BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2005
- Posts
- 11,663
I actually identify someplace along the aromantic spectrum-- I really prefer to think of my marriage like a legally binding partnership between two friends with a common sense of humor, political leanings, and life goals. It's just plain handy to have someone around 24/7 that you can talk to about anything, get a second opinion from, help you win an argument, or loan you a few bucks.
We've been long distance for 5 years and counting, and the last time I visited we didn't even share the same bed because I don't like his mattress. It felt like a sleepover and was way more fun (not to mention we both got better sleep).
Moving in together, whenever that happens, will be a financially strategic move more than anything. His city is an expensive place to live, and in an ideal world we'd have our own apartments. We just aren't all that interested in co-habiting.
I don't like sappy shit. I don't like lovey-dovey shit. Our idea of celebrating our anniversary is going shopping together and buying stuff for ourselves, not even each other.
Sure, I have a spouse and life partner. But we're not what I would call "romantically involved". And no, nothing's missing. Trying to force ourselves into a relationship framework that neither of our brains really understand was really dumb, and asking if something's missing from our lives without romance is like asking someone if something's missing from their life because they're vanilla.
That sounds pretty awesome to me.
Being aromantic isn't a lifestyle choice-- it's just who you are.
Yes, this. All this.
Again, being aro is (somewhat) analogous to being ace. Would you ask an ace if they feel something is "missing" from their lives because they don't engage in sex--a behavior that they have no interest in?