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Old 09-11-2015, 11:56 PM   #1751
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Just stopping in to say hello and let you all know i haven't forgotten you. I see a lot of new names, something I'd rather not see in a thread like this.

I'm going to a memorial a week from today hosted by the medical school where SW donated his body. I thought his friends would like to know. I wish I had some great encouraging words but I'm emotionally and physically tapped out today, so I'll just leave you with hope for strength and courage and SW's antenna to guide your way.
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Old 09-12-2015, 12:17 AM   #1752
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Just stopping in to say hello and let you all know i haven't forgotten you. I see a lot of new names, something I'd rather not see in a thread like this.

I'm going to a memorial a week from today hosted by the medical school where SW donated his body. I thought his friends would like to know. I wish I had some great encouraging words but I'm emotionally and physically tapped out today, so I'll just leave you with hope for strength and courage and SW's antenna to guide your way.
A zillion 's to you.
Antenna felt and bounced back out into the universe - thank you!
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Old 09-14-2015, 04:58 PM   #1753
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A zillion 's to you.
Antenna felt and bounced back out into the universe - thank you!


Just getting back from another funeral. So sick of losing friends and family to the cell sucker! FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!!!
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Old 09-16-2015, 02:40 AM   #1754
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Originally Posted by ThisIsMyRedShirt View Post
Just stopping in to say hello and let you all know i haven't forgotten you. I see a lot of new names, something I'd rather not see in a thread like this.

I'm going to a memorial a week from today hosted by the medical school where SW donated his body. I thought his friends would like to know. I wish I had some great encouraging words but I'm emotionally and physically tapped out today, so I'll just leave you with hope for strength and courage and SW's antenna to guide your way.
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Just getting back from another funeral. So sick of losing friends and family to the cell sucker! FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!!!
It's so true. It's sad that this thread continues to grow, yet at the same time, it's helpful to be able to vent a little here and to know others understand or have lived with/dealt with similar issues.

My brother has now decided to stop his fentanyl patch. He thought it was a good idea. What he doesn't realize is how his ups and downs physically, emotionally, and psychological are affecting everyone around him. It's so hard to watch the changes in him. He's simply not the same man. I question is it because of the cancer, the drugs, the effects of both on his brain? I don't know what to do for him anymore.

To those of you dealing with cancer on any level, as the person with cancer, a family member, a friend, I wish you all strength, peace, and the ability to face another day.

FYC! You are taking away so much from so many. FY!
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Old 09-23-2015, 02:54 AM   #1755
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My brother has now decided to stop his fentanyl patch. He thought it was a good idea. What he doesn't realize is how his ups and downs physically, emotionally, and psychological are affecting everyone around him. It's so hard to watch the changes in him. He's simply not the same man. I question is it because of the cancer, the drugs, the effects of both on his brain? I don't know what to do for him anymore.

FYC! You are taking away so much from so many. FY!
Sending you strength, Apple, as you attempt to help your brother - clearly a most difficult patient ~ it is so difficult to watch those we love suffer when our medical experience might help them if they would let us.

FYC!
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Old 09-25-2015, 08:16 PM   #1756
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Haven't been around lately, but sending positive thoughts to those of this thread.

Been dealing with lung toxicity since the chemotherapy. Steroids haven't improved my situation but I am focusing on the idea that this healing process will take time and my situation will improve
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Old 09-26-2015, 01:07 AM   #1757
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Unhappy

I haven't posted much - I just haven't been feeling real communicative for awhile.

I do lurk, though.

And you people just continue to fucking amaze me. Your courage, strength, resolve and support in the face of horror.

I've wished lately for a health bar refresh for each of you, no matter if you're suffering from cancer physically, emotionally or in some other way that ends in -lly. Whether it's in your own body or in that of someone you hold dear.


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Old 09-26-2015, 01:29 AM   #1758
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I've been juggling other things, too.

BUT...I heard from my brother earlier this week. He has a clean bill of health for his prostate CA and for his carotid artery stent. BIG relief here!
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Old 09-26-2015, 06:11 AM   #1759
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I've been juggling other things, too.

BUT...I heard from my brother earlier this week. He has a clean bill of health for his prostate CA and for his carotid artery stent. BIG relief here!
Fantastic news desertslave
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Old 09-28-2015, 01:42 PM   #1760
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I've been juggling other things, too.

BUT...I heard from my brother earlier this week. He has a clean bill of health for his prostate CA and for his carotid artery stent. BIG relief here!

Congratulations!!!
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Old 09-28-2015, 10:48 PM   #1761
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Thank you all so much.

My mom died last night.

It's such a dark time, but she is finally out of pain, and my dad can finally stop seeing it.

Fuck you cancer.
Haven't been around much. I'm just seeing this. So, so very sorry DGE. It's the worst thing. I know. I'm so sorry.
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Old 09-29-2015, 10:10 PM   #1762
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Haven't been around much. I'm just seeing this. So, so very sorry DGE. It's the worst thing. I know. I'm so sorry.
Thanks, ITW. I'm going to agree with you.

It's interesting how the loss of a parent leaves you grieving in such varied ways. Ways You don't anticipate. There's the hole - the void of the person. But there's grief for a family that feels ... off. As if someone entered your home while you were out for a walk and moved all the furniture.

Grief for the parent left behind. Their realizations that no, they don't need to buy half and half anymore. That this magazine goes straight into the recycling bin. Those turn my chest to concrete.

Grief for yourself as a child, because, fuck. Mom.

And then the grief present in the loss of everything dear: what was and what will never be.

On another note, I hope you're well - there are lots of swell new people here, but you're missed.

On another another note, I'm glad, desertslave. And Apple, FYC.
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Old 09-30-2015, 12:24 AM   #1763
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Originally Posted by DeepGreenEyes View Post
Thanks, ITW. I'm going to agree with you.

It's interesting how the loss of a parent leaves you grieving in such varied ways. Ways You don't anticipate. There's the hole - the void of the person. But there's grief for a family that feels ... off. As if someone entered your home while you were out for a walk and moved all the furniture.

Grief for the parent left behind. Their realizations that no, they don't need to buy half and half anymore. That this magazine goes straight into the recycling bin. Those turn my chest to concrete.

Grief for yourself as a child, because, fuck. Mom.

And then the grief present in the loss of everything dear: what was and what will never be.

On another note, I hope you're well - there are lots of swell new people here, but you're missed.

On another another note, I'm glad, desertslave. And Apple, FYC.
Thank you, DGE. I'm glad to see you're peeking out a little. Your words are echoed in my heart and have been since my Mom and Dad died.

"Grief for yourself as a child, because, fuck. Mom. And then the grief present in the loss of everything dear: what was and what will never be."

I promise, it takes a lot of time, but slowly, little by little, you come back to life. It's just different. The loss is always present and you deal with it in different ways, but you learn to cope. Hugs to you my friend.

Apple
FYC! each and every day!
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Old 10-03-2015, 01:29 PM   #1764
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Thank you, DGE. I'm glad to see you're peeking out a little. Your words are echoed in my heart and have been since my Mom and Dad died.

"Grief for yourself as a child, because, fuck. Mom. And then the grief present in the loss of everything dear: what was and what will never be."

I promise, it takes a lot of time, but slowly, little by little, you come back to life. It's just different. The loss is always present and you deal with it in different ways, but you learn to cope. Hugs to you my friend.

Apple
FYC! each and every day!

Thank you very much Apple.
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Old 10-07-2015, 05:50 PM   #1765
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I haven't posted for a while and mainly lurk on this thread. Such raw sadness and comfort.

My mum has myeloma. She went for further tests this week to see if she is fit enough to undergo some powerful stem cell treatment that kicks the cancer on its ass for a couple of years. She has got the all clear for it. She is pleased and so this month holds a lot of day visits to hospital and then next month a whole month in hospital in isolation undergoing some nasty treatment. That is the bit I am scared about right now - for her, for me, for my Dad. Sounds like it will be a real ordeal. She is probably stronger than I am giving her credit for, but it will cut me to the bone to see her suffer.
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Old 10-08-2015, 10:39 AM   #1766
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I haven't posted for a while and mainly lurk on this thread. Such raw sadness and comfort.

My mum has myeloma. She went for further tests this week to see if she is fit enough to undergo some powerful stem cell treatment that kicks the cancer on its ass for a couple of years. She has got the all clear for it. She is pleased and so this month holds a lot of day visits to hospital and then next month a whole month in hospital in isolation undergoing some nasty treatment. That is the bit I am scared about right now - for her, for me, for my Dad. Sounds like it will be a real ordeal. She is probably stronger than I am giving her credit for, but it will cut me to the bone to see her suffer.
Think only positive thoughts for your Mom, LucyBee. Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way for you and your family!
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Old 10-08-2015, 12:22 PM   #1767
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I haven't posted for a while and mainly lurk on this thread. Such raw sadness and comfort.

My mum has myeloma. She went for further tests this week to see if she is fit enough to undergo some powerful stem cell treatment that kicks the cancer on its ass for a couple of years. She has got the all clear for it. She is pleased and so this month holds a lot of day visits to hospital and then next month a whole month in hospital in isolation undergoing some nasty treatment. That is the bit I am scared about right now - for her, for me, for my Dad. Sounds like it will be a real ordeal. She is probably stronger than I am giving her credit for, but it will cut me to the bone to see her suffer.
It's great that the tests show that she can go through with treatment.

My mother spent lots time in isolation when she was getting treatment and a tip is to making it easy to stay in touch via phone and perhaps skype etc.
I hope it turns out to be as un-nasty and as effective as possible.

FYC!
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Old 10-08-2015, 07:06 PM   #1768
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My mom just got some news that the recommendation for her chemo treatment has changed from one year to 3 years. this sucks.

FYC.
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Old 10-08-2015, 07:32 PM   #1769
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My mom just got some news that the recommendation for her chemo treatment has changed from one year to 3 years. this sucks.

FYC.
So sorry cascadia, my heart goes out to your mom, you, and your family. It's difficult to have to go through all of that. Be positive, stay strong, and give her all the love you have to give.

Apple

Quoting DGE here, because it is the perfect quote and it fits the situation.

"Grief for yourself as a child, because, fuck. Mom. And then the grief present in the loss of everything dear: what was and what will never be."

Today is the anniversary of my Mom's death. I think of her daily, but most especially today. I miss her greatly and my heart still hurts. "What was and what will never be," hits hard on days like this. I miss you mom, and I love you with all my heart and soul. (something she always said)

Ok, so she's most likely will not to happy to read this on a porn...I mean erotica site! But hey, she knows me and my tastes for things a bit off the norm.

Apple
FYC!!!
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Old 10-08-2015, 09:15 PM   #1770
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Today is the anniversary of my Mom's death. I think of her daily, but most especially today. I miss her greatly and my heart still hurts.

Apple
FYC!!!
These anniversaries are tough. Thinking of you, Apple.
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Old 10-09-2015, 09:52 AM   #1771
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My mom just got some news that the recommendation for her chemo treatment has changed from one year to 3 years. this sucks.

FYC.
That sucks! Positive thoughts and pravers for you and yours!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apple_of_Eden View Post
So sorry cascadia, my heart goes out to your mom, you, and your family. It's difficult to have to go through all of that. Be positive, stay strong, and give her all the love you have to give.

Apple

Quoting DGE here, because it is the perfect quote and it fits the situation.

"Grief for yourself as a child, because, fuck. Mom. And then the grief present in the loss of everything dear: what was and what will never be."

Today is the anniversary of my Mom's death. I think of her daily, but most especially today. I miss her greatly and my heart still hurts. "What was and what will never be," hits hard on days like this. I miss you mom, and I love you with all my heart and soul. (something she always said)

Ok, so she's most likely will not to happy to read this on a porn...I mean erotica site! But hey, she knows me and my tastes for things a bit off the norm.

Apple
FYC!!!
These anniversaries get so hard sometimes...triggering grief and a sense of loss. My mom told me, just before she passed, that the older you get, the more loved ones you lose and the more sad days can come your way. She then said, your job, is to remember the joy you shared with those people, so that is what really matters! So I try it, admittedly with mixed results!
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Old 10-09-2015, 05:49 PM   #1772
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Think only positive thoughts for your Mom, LucyBee. Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way for you and your family!
Thank you scotluvsoral, that is a good reminder. And reminds me to be thankful for each day and look at the sky rather than down at my shoes, metaphorically speaking.

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Originally Posted by IrisAlthea View Post
It's great that the tests show that she can go through with treatment.

My mother spent lots time in isolation when she was getting treatment and a tip is to making it easy to stay in touch via phone and perhaps skype etc.
I hope it turns out to be as un-nasty and as effective as possible.

FYC!
Thank you IrisAlthea. It is good she can have this treatment and thank you for the tip. I have never had a loved one in isolation in hospital before, so not quite sure what to expect.
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Old 10-09-2015, 05:51 PM   #1773
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My best wishes of strngth insuppport to you lucybee, and wishes of health for your mother
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Old 10-09-2015, 05:58 PM   #1774
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Grrrr...

So frustrated.

An infection in my chest (where my port stent is) and a decimated white count means chemo has to be pushed back a week. The antibiotic tears my stomach up and between that and the chemo the nausea is overwhelming...sooo weary..

I fucking HATE Cancer!!!
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Old 10-09-2015, 06:11 PM   #1775
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So frustrated.

An infection in my chest (where my port stent is) and a decimated white count means chemo has to be pushed back a week. The antibiotic tears my stomach up and between that and the chemo the nausea is overwhelming...sooo weary..

I fucking HATE Cancer!!!
Rest well, fight that infection.
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