Help! What do you think about this?

Joined
Jan 10, 2012
Posts
17
I have been married for 10 years. 2 years ago, I found a picture on my husband's laptop of him dressed as a woman. He denied (and still does) that it is him (pic is from chin down). Anyway, I did not act mad or weird about it. In fact I told him how sexy he looked and we fucked on his desk right next to the laptop and the picture! It was fabulous! Our sex life had been getting pretty dull and had never really been exciting. He always came across as really conservative. When we first married he acted shocked I had a vibrator! Anyway after that day, I started buying him panties, stockings..etc. He even started asking me to lick, finger and fuck his ass. That has become a normal part of our routine. I love it and I love how excited he gets.

Okay so 2 weeks ago I find a pair of panties and stockings in his briefcase that I did not buy and discovered he shaved his legs...no biggie buy why all the secrets? He has looked at bondage porn our entire marriage and I let him tie me up sometimes but recently he looked at a TV's bound to serve sight.....? He wants to be tied up I thought and so I did...but he claims no he likes tying me up!! I know I need to ask him these questions but he wont really answer...Should I worry? Why would he hide these things if he knows I am more than okay with it? In fact I am wet thinking about what he will look like in the new panties I bought him today!!

Any thoughts??
 
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@llsg1 I know! I feel like he should know there is nothing to hide! He must be embarrassed is all I can come up with?? Still doesnt make much sense!
 
@llsg1 I know! I feel like he should know there is nothing to hide! He must be embarrassed is all I can come up with?? Still doesnt make much sense!

maybe hes worried that you will think less of him as a man,,you know like when hes not there with you ,,like when your doing the shopping or something mmm just a guess tho maybe hes not used to you knowing yet ???????
 
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@bigcockstallion not sure what you mean

He meant your PM box - you have to allow PMs in your settings for people to be able to contact you privately. If you don't want to receive private messages, you don't have to allow this.
 
He may still be coming to grips with it himself... keep talking to him...from my point of view.....he has the perfect situation....

On the other hand....he might feel a little violated that your looking in his breifcase...just and assumption
 
I would love to find out the full situation. He won't talk to me about it!!! He won't even tell me when the picture I found of him on his computer was taken or who took it!!
 
I've recently come out to my wife about my sexual desires, and all was peachy or so I thought. It's not that she's not willing, because she is, and then some. It has a lot more to do with me.

I'm still not completely comfortable with her knowing the things I want and need, even though I know she's ok with it and even seen how excited it gets her. I've worked my whole life to hide these things from everyone that letting go and sharing them with anyone, even the person I trust more than anyone else is a major struggle for me.

And this is considering that I made the decision to discuss this with my wife, I wasn't 'outed' by her as your husband was by you.

Give him time, he may be struggling with his desires, with his feelings, and with his sexuality. This stuff can be damn confusing and even if he knows, I mean really really knows that you'll be ok with it, it doesn't mean he's ok with sharing it with you yet.

It's a process, the important part is to maintain the dialogue. Don't press the issue if he's uncomfortable with it, but don't let it fall by the wayside either. Make sure he knows that you want to talk about it but make sure he knows that you're not going to pry either, or push him faster than he's comfortable with.

I don't think you have anything to worry about on the infidelity front, so don't worry till you have a reason to. There are a large number of transvestites and m-f transexuals that are attracted to women.

Let him move at his own pace, make sure he knows that you love him unconditionally and that you're always there if he wants to talk. You'll be fine, and kudos on being such a fantastic wife!
 
Why would he hide these things if he knows I am more than okay with it?
Any thoughts??

My first thought, having the same desires as your hubby, is that he wants a cock.

You can shove a strap-on up his ass 1,000 times and he is still going to wonder what the real thing feels like exploding in his ass and mouth.

You should find someone that is a TV and have them bound and tied up when he gets home. The truth will out.
 
In theory it is possible that he might be having an affair with another man.

I don't want to put anything in your head, and it is more than likely that I am wrong, and in any case, you should never pay any attention to nameless strangers you meet on the internet. I am only saying that it is possible.

If it is so, ( which it probably isn't ) he's perhaps the biggest fool in the world, to throw away a supporting partner over nothing.

If you have access to his laptop, check his email. His password is probably saved on his browser (considering he left pictures of himself he considers as embarrassing lying carelessly around).
 
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I have my doubts that there's any cheating going on.

My thoughts are that he's just really embarrased about it. Even though you found the pics and confronted him, I'm thinking he's too embarrased about doing what he does to be honest with you, or that your attitude and acceptance might change. Strange idea considering how cool you've been and have done everything right to let him be open but if have a mind that would most likely do the exact same thing in that situation. (It's not embarassing if you don't admit it, lol). Since it turns him on he continues to do it for his enjoyment, which as long as it's only him that knows then he's able to somewhat accept that.

Now, to be able to accept it enough on his own part to keep enjoying what he enjoys is one thing, to openly admit that to your wife, the woman you love, is a completely different story. At that point he would be admitting to something he's extremely embarrased about and would be a whole other story.
 
If he's comfortable with taking her finger up his ass, I don't think a pair of panties should be embarrassing to him; she's been more than understanding and open to him. The secrecy is looking more like guilt to me than anything else.
 
@Seaman I have access to ALL of his passwords to everything! I have never found more than his flicker account (which he does NOT post pics of himself on) but has joined groups called "maria's tights, and TV's bound to serve". He also has an ******** account where he lists himself as TV/TV and straight. He does not know I know about any of these memberships -so my thinking is if he were bi he would list himself as such-right?
 
My first thought, having the same desires as your hubby, is that he wants a cock.

You can shove a strap-on up his ass 1,000 times and he is still going to wonder what the real thing feels like exploding in his ass and mouth.

You should find someone that is a TV and have them bound and tied up when he gets home. The truth will out.

Hmmm....that sounds difficult to do! He'll have to admit that's what he wants first!!!
 
I can sympathize with the both of you. I imagine it is indeed frustrating to you because you want him to be more open and you are doing your part in the communication but I also understand what may be going thru his mind. Others have stated that he may be embarrassed and I can tell you that it is NOT an easy thing to talk about even with a willing wife. My wife is starting to get what arouses me other than her and even still it is difficult to take that leap of faith. My advice is to continue the path you are on. Show patience and understanding like you have been and I am willing to bet he will open up soon because it is indeed a heavy burden to carry sometimes. I am also willing to bet that if he has any degree of inteligence that there are no affairs to worry about. As strong as a fantasy can be most of us aren't going to throw away a supporting spouse for a fantasy. Best of luck to you both.
 
michellestein25 said:
so
my thinking is if he were
bi he would list himself as
such-right?

I agree; but that only brings us to an entirely new but similar problem - it is equally possible for him to be having an affair with a woman, maybe someone who's willing to tie him up; he might even be going to a prostitute; maybe somebody at work, perhaps. But this is all guess work, at this point. Maybe he is just plain embarrassed.

Most importantly, more data is required before you can come to any conclusion. It would be wrong to condemn him on insufficient evidence.
 
I agree; but that only brings us to an entirely new but similar problem - it is equally possible for him to be having an affair with a woman, maybe someone who's willing to tie him up; he might even be going to a prostitute; maybe somebody at work, perhaps. But this is all guess work, at this point. Maybe he is just plain embarrassed.

Most importantly, more data is required before you can come to any conclusion. It would be wrong to condemn him on insufficient evidence.

True but I have snooped so much and I really do feel bad about it. I should not do it. It is wrong. I just CAN'T find anything more-a receipt. I even went so far as to have him followed one day and he was at his office all day! -quite the workaholic At some point he would slip up and leave something in his pocket or wallet or something he couldn't be THAT good I wouldn't think!....As far as the tying him up part. I have done that 2x and each time he is reluctant and tells me he wants to tie me up.. I have let him do that to me a few times...it is really hard for me because I am sooo claustrophobic. But for someone who claims to love it he never really brings it up -it is always me that does! why else would he look at pics of men dressed as women tied up?? He wants to be dressed and tied up-right? So, that's what I did! Turned him over my knee and spanked him, made him suck my strapon and then used it on him....he was a happy camper.. or so it seemed ..just does'nt want to admit to it for some reason!
 
michellestein25 said:
Turned him over my knee
and spanked him, made
him suck my strapon and
then used it on him....

Okay, first of all, that is so hot! :)

You know, men are weird; they get turned on by all kind of stuff. Sometimes men are turned on by things that they will never actually do themselves. Maybe he really doesn't like being tied up; like, for example, there are so many guys on this forum, who fantasize about being with another guy, but have never actually done it. Maybe it's just one of those things, you know.

What I can perceive from your posts, is that
1. You are a highly intelligent and caring woman;
2. which implies that you must have chosen your husband carefully, and that
3. you love your husband very much, and
4. your sex life is very much active.

Now, logic dictates that since he is already getting physical and emotional gratification at home, there's no need for him to look for it elsewhere. So he has some private "fantasies"; so does every other man on this earth. Maybe he'll tell you when he's ready.
 
Okay, first of all, that is so hot! :)


Now, logic dictates that since he is already getting physical and emotional gratification at home, there's no need for him to look for it elsewhere. So he has some private "fantasies"; so does every other man on this earth. Maybe he'll tell you when he's ready.

I am beginning to believe that logic..based on what everyone here has said and PMed me. He has to be happy with the fact that I have 1) never gotten mad about any of this 2) purchased panties and pantyhose for him 3) told him numerous times how sexy he looks and how much it turns me on too 4) tied him up/ let him tie me up 5) had professional bondage pics taken of me for him for xmas 6) keep our "toy chest" stocked with new fun things 7) toss his salad and finger him EVERY TIME we have sex 8) let him deep throat me and cum down my throat 9) fuck him whenever he wants with my feeldoe strapless cock....

10) cook dinner EVERY night 11) pack his lunch for work

so yea he should have physical and emotional gratification! Damn I just read my list -he'd be NUTS to leave me!! :) Oh yea! and I forgot just got measured for a new bra 38G...
 
I am beginning to believe that logic..based on what everyone here has said and PMed me. He has to be happy with the fact that I have 1) never gotten mad about any of this 2) purchased panties and pantyhose for him 3) told him numerous times how sexy he looks and how much it turns me on too 4) tied him up/ let him tie me up 5) had professional bondage pics taken of me for him for xmas 6) keep our "toy chest" stocked with new fun things 7) toss his salad and finger him EVERY TIME we have sex 8) let him deep throat me and cum down my throat 9) fuck him whenever he wants with my feeldoe strapless cock....

10) cook dinner EVERY night 11) pack his lunch for work

so yea he should have physical and emotional gratification! Damn I just read my list -he'd be NUTS to leave me!! :) Oh yea! and I forgot just got measured for a new bra 38G...

Okay, now you're just teasing us! :devil: :kiss: I think you're gonna be just fine :rose:
 
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