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Old 09-26-2017, 05:21 PM   #3001
gracie920101
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I am sorry I didn't see this sooner. My heart breaks for you Cookie but yet I am relieved because Mr. Cookie is no longer locked in an uncompromising body.

Hugs

Fuck ALS & cancer!
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Old 09-28-2017, 10:10 AM   #3002
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
Mr. cookie and I were together five short years.

After almost 4 long years, my amazing, strong, kind, super smart husband died peacefully from ALS.

My heart is shattered. My brain tells me (and my heart knows) wherever he is, he is free from this wretched, wicked disease.

Fuck you, fuck you fuck you fuck you ALS
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry I don't have better words - I know they don't help, but maybe the knowledge that others are thinking of you and your husband does.
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Old 10-04-2017, 01:13 PM   #3003
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
Mr. cookie and I were together five short years.

After almost 4 long years, my amazing, strong, kind, super smart husband died peacefully from ALS.

My heart is shattered. My brain tells me (and my heart knows) wherever he is, he is free from this wretched, wicked disease.

Fuck you, fuck you fuck you fuck you ALS
Awww Cookiecat I am so very sorry for your loss but hoping Mr. Cookie can finally use his body again pain free and in peace wherever he is.

My heart breaks for you because we know it has been such a long, soul-wrenching fight and even though the end was a foregone conclusion it still leaves you in pieces. Please know I am praying for you sweetheart!
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Old 10-04-2017, 01:37 PM   #3004
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[quote=SalvDali;88054077]A good friend of my wife has a young child who just finished his leukemia treatments (for the second time) after being cancer free for several years.

so yea, FUCK YOU cancer.....


That just sucks! Hate when kid's hurt and chemo is brutal so doing it twice is the worst. Praying this time the leukemia stays gone.

FYC!
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Old 10-04-2017, 02:38 PM   #3005
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No words, just hugs and understanding.
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Old 10-05-2017, 10:46 PM   #3006
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Fuck you, cancer.

Fuck you, ALS.

Fuck you, _________.
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Old 10-06-2017, 12:24 AM   #3007
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Fuck you, cancer.

Fuck you, ALS.

Fuck you, _________.
... Farawyn? 😢


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Old 10-06-2017, 01:54 PM   #3008
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... Farawyn? 😢


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Never. I may have insulted you at times, but have I ever referred to you as a disease?
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Old 10-06-2017, 04:19 PM   #3009
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Never. I may have insulted you at times, but have I ever referred to you as a disease?
You've never even insulted me!
Yet.
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Old 10-09-2017, 01:50 AM   #3010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
Mr. cookie and I were together five short years.

After almost 4 long years, my amazing, strong, kind, super smart husband died peacefully from ALS.

My heart is shattered. My brain tells me (and my heart knows) wherever he is, he is free from this wretched, wicked disease.

Fuck you, fuck you fuck you fuck you ALS
Lots of love
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Old 10-09-2017, 10:15 AM   #3011
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It's like trying to wake up and brush your teeth like it's a normal thing to do. Like nothing has changed from the thousands of times that you have brushed your teeth through life. But then about 7.23 seconds in, you remember. You remember and and the pain floods in and you just start to ache in the offense of how the sun came up again today, on time with its perfect arch from the horizon line and clearly full of red hot apathy for what yesterday took and all the broken hearts left behind trying to beat.
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Old 10-10-2017, 05:11 PM   #3012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
Mr. cookie and I were together five short years.

After almost 4 long years, my amazing, strong, kind, super smart husband died peacefully from ALS.

My heart is shattered. My brain tells me (and my heart knows) wherever he is, he is free from this wretched, wicked disease.

Fuck you, fuck you fuck you fuck you ALS
I'm so sorry to learn this.
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Old 10-11-2017, 12:09 PM   #3013
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I tried quoting everyone to give individual replies but my reply mojo ran out of steam.

Sooo - whether you're unsure what to say, whether it's a virtual hug,an emoji rose or heart, even if we don't know each other that well - or we do - I'll take what I can get. I've learned all support feels pretty darn good.

It's been 3 weeks today mr. cookie died. I feel gutted. Scared. Hollow. Fuck ALS! Every time, though, I think I can't get out of bed, I remember he's free from this incredibly wicked disease. I out of get out of bed because of mr. cookie. i get out of bed because of the other stories I read here and know life moves on. It feels oddly good to share these stories - the sense of not being alone - is healing.

My sadness is consuming. My heart feeIs like it is melting. I really really miss him. Time to get out of bed.

Fuck ALS. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
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Old 10-11-2017, 12:30 PM   #3014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
I tried quoting everyone to give individual replies but my reply mojo ran out of steam.

Sooo - whether you're unsure what to say, whether it's a virtual hug,an emoji rose or heart, even if we don't know each other that well - or we do - I'll take what I can get. I've learned all support feels pretty darn good.

It's been 3 weeks today mr. cookie died. I feel gutted. Scared. Hollow. Fuck ALS! Every time, though, I think I can't get out of bed, I remember he's free from this incredibly wicked disease. I out of get out of bed because of mr. cookie. i get out of bed because of the other stories I read here and know life moves on. It feels oddly good to share these stories - the sense of not being alone - is healing.

My sadness is consuming. My heart feeIs like it is melting. I really really miss him. Time to get out of bed.

Fuck ALS. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck


♥️......
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Old 10-11-2017, 12:53 PM   #3015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
Sooo - whether you're unsure what to say, whether it's a virtual hug,an emoji rose or heart, even if we don't know each other that well - or we do - I'll take what I can get. I've learned all support feels pretty darn good.

My sadness is consuming. My heart feels like it is melting. I really really miss him. Time to get out of bed.

Fuck ALS. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
(((((Cookie)))))
Fuck ALS
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Old 10-11-2017, 01:00 PM   #3016
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Lots of hugs to you!

[quote=cookiecat;88133693
Sooo - whether you're unsure what to say, whether it's a virtual hug,an emoji rose or heart, even if we don't know each other that well - or we do - I'll take what I can get. I've learned all support feels pretty darn good. [/QUOTE]
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Old 10-11-2017, 04:32 PM   #3017
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So sorry to hear that, cookiecat. No words can help, but sending you a big virtual hug and a rose from across the pond ...

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Old 10-12-2017, 03:37 PM   #3018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
I tried quoting everyone to give individual replies but my reply mojo ran out of steam.

Sooo - whether you're unsure what to say, whether it's a virtual hug,an emoji rose or heart, even if we don't know each other that well - or we do - I'll take what I can get. I've learned all support feels pretty darn good.

It's been 3 weeks today mr. cookie died. I feel gutted. Scared. Hollow. Fuck ALS! Every time, though, I think I can't get out of bed, I remember he's free from this incredibly wicked disease. I out of get out of bed because of mr. cookie. i get out of bed because of the other stories I read here and know life moves on. It feels oddly good to share these stories - the sense of not being alone - is healing.

My sadness is consuming. My heart feeIs like it is melting. I really really miss him. Time to get out of bed.

Fuck ALS. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
*Huge hug* Our pain from loss shows how very important our loved ones were to us! Relish that love while you grieve! Some day soon, the pain will be just a little bit less and then gradually it will be more bearable. So sorry for your loss and FUCK, FUCK, FUCK ALS!!!
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Old 10-12-2017, 05:44 PM   #3019
Bramblethorn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
Mr. cookie and I were together five short years.

After almost 4 long years, my amazing, strong, kind, super smart husband died peacefully from ALS.

My heart is shattered. My brain tells me (and my heart knows) wherever he is, he is free from this wretched, wicked disease.

Fuck you, fuck you fuck you fuck you ALS
Somehow I only just saw this. I'm so sorry, Cookie. Wishing you peace and healing and the strength to last until those things arrive. *hugs*
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Old 10-12-2017, 06:07 PM   #3020
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
Time to get out of bed.
I hate this Rumi quote...


and it has saved my life several times

ps: Fuck ALS
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Old 10-13-2017, 02:04 AM   #3021
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^^^ one little step at a time...

Thanks to everyone for kind words and thoughts.

I feel a little rudderless. Mr. cookie kept me afloat. It's a weird feeling.

Support comes in all kinds of ways - I really do appreciate the posts and messages.

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Old 10-20-2017, 02:18 AM   #3022
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It's been one month, today.

How does time go so fast?

I never thought my heart could keep breaking but it does.

I wish I'd taken 1000 more pictures, said I love you 1000 more times.

Fuck ALS.

Fuck cancer.

Fuck being sick.

Fuck.
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Old 10-20-2017, 06:33 AM   #3023
Bramblethorn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
It's been one month, today.

How does time go so fast?

I never thought my heart could keep breaking but it does.

I wish I'd taken 1000 more pictures, said I love you 1000 more times.

Fuck ALS.

Fuck cancer.

Fuck being sick.

Fuck.
*hugs for Cookie*
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Old 10-21-2017, 08:00 PM   #3024
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
It's been one month, today.

How does time go so fast?

I never thought my heart could keep breaking but it does.

I wish I'd taken 1000 more pictures, said I love you 1000 more times.

Fuck ALS.

Fuck cancer.

Fuck being sick.

Fuck.
I've been away from this board for a couple months and did a mega catch-up this morning.

This made me cry.

Cookie - I don't know you or whether it will mean anything, or even whether it's creepy, but I generally only post here when something moves me.

*Huge hug from a stranger.
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Old 10-22-2017, 03:21 PM   #3025
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Cookiecat, I don't think we knew each other while I was here on a regular basis. but you're words are breaking my already broken heart. I can understand some of what you're feeling, having lost the love of my life just over 4 years ago. I still flounder, I still get lost. But you will find your way. To honor him, the love you shared. You will regain some stability, and you will do it not only for yourself, but for him as well. Sending hugs and warm thoughts your way.

I've lost a (another) very dear friend. Depending on what you believe? I know that if there is a Heaven, that's where she is. She was a fierce warrior. Battling breast cancer once, then again, then colon cancer and most recently liver cancer. She rarely complained, hardly ever felt sorry for herself, just took care of herself, working every day she could, and caring for her family as best she could and put one fucking foot in front of the other every damned day. This most recent was too much for her frail body to battle. The fucker won this round. I was lucky to have her friendship. I valued her words, her character, her spirit. I will keep that spirit with me, always.
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