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Consent?

  • Thread starter La damnee elle la licorne
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Gianbattista said:
Not really. But this could be relevant to discussion....:)emotion and intellect is. :)

I'm asking the consent you expect in relation to your sexual relationships ( to receive or give) how is it that it compares for your day to day life and personality. Do we respect or disrespect boundaries of consent similarly through other aspects of life? Are we consistent in our attitudes towards this? ( for me I think I am veering to 'no' at this time and this makes me uncomfortable somewhat)
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I don't think people are very consistent, no. I know for sure that I am not.

People who never would dream of doing anything remotely kinky or even sexual, are not always strangers to being slightly manipulative in those everyday relationship things or when it comes to the big make or break relationship things. Those who are very fair in their personal relationships are sometimes very happy to get their way, any way they can, at work while others are the other way around.
People are people, I guess.



Where does the PYL/pyl identification of oneself and the whole self separate?

Is identification impactful in how you live life or treat others or see yourself in the world?


I'm sorry, these are timeworn topics. I am having a little moral confusion with myself.
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This is why I try to stay away from those identification statements, when ever I can.
Mostof us have many roles in life and we do sometimes act very differently depending on what role we are currently in.
It can be very unauthentic and false, but sometimes it's just about interaction, between people or because of circumstances.

I have no idea if this was what you wanted to talk about though?
Can you describe the moral confusion without getting too personal perhaps?
 
Primalex said:
To get on-topic again - I have made quite some threads about the various aspects of consent. Not all developed the way I had hoped, but that's life. Feel free to check them out or ignore them.

What would you do if BDSM would be illegal?

Is there a line where kinky turns into sick?

How young is too young?

Love is unethical

Dominance | ecnanimoD

Forced swallowing
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alright, just to be clear: judging by the examples you have given, do you or do you not believe that a woman's consent is important? what about her age? please answer yes/no. thank you.
 
Consent can change at any time. I just became aware that the popular and much loved porn actress Stoya was raped by her ex James Deen, a fellow porn actor. Just because you say yes to someone before doesn't mean you can't get raped by that same person later on. It's a sad truth. On a minor note, I never liked that slime ball James Deen. Every girl seemed to love him and I sensed something off about him. Dickhead.

I'm sorry if this doesn't add to the conversation. Whether you're a guy or a girl, you should always feel safe and excited about doing something sexual. Not pressured, coerced or forced into it.
 
LostBabygirl3489 said:
Consent can change at any time. I just became aware that the popular and much loved porn actress Stoya was raped by her ex James Deen, a fellow porn actor. Just because you say yes to someone before doesn't mean you can't get raped by that same person later on. It's a sad truth. On a minor note, I never liked that slime ball James Deen. Every girl seemed to love him and I sensed something off about him. Dickhead.

I'm sorry if this doesn't add to the conversation. Whether you're a guy or a girl, you should always feel safe and excited about doing something sexual. Not pressured, coerced or forced into it.
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true! consent can be extended or rescinded at any time. james deen is a massive piece of shit.
 
Gianbattista said:
I think primarily its a philosophical issue but also an issue of relating how I live and how I want to live, and how I relate what is said by people with behaviour and trying to separate my falling in love with ideas with what is practical and consistent. Increasingly I suppose its accepting people talk talk and don't walk walk, or limit their behaviour to a small aspect of their life, not just in this realm, ( from the beginning here I have said...sounds like a lot of other relationships in most ways!). Understanding and knowing, but also translating Into how one chooses to live oneself are different I think,.
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Yes, I think I know what you mean.

Sometimes it just feels like there's too much compromise and practicalities in this grownup life.

Kind of reminds me of a conversation I had ages ago on the topic: Could you still be around people in your life/our society if you had to truthfully speak out every thought you had.
 
IrisAlthea said:
Kind of reminds me of a conversation I had ages ago on the topic: Could you still be around people in your life/our society if you had to truthfully speak out every thought you had.
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No, the wrapping is nice but the inside is a monster.

:rose:
 
Gianbattista said:
But if you had consent, for example, " Meekme......does my bottom look big in this...." I have the sense you could grade response to different humours.....appropriate for a proper, church going neighbour painicing , ' I think he second skirt suits you MUCH better, have a nice day" to a raucous friend " are you crazy? Don't wear that, donate that, never wear it again, its not your friend! wear that skirt you bought in summer, your legs go on for miles in it! "


They are clearly different responses, one politer:eek:. ( and the second not half as raucous as I might be with a good friend, but also not as encouraging...but quick and theoretical.....) I would say some friendship natures give consent for this...
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I don't actually need to have consent to voice my opinions. At least here I could just say what I want, right? For me it's weighing the consequences and whether or not I can handle them. Frankly, I know what a punch to the face feels like and I'm not interested in the headache that follows. :D

I think we'll go in circles. Like you, I have a vague something rattling around in my head, but I don't have enough to properly articulate my ideas here.
 
Gianbattista said:
I don't think anyone ( healthy) should need consent to voice their opinions. But I meant in tone...the manner I which the voicing might take shape?

Its interesting that you and lord Steve both say they same thing.....its about the consequences for you.

I think innately there must be that. I remember being in places with some people who I really wished would behave differently because of potential consequences. But I think its not always the motivator.
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It's more than consequences, but that is the quickest and easiest way of explaining it.
 
Incredible, simply incredible.

The amount of discussion over a simple little word.

Consent - two syllables and yet, it seems to mean different things to different people.

We have a ton of adjectives to enhance or muddy the meaning of the word.

Implied consent, imagined consent, deprived consent, etc, etc, etc.

In today's society it really is rather simple. Your partner can give or take away their consent at ANY point they choose.

Yeah, this means even if she has been saying yes, yes, yes, all night long and just as you bury yourself into her she decides to say "No, I've changed my mind." If you keep going, it's non-consensual and you WILL be charged with rape.

Consent is the simple agreement between two or more people to "do something" Doesn't matter what it is or what OTHER people think about whatever it is, as long as THEY consent to do it, it's fine between THEM. Otherwise, it will either be morally, ethically and/or legally WRONG.
 
Gianbattista said:
I don't think anyone ( healthy) should need consent to voice their opinions. But I meant in tone...the manner I which the voicing might take shape?

Its interesting that you and lord Steve both say they same thing.....its about the consequences for you.

I think innately there must be that. I remember being in places with some people who I really wished would behave differently because of potential consequences. But I think its not always the motivator.
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i would like to clarify: "consent" is, literally, in this case, the voicing of opinions. i don't consent to being punched in the face except in the context of competitive martial arts, because being punched in the face sucks. if some random dude punched me in the face, i would be pretty upset about it!

i think that some of the people in this thread are over-complicating consent. have you made it clear that you want to fuck the person who you are fucking? if yes, they have your consent. if not, fuck them up.
 
To me it seems to be about authenticity and consistency.
Consent is more of an example I think, where it can be interesting to look at how we act in different situations more complicated than "No, I do/don't want to do x with you."
 
Gianbattista said:
YES
:heart::heart::heart:
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And yet...., we need not always be consistent to be authentic ; we are human, not robot.
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Yep, that is how I have settled it with myself.
Sometimes I still have to get introspective about it though and sometimes my inner teenager comes out and asks me if I'm not just rationalising.
 
IrisAlthea said:
To me it seems to be about authenticity and consistency.
Consent is more of an example I think, where it can be interesting to look at how we act in different situations more complicated than "No, I do/don't want to do x with you."
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this is an answer that i'm okay with.
 
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