Need Help

I posted my first story "Gregory's awakening" I know it is a train wreck. I have already gone back over the story and cleaned it up a lot. I honestly didn't expect it to be approved. I am scrambling to fix it. Would anyone be willing to look through the latest round of editing I have done? Also I really don't know the nuances of working with all of you editors on here so if I am doing this wrong please let me know. I didn't want to just attach the story here unless it what I am supposed to do.

Here's a link to the story in question.

https://www.literotica.com/s/gregs-awakening

Mind Control, 3 Lit pages.

The OP has a bunch of comments saying, "Get an editor" - which he definitely needs - plus the usual, "Love it, can't wait for more."

Badbane, the usual process is write, find editor, submit, lap up adulation.

You're doing it backwards: write, submit, get both good and bad comments, think oh dear, is that what editors are for, better get one.

Someone will pop by and take a look, so make sure your Private Messages is activated, coz that's how they'll contact you, and go from there.

When you have your new copy, resubmit with the same story name plus EDIT in the title, and fill in the Notes to Editor box, saying "This is an edited story." That way,existing scores and comments will be kept. Good luck.

Thanks guys

I know I am naive but I thought and editor would reject it and I'd get feed back. I didn't think it would get published that fast. Thanks for helping out the noob. I promise to try and get gud. Thanks again.

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badbane said:

I know I am naive but I thought and editor would reject it and I'd get feed back. I didn't think it would get published that fast. Thanks for helping out the noob. I promise to try and get gud. Thanks again.

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The only advice you get when a story is rejected is one of maybe half a dozen standard rejection notices. You don't get anything specific to your story, and it's up to the writer to figure it out and clean it up. The site editor focuses more on content compliance and basic grammar. In your case, you got it through first time, but yes, it's pretty rough.

Your comments zero in on the poor editorial quality. You need to focus on basic grammar, sentence construction and so on. If you draft in Word, at least run it through its grammar check to pick up the basic glitches. That should clean up a fair chunk of your mistakes, which from a very quick scan of the opening paragraphs seemed to be basic stuff.

Most editors do expect writers to have least done that (run a basic grammar and spell check), before seeking further input.

I'm sorry if this seems rude or blunt, but when there is an error in almost every sentence I think that 'get an editor' is not really the right advice. It would be much better to try to learn the writing skills you need. As already suggested, loading the story into a word processor might help. Here are a few points in the first few sentences.

Thirty-something should have a hyphen.
A sentence containing only -ing verbs is not a proper sentence.
Sentences should start with capital letters.
You shouldn't have a comma in body, had.

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Okay I just read through the first few paragraphs. I agree with the above comments, go through and work out grammar and sentence structure mistakes on your own, as well as over used words and descriptors. After that it should at least be ready for peer review. I'm not an official editor or anything, but if you do all those things I would be happy to give it a peer review for you.
-J