COVID-19 RESOURCES
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Relationships that start vanilla and turn kinky...

Our relationship is a bit different. It is a long-distance relationship since 3 months, after a friendship of over two decades turned into a romantic relationship. Kissa lives in the US, while I (Karhu) live in Europe. When we started to talk about sex, we concluded that any sex at all would be a great improvement. I have been single for some years, and she is (soon was) in a loveless marriage with no sex at all for over seven years. Anyway, we agreed that neither of us like anal, but that both love oral. Then she confided that she have had bondage/submissive fantasies since she was 15 (we are both 50 now). She had never felt enough trust in any of the men she has been with to actually try it, while I had mostly vanilla sex with my now ex (if we had any at all - vanilla, fat-free sex way too seldom...).

After a couple of weeks came the night when we went naked on FaceTime and "made love" to each other, she with the assistance of a newly purchased clit vibrator. I guess it is hardly vanilla sex to watch each other masturbate. Then it escalated. Kissa bought a couple more vibrators and some bondage restraints. I visited her for a few days, and we had pretty amazing sex from the get go, including bondage. I discovered her G spot in no time, something no one (including herself) hadn't before, with predictable and enjoyable results. Our first night, she came more times than in the previous ten years. We had the best sex of our lives, and that was just vanilla with some topping, whipped cream (literally) and extra wafers.

After returning home, we wanted to simulate the sensations. She bought a Vibease remote-controlled vibrator, and I a pack of Miss Softie "funbags" (think inexpensive, single-use Fleshlight). She also ordered more restraints, and nipple + clit clamps, while I made a hogtie accessory and a couple of spreader bars. Our next time together will be interesting...

Still, I don't think we'll venture all that far into kinkyland, and that we will find our comfort level soon, but we have surprised each other (and ourselves). Neither of us expected this, and now we have online sex almost every night, we sext each other almost every day, and we've written several erotic short stories, some of which we hope to share here.
 
We were married over 20 years then one day he said he was going to do me when and how he wants. I have basically become his sub. For the first 20.years nothing like that at all.
 
txwife594 said:
We were married over 20 years then one day he said he was going to do me when and how he wants. I have basically become his sub. For the first 20.years nothing like that at all.
Click to expand...

he is secure in the marriage, knows you and your needs. knows what he wants and hence can easily explore. he knows what is a strict no.

are you happy being a sub?
 
When I met Mrs Shrek, she was very inexperience. Only having sex once before! Good girl.
I wasn't as innocent and had been playing on the more kinky side for years. My first "love" was older and enjoyed pushing boundaries.
The first time I went down on Mrs Shrek she was almost in complete shock, her first orgasm almost made her cry.
She said to me one night, "I want to give you a blow Job but I haven't done it before". Quick lesson:)
Any way she was happy to be lead, and explore. . .

Fast forward.

We enjoy all things sexual. Toys, strap on, light bondage (both ways) anal play, anal. Threesomes etc.
 
When I met Mrs Shrek, she was very inexperience. Only having sex once before! Good girl.
I wasn't as innocent and had been playing on the more kinky side for years. My first "love" was older and enjoyed pushing boundaries.
The first time I went down on Mrs Shrek she was almost in complete shock, her first orgasm almost made her cry.
She said to me one night, "I want to give you a blow Job but I haven't done it before". Quick lesson:)
Any way she was happy to be lead, and explore. . .

Fast forward.

We enjoy all things sexual. Toys, strap on, light bondage (both ways) anal play, anal. Threesomes etc.
 
txwife594 said:
What advice would u give me
Click to expand...

I'd advise to do some research - both alone, and with your partner. Talk to people who are in similar dynamics, acquaint yourself with the health and safety, have fun exploring your new sex life possibilities. Watch porn, go on blogs, read articles. Immerse yourself a bit in the information field that is the online BDSM community.

Have open conversations with him outside the bedroom - what does he expect (if anything), what does he like, what does he want to explore? Voice your opinion, debate, come to agreements. Enjoy discovering things together.

But above all, take it slow, remember that your opinion matters just as much no matter if you're a sub or a dom, and keep communications open with your partner! Oh, and of course, enjoy ;)
 
Think we all had that experience, our partner who we thought was vanilla turned out anything but
 
I first met my hubby, now Dom, in 7th grade. We were good friends until he started dating a total bitch in 9th grade. She slowly edited ppl out of his life, including his family. So we had a falling out until after graduation when he dumped the bitch. He used to work at a skating rink that my two younger brothers used to frequent so we started to run into each other often and talking again. One thing lead to another and we dated for 3 years before getting married, and have been married for 4 years now. The sex has always been fantastic, rough but wasn't what I would call kinky. It took me a while to convince him that he could really fuck me hard and wouldn't hurt/break me. We were married about a year and a half when we first started talking about kink. I actually pulled a few excerpts from 50 shades (I know I know, it was just the sex scenes not the relationship.) and had him read them to see if he was even remotely interested.

After that we both started to research, found this forum, researched some more, and talked talked talked. He wanted to (and still does) go slow. So we made a list of hard and soft limits and found our lists were pretty similar. We tried things one at a time, in short spurts, and after some time I came to find I don't really have limits. He still has a few, but even the things that really scared me he was able to carefully introduce me to. And the things I didn't really think I would like were surprisingly arousing.

Our D/s relationship remains mostly in the bedroom for the sake of the three kids. But even so, our power exchange seemed almost natural from the start. He's much more soft and submissive in the every day while I typically take the lead role in the household. (Although his Dom comes out occasionally with a rough ass slap or kiss). If we were alone I think we would incorporate the D/s more into our everyday, but for now this works well for us.

We're still exploring and learning new things about our kinks, fantasies and desires. After particularly scathing sessions he brings me back down by holding me and we talk. Usually about that session, but also about other things we may want to try. The communication for me is paramount to my level of trust in him.

I don't think I could have this type of relationship with just anyone. I trust him with literally my very life and well being. I know he would never cause me permanent harm, our just hurt me to hurt me. This trust helps me let go and accept what he's giving me completely without fear. And even though our vanilla sex was by far the most amazing vanilla sex I'd ever had, I would never trade our kink we have now.
 
MastersDelight said:
I first met my hubby, now Dom, in 7th grade. We were good friends until he started dating a total bitch in 9th grade. She slowly edited ppl out of his life, including his family. So we had a falling out until after graduation when he dumped the bitch. He used to work at a skating rink that my two younger brothers used to frequent so we started to run into each other often and talking again. One thing lead to another and we dated for 3 years before getting married, and have been married for 4 years now. The sex has always been fantastic, rough but wasn't what I would call kinky. It took me a while to convince him that he could really fuck me hard and wouldn't hurt/break me. We were married about a year and a half when we first started talking about kink. I actually pulled a few excerpts from 50 shades (I know I know, it was just the sex scenes not the relationship.) and had him read them to see if he was even remotely interested.

After that we both started to research, found this forum, researched some more, and talked talked talked. He wanted to (and still does) go slow. So we made a list of hard and soft limits and found our lists were pretty similar. We tried things one at a time, in short spurts, and after some time I came to find I don't really have limits. He still has a few, but even the things that really scared me he was able to carefully introduce me to. And the things I didn't really think I would like were surprisingly arousing.

Our D/s relationship remains mostly in the bedroom for the sake of the three kids. But even so, our power exchange seemed almost natural from the start. He's much more soft and submissive in the every day while I typically take the lead role in the household. (Although his Dom comes out occasionally with a rough ass slap or kiss). If we were alone I think we would incorporate the D/s more into our everyday, but for now this works well for us.

We're still exploring and learning new things about our kinks, fantasies and desires. After particularly scathing sessions he brings me back down by holding me and we talk. Usually about that session, but also about other things we may want to try. The communication for me is paramount to my level of trust in him.

I don't think I could have this type of relationship with just anyone. I trust him with literally my very life and well being. I know he would never cause me permanent harm, our just hurt me to hurt me. This trust helps me let go and accept what he's giving me completely without fear. And even though our vanilla sex was by far the most amazing vanilla sex I'd ever had, I would never trade our kink we have now.
Click to expand...

This is beautiful, encouraging & inspiring.
Thank you for sharing x
 
Okletsgo said:
This is beautiful, encouraging & inspiring.
Thank you for sharing x
Click to expand...

Thank you that's very nice of you. I hope it can help someone.

I had always known I was a little odd in what I desired during sex. But didn't realize until Him that I had kinks. And I think the fact that I was so comfortable with him that I was able to even voice my desires. And once I started, he came out with some of his fantasies that he had always been afraid were wrong (rape fantasy). We never judge one another, and remain open to each others desires. And unless its a hard limit for him or me, we try it if for nothing more than the ability to say we tried it. I can't stress enough how important honesty, acceptance, communication and trust are to this lifestyle.
 
Thanks for all of the great replies and sharing your stories. Gives me hope! He is open to trying new things and I feel like (and some of your responses have reinforced) that I need to keep the conversations going about it and start introducing my desires when we play more regularly.
 
That would be me and baby girl. Yes we discovered that the DD/LG was who we are and what we love as a lifestyle. we joke that my inner demon had been let loose because we did start off vanilla and have evolved into threesomes, breath play, spanking, some wax play, bondage, and just released inhibitions that were locked down before. The sex since has been off the charts since. Waiting to order a over the bed restraint system and a satin flogger to start with.
 
Karhukissa said:
Still, I don't think we'll venture all that far into kinkyland, and that we will find our comfort level soon, but we have surprised each other (and ourselves). Neither of us expected this, and now we have online sex almost every night, we sext each other almost every day, and we've written several erotic short stories, some of which we hope to share here.
Click to expand...

Huh, after having a masturbatory session online (she was alone in the office, and we had teased each other with sexts), we talked about an exhibitionist streak she has. She sent me a link to a clip with a tied down woman being fucked from behind in front of a bar full of onlookers. She was turned on by it, and we talked about having sex in public. We might try some club in Amsterdam, or some nude beach, but otherwise it will be outdoorsy stuff in secluded spaces. I guess we are sliding down the kinky rabbithole...
 
Karhukissa said:
Huh, after having a masturbatory session online (she was alone in the office, and we had teased each other with sexts), we talked about an exhibitionist streak she has. She sent me a link to a clip with a tied down woman being fucked from behind in front of a bar full of onlookers. She was turned on by it, and we talked about having sex in public. We might try some club in Amsterdam, or some nude beach, but otherwise it will be outdoorsy stuff in secluded spaces. I guess we are sliding down the kinky rabbithole...
Click to expand...

"But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.

Enjoy the fall ;)
 
MastersDelight said:
"But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.

Enjoy the fall ;)
Click to expand...

LOL! Yes, there's no telling where this will end up.
 
Once your relationship starts to explore more kinky areas these no telling where it might end
 
I'm eagerly awating her arrival... We're already planning sex in the basement storage (we live in an apartment building), with her bound and gagged, tied to pipes and shelves, and with a wand tied to her crotch. Also going into the nearby woods, strip, gag and tie her hands behind her back, blindfold her and lead her a ways before leaving her there. She must try to find her way back, but I'll stalk her. She will be either bound to a fallen tree, or tied to tentpegs in a glade, and then fucked. Then we might have sex on a beach, perhaps within sight of others. Right now I'm mounting a chin up bar for our yoga swing, but it will serve for other bondage purposes as well. This will be an interesting summer...
 
txwife594 said:
We were married over 20 years then one day he said he was going to do me when and how he wants. I have basically become his sub. For the first 20.years nothing like that at all.
Click to expand...

Very interesting. I have a similar experience.

I posted this in another thread, but my wife and I have known each other for 25 years and been married for 15 years. My wife was aware of my submissive nature in the bedroom but didn't want to indulge it. She was completely uncomfortable with the idea of dominating me in any way.

Then one evening last summer, we had a long talk in which we were extremely open about our deepest and darkest sexual fantasies. Sure, there were some things each of us was aware of...but both of us revealed things we never had before.

That conversation sparked us to explore a lot of things we never had. Since then, my wife has taken a more dominant role in the bedroom - including having me perform oral sex on her (which she had NEVER wanted before, even though I offered) and tying me up. It's been completely amazing. If only we had engaged in that conversation years earlier. But better late than never!
 
My husband and I first met when we were teens. I discovered my love of kinky things young. Once we began dating, he had no interest in such things. I loved him and decided vanilla sex with him was better than kinky sex with others. But over the years our sex life seems to get more and more kinky. He says it is because of me. But his career has changed him since our younger days too, making him more cynical, aggressive, and dominant. In a good way. The rose colored glasses of a boy gone, a man in his place who is willing to use me like I desire, and we are often exploring new fantasies and kinks together.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

K
How to get into BDSM/ sexual relationship
2 3
Replies
56
Views
2K
Howardstark1910
H
K
BDSM & Autism and me--hello!
Replies
11
Views
421
Bramblethorn
Bramblethorn
PleasureDaddy
In appreciation of 69ing and spanking.
Replies
6
Views
644
lowcollar
L
TwistMyTitties
Resourses Needed!
Replies
1
Views
281
KimGordon67
KimGordon67
S
Tips on Finding a Genuine Connection?
Replies
21
Views
416
IrisAlthea
IrisAlthea
Back
Top