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Old 11-26-2017, 09:42 PM   #651
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Just prayin'.
Well, it's at least as good as making a wish on a falling star.
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Old 11-26-2017, 09:53 PM   #652
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I'm not doing much, just killing people.
Well stop that.
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Old 11-26-2017, 10:18 PM   #653
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Stop strangling your dick!
I assure you, that's the only victim here. But I'll pay him off so he won't ruin my political career. . . .
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Old 11-26-2017, 11:22 PM   #654
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I've got a little song, hit ain't very long
Hit's all about a MUR-der
Jim Hopkin's dog, hit et mah frog
An hit don't go no FUR-der
You're writing for Taylor Swift now, aren't you?
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Old 11-27-2017, 07:29 AM   #655
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I really enjoy Taylor Swift's music now, don't you?
Well, someone has to, but it's not me.
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Old 11-27-2017, 08:23 AM   #656
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They asked for volunteers so I jumped up and shouted, "Me! Me!
The innocent walk in where the wise fear to tread. Beware unintended consequences. Like hickeys.
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Old 11-27-2017, 01:47 PM   #657
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Those drool-excreting nutcases always make me feel uncomfortable; especially when they keep trying to hug you. I have an uncle who'd lost an ear that way.
What does that have to do with my precious little baby!?
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Old 11-27-2017, 07:06 PM   #658
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I hate babies!
Their the worst.
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Old 11-27-2017, 07:39 PM   #659
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There goes the worst of the worst.
Just don't flip him off, you might get fired.
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:08 PM   #660
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If Mueller doesn't flip Kelly, Tromp might go free.
Oh yeah, talk dirty politics to me! Like the filthy new Word-of-the-Year: Complicit. Oh yeah, say it again! Complicit! how it rolls off your sexy tongue...
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:30 PM   #661
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Oh yeah, talk alky-hall to me! Vodka! Coffee! Whiskey! Brandy! Yeah, say it again!
Geez, man. I hope the doc clears ya soon. You're getting a tad obsessive.
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Old 11-28-2017, 02:33 PM   #662
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Geez, man. I hope the doc neuters ya soon. You're getting a tad aggressive.
Put on these handcuffs and matching collar; it will be a date you'll never forget, she said! If you are a good boy, maybe we will play doctor, she said!
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Old 11-28-2017, 06:43 PM   #663
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Put on your old grey bonnet with the blue ribbon on it while I hitch old Dobbin to the shay. And through the fields of clover we'll ride off to Dover for our golden wedding day.
You've sure gotten sentimental. Mental, anyway. Watch out for the horse poop.
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Old 11-28-2017, 07:09 PM   #664
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You've gotten quite continental.
Why, thank you . . . I think.
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Old 11-28-2017, 08:15 PM   #665
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Why, thank you . . . I am indeed hungry for something pink.
Wait . . . I was thinking about salmon. What's on your filthy mind?
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Old 11-28-2017, 09:05 PM   #666
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Wait . . . you were thinking about cupcake icing? What's on the filthy side of your mind?
Sorry, still cupcake icing.
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Old 11-28-2017, 10:09 PM   #667
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Silly, a cup of rum will do wonders for you.
Yo ho ho. That's what the Pirate Queen told me. But look at me now!
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Old 11-29-2017, 01:18 AM   #668
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Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. Thatís what the Fairy Godmother said. But look at me now!
Wow... I mean... Wow...
The horse-head definitely will take some time to get used to, but if it comes with a matching set of tools, Iím willing to give it a try.
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Old 11-29-2017, 06:49 PM   #669
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Wow... I mean... Wow...
The pool table definitely will take some time to get used to, but if it comes with a matching set of cues, Iím willing to give it a try.
Merry Christmas!
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Old 11-29-2017, 09:04 PM   #670
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Merrily we roll along, roll along roll along
Merrily we roll along, and damn the consequences!
They've piled-up XMas trees for a roadblock up ahead. Ready the flamethrowers. And look for alternate routes.
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Old 11-29-2017, 09:11 PM   #671
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They've piled-up XMas trees for a roadblock up ahead!
Ramming speed! (I've always wanted to say that.)
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Old 11-29-2017, 09:12 PM   #672
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Merry Fuck You! Enjoy the next 26 days of "Feliz Navidad" on the office sound system.
My present for everyone this year is that they all get to go on living. I mean, to the extent that it's within my control.
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Old 11-29-2017, 09:25 PM   #673
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My present?
Dear Santa,
Can I get early delivery on noise canceling headphones . . . or at least some high quality ear plugs?
Love,
Joe-Bob
:
Dear Joe-Bob,
Santa is dead.
Love,
MP
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Old 11-29-2017, 10:10 PM   #674
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Dear Joe-Bob,
That twisted old bastard with his army of elfin slaves can't disappoint you anymore.
Love,
MP
Good! I'll just order them from China. Hmm . . . seems like the same kinda deal. . . .
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Old 11-30-2017, 12:44 PM   #675
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Good! I'll just order them from Walmart. Hmm . . . seems like the same kinda deal. . . .
Itís the cookies that ruin every bargain. Big Vendor is watching you.
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