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Old 09-11-2017, 01:23 PM   #1
S3xSlav3
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Do any slaves find it hard to get there Master to punish them?

Im in a committed relationship with my Master. Very happy with our life together. I just would like her to punish me when. I do not follow the rules.

She hates the idea of punishment. She feels it isn't her place as my wife to do that. She wants me to follow the rules because I want to. I have not had much luck explaining why the punishment is important.

We are making it work... just wondering if others have this issue.
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Old 09-11-2017, 03:56 PM   #2
cookiecat
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A couple questions:

Why don't you follow the rules?

Why do you think punishment would make you comply? Why is punishment important?

What kind of punishment do you think you should be getting?
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Old 09-12-2017, 02:08 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
A couple questions:

Why don't you follow the rules?

Why do you think punishment would make you comply? Why is punishment important?

What kind of punishment do you think you should be getting?
I think these are very good questions.
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Old 09-12-2017, 03:31 PM   #4
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sissy has no problem with Her punishing sissy when She feels sissy deserves it.

If she is your master then she should decide when you get punished and not you. You may need to give Her some time to get use to the idea.
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Old 09-12-2017, 07:19 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
A couple questions:

Why don't you follow the rules?

Why do you think punishment would make you comply? Why is punishment important?

What kind of punishment do you think you should be getting?
I'll agree. All of these are good questions.

It is the Master/Mistress's responsibility to train the slave and administer punishments as needed.

If you're not following the rules simply to be "punished", then it appears that you're looking for "funishment". In that regard, the lack of "punishment" could be how you're being punished. Punishment isn't meant to be enjoyed. it's meant to get the point across that being disobedient or doing whatever it is that upset your Master/Mistress is not what you should do.

Having said that, until these questions are answered, not much can be offered to answer the questions posed in the original post.
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Old 09-12-2017, 08:10 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by MstrTec View Post
I'll agree. All of these are good questions.

It is the Master/Mistress's responsibility to train the slave and administer punishments as needed.

If you're not following the rules simply to be "punished", then it appears that you're looking for "funishment". In that regard, the lack of "punishment" could be how you're being punished. Punishment isn't meant to be enjoyed. it's meant to get the point across that being disobedient or doing whatever it is that upset your Master/Mistress is not what you should do.

Having said that, until these questions are answered, not much can be offered to answer the questions posed in the original post.
Bold, mine.
Totally agree.
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Old 09-13-2017, 03:24 AM   #7
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Punishment is not for everyone. Deal with it.

If your MISTRESS doesn't want to punish you - it's not your place to object and force her to. It's not her style, and there's nothing you can do.

It's important for you to understand that in any BDSM related thing, any feature is optional and up for debate. Any activity can be utilized only if BOTH parties like it and agree to it.

Being a Dom/Domme is HARDER than being a sub/slave. It's a lot of responsibility and a lot of mental pressure and stress. You may think that you are making the life of your Mistress better and easier by submitting - well, breaking news, you aren't. By forcing her to do what she doesn't want and nagging at her, you are only making it harder and worse.

If you love her, just accept that there are things that she doesn't want to do, and let her ONLY do things that she wants. If she doesn't want to be a domme (which very well may be the case) - let her stay vanilla and just forget your needs for being a sub.

Don't get me wrong, it's OK to ask for things. Bringing it up every once in a while is OK, if you frame it like your desires and not as something she should do. Like, every 3-4 months you may say once that you'd love to get punished more. And "no" means "NO".

No one can ask another person to be a sub or a dom if they don't want to. No one can ask another person to be more cruel or to punish, if they don't feel like it.
It's an emotional abuse, man.
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Old 09-13-2017, 02:58 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nezhul View Post
*snip*
Being a Dom/Domme is HARDER than being a sub/slave. It's a lot of responsibility and a lot of mental pressure and stress. You may think that you are making the life of your Mistress better and easier by submitting - well, breaking news, you aren't. By forcing her to do what she doesn't want and nagging at her, you are only making it harder and worse.
*snip*
Oh for fuck's...

Do you proof read this shit before you post it? I'm honestly asking, because everything in there isn't just unhelpful, off the rails, and unnecessarily accusatory, but this bit invalidates a HUGE group of people. It's harder to be dominant huh. Oh you do go on. Please. Enlighten us with real world experience and scenarios to back up such a polarizing statement. Present valid arguements to the contrary when someone says " no it isn't ". Back pedal and say " that's not what I meant " or " you're just trying to start a fight ". Better yet, cop out by half ass conceding that " both are equal and cannot exist without the other ", or ( my favorite ) the tried and true " It's my opinion ". Well, it could be an opinion, except you presented it as fact, thus negating that particular exit strategy while simultaneously jamming your foot in your gob.

So please, elaborate on how much easier submissives have it, how exhausting and thankless it is to be a big scawwy Dom/me. It's just the worst! I recommend you start off forceful and aggressive in your response, then taper off in the middle as you run out of steam because you lack passion and are simply regurgitating things read somewhere else because, if you can dismiss an entire half of ( basically ) every dynamic, you obviously don't know what the fuck you're talking about and shouldn't be handing life lessons down to ANYONE. Then wrap it all up by vilifying someone in an attempt to mask the reality that you've actually contributed diddly dick to the decent discussion that was being had before you decided to drive your ever so insightful short bus of wisdom through it.

Man.
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Old 09-13-2017, 07:28 PM   #9
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Punishment dynamics can be quite complicated. One thing I note from the dom end of things is that some subs feel the need to be punished- not 'funished'- in order to authenticate the overall dynamic. It moves the relationship out of the realm of mere role-play. Others, clearly, find this objectionable. Perhaps if (if this is indeed the case with you) you were to explain to your master that punishment would bring a deeper sense of reality to the dom/sub dynamic for you, she would be more comfortable punishing you.
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Old 12-01-2017, 03:14 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrDelirium View Post
Punishment dynamics can be quite complicated. One thing I note from the dom end of things is that some subs feel the need to be punished- not 'funished'- in order to authenticate the overall dynamic. It moves the relationship out of the realm of mere role-play. Others, clearly, find this objectionable. Perhaps if (if this is indeed the case with you) you were to explain to your master that punishment would bring a deeper sense of reality to the dom/sub dynamic for you, she would be more comfortable punishing you.
Exactly!!!

If I follow the rules for weeks or months I feel neglected when there is no attention. It is very possible for a Dom to write out rules and never talk to a slave again. The sub may simply want recognition and attention.

My Master and I just keep talking and progressing slowly with this. She is getting better at showing the attention and I follow the rules more. I would be fine with her not being a dom but she says she is a dom and her action say she is.

She loves me being naked and loves telling me to edge.
She does not like having to pay attention to see if I am following the rules
She does not like punishing me says she loves me to much for that.

We are working on different types of punishments and ways to why we do or don't like certain actions. This is letting us learn more about why we like stuff.
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Old 12-01-2017, 03:40 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _Necrosomantic_ View Post
Oh for fuck's...

Do you proof read this shit before you post it? I'm honestly asking, because everything in there isn't just unhelpful, off the rails, and unnecessarily accusatory, but this bit invalidates a HUGE group of people. It's harder to be dominant huh. Oh you do go on. Please. Enlighten us with real world experience and scenarios to back up such a polarizing statement. Present valid arguements to the contrary when someone says " no it isn't ". Back pedal and say " that's not what I meant " or " you're just trying to start a fight ". Better yet, cop out by half ass conceding that " both are equal and cannot exist without the other ", or ( my favorite ) the tried and true " It's my opinion ". Well, it could be an opinion, except you presented it as fact, thus negating that particular exit strategy while simultaneously jamming your foot in your gob.

So please, elaborate on how much easier submissives have it, how exhausting and thankless it is to be a big scawwy Dom/me. It's just the worst! I recommend you start off forceful and aggressive in your response, then taper off in the middle as you run out of steam because you lack passion and are simply regurgitating things read somewhere else because, if you can dismiss an entire half of ( basically ) every dynamic, you obviously don't know what the fuck you're talking about and shouldn't be handing life lessons down to ANYONE. Then wrap it all up by vilifying someone in an attempt to mask the reality that you've actually contributed diddly dick to the decent discussion that was being had before you decided to drive your ever so insightful short bus of wisdom through it.

Man.
No one wants to read a treatise on how to be an ass. Either from you or anyone else.
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Old 12-01-2017, 03:42 PM   #12
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Tell her that you'd like to be punished as a reward for doing a good job for her.
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Old 12-06-2017, 07:25 AM   #13
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Just ask, otherwise you come off more like a sub and not a slave. A sub is someone who only does enough to maintain the dynamic... a slave well give completely .
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Old 12-07-2017, 07:48 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by S3xSlav3 View Post
Exactly!!!

If I follow the rules for weeks or months I feel neglected when there is no attention. It is very possible for a Dom to write out rules and never talk to a slave again. The sub may simply want recognition and attention.

My Master and I just keep talking and progressing slowly with this. She is getting better at showing the attention and I follow the rules more. I would be fine with her not being a dom but she says she is a dom and her action say she is.

She loves me being naked and loves telling me to edge.
She does not like having to pay attention to see if I am following the rules
She does not like punishing me says she loves me to much for that.

We are working on different types of punishments and ways to why we do or don't like certain actions. This is letting us learn more about why we like stuff.

Bolded part seems weird to me. No relationship is that static.

I totally realize each relationship, each person is different. That being said, recognition and attention shouldn't come in the form of punishment.

Perhaps we're using the wrong wording.

For me, punishment is a really bad thing. It means I did something wrong. I don't want to do anything wrong. I don't want to act up or act out or do something wrong to get my Dominant's attention.

If I feel I'm not getting attention or recognition, if I need his hands on me, to feel his dominance over me, I'll ask him about it. I do not want to be punished just to get attention.

It's cool you came back to update this thread - it sounds really good that you and your Master are working on your relationship.

Good luck!!
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Old 12-07-2017, 08:24 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malismith View Post
Just ask, otherwise you come off more like a sub and not a slave. A sub is someone who only does enough to maintain the dynamic... a slave well give completely .
Ummm... what does this mean?

Please elaborate.
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Old 12-07-2017, 08:28 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
Bolded part seems weird to me. No relationship is that static.

I totally realize each relationship, each person is different. That being said, recognition and attention shouldn't come in the form of punishment.

Perhaps we're using the wrong wording.

For me, punishment is a really bad thing. It means I did something wrong. I don't want to do anything wrong. I don't want to act up or act out or do something wrong to get my Dominant's attention.

If I feel I'm not getting attention or recognition, if I need his hands on me, to feel his dominance over me, I'll ask him about it. I do not want to be punished just to get attention.

It's cool you came back to update this thread - it sounds really good that you and your Master are working on your relationship.

Good luck!!

This. I am rarely punished. I can count on 1 hand the times I was corrected...really, truly only once. It made me cry. It’s not fun.

If I need more control or pain or structure, I hint. Or ask. We are in love, so it’s not D/s 24/7. Sometimes I need more of that. He’s not a mind reader.
Communication is the key.

And like cookie says, thanks for updating.
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Old 12-07-2017, 08:30 PM   #17
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No one wants to read a treatise on how to be an ass. Either from you or anyone else.
I do!
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Old 12-07-2017, 10:13 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malismith View Post
Just ask, otherwise you come off more like a sub and not a slave. A sub is someone who only does enough to maintain the dynamic... a slave well give completely .
Well, the twue ones, at any rate.
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Old 12-07-2017, 10:55 PM   #19
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Just ask, otherwise you come off more like a sub and not a slave. A sub is someone who only does enough to maintain the dynamic... a slave well give completely .
What?

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