Tortured Innuendo

MattWolf

Renaissance Fella
Joined
Jul 20, 2011
Posts
4,186
Words are of course inadequate for the joys of sex, but sometimes they are fun as we stretch our similes and torture our innuendos in the desperate attempt to avoid saying cock or pussy or moan or glistening every other sentence when indulging in a little erotic emailing.

In actual fact it is amazing how enthralling textual sexual sentiment can be, developing a buzz of anticipation each time the inbox is opened or whenever the messenger is turned on… I’ll admit to getting a small boner – and yes, sometimes it is fun to be crude as well – simply by the possibility of there being something tasty to read or arousing to look at.

So I’m a man, 38, English. Slim, but not as skinny as I once was. Probably a little over educated but with a good sense of the silly.

I’m looking for women who’d like to play with words, especially during these long northern hemisphere nights when it is dark outside and we huddle around the warm glow of our laptop or ipads and look for warmth and stimulation. And not just words, pictures, dares and games can be fun too, but let’s get to know each other first, otherwise it is just binary sex and who wants to be just a number?
 
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Well the response to this thread was... as enthusiastic as a wet blanket to put it mildly...
 
Well the response to this thread was... as enthusiastic as a wet blanket to put it mildly...

That could be a good thing. :) You might want to also try commenting on threads so you can be more visible and meet people that way. Good luck!
 
That could be a good thing. :) You might want to also try commenting on threads so you can be more visible and meet people that way. Good luck!

Not sure why it would be a good thing, but thanks for the thoughtful advice LadyVer.
 
Not sure why it would be a good thing, but thanks for the thoughtful advice LadyVer.

You're welcome. FWIW, I think your personal is one of the better ones so I would be surprised if you didn't get responses.
 
I've said it once, and I'll say it again: this guy is a genuine pervert - smart and kind. Regardless of where and if he posts...it's still true. :) Good luck, Matty Dub. :D
 
I've said it once, and I'll say it again: this guy is a genuine pervert - smart and kind. Regardless of where and if he posts...it's still true. :) Good luck, Matty Dub. :D

Thank you kindly, may your knickers ever be neon.
 
Drop me a line again sometime Neon. You seem to be my only fan.
 
MattWolf, I share your love of cock and roll play. Nothing so depressing as " Private Messages: Unread 0."
Wish you luck.
 
MattWolf, I share your love of cock and roll play. Nothing so depressing as " Private Messages: Unread 0."
Wish you luck.

I don't have a particular love of cock... except maybe my own I guess, which I'm on firm terms with.
 
Hastening to correct wrong impression...I don't fancy cock either. "cock and roll play"= rock and roll play=role play....pretty tortured..sorry .
 
Hastening to correct wrong impression...I don't fancy cock either. "cock and roll play"= rock and roll play=role play....pretty tortured..sorry .

No need, there is nothing wrong with fancying cock, but thanks for the explanation. Less innuendo than tortured cockney rhyming slang.
 
No need, there is nothing wrong with fancying cock, but thanks for the explanation. Less innuendo than tortured cockney rhyming slang.

I must admit that I fancy cock! I miss it. I miss the fullness of it sliding slowly into my cunt. Then pressing on that sweet spot, causing me to arch my back and yell to the ceiling "Fuck, YES!"
 
I must admit that I fancy cock! I miss it. I miss the fullness of it sliding slowly into my cunt. Then pressing on that sweet spot, causing me to arch my back and yell to the ceiling "Fuck, YES!"

Which is exactly the kind of fancying cock that I'm delighted to hear about.
 
Although screaming at the ceiling might disturb (or excite?) any upstairs neighbours.
 
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