Hahaha! The Nephro just wrote an order for Strict I/O. Hahahahahahahahahah
It's not Kansas! There's no control around here. It's a wild animal.
I was just eating lunch and transport calls to take my patient to the nursing home asking me all kinds a crazy q'sz.
I'm like: Idk! Can you talk to me with your sexy phone voice while I stop eating lunch to find out?
I have 5 patients, 1 is leaving and then I'll get another and hey that's not bad for this place. They usually keep it to 5:1 ratio.
It's a hott mess but I'm like real cool. I can do anything for 12 hours. The MARs are all fucked up and you can't give one med without feeling scared. I skipped noon vitals on one patient cause I couldn't find a proper cuff size. :/
And I'm just rolling with it and these nurses are laughing at me talk some crazy shit. I am like: These are the days of our lives/ crush crush crush
The PCTs do the 1600 vitals. And guess what? There's no PCT today! Say what? The good news is my patients aren't real sick.
Drove me up the wall when I first started working tele!
HAHAHA! And people in Hell want ice water!
HAHAHA! And people in Hell want ice water!
That's when I send in the big, mean, bruiser PCS to change your bed for ya and give your massage!
I keep threatening to hang signs in all the rooms that say: That big blue H outside doesn't mean Hilton!
There is no showering or bubble baths here. You just want that soapy rub down in the bed.
I have to wash my hands first. Oh- I'm going to drop my own preload in the hot shower water, and then I'll mock trend the bed with pillows.
Nobody on tele clears pumps!
Our system lets us enter the IV fluids as they're ordered. So if a pt's MAR says they're to have NS@125, the system automatically enters 125ml every hour. If they're supposed to get, say, PB vanco, it automatically puts in the 250ml over an hour and a half. 
We wouldn't let you wear any. I don't even snap tie gowns in the unit.
That's actually kind of cool about the I/O automatic streaming. In the unit we clear q 8 hours and make sure it matches the paper I/O flowsheet. Clearing the pump is mostly a guide. If the patient is q 1 hour I/O I don't clear the pump every hour- I mostly pay attention to the output.Nobody on tele clears pumps!
The problem with that is - especially just with plain IVF, we usually take them off the pump when we send them for procedures or whatever. We're supposed to change their entries for that time period. Do you really think we have time to even remember to do that? Let alone to actually DO it. LOL
Bed baths are a thing of the past. Now, ya get the little baby wipes and a pre-shampoo loaded shower cap. If the PCS gives the bath, you might get a decent bath. If the RN gives it, there's a good chance you'll just get a TPA bath.
We call that trauma naked. Everyone gets exposed.
