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Old 04-21-2018, 05:13 PM   #101
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In terms of audience engagement, it seems like good ol' Kevin and his reluctant mom get the Bronze medal, with the third highest number of posts in a thread on the current How To front page. That's got to be some kind of Literotica record, surely? It's an impressive achievement. If this was Facebook you'd be a sensation .
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Old 04-22-2018, 04:06 AM   #102
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bramblethorn View Post
If you like Piña Colada, and getting caught by your mum
If indecent exposure's what it takes you to come
If you like making love at midnight, in the palm of your hand
Just don't tell Literotica, 'cause they won't understand.
Post of the day. 😂
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Old 04-22-2018, 09:41 PM   #103
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FAPPIN’ FACTS

Almost all the porn photos with spooge plastered on the face or boobs, and 99.9% of those internal, ‘cream-pie’ wank flicks are faked, using either pina colada mix, Cetaphil, or a combination of both.
Sheesh, dude, do you go around telling little children that Santa's really their parents?
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Old 04-23-2018, 01:16 PM   #104
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Post of the day. 😂
This is your 4th post on this thread. Even though I didn't reply to your first one. Go and fish for attention somewhere else. I can tell you're thirsty for it.
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Old 04-23-2018, 01:29 PM   #105
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Originally Posted by PineappleKevin View Post
This is your 4th post on this thread. Even though I didn't reply to your first one. Go and fish for attention somewhere else. I can tell you're thirsty for it.
Hey now, be nice to Rainshine. Treat her like you would your mother. Ok maybe not exactly like that.
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Old 04-23-2018, 01:35 PM   #106
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Originally Posted by PineappleKevin View Post
This is your 4th post on this thread. Even though I didn't reply to your first one. Go and fish for attention somewhere else. I can tell you're thirsty for it.
You’re a little douchetard, aintcha?
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Old 04-23-2018, 02:10 PM   #107
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Originally Posted by PineappleKevin View Post
This is your 4th post on this thread. Even though I didn't reply to your first one. Go and fish for attention somewhere else. I can tell you're thirsty for it.
You want to get off with your mum yet I’m the one thirsty for attention? 😂 Oh boy.
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Old 04-23-2018, 05:42 PM   #108
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So be good and kind to mother,
Now and then have a chat.
Buy her flowers or some candy or a brand new hat.
But maybe you had better let it go at that.
Orrrrrr you may end up with a quite complex complex
And you may end up like Oedipus
I’d rather marry a duck-billed platypus
Than end up like old Oedipus Reeeeex.

Good old Mr Lehrer. Always le mot juste.
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Old 04-23-2018, 10:21 PM   #109
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Originally Posted by PineappleKevin View Post
This is your 4th post on this thread. Even though I didn't reply to your first one. Go and fish for attention somewhere else. I can tell you're thirsty for it.

Oh my.

I sure hope the Lustrous One will survive this spunky retort, ejaculated by Kev the chronic masturbator and sexual abuser of his poor, mistreated mother.
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Old 04-23-2018, 10:27 PM   #110
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I genuinely tried to avoid this thread for days even though I kept seeing it on the board list. Curiosity won out.

Has anybody seen that film 'We need to talk about Kevin'? It might be appropriate.
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Old 04-23-2018, 11:55 PM   #111
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I genuinely tried to avoid this thread for days even though I kept seeing it on the board list. Curiosity won out.

Has anybody seen that film 'We need to talk about Kevin'? It might be appropriate.

I can see where one could draw those parallels, but I think Pinapple Kevin is less the dramatic, psychological thriller Kevin (granted, he has probably slain many a bag of Cheezies), and more Kevin McCallister, all grown up but still ‘home alone’, using his mom’s bedsheets as a wank-sock.
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Old 04-25-2018, 04:01 AM   #112
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You’re a little douchetard, aintcha?
Douchetard will now and forever be in Websters.
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Old 04-26-2018, 03:45 PM   #113
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Kevin hasn't been seen since they arrested that Waffle House shooter in Nashville.

I'm sure it's just a coincidence.
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Old 04-27-2018, 06:56 AM   #114
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Christopher lived with his mom - hmm - NO!!! - maybe?
NO!!!
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Old 05-07-2018, 02:23 AM   #115
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What?!? Are you coaxing your coagulant using some sort of stealthy dry-fist technique?

You gotta lube that bad boy up Kev! Slather on the pina cõlada flavoured water-based lube, liberally. When pumpin’ the wee peni, it should sound like when your ma vigorously mixes a fresh pot of Kraft dinner for you, with her big ol’ wooden spoon.

You keep grippin’ and rippin’ your weenus dry like that, it’s gonna look like you’ve been sticking it in a leatherback sea turtle’s mouth, by the time you’re 24.
Yeah you really need to stop talking like a 17th century poet. It's getting annoying.
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Old 05-07-2018, 02:25 AM   #116
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For fucks sake.

She’s your mother so it stands to reason that you’ve already put her through enough shit without inflicting your incest fantasies on her too.
I sent this comment for a lab analysis and I got the report back.

Saltiness: 50%
Bitterness: 35%
Narcissism: 15%
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Old 05-07-2018, 02:25 AM   #117
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Originally Posted by PineappleKevin View Post
Yeah you really need to stop talking like a 17th century poet. It's getting annoying.
You're back? How's that fapping working for ya?
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Old 05-07-2018, 03:47 AM   #118
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Yeah you really need to stop talking like a 17th century poet. It's getting annoying.
Spoken like a man who has either never read a 17th century poet, or has only read Rochester. Which would be pretty niche. Though the 17th and 18th centuries were massively into pineapples.
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Old 05-07-2018, 03:21 PM   #119
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Spoken like a man who has either never read a 17th century poet, or has only read Rochester. Which would be pretty niche. Though the 17th and 18th centuries were massively into pineapples.
This is true.
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Old 05-08-2018, 01:40 AM   #120
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You're back? How's that fapping working for ya?
I've decided to not go ahead with it. Thanks to a conversation I had with a member on this site. A conversation that was actually helpful btw
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Old 05-08-2018, 01:48 AM   #121
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I've decided to not go ahead with it. Thanks to a conversation I had with a member on this site. A conversation that was actually helpful btw
Excellent. I would give you a high five but I'm slightly concerned where your hand has been.
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Old 05-08-2018, 02:23 AM   #122
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I've decided to not go ahead with it. Thanks to a conversation I had with a member on this site. A conversation that was actually helpful btw
Delighted I could help. You really will be much happier in the institute, and that nice white jacket will help you control those wandering hands. Trust me, after a few years of lovely, tingly electro-therapy, you’ll have forgotten all about your mother. And your childhood. And your name.

It’s better this way, Mr Pineapple. Trust me. Come along now.
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Old 05-08-2018, 02:36 AM   #123
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Yeah you really need to stop talking like a 17th century poet. It's getting annoying.


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Old 05-08-2018, 05:11 AM   #124
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I've decided to not go ahead with it. Thanks to a conversation I had with a member on this site. A conversation that was actually helpful btw
Christ on a bike, it took a conversation off line to convince you it wasn't a clever idea? I'm gob-smacked that five pages on this thread wasn't enough! Mate, you're a legend, most entertaining!
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Old 05-08-2018, 08:03 AM   #125
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Originally Posted by PineappleKevin View Post
I sent this comment for a lab analysis and I got the report back.

Saltiness: 50%
Bitterness: 35%
Narcissism: 15%
I’m starting to think you’ve taken quite a shine to me, Kev. :lovehearteyesemoji:
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