
° guys with small cocks or lots of hair. Same again

Real life

Tight white Y fronts, with a bright yellow pee stain I had a full body shudder and still do whenever it flashes back!

Another one has come to the fore IRL. A female who claims she's "totally submissive" and "wanted to serve".

Even during basic chat regarding parameters, kinks, and tastes she's already about a dozen times stormed off in a huff, replied with "I'm done talking to you" about six times... And keeps saying;

"I'll do exactly as I want"

And

"Men always do what I want"

Sorry darling, but if just chatting about kinks is this hard without you taking offence, and your intelligence isn't enough to refrain from answering every question aggressive/dismissive or completely missing the point... I'm not putting any effort in.

Biggest turnoffs in reading/writing: In reading, its Rape/non-consent, or creepy incest. The former is disturbing, and the latter really isnt my thing.

In writing, its things like run-on paragraphs with confusing or poorly edited wording (or in some cases, badly translated from some other language to English.) Or just plain crude, juvenile porn with no real quality or substance to it. You know, the kind of stories that read like they were written by Beavis and Butthead.

In real life, its: "Go Buy me stuff! Buy me this! Buy me that! Money, money, money!"

Nothing wrong with being generous of course, that is a virtue, but nobody should feel compelled to be a sugar daddy. Unless they want to be.

In all three:

For me it is the idea rhat the "Neanderthal Hookup" is a thing.

"Hey, bitch, you wanna fuck?"

"Oh, yeah, daddy, let me suck you off in the bathroim of this bar, then you can take me home and rape me. "

"Damn straight, slut, hit those knees!"

Seriously.... But I hear teen boys talking like that's how it shoukd be.

Makes me puke.

The word 'sex' as a synonym for vagina. I think it must be an American thing because I've never come across it irl. I don't know why but whenever it comes up in a story it feels like nails on a chalkboard.

As for real life, someone who 'tops from the bottom' is my biggest turn off. Either you're my sub or not, confusing things just breaks the scene.

Wife takes shit

My biggest turn off is when a person, who I fancy contacting with a personal message, includes a whole bunch of petty dislikes in their profile. I just ignore such people. If they are so closed minded and intolerant, then they are not worth knowing.

Does this attitude make me as bad as them??

Innocentyoungvirgin said:

My biggest turn off is when a person, who I fancy contacting with a personal message, includes a whole bunch of petty dislikes in their profile. I just ignore such people. If they are so closed minded and intolerant, then they are not worth knowing.

Does this attitude make me as bad as them??

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It depends I suppose, is that only one of a whole bunch of petty dislikes?

I hate people who are racist, sexist, bullies, and liars.

Bad tempers. If someone thinks it's okay to yell at me, I turn around and walk away.

I hate women who fart during oral. Not classy

In reading, it would be bad/unrealistic dialogue.

Conrad_Waldorf said:

IRL: Closed minded judgmental people. Oh also people that are consistently late.

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Yes to these, especially people that are consistently late. That shows they have no consideration for others.

1. I don't like to much talking during sex. Something about it distracts me from getting off. Moaning and sounds are fine but I guess because i'm trying to focus on my orgasms and there's neighbors around that I wouldn't want the sex to be to loud. If it gets that loud I start getting distracted. And sometimes I even dry out.

2. When a guy just pulls his dick out. I know it seems like the right thing to do but it comes across as lazy. Like he's just trying to get the sex over with as fast as possible. What's the point in bothering if that's always going to be the same routine?

Maybe next time spice it up, be a little more creative and try it in the kitchen.

3. Getting off to fast before I've even gotten started.

4. Fucking to hard. This actually caused me to not only be sore after wards for several days, but I also got pregnant in the wrong spot. And a male doctor told me a story about how it might not just be my small ovaries it might be his lack of sperm too.

5. Fucking to soft and going down. I know some guys can't help it but there's so many supplements for ed now of days and lubes out there that it wouldn't hurt him to experiment a little bit and learn how to get himself off; so i know, whats going to get him up. If he doesn't tell me beforehand what he likes done, I can't read his mind.

6. Being tied up. Its a weird phobia of mine. Never tried it but something about letting a guy tye me up is frightening because I've heard some stories of women being left there in his room all day. It"s a trust factor and it"s hard to tell which ones i can trust. Plus im super fidgety and ticklish.

7. Feeling a need to be overly aggressive or talkative. I don't mind a conversation if it's interesting or funny but some guys talk to much and i end up sick or with a headace.

8. Judging women by their age and making assumptions. Sometimes you would be suprised that rushing any woman to get pregnant or settle down actually makes them resent you for it early in life because they see you being disrespectful to elders and older women and it just makes them want to party more and continue dating the assholes that you hate.

9. Never letting me take control. You can learn a lot from women with experience, not so much from a virgin. Other then a life time of blue balls until you get married.

10. Calling women whores or thots. This just makes her think your a hypocrite. If you want a woman with less experience that's fine but telling me i'm a slut, is not going to suddenly make me a virgin again. Make up your mind what you want and then I will too.

Wooden toys
Face slapping
Also...
Badly written stories

I have a lot of deal-breakers, but I’ll limit them.

JaneRamsey said:

My top three all across the board are:

1. Incest (pretend or otherwise)
2. Reluctance/non consent (pretend or otherwise)
3. Ball gags (Only them though, not other types of gags.)

Bring any of these up and it's like a big'ol thermonuclear mood killer for me.

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In reading:

1. Anything that pulls me out of the story, e.g. constantly switching tenses or when the author doesn’t know how bras and/or vaginas work. I find it difficult to get into a story when the author thinks DD is the biggest possible cup size and you just have to make the numbers bigger to indicate larger breasts. I’ve rage quit a story because the author described a character as a size two with a 44DD bra, for instance.

2. A strong focus on any sort of bodily fluid, and/or pretty much any sexualized mention of scat/phlegm/vomit. In fairness, this one will squick me out pretty quickly irl, too.

3. Self-aggrandizement of the author.

In real life:

1. Bigotry of any kind, including fetishizing groups of people

2. Egocentrism/binary thinking

3. Ignoring boundaries or otherwise indicating that they don’t take consent seriously, and other indicators that they might be prone to abusive behavior.

In reading:

1. Things that are plain unrealistic in supposed RL situations. Not sure why but the lack of logic is irritating.
   
   RL:
2. Any pain on my nipples. I can't help it, they're extremely sensitive. If there's any pain in that area, I'm immediately turned off. It grosses me out to see nipple rings on others. I can't even imagine that kind of pain.
3. Scat
4. Lies. It encompasses everything. Claiming you're not married when you are, is a huge one and extremely common now on dating sites. Also, telling me you're open to new things/ want to explore, but then you're straight vanilla and won't try anything new. This has happened more than once. Or they say they're 'open' but won't talk about sex. Someone below mentioned this. It's common with men also. I guess they think they'll get laid at least once (not!) and don't care? Lie to me once, you'll lie again. I'm out, no pardons.

I don't like ball gags, choking, heads being held under water, needle play, incest, humiliation, but most of all, I hate lengthy descriptions. A little bit of back story is okay but spend 5 or more paragraphs describing the characters or their jobs and you've lost me.

A question about that last thing: Is there a balance where it is okay to delve into the characters' back story?

When I create a story, I try to give the characters and the story a little context: Make them more "filled out" so to speak, as real people rather than cardboard cutout cookie cutter porn stars. Also, I like having a little back story, and a plot with some twists and developments, to go with the sex scenes. Is this good or bad? I have already had one commentator say no; focus on the sex and go easier on the story.

I suppose it depends on the reader preference- some may wish for pure sex scenes- and to be honest, in some of what I have written, the sex scenes are not the main focus of the story.

PaxNurgle said:

A question about that last thing: Is there a balance where it is okay to delve into the characters' back story?

When I create a story, I try to give the characters and the story a little context: Make them more "filled out" so to speak, as real people rather than cardboard cutout cookie cutter porn stars. Also, I like having a little back story, and a plot with some twists and developments, to go with the sex scenes. Is this good or bad? I have already had one commentator say no; focus on the sex and go easier on the story.

I suppose it depends on the reader preference- some may wish for pure sex scenes- and to be honest, in some of what I have written, the sex scenes are not the main focus of the story.

Click to expand...

I actually like backstory. But, I like it sprinkled throughout, not as the main event. Sometimes you're in the mood to read porn and want to avoid 3d characteristics as that might make the characters too real.

At the same time, when there's a nice balance between narrative and action, back story can flesh out the sex scenes.

So, yea, as a reader, I don't want 5 aimless paragraphs. But, when an author sprinkles details about the characters in between or during the sex scenes, it creates grounded scenes that are hot, yet fleshed out --