Lit blog

Thank you for the kindness, both El and Tzara.

I've always thought of myself more as an essayist. I don't have much of that work up on Lit cause it's elsewhere, but it's a comfortable form and I'm certainly published a lot more in essays than in "poetry".

It's really nice to have the litblog thread in here, for those times when a story just won't fit into verse.

grazie

bj
 
I know someone whose heart is breaking,
try as she might to smile and shine
her light leaps awhile then gutters
to embers.
I know someone whose light grows dim
the shadows flicker in darkest corners
they call to follow seek out the loss
of light.
I knew someone who followed
and was lost.
 
I keep trying to close her eyes, close her mouth. It has been only minutes, so it isn't as if rictus has set in. I want, no, I need for her to look peaceful. Sleeping, just sleeping, not gone. But she's stubborn, as always, even after death.

Michael says, "Maybe that's just the face she wants to face death with."

He's right of course. As always.
 
I think I would like to go insane. Perhaps I don't need to go there. It may be place I'm already at, kind of like a hick town. I'm living in, oh, let's call it Hickington. I always assumed that very little of the redneckness of Hickington rubbed off on me. Been here most of my life but I'm not really a resident. I'm here as an observer, a reporter. I watch the town, write a poem, send the report back to a less redneck town. Heck, it's not even a town. It's even beyond a metropolis. I'm originally from Planet CeriseNape. So I'm away from my home planet, surviving rather well here in Hickington, thinking I'm free of any hicklet bites. Hicklets are like chiggers. Once you get hicklets, you're all itchy, and you start adding extra syllables to your wur-odds, and doing this hand slappy thing. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

Back to the insanity. My ex worked at a state mental hospital. By some odd coincidence so did Hugo's ex. So I'm pretty sure if I enter the city limits of Insanity and end up at the mental hospital, I won't have to worry about bumping into anymore ex-whatevers. I want to just sit on the front porch, look out at the Insanity mountains, listen to a few Insanity crows, shout out a "Howdy!" to my fellow Insanity town folks. Insanity is bound to be more blissful right now than the happenings in Hickington. Ah, a vacation to Insanity.
 
My kids spend most of the summer at Grandma's Party Camp. My 10-year-old called me from my mom's a little while ago. She was crying. I forgot today was the 8th. It's been exactly two years since their dad died. She asked me to buy flowers and put it on their dad's grave. I don't know what kind of flowers. He was always planting flowers. I still have have a garden on the side of the house and in the front yard, with bob bob buds that bloom every spring. Too bad they've died for the year. I could have gathered some and taken him his own daylilies.
 
I think I would like to go insane. Perhaps I don't need to go there. It may be place I'm already at, kind of like a hick town. I'm living in, oh, let's call it Hickington. I always assumed that very little of the redneckness of Hickington rubbed off on me. Been here most of my life but I'm not really a resident. I'm here as an observer, a reporter. I watch the town, write a poem, send the report back to a less redneck town. Heck, it's not even a town. It's even beyond a metropolis. I'm originally from Planet CeriseNape. So I'm away from my home planet, surviving rather well here in Hickington, thinking I'm free of any hicklet bites. Hicklets are like chiggers. Once you get hicklets, you're all itchy, and you start adding extra syllables to your wur-odds, and doing this hand slappy thing. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

Back to the insanity. My ex worked at a state mental hospital. By some odd coincidence so did Hugo's ex. So I'm pretty sure if I enter the city limits of Insanity and end up at the mental hospital, I won't have to worry about bumping into anymore ex-whatevers. I want to just sit on the front porch, look out at the Insanity mountains, listen to a few Insanity crows, shout out a "Howdy!" to my fellow Insanity town folks. Insanity is bound to be more blissful right now than the happenings in Hickington. Ah, a vacation to Insanity.

I've been searching for Insanity all my life sometimes I think I am on the verge of it only to discover it's closed for the day and I can't get in. Oh how I long to sit and blow soap bubbles and go splashing in puddles when it rains and only have to come in for dinner. I would always be happy and never know anguish again. No one would care if I wore one red sock and one green sock and a startling orange hat or fiddled with what ever needed fiddling with.
 
It could be seen as a coward's way out, this brief parting of ways, but I have ventured comment before, so, this time instead of feeling as if the patio doors are closed against me and I'm simply battering my wings on the glass, if I try to argue a point that doesn't exist or change a course that isn't plotted yet, I'll sit down outside a while.

Sometimes the shit on the drawers in the laundry needs scrubbing. I don't get why some folks feel the laundry tub at the automat is better than taking the time in the bathroom at home. Do the stains require public airing? Maybe, but I don't want to watch the dirt swirl in the sink.

There are other alternatives and most people prefer them over the flapping and wringing that goes on with these stains. Many choose to live with a secret taint, praying that the mythical car doesn't hit them and that the EMS boys won't have to see; others, fill the landfill with damaged goods, finding no practical use in holding on to those darkened undies and they then replace them with new. I think I'll let them soak a while and see if the bleach does its work.

So, between the clothes hamper and the line outside rests a dryer. Don't forget to clean the lint trap or the house will burn down before I get back.
 
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Wedding Bells

I’m still a bit weepy as I watch the twins play on their swing set. I was in a full out blubber this morning, while I was making the beds.

I looked in the mirror earlier and looking back at me was this strange woman. She had red-rimmed eyes and a great big goofy grin on her face. What a ditz I saw in that mirror - What a happy, grateful, blessed, thankful, joyous ditz!

Last night, Amy (the love of my life :heart: ) got the girls and myself together in the living room. She knelt down in front of the twins and calmly and lovingly asked them, “Would it be OK if I married your mommy this coming weekend?”

She told me later that she did it that way because she was terrified of looking me in the eye when she said it. Of course, in my normal, understanding way, I called her a ‘cowardly chicken-shit’. I then proceeded to crush her with the intensity of my hug; while simultaneously drowning her in tears of joy.:rose::kiss::rose:

Amy and I have been together for eight years. We first got together when we were attending college in the Midwest. We strongly disliked each other in the beginning. Neither of us had ever had a FF relationship. Against both of our wills, dislike turned to acknowledgement; acknowledgement turned to affection; affection because love. We’re blessed with two wonderful, darling twin daughters (thank you Mr. Mystery sperm donor) and live quite comfortably with them in San Diego, California. We have, in spite of all of the trials and tribulations that a FF relationship (especially one w/ children) can go through, a very satisfying and fulfilling life.

For years now, we have described ourselves as Bi. Last night as we lay in each other’s arms, I brought that up. We had a massive giggle attack because now, we have to admit that we are a couple of ‘them’ perverted Lesbos. How awful! But as the saying goes “When one door closes another one opens.”

On Saturday, we will be married. I have never been happier in my life.
 
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Congratulations, Safe Bet! Well, I do believe that news deserves a dancing banana or a kickline of them even. Let's see. :nana::nana::nana::nana::nana:
 
What wonderful news I am so happy for you both and I know you will have a fantastic day ... all the very best to you and Amy
 
I’m still a bit weepy as I watch the twins play on their swing set. I was in a full out blubber this morning, while I was making the beds.

I looked in the mirror earlier and looking back at me was this strange woman. She had red-rimmed eyes and a great big goofy grin on her face. What a ditz I saw in that mirror - What a happy, grateful, blessed, thankful, joyous ditz!

Last night, Amy (the love of my life :heart: ) got the girls and myself together in the living room. She knelt down in front of the twins and calmly and lovingly asked them, “Would it be OK if she married their mommy this coming weekend?”

She told me later that she did it that way because she was terrified of looking me in the eye when she said it. Of course, in my normal, understanding way, I called her a ‘cowardly chicken-shit’. I then proceeded to crush her with the intensity of my hug; while simultaneously drowning her in tears of joy.:rose::kiss::rose:

Amy and I have been together for eight years. We first got together when we were attending college in the Midwest. We strongly disliked each other in the beginning. Neither of us had ever had a FF relationship. Against both of our wills, dislike turned to acknowledgement; acknowledgement turned to affection; affection because love. We’re blessed with two wonderful, darling twin daughters (thank you Mr. Mystery sperm donor) and live quite comfortably with them in San Diego, California. We have, in spite of all of the trials and tribulations that a FF relationship (especially one w/ children) can go through, a very satisfying and fulfilling life.

For years now, we have described ourselves as Bi. Last night as we lay in each other’s arms, I brought that up. We had a massive giggle attack because now, we have to admit that we are a couple of ‘them’ perverted Lesbos. How awful! But as the saying goes “When one door closes another one opens.”

On Saturday, we will be married. I have never been happier in my life.

Congratulations! What a wonderful story, so sweet. I'll be thinking of you this weekend and sending good wishes your way.

:rose:
 
Congratulations! What a wonderful story, so sweet. I'll be thinking of you this weekend and sending good wishes your way.

:rose:

No, Angeline! It is anything but sweet! I am going to marry an evil, cruel, heartless bitch!

She called me this morning and casually told me that I needed to write a poem for us to read at the ceremony. WTF is she thinking! Betty Crocker doesn’t make instant poetry – at least not any that I want read at my one and only wedding!

I’ve been sitting here in an absolute sweat trying to put three words together – IT AIN’T WORKING! My mind is numb, I’m trying to write a love poem while pissed, and the kids are on a sugar high. Arrrgggghhh!

I finally dug up one of my old poems and ‘reworked it’. It really, really sucks, but I have too much crap to do, to screw with it anymore.

If somebody wants to ‘fix’ this piece of crap, please do. I promise to shamelessly plagiarize the hell out of your work and give you absolutely no credit for it whatsoever.


Amy

You were my first love
who faced the terrors with me;
Unable to avoid fates shove
we now relish in not being free.

The horrors we were sure would come to pass
faded into nothingness as our young love grew;
This base sand grew into a love pure as Venetian glass
as God granted us lovely daughters who still adore Pooh.

You are my spirit - my heart is your heart
I gladly give to you my mind, body and soul;
being now tightly bound we’d perish if apart
no longer four pieces, but now the whole.

We bind the love of yours, mine and ours into these powerful things;
Forever signified by the exchange of these rings.
 
Congratulations to you both!

I got to do a lesbian handfasting once; it was a half-jewish half-wiccan ceremony and just gorgeous. They had some family there, even, and it was beautiful to see them getting support from loved ones. When our jewish bride recited the blessing on the wine glass in Hebrew, and then they stomped on the glass, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

May your ceremony be equally lovely and equally binding.

bj
 
Congratulations to you both!

I got to do a lesbian handfasting once; it was a half-jewish half-wiccan ceremony and just gorgeous. They had some family there, even, and it was beautiful to see them getting support from loved ones. When our jewish bride recited the blessing on the wine glass in Hebrew, and then they stomped on the glass, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

May your ceremony be equally lovely and equally binding.

bj


Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks and all that! I'll be in a more appreciative mood after I get all this crap arranged. What kind of a putz gives somebody a flipping week to get a wedding organized?

Just kidding (kinda – sorta) I really appreciate everybody’s good wishes. After eight years and two screaming brats, you’d think I’d be past being excited, but it ain’t the case! Whoo Hoo!

However, if you REALLY want to show how happy you are for me – Help with the damn poem!


XOX
 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks and all that! I'll be in a more appreciative mood after I get all this crap arranged. What kind of a putz gives somebody a flipping week to get a wedding organized?
Um, someone who loves you? :)
Just kidding (kinda – sorta) I really appreciate everybody’s good wishes. After eight years and two screaming brats, you’d think I’d be past being excited, but it ain’t the case! Whoo Hoo!

However, if you REALLY want to show how happy you are for me – Help with the damn poem!
My advice is, well, my advice. There are a whole lot of reasons why my advice would not be optimal for you.

But, hey. I dispense advice like a ticket machine. Might be the wrong destination but you punched in the numbers and I am just telling you how I think you should get there.

Long way to be saying: Tell her in your own words how you've thought through it. What you think. Anybody else tells you how to write it, it won't quite be you. I've said this before, to other people in other contexts, but if it was me, I'd want to know what you said. Not Yeats or Shelley or anyone else more clever with words.

I'd want to know what you think. I'd bet she would too.
 
I have been going through a fragile period for a couple of months, and when I say, "I hope your day gets better," I know it sounds trite, but what I mean by that is "Yes, it can be a cold damn place, this world, but if you walk to the fire you'll warm up eventually. Hopefully."

Well. I've been standing next to the fire. And it's wonderful here. Better than I could ever have hoped. :) Thank you to those of you who encouraged me to get myself warmed up.

:rose:
 
Advair / emphysema

For the past two weeks, for an indefinite time, I am sharing my apt with a man who until then found himself on the street. He has emphysema. One of the drugs to deal with this illness is Advair. There are several Internet pages advertising Advair, among them:
Some deals are much better (?) than others. In particular NorthWestPharmacy looks attractive (attractive is not the best word in such a gloomy context). Is it too attractive? Is NWP a solid business?

I would appreciate a quick feedback (s/he who gives fast gives twice) because my friend is suffering.

Best regards,
 
Tell her in your own words how you've thought through it. What you think. Anybody else tells you how to write it, it won't quite be you. I've said this before, to other people in other contexts, but if it was me, I'd want to know what you said. Not Yeats or Shelley or anyone else more clever with words.

I'd want to know what you think. I'd bet she would too.

Thank you, Tzara. You can dispense advice like that to me any time you'd like, because you helped me make Amy cry last night. :)

If not for your 'gentle whack on the back of the head' I wouldn't have shown the poem to her, but, I did once the kids were in bed.

She can analyze the hell out of your stock portfolio, but she usually doesn't 'get' poetry. She sat on the sofa with me, as she read it, and didn’t say anything for quite some time. I finally dared to look at her and she was silently crying. Amy never cries. She is tough – she kicks ass. She excels in a man dominated, gender biased industry. To see tears running down her cheeks is one of the most powerful things I have ever witnessed.

If people think that my poetry sucks – I no longer care. It made the most important person in my life feel a tiny bit more love for me – so it was perfect.
 
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For the past two weeks, for an indefinite time, I am sharing my apt with a man who until then found himself on the street. He has emphysema. One of the drugs to deal with this illness is Advair. There are several Internet pages advertising Advair, among them:
Some deals are much better (?) than others. In particular NorthWestPharmacy looks attractive (attractive is not the best word in such a gloomy context). Is it too attractive? Is NWP a solid business?

I would appreciate a quick feedback (s/he who gives fast gives twice) because my friend is suffering.

Best regards,
Are there free clinics in your area? He could probably get the drug for free or for a few dollars. Also call the company that makes the drug. Some companies can do certain things for you.
 
For the past two weeks, for an indefinite time, I am sharing my apt with a man who until then found himself on the street. He has emphysema. One of the drugs to deal with this illness is Advair. There are several Internet pages advertising Advair, among them:
Some deals are much better (?) than others. In particular NorthWestPharmacy looks attractive (attractive is not the best word in such a gloomy context). Is it too attractive? Is NWP a solid business?

I would appreciate a quick feedback (s/he who gives fast gives twice) because my friend is suffering.

Best regards,

This is the web site for GlaxoSmithKline, the manufacturer of Advair. They have several different programs where they sell at low/no cost to people in need. If you get it directly from them you won't have any quality / substitution issues with which to contend.

http://www.gskforyou.com/
 
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