The UK Kink Thread

subtleone said:

Now on to matters of 'triviality' can we describe or see these pub signs please?...I can just imagine a couple of these swinging outside my local oh! the furore!!!! Especially The Spreadeagle and the KY inn.

Click to expand...

lol, i wouldn't mind seeing The Spreadeagle sign myself...

hows this for one then

mickyp123 said:

hows this for one then

Click to expand...

Now thats is a good sign.

Chantilyvamp said:

Now thats is a good sign.

Click to expand...

bet the people inside are just like the sign,...........swinging lol

Micky that is a good sign...I'd have to go in and have a look inside
Don't think it was what I had in mind for the good ol' English country pub with the thatched roof, wisteria growing up the walls and the old man in his Barbour jacket smoking his pipe sat outside; with his labrador lapping up a pint from the ashtray.
Not so much neon methinks

subtleone said:

Micky that is a good sign...I'd have to go in and have a look inside
Don't think it was what I had in mind for the good ol' English country pub with the thatched roof, wisteria growing up the walls and the old man in his Barbour jacket smoking his pipe sat outside; with his labrador lapping up a pint from the ashtray.
Not so much neon methinks

Click to expand...

wow your a closet romantic lol

Ok man with hat, = Master
Dog = Training
Thatched, = Should be smooth
Wisteria = Bound
pipe = smouldering,

subtleone said:

Micky that is a good sign...I'd have to go in and have a look inside
Don't think it was what I had in mind for the good ol' English country pub with the thatched roof, wisteria growing up the walls and the old man in his Barbour jacket smoking his pipe sat outside; with his labrador lapping up a pint from the ashtray.
Not so much neon methinks

Click to expand...

Good morning/afternoon everyone.

Hey subtleone, thankyou for your posts that are designed to kick us out of our comfortable little fireside chats. Have you ever read "Watching the English" by Kate Fox? Very good, very observant and very very funny.

God nows it's hard enough being British without the added complication of being kinky (my definition - liking sex enough to want more than just having the lights on).

As for pub signs, I loved CV's "Tide and Bound"

mickyp123 said:

hows this for one then

Click to expand...

Well Micky I came to look at your sign *laugh*

I am a virgin on this thread, so be gentle with me

minx1 said:

Well Micky I came to look at your sign *laugh*

I am a virgin on this thread, so be gentle with me

Click to expand...

Your safe here lol, and welcome

mickyp123 said:

Your safe here lol, and welcome

Click to expand...

Yeah, you say that now lol , while you're talking about pub signs!

minx1 said:

Yeah, you say that now lol , while you're talking about pub signs!

Click to expand...

ewg

mickyp123 said:

wow your a closet romantic lol

Ok man with hat, = Master
Dog = Training
Thatched, = Should be smooth
Wisteria = Bound
pipe = smouldering,

Click to expand...

LOL!! You got me banged to rights there!!! Sorry but I'm in the land of the thatched roofs..what can I say Its not a personal preference just a countywide thing. As for me and mine... guess

FluteMaster said:

Good morning/afternoon everyone.

Hey subtleone, thankyou for your posts that are designed to kick us out of our comfortable little fireside chats. Have you ever read "Watching the English" by Kate Fox? Very good, very observant and very very funny.

God nows it's hard enough being British without the added complication of being kinky (my definition - liking sex enough to want more than just having the lights on).

As for pub signs, I loved CV's "Tide and Bound"

Click to expand...

Hey FM,
No I havent read that..may look it up on Amazon although I have a backlog of reading to do already.
As for fireside chats...much more interesting with convivial company and no clothes! Just love the way one side of me is glowing and the other cool as a cucumber...

shy slave said:

The UK has some wonderfully kinky places to see and visit, it would be great if people could share experiences of particular munches, the London Fetish Fair, Coffee, Cake & Kink etc.

Speaking of cottages, we are famous for cottaging as well.

Click to expand...

Shy, you make some valid points. Sometimes the thread seems to be more of a "Chat board" and consequently a few participants get to know each other and it may become "Cliquey" if you notice this speak up. We try to be welcoming and friendly.

Munches

Been to a few. Used to help run one in London, found it getting rather political and had disagreements with other people involved. I left them to it, I don't go to Munches nowadays.

London Fettish Fair

I used to sell there, I made Rope Floggers, but couldn't sell enough to make it worthwhile. It's a fun event almost "munchy" in style.

Coffee, Cake & Kink

I've been there, enjoyed it, the coffee is delicious and the cakes are nice too. the downstairs lounge was well supplied with sofas, which is good because the ceiling is low. The stairs are "interesting" being of a compact type. I'd go again but I don't like doing that kind of thing on my own, it's just not fun unless there's someone to share it with.

Clubs and Events

I was involved in a club which is now closed, it was great fun and specifically aimed at women, both sub and Domme. I was very proud of my work there being the only "House Dom" with several "House subs" (all Male) and "House Dommes". I dont do anything much scenewise now but many of the people I have worked with are involved with "The Firm" who are responsible for "Night of the Cane" this weekend, and "Isis" a new club similar to the one I was involved with.

The Scene in London

I've been involved at various levels, I've found it generally good, though there are the usual Ego issues. I found that MOST of the people in the scene are male. The majority seem to be subs, but Male Doms are a close seccond, with female Dommes not far behind. Female subs are a long way behind that, definately in the minority.

I think that covers my experience, but that's only the edited highlights. Any specific questions please do ask.

I'd be very interested to hear more from people with more recent experience of these events.

By The way I think you'd find "Cottaging" to be an almost exclusively Homosexual Activity. I may be wrong but that is my understanding... Ask George Michael.

subtleone said:

Hey FM,
No I havent read that..may look it up on Amazon although I have a backlog of reading to do already.
As for fireside chats...much more interesting with convivial company and no clothes! Just love the way one side of me is glowing and the other cool as a cucumber...

Click to expand...

Sigh, sounds like I have been to the wrong locals . On the other hand, maybe I haven't been looking hard enough

As for the fireside chats, maybe if you sat closer to the fire, then both sides would be glowing equally.

These were the best signs i could find, one business and one street, couldnt find any good pub signs other than what micky found earlier

Dragonteeth said:

I've been involved at various levels, I've found it generally good, though there are the usual Ego issues. I found that MOST of the people in the scene are male. The majority seem to be subs, but Male Doms are a close seccond, with female Dommes not far behind. Female subs are a long way behind that, definately in the minority.

Click to expand...

I was interested to read that, and I have been wondering why that is so, in particular the imballance of femaile subs to the other three.

I put this forward not as a definitive reason, but as thought provoker.

It seems to me that the character of a female sub is, at least in part, to be shy and cautious. I don't know, maybe because it so more bound up with an emotional understanding? A male Sub enjoys being a sub, but I sense is also more able to switch that side off. (I know generalisation, and this varies)

So, I suspect that a lot of female subs are actually looking for a whole lot more than an event or a scene. Rather, they are looking more for a relationship -and often an exclusive relationship. They may be happy to be displayed, but would be horrified to be shared.

Now, I am NOT saying that We Dom/mes, are just sensation seeking wanderers who have no interest in relationships. I just suspect that we are better, again, at compartmentalising, and enjoying a brief contact at a scene/club.

So, the reason that there are so few female subs at the clubs is not because of an absence of female subs, but because it's the wrong environment.

Any takers/flamers??

minx1 said:

Well Micky I came to look at your sign *laugh*

I am a virgin on this thread, so be gentle with me

Click to expand...

Hi Minx1, welcome to the thread. we promise to be gentle, until you decide that this is a soft limit that you want stretching

FluteMaster said:

...It seems to me that the character of a female sub is, at least in part, to be shy and cautious. I don't know, maybe because it so more bound up with an emotional understanding?...

...So, the reason that there are so few female subs at the clubs is not because of an absence of female subs, but because it's the wrong environment...

Click to expand...

I think you may be on to something there. I think there is a fundamental difference between male subs and famale subs. It's difficult to put my finger on and of course there are always diff'rent strokes. I think male subs like the actuallity, being a puppy, being trampled or whatever, it appears that female subs are more concerned with the mental state that arises from being submissive.

I think you are about right though, it's the wrong environment for female subs.

FluteMaster said:

I was interested to read that, and I have been wondering why that is so, in particular the imballance of femaile subs to the other three.

I put this forward not as a definitive reason, but as thought provoker.

It seems to me that the character of a female sub is, at least in part, to be shy and cautious. I don't know, maybe because it so more bound up with an emotional understanding? A male Sub enjoys being a sub, but I sense is also more able to switch that side off. (I know generalisation, and this varies)

So, I suspect that a lot of female subs are actually looking for a whole lot more than an event or a scene. Rather, they are looking more for a relationship -and often an exclusive relationship. They may be happy to be displayed, but would be horrified to be shared.

Now, I am NOT saying that We Dom/mes, are just sensation seeking wanderers who have no interest in relationships. I just suspect that we are better, again, at compartmentalising, and enjoying a brief contact at a scene/club.

So, the reason that there are so few female subs at the clubs is not because of an absence of female subs, but because it's the wrong environment.

Any takers/flamers??

Click to expand...

Speaking as a female sub I can give you my personal point of view, bearing in mind that I am still a little green in this still.
I am in an exclusive relationship of which the Ds is only a part and although as yet I have not been to a club/munch etc we have discussed it. I have been informed and am happy with, the prospect of being displayed; however I have been told he does not want to share me and tbh this is fine by me atm....may change later as and when though. Therefore although I exist (I think ) I am not 'on the scene'. I reckon there are probably many many female subs in a very similar position to me, which would certainly account for the lack of female subs out and about.

subtleone said:

Speaking as a female sub I can give you my personal point of view, bearing in mind that I am still a little green in this still.
I am in an exclusive relationship of which the Ds is only a part and although as yet I have not been to a club/munch etc we have discussed it. I have been informed and am happy with, the prospect of being displayed; however I have been told he does not want to share me and tbh this is fine by me atm....may change later as and when though. Therefore although I exist (I think ) I am not 'on the scene'. I reckon there are probably many many female subs in a very similar position to me, which would certainly account for the lack of female subs out and about.

Click to expand...

Self flaming for appalling grammar!!! Apologies; that is hard to read!

subtleone said:

Speaking as a female sub I can give you my personal point of view, bearing in mind that I am still a little green in this still.
I am in an exclusive relationship of which the Ds is only a part and although as yet I have not been to a club/munch etc we have discussed it. I have been informed and am happy with, the prospect of being displayed; however I have been told he does not want to share me and tbh this is fine by me atm....may change later as and when though. Therefore although I exist (I think ) I am not 'on the scene'. I reckon there are probably many many female subs in a very similar position to me, which would certainly account for the lack of female subs out and about.

Click to expand...

Thank you for that Subtleone, though I was wondering how correct you felt I was about the "emotional" aspect? (and I looked back at my post and winced at some typos, so no flaming from me).

Any other comments??

subtleone said:

Speaking as a female sub I can give you my personal point of view, bearing in mind that I am still a little green in this still.
I am in an exclusive relationship of which the Ds is only a part and although as yet I have not been to a club/munch etc we have discussed it. I have been informed and am happy with, the prospect of being displayed; however I have been told he does not want to share me and tbh this is fine by me atm....may change later as and when though. Therefore although I exist (I think ) I am not 'on the scene'. I reckon there are probably many many female subs in a very similar position to me, which would certainly account for the lack of female subs out and about.

Click to expand...

That's interesting... Though there is not likely to be much opportunity to "display" you at a munch.

I supose the question I'd like to know is how did you and your Dom find each other? Did you know you were sub and deliberately seek someone who would cater to that need or did you only discover it later?

FluteMaster said:

Thank you for that Subtleone, though I was wondering how correct you felt I was about the "emotional" aspect? (and I looked back at my post and winced at some typos, so no flaming from me).

Any other comments??

Click to expand...

I think there is definitely an emotional side to it (personally speaking).
I am quite a forthright, supposedly successful, intelligent person whose opinion is held fairly highly in regard to my career. I find it quite a release to be completely submissive and have my opinion sometimes disregarded.
However I did not 'go into' it for this reason and to answer DT's question at the same time; I have been with my Master in a deep meaningful (vannilla-ish) relationship for 17 years. We have played at BDSM in the bedroom but no more than that. I know that my feelings for him run very, very deep and a short while ago I asked him to move our relationship on to a D/s one. So as you see I am green at this so I cannot really speak for all female subs, however I do not think I would have ever entered into a D/s relationship if I did not have such feeling for my husband...for me it is the ultimate gift that I can give him to show my love for him - me; my mind body and soul.
I don't know if that really helps you, as obviously there is a lot of time invested in our relationship but if many women think along the same lines as me it would certainly account for the lack of female subs on the scene.

subtleone said:

I think there is definitely an emotional side to it (personally speaking).
I am quite a forthright, supposedly successful, intelligent person whose opinion is held fairly highly in regard to my career. I find it quite a release to be completely submissive and have my opinion sometimes disregarded.
However I did not 'go into' it for this reason and to answer DT's question at the same time; I have been with my Master in a deep meaningful (vannilla-ish) relationship for 17 years. We have played at BDSM in the bedroom but no more than that. I know that my feelings for him run very, very deep and a short while ago I asked him to move our relationship on to a D/s one. So as you see I am green at this so I cannot really speak for all female subs, however I do not think I would have ever entered into a D/s relationship if I did not have such feeling for my husband...for me it is the ultimate gift that I can give him to show my love for him - me; my mind body and soul.
I don't know if that really helps you, as obviously there is a lot of time invested in our relationship but if many women think along the same lines as me it would certainly account for the lack of female subs on the scene.

Click to expand...

<smile> I think that what you have said makes a whole pile of sense to me.

Obviously, each person has their own course, and that will also depend upon their life at the time they decide to persue a lifestyle of this kind. For example, are they already married, but to a "Vanilla" partner.

But what you have said seems to reinforce my sense that the core of a submissive's understanding is emotional "rightness" about the situation, and that can often only be revealed in a relationship of trust with a trustworthy person.

I have to say, too, that this is what frustrates me about so many "wanabe" Doms. They think it's all about using the right words or projecting the right image. Essentially, however, it's all about being the right person for that submissive, and that person needs to exhibit humour, confidence, understanding and a degree of self mastery for that to happen.