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Old 07-11-2018, 05:53 PM   #26
policywank
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I love sex, but it needs to be good sex.

Sorry to oversimplify but for guys almost all sex is good sex. Some is better but it is fairly unusual that it is an unsatisfying experience. Not so for women. Sex is not dependably satisfying and often comes with some negative aspects. We donít orgasm as much AND we have to pretend we do to keep guys happy. We are exposed to negative judgment and abusive treatment for all kinds of reasons.

Not liking the sex on offer does not mean we donít like sex. A woman not wanting to fuck her sexually unsatisfying partner is not the same as a woman not wanting to fuck. Maybe some of those wives of complaining husbands would just love to be fucked properly.

Just because I pass on an unappetizing meal doesnít mean Iím not hungry.
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Old 07-11-2018, 06:10 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Greeneyes787 View Post
Hi married 11 years two kids. I love sex! Or rather the idea of it seeing as itís really hard to find time. I work part time and breastfeeding which causes dryness and toddler co sleeps. It was great when it was just us. After birthing two boys my body has changed a lot. I donít have the confidence in my body I used too. My husband likes things quick and always the same. I try to tell him what I want; what turns me on and he refuses.
That is certainly a problem there. Sex has to be mutually satisfying or one person is not going to be interested.
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Old 07-11-2018, 08:31 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by Greeneyes787 View Post
Hi married 11 years two kids. I love sex! Or rather the idea of it seeing as itís really hard to find time. I work part time and breastfeeding which causes dryness and toddler co sleeps. It was great when it was just us. After birthing two boys my body has changed a lot. I donít have the confidence in my body I used too. My husband likes things quick and always the same. I try to tell him what I want; what turns me on and he refuses.
Meanwhile many of us would like to be given a clue what our female partner wants.
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Old 07-12-2018, 09:13 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by policywank View Post
I love sex, but it needs to be good sex.

Sorry to oversimplify but for guys almost all sex is good sex. Some is better but it is fairly unusual that it is an unsatisfying experience. Not so for women. Sex is not dependably satisfying and often comes with some negative aspects. We donít orgasm as much AND we have to pretend we do to keep guys happy. We are exposed to negative judgment and abusive treatment for all kinds of reasons.

Not liking the sex on offer does not mean we donít like sex. A woman not wanting to fuck her sexually unsatisfying partner is not the same as a woman not wanting to fuck. Maybe some of those wives of complaining husbands would just love to be fucked properly.

Just because I pass on an unappetizing meal doesnít mean Iím not hungry.
i can agree with some of this, as a guy i have had to "fake it" before. i had an ex that wanted it the same way everytime it got so boring id fake cum just so she wasnt mad that i didnt cum. well same thing over and over get boring and eventually just not worth the time and energy.
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Old 07-12-2018, 09:24 AM   #30
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I thoroughly disagree...I personally love sex....
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Old 07-12-2018, 09:42 AM   #31
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Have to give a hand to policywank...think they hit it on the head exactly...after all who wants to be thoroughly disappointed in bed??? If the sex sucks...no they arenít going to want to engage in it....even we men get to that point...who wants to fuck someone and get no satisfaction out of the deal????
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Old 07-12-2018, 10:22 AM   #32
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So right

Quote:
Originally Posted by policywank View Post
I love sex, but it needs to be good sex.

Sorry to oversimplify but for guys almost all sex is good sex. Some is better but it is fairly unusual that it is an unsatisfying experience. Not so for women. Sex is not dependably satisfying and often comes with some negative aspects. We donít orgasm as much AND we have to pretend we do to keep guys happy. We are exposed to negative judgment and abusive treatment for all kinds of reasons.

Not liking the sex on offer does not mean we donít like sex. A woman not wanting to fuck her sexually unsatisfying partner is not the same as a woman not wanting to fuck. Maybe some of those wives of complaining husbands would just love to be fucked properly.

Just because I pass on an unappetizing meal doesnít mean Iím not hungry.
Couldnít agree more! Just because she doesnít want you doesnít mean she doesnít want sex.
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Old 07-12-2018, 11:13 AM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by policywank View Post

Sorry to oversimplify but for guys almost all sex is good sex. Some is better but it is fairly unusual that it is an unsatisfying experience. Not so for women. Sex is not dependably satisfying and often comes with some negative aspects. We donít orgasm as much AND we have to pretend we do to keep guys happy. We are exposed to negative judgment and abusive treatment for all kinds of reasons.
Perhaps it can be said, at the risk of oversimplifying, that it doesn't apply to older guys, or to most older guys ... or to me at least

There is a great appreciation of quality sex now and any kind of sex just does not have much appeal anymore
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Old 07-12-2018, 01:23 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by vibes View Post
Perhaps it can be said, at the risk of oversimplifying, that it doesn't apply to older guys, or to most older guys ... or to me at least

There is a great appreciation of quality sex now and any kind of sex just does not have much appeal anymore

Fair enough. Most men I know become more discerning over time.

But I do think that across all age groups the consistency with which the sexual experience is positive is greater for men. Part of that is anatomy of a male orgasm vs a female orgasm. Part of it is mindset. Selfish or self-centred lovers come in both genders but men have a higher propensity to let their own self-delusion about their own sexual adequacy actually get in the way of understanding female sexuality.
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Old 07-12-2018, 01:51 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by policywank View Post
Fair enough. Most men I know become more discerning over time.

But I do think that across all age groups the consistency with which the sexual experience is positive is greater for men. Part of that is anatomy of a male orgasm vs a female orgasm. Part of it is mindset. Selfish or self-centred lovers come in both genders but men have a higher propensity to let their own self-delusion about their own sexual adequacy actually get in the way of understanding female sexuality.
I like that this has turned into a bigger discussion!

Id agree that men have a bigger stigma and hangup about sex. Like I said before in my original post, I think physically speaking, sex becomes a bigger deal to a guy. Some because of physical feelings, like literal pain when you are backed up, but also because its a big deal to know a woman physically desires you. For a man, you have to understand that a lot of our hangups are because of women. Men want to be appealing. Want to know why guys are hung up on size? Women say they like bigger. Do all women? I dont think so, but thats what we see and hear, and read in magazines.

Think about relationships. If a guy cheats, he is a dog. If a woman cheats, its because the guy wasnt taking care of business or making her happy. Its scary as a guy to think we might not be satisfying our partner, because it means she might have or will be one foot out the door.

I liked the point someone made earlier about that when it comes to pleasing a woman, theres a lot more equipment to work with, but when it comes to a woman pleasing a man, theres really only one thing to do. I know for me personally, I want to be as open as possible sexually for my partner. Im a try-sexual, Ill try it once. I try to be that open, because I dont ever want my partner thinking "my guy wouldnt try that with me"

I think one of the things that Ive found in life in generally, and it carries over to sex. Im a pleaser. I like to make people happy. It gives me the utmost pleasure to please a woman. I absolutely love to give oral. I dont even need anything in return. To me, just HEARING a woman cum, can get me close. I love hearing a woman and knowing she's enjoying herself. To me, the perfect relationship would be someone who also enjoys pleasing. That way we are constantly pleasuring each other by either giving or receiving. As Ive gotten older, Ill say Ive had a hard time finding women pleasers. Maybe Im looking in the wrong spots, or maybe Im not looking for the right things. Most of the women (not all) I have been with were more "What can you do for me" and then were either content to just finish me off or wouldnt return the favor when it was my turn.

Im 35, and believe me, I know I havent gotten sex or women figured out. Im having a blast trying. I was a late bloomer, and God I wish i had someone who couldve given me advice when I was younger. Reading threads like this is something Ive missed for a very long time.
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Old 07-12-2018, 02:18 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by policywank View Post
I love sex, but it needs to be good sex.

Sorry to oversimplify but for guys almost all sex is good sex. Some is better but it is fairly unusual that it is an unsatisfying experience. Not so for women. Sex is not dependably satisfying and often comes with some negative aspects. We donít orgasm as much AND we have to pretend we do to keep guys happy. We are exposed to negative judgment and abusive treatment for all kinds of reasons.

Not liking the sex on offer does not mean we donít like sex. A woman not wanting to fuck her sexually unsatisfying partner is not the same as a woman not wanting to fuck. Maybe some of those wives of complaining husbands would just love to be fucked properly.

Just because I pass on an unappetizing meal doesnít mean Iím not hungry.
Very good post. I had a friends with benefits arrangement with a lady who was married but in the process of splitting. Apparently her husband didnt do foreplay, just climbed on did his thing and rolled off with no thought to her. We took our time together and i have to say the sex was amazing, she has great imagination and few inhibitions. I'm sure he would tell everyone she was disinterested in sex though.
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Old 07-12-2018, 03:31 PM   #37
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wow subject changed.

this post went from "women dont like sex as much as men" to "men are not as good of lovers". thats a very sterotyped statement made by ppl. just saying men dont do it as good is weak. if You are a sexual strong women or man u should tell ur lover this is what i want, like, dislike. if u cant give me that we have a problem. i hate when i hear men arent as good.
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Old 07-12-2018, 03:39 PM   #38
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They like it when it benefits them. Once you marry them then that shits over with.

Speaking generally ofcourse... There are some freaks out there...
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Old 07-12-2018, 03:41 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by policywank View Post
I love sex, but it needs to be good sex.

Sorry to oversimplify but for guys almost all sex is good sex. Some is better but it is fairly unusual that it is an unsatisfying experience. Not so for women. Sex is not dependably satisfying and often comes with some negative aspects. We donít orgasm as much AND we have to pretend we do to keep guys happy. We are exposed to negative judgment and abusive treatment for all kinds of reasons.

Not liking the sex on offer does not mean we donít like sex. A woman not wanting to fuck her sexually unsatisfying partner is not the same as a woman not wanting to fuck. Maybe some of those wives of complaining husbands would just love to be fucked properly.

Just because I pass on an unappetizing meal doesnít mean Iím not hungry.
Total double standard... I guarantee that tons of men, probably even the majority of healthy men would love nothing more than to please their woman/wife/partner ...
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Old 07-12-2018, 05:24 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by Remy88 View Post
They like it when it benefits them. Once you marry them then that shits over with.

Speaking generally ofcourse... There are some freaks out there...
And weíve come full circle.
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Old 07-13-2018, 02:31 AM   #41
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A woman can ways cum more times than a guy so I try to always make sure she has a couple of orgasms before doing anything with me. It is seeing a woman get aroused, hear her moans of pleasure and how she moves that gets me really aroused. I definitely prefer a vocal woman to help me know what feels best for her.
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Old 07-13-2018, 03:06 AM   #42
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My experience with sex has not been positive , I have only had guys cum inside me then either turn over or just want a hug , which when you're frustrated does not help , I did ask once for an orgasm being honest that a guy has never given me one , I got fingered for about 2 mins at the most then he complained about cramp and left me to use a toy ,
Why would any lady want that it's quicker to just go use a toy at least I orgasm several times .
I'm not asking for sex again from current partner although he never offers anyway , although finding other ways to meet my needs is very very hard.
Having a very high sex drive though means I still want sex , but good passionate adventurous sex
I'm lucky to have meet some amazing guys on here who I can vent to
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Old 07-13-2018, 04:41 AM   #43
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Neither men, nor women 'need' sex. There is a very real biological imperative to 'want' sex. Even a social imperative to want it. But we can, and some of us do, live without it. It doesn't mean that we stop wanting it, but for some of us, it's just not possible. I think that some women get used to never being satisfied, and they give up. Some men do too.

But the idea that you can't live without getting your balls drained? That's insane. There are some men who consider it wrong, and beneath them, to even masturbate. They think that women were created just to be a hole to fill with semen. I think that is even more insane.

If you believe women are any different in their sex drive than men, think again. There is no difference except individual difference.
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Old 07-13-2018, 05:44 AM   #44
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In my experience, women love sex! They may not be as keen on fucking right away, but when they are ready... I remember an old girlfriend telling me how odd it was..these guys wanting to fuck her and yet, after a relationship starts, its a once a week think (it was two times a day for us, ah youth!)
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Old 07-13-2018, 06:10 AM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by policywank View Post
I love sex, but it needs to be good sex.

Sorry to oversimplify but for guys almost all sex is good sex. Some is better but it is fairly unusual that it is an unsatisfying experience. Not so for women. Sex is not dependably satisfying and often comes with some negative aspects. We donít orgasm as much AND we have to pretend we do to keep guys happy. We are exposed to negative judgment and abusive treatment for all kinds of reasons.

Not liking the sex on offer does not mean we donít like sex. A woman not wanting to fuck her sexually unsatisfying partner is not the same as a woman not wanting to fuck. Maybe some of those wives of complaining husbands would just love to be fucked properly.

Just because I pass on an unappetizing meal doesnít mean Iím not hungry.
We seem to be polar opposites.

The only time I could call what I had "bad" sex, was when my ex was trying to get me pregnant. Lights off, as nearly fully clothed as possible, no touching except for genitals and only then very quickly. In looking back, I must have brought myself to orgasm right after he left to go golfing which is exactly what he did the second he came. That orgasm must have made me pregnant. Heh. At any rate, I could hardly call that sex. More like a meeting of the genitals with a partner who was disgusted over the whole thing.

I do know that I'm not typical for a female. I am almost always horny. And while foreplay is nice, I don't always need much of it. A long hug or a kiss or even a slow dance is usually enough to get me ready. And I cum very easily. Almost always long before he does and several orgasms. Heck, just the anticipation of his cock entering me is enough for me to cum when it does. And I can cum from giving blow jobs. I guess I'm just lucky that way. Or the guy I'm with is lucky. Maybe both!
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Old 07-13-2018, 06:21 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by Nevyn_Black View Post
Neither men, nor women 'need' sex. There is a very real biological imperative to 'want' sex. Even a social imperative to want it. But we can, and some of us do, live without it. It doesn't mean that we stop wanting it, but for some of us, it's just not possible. I think that some women get used to never being satisfied, and they give up. Some men do too.

But the idea that you can't live without getting your balls drained? That's insane. There are some men who consider it wrong, and beneath them, to even masturbate. They think that women were created just to be a hole to fill with semen. I think that is even more insane.

If you believe women are any different in their sex drive than men, think again. There is no difference except individual difference.
We all have different sex drives. I have known people of both sexes who did/do not masturbate. Some found it disgusting. Some thought it was not needed. Some thought orgasms no matter how they came about were not necessary.

The good thing is that there are all kinds of people out there and hopefully if we feel the need for a partner (not everyone does), we will find one that is suited to us.

However, it has been my experience at least with my female friends that most of them flat out do not like sex. They only put up with it because they wanted children.

I have found that I have to be careful what I say to them. They don't seem to understand why I might want sex and tell me to avoid men that might want it. I guess they figure that I am old enough now that getting pregnant won't happen, so why bother with men?

That's one reason I come here. People here understand. Most of my friends don't.
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Old 07-13-2018, 06:29 AM   #47
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Originally Posted by Disturbingimage View Post
this post went from "women dont like sex as much as men" to "men are not as good of lovers". thats a very sterotyped statement made by ppl. just saying men dont do it as good is weak. if You are a sexual strong women or man u should tell ur lover this is what i want, like, dislike. if u cant give me that we have a problem. i hate when i hear men arent as good.
In reality SOME women don't like sex as much as SOME men, SOME men are good lovers and SOME aren't. I've certainly met women who have been brainwashed into the view that women shouldn't like sex and it is only for creating children.

Its all very well saying tell your partner what you like and dislike but some people just don't listen or don't care.
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Old 07-13-2018, 06:35 AM   #48
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We all have different sex drives. I have known people of both sexes who did/do not masturbate. Some found it disgusting. Some thought it was not needed. Some thought orgasms no matter how they came about were not necessary.

The good thing is that there are all kinds of people out there and hopefully if we feel the need for a partner (not everyone does), we will find one that is suited to us.

However, it has been my experience at least with my female friends that most of them flat out do not like sex. They only put up with it because they wanted children.

I have found that I have to be careful what I say to them. They don't seem to understand why I might want sex and tell me to avoid men that might want it. I guess they figure that I am old enough now that getting pregnant won't happen, so why bother with men?

That's one reason I come here. People here understand. Most of my friends don't.
True, we are all different.

My ex-wife for example; enjoys sex when in a relationship, doesn't think about it now she is single and never masturbates (or certainly has told me this, I haven't asked recently )

Some of her friends used to tell her about things they did, which she would never consider, others were firmly in the "once a month put up with it" camp.

A female friend apparently masturbates pretty much every day, because she likes the feeling, but likes sex with someone else less often. Whatever works for you is my view.

The ideal is to pair up with someone with similar sex drive and interests.
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Old 07-13-2018, 06:45 AM   #49
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True, we are all different.

My ex-wife for example; enjoys sex when in a relationship, doesn't think about it now she is single and never masturbates (or certainly has told me this, I haven't asked recently )

Some of her friends used to tell her about things they did, which she would never consider, others were firmly in the "once a month put up with it" camp.

A female friend apparently masturbates pretty much every day, because she likes the feeling, but likes sex with someone else less often. Whatever works for you is my view.

The ideal is to pair up with someone with similar sex drive and interests.
Exactly.
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Old 07-13-2018, 05:43 PM   #50
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After some time on Lit - and reading the thread ďThe Men Whoís (Whose Wives Have No Sex DriveĒ- I am convinced that, deep down (no pun intended), many (if not most) women donít really care for sex on a regular basis. They fake it to seduce the guy into marriage for security (and to have children) - but, once they have trapped him, they quickly lose interest, and wait for the inevitable divorce. Why is that???

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I'm sorry but this is total BS and ABSOLUTELY NOT true!

There are indeed all kinds of women out there. I know stunning 20-somethings that say they hate or avoid all things sexual. And I know 60-somethings that are in swingers clubs.

There's no right or wrong as long as it's between consenting adults - just no kids though please!!!
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