Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > Poetry Feedback & Discussion

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 06-21-2012, 04:31 PM   #1
remy_lebeau8
Literotica Guru
 
remy_lebeau8's Avatar
 
remy_lebeau8 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: the states
Posts: 1,663
new to this writing thing. here goes. o

After years of guitar playing I've decided to try and write my own songs. However I've never been good with lyrics so I've tried poetry instead. Figured maybe I can tweak it into lyrics. Anyway here goes.

New American way


Sitting at the bar again
Getting drunk with my friends
Wonderin how my life has passed me by
Another year has gone by
Factory smoke still fills my eyes
Barely make enough to survive.
People slave away all day
It's become the American way
While we fall deeper in the hole
The cats on the hill get fatter
While we waste our grey matter
Never showing who or what we can be
I watch the market slide
Lookin like its fit to die.
So much fear so little hope

Hope you like it

Remy
__________________
Dealer wins! Not your day
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-22-2012, 09:54 AM   #2
bronzeage
I am a river to my people
 
bronzeage's Avatar
 
bronzeage is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Deep South, USA
Posts: 44,750
I like this, even though it's cliched in tone and sounds like John Mellancamp meets Bob Segar. Songs lyrics are much more forgiving than poems.
__________________
Daddy and Little One, the final chapter.
Lesbian Schoolgirl Enema Bondage, Something for everyone.

"Mama help me. I'm looking at a naked blue eyed man." Good clean fun with the Shower Girl.
Security provided by a well armed dancing peanut.

Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-22-2012, 03:51 PM   #3
remy_lebeau8
Literotica Guru
 
remy_lebeau8's Avatar
 
remy_lebeau8 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: the states
Posts: 1,663
You know I never thought of it like that but I am a home grown michigan boy who grew up listening to Bob Segar and John Mellancamp(both before my time). The music that's come to go with it is all real basic lol. Almost country like really except I don't have a country voice.

Thanks for the kind words

Remy
__________________
Dealer wins! Not your day
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:50 AM.

Copyright 1998-2007 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.