Things You'll Never Hear a Woman Say

Isolde

Guardian's Desire
Joined
Dec 27, 2000
Posts
4,432
Although I know there will be exceptions to this.


Things you'll never hear a woman say:
=====================================

o Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.

o Go ahead and leave the seat up.

o I think hairy butts are really sexy.

o Hey, get a whiff of that one.

o Please don't throw that old t-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.

o This diamond is way too big.

o I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.

o Wow, it really is 14 inches!

o Does this make my butt look too small?

o I'm wrong, you must be right again.

o I think belching is really sexy.

o Sure, I'd love for us to have three-way sex with my best friend.

o Why don't you go out with your friends to see the strippers tonight?

o I could never be with any other man, but I don't mind at all if you see other women.

o I insist that you always put your mother before me

o I love a good cigar after sex

o I think we should spend our life savings and buy a big, old bass boat.

o Move over, I'm driving. I love city traffic.

o The smell of oil and gas makes me horny. Let's do it on the workbench.

o That porn star Dixie Dynamite sounds like one heads-up chick. I wish I could meet her one day.

o It's so romantic when you pull out and cum on my back.

o Let's skip that stage show with Mel Gibson and go watch the Tyson fight at a bar.

o That shirt doesn't smell bad enough to need washing. Wear it again today.

o Your buddies tell the best stories. I could listen to them all day.

o I understand.

o You don't swear enough.

o I love it when you finger me while you drive.

o Let's stay at that dirty, old motel on the highway. It's cheaper and we can spend the money we save on beer.

o Don't fix the toilet, I'll just keep going in the bushes outside.

o Sure, you can wear your old work boots at our wedding. They go with anything.

o I think I'll call him up and ask him out.

o Sleeping with all the guys on the softball team doesn't make that girl a slut! She's just really friendly.

o I farted again. Lift the covers so we can smell it.

o Don't dirty a knife or fork, eat with your hands like me.

o Oh yeah,... *any* hole you want!!!
 
TWO things I have said before....:D


This diamond is way too big.

I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow
 
Isolde said:
o Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.

o Does this make my butt look too small?

o Don't dirty a knife or fork, eat with your hands like me.


This is me.
 
Isolde said:
Although I know there will be exceptions to this.


Things you'll never hear a woman say:
=====================================

o It's so romantic when you pull out and cum on my back.

o I love it when you finger me while you drive.



I knew you really liked that and were just telling me to stop to keep me on edge. :)
 
I've been asked to finger someone while driving before...and I've also been told to tag along with a depressed friend to the strip club.
-CoolCucumber
 
*laughs* Like I said...in this board I knew there would be exceptions.

And indy..I love keeping you on edge. ;)
 
Hmmm..... I don't know, that all sounds about right.

But, I'm not a diamond girl, that's the only exception. I'm more of a semi precious girl. I really like opals!

and this one is really cool, because it's been cute like a gem!
opl615.jpg


[Edited by Myst on 05-09-2001 at 11:29 AM]
 
Are you sure this isn't the Rednecks guide to dateing?..Looks like it to me.


Also...Diamonds suck.




CH
 
ah, those exceptions...

There is something about the smell of an engine, especially an older one like a Chevy 350.

But never the workbench, I prefer the hood. ;)
 
I love diamonds and all the precious gems! One thing you will never hear a woman say is "No honey don't stop and ask for directions".
 
Come to think of it...I don't think I've ever heard a woman say: "Honey, don't worry about stopping by tonight...go out drinking with the guys."
-CoolCucumber
 
Isolde said:

o Move over, I'm driving. I love city traffic.

o The smell of oil and gas makes me horny. Let's do it on the workbench.

o Let's skip that stage show with Mel Gibson and go watch the Tyson fight at a bar.

o I love it when you finger me while you drive.

o Let's stay at that dirty, old motel on the highway. It's cheaper and we can spend the money we save on beer.

o I think I'll call him up and ask him out.




I'm so ashamed
 
I must be a very nontypical female

Isolde said:

o Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.
o Hey, get a whiff of that one.
o This diamond is way too big.
o I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
o Does this make my butt look too small?
o I'm wrong, you must be right again.
o Why don't you go out with your friends to see the strippers tonight?
o Move over, I'm driving. I love city traffic.
o It's so romantic when you pull out and cum on my back.
o Your buddies tell the best stories. I could listen to them all day.
o I understand.
o I love it when you finger me while you drive.
o I think I'll call him up and ask him out.
o I farted again. Lift the covers so we can smell it.
/B]


Not that I've said them all exactly, but I have said some of the ones I've copied above and could imagine saying the rest. I guess I'm odd huh?
hatnature.gif
 
Back
Top