Sir Winston

RIP

Please don't feel obligated, but if anyone wants to contribute to a donation to our local animal shelter in SW's name, an account has been set up. The Randy Sonnenburg Benefit Memorial Fund can be deposited into from any Wells Fargo location. If you need the account number for an online deposit, please PM me. The account will be open until shortly before Christmas.

I just did an advanced search under SirW's name, for threads he started over the years. Half way down the first page, I see this...

The "I Think Quoting Poems in Your Sig Makes You a Douche" thread

I have all sorts of stuff going on right now that is making it hard to laugh, but I saw that and started laughing until I teared up.

And then I found a thread he started way back in 2007, when I lost my mind and had a fling in the Dominican Republic, with some guy I met off CollarMe that I'd known less than a month. Stupidest thing I've ever done (thank goodness I didn't end up sold into white slavery or fed to sharks or something lol).

And because I just miss the man...

What does it mean to be a Dominant?

Sometimes humans worry that when they die no one will remember them or care. Sir Winston clearly touched and positively affected so many. It's heart warming to see this thread and the warmth in it. I didn't know him well at all but this speaks volumes about him. I am being informed by reading along.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I know that he will be dearly missed.

Take good care of yourself. May peace be with you.

CutieMouse said:

I just did an advanced search under SirW's name, for threads he started over the years. Half way down the first page, I see this...

The "I Think Quoting Poems in Your Sig Makes You a Douche" thread

I have all sorts of stuff going on right now that is making it hard to laugh, but I saw that and started laughing until I teared up.

And then I found a thread he started way back in 2007, when I lost my mind and had a fling in the Dominican Republic, with some guy I met off CollarMe that I'd known less than a month. Stupidest thing I've ever done (thank goodness I didn't end up sold into white slavery or fed to sharks or something lol).

And because I just miss the man...

What does it mean to be a Dominant?

Click to expand...

...

I know this was written for John Lennon but it keeps running through my head and reminding me of my friend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AABK5eY1DGc

RIP

YK please take care of yourself

So sad to read this, and at the same time so warmed by our little community here. RIP Sir W. Keeping you and YK in my heart.

My deepest condolences!

I don't visit Lit as often as I used to.

I had no idea Sir W was gone.

I am so sorry to hear this.

YK, you and I have not really spoken, but my heart and thoughts go out to you. Grief isn't easy, nor is there a right way; I hope you have people around you still supporting you for the months and years to come xx

I also do not visit Lit as often as I used and I am deeply saddened to stop in and see the community has lost Sir Winston.

I will never forget how nervous I was as I worked up the courage to message him a question, only to be put at ease with his kind and insightful response.

I am so sorry YK. So very very sorry.

I read this today and it made me want to post it here.

~When Great Trees Fall~

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.

Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance,
fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

~Maya Angelou

Thank you everyone for your continued support. I've been mostly offline for a few days while I got SW's computer set up for my own use. I've also been handling his final affairs and had family here for Thanksgiving. I'll be in and out for a while as I adjust to life without him.

Thanks again, guys.

YK

Yasashii_Kaze said:

Thank you everyone for your continued support. I've been mostly offline for a few days while I got SW's computer set up for my own use. I've also been handling his final affairs and had family here for Thanksgiving. I'll be in and out for a while as I adjust to life without him.

Thanks again, guys.

YK

Click to expand...

Holidays can be so hard! Do please set some time aside for yourself just relax, or maybe a little indulgence. Sending you lots of hugs!

desertslave said:

Holidays can be so hard! Do please set some time aside for yourself just relax, or maybe a little indulgence. Sending you lots of hugs!

Click to expand...

I will, thanks. I'm still so numb and in denial that I keep being surprised by the thought that he isn't coming home. I figured I would have had enough time to adjust that the shock wouldn't be so bad, but I'm really having a hard time feeling much of anything at all.

I hope you're getting all the love and support you need to help you through this time - thinking of you

Yasashii_Kaze said:

I will, thanks. I'm still so numb and in denial that I keep being surprised by the thought that he isn't coming home. I figured I would have had enough time to adjust that the shock wouldn't be so bad, but I'm really having a hard time feeling much of anything at all.

Click to expand...

HUG

Every loss is different. Give yourself plenty of space and time. Consider the possibility that your body is resting up for an onslaught of feelings that are on their way.

Extra EXTRA big loves to you, YK. Please know there really is no wrong way. Just be as kind to you as you can and be whatever comes and trust that it's just right for you.

Sorry this is so long. I typed it up for Facebook. Normally I'd go through and change his name but I've already linked stuff that had his real name so I'm going to leave it. Here's what I wrote.



I shared this with a couple of people when it happened but I wasn’t ready to type it all out yet. I’m ready now.

Randy’s mind was pretty far gone at the end. Yes, this was difficult and painful, but the getting there was more difficult than the being there. Being with him as he knew he was dying and every time he’d wake up with some new symptom was excruciating. In a way, we both found some measure of peace once the tumor took over and freed him from the emotional agony he was going through.

At this point he was on a lot of pain meds but they didn’t want to dope him up unnecessarily, so they would give him the really strong stuff at bedtime. This knocked him out around 7 or 8, but often he would wake back up at 10 or 11 and be talkative. He didn’t make much sense but he would know who I was and that I was in the room with him, so I’d grab my laptop and sit on the floor mattress by his bed (they had him in a lowered bed because he was a fall risk when he could still move around) and we would just talk about nothing until midnight or later. I really treasured these late-night visits. We had minimal interruptions, he was chatty and sometimes silly, and I’d get online and read him supportive messages people had posted for him.

Our last late-night visit was Saturday, November 8th. He was talking like he always did and I was chatting with a friend online and talking to him at the same time when out of the blue he stated, “Tomorrow is all we have left."

I stopped typing and turned to look at him. “Why do we only have tomorrow?"

“Tomorrow night."

“We only have until tomorrow night?"

“Yes."

"Are you leaving me tomorrow night, Randy?"

He seemed mildly confused by the question and paused for a moment before replying. “Yes?”

“When?"

“At dinnertime."

I had discovered that when he took a while to answer and his speech was slow and deliberate, it was some glimmer of his real self fighting through. I usually left to go back home Sunday afternoons around dinnertime, but Randy no longer had an understanding of time. He had stopped eating several weeks prior so he didn’t even have that as a reference. It was highly unusual for him to refer to a specific time anymore. I wanted to stay an extra night but I didn’t have many days left I could take off from work so I stayed as late as I could on Sunday until an incoming snowstorm forced me to head home around 6 p.m.

Several weeks before I had started telling him goodnight or that I’d see him later when I left to go back home. He had once become emotional and agitated when I said I was leaving and I didn’t want to cause him distress. He seemed to feel that goodnight meant I was going to be gone for a little while but that I would always come back to him. When I left this time, however, he was already sleeping and because of what he’d told me the night before, I did what I never did anymore. I said goodbye. Three days later he fell asleep and never woke up.

I believe that Randy knew Sunday was the last time we would speak with each other but in his confusion he said he was leaving Sunday around dinnertime rather than I was, as I did every weekend. I believe that he tried to prepare me for what was to come. I just wanted to share this.

Thank you, as always, YK, for your incredible generosity. You are a treasure.

....

Such intimate moments, cherished moments. Thank you so much for sharing.

Sending much love and many prayers out for you today.