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What makes sissies tick?

What makes them tick? Well, mostly the fact that sometimes men want to feel pretty and desired, too.
 
SweetAnnie40 said:
He does want me to be in charge now in the bedroom. It isn't a terrible thing but why does he want to be submissive?

Again, I get that everyone is different and one person's reasons may have nothing to do with another person's reasons. I'm just collecting examples to try and understand.
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Well, as long as you're collecting examples . . .

I've been interested in gender roles since I was a teenager--both intellectually and as a part of my own emotional and sexual development. It has always been a fun part of my fantasy life to imagine myself in different gender roles, and I have sometimes thought that if I were more androgynous-looking, I'd have fun playing them in real life. Alas, I am a prohibitively tall and hairy guy, and never considered it a serious possibility.

That said, I do think I understand the desire of some men to play the role of women. I have role-played as women, and frankly, it is liberating, if delusional--when you don't have to actually deal with the problems and dangers of being a woman, but are merely confronted with an onslaught of sexual desire that you can safely tease, it is highly entertaining. It's an experience few men who are not celebrities rarely experience.

Now, this may or may not have something to do with your husband's experience--maybe he genuinely likes wearing women's undergarments for its own (fetishistic) sake; doesn't like men but likes anal penetration; is struggling with a testosterone decrease and truly doesn't know what is happening to him; is suddenly discovering he's gay . . . or something entirely different. But it's great that you care and are asking about it. Keep talking, and good luck!
 
OpenMouth said:
It's difficult to explain; I'm not gay, not attracted to men at all. I couldn't kiss one or get hard and fuck a man's bottom.

But I do enjoy being a submissive sissy slut, I go weak at the sight of a huge, erect, spunking cock, and love wearing lingerie, heels and make-up.

It's the whole female glamour thing that does it for me, dressing like a girl and doing what a girl does.
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That's sounds just like me, although I could fuck, but love being a slut on cam for guys even better when they are telling me what to do.
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama said:
Well, as long as you're collecting examples . . .

I've been interested in gender roles since I was a teenager--both intellectually and as a part of my own emotional and sexual development. It has always been a fun part of my fantasy life to imagine myself in different gender roles, and I have sometimes thought that if I were more androgynous-looking, I'd have fun playing them in real life. Alas, I am a prohibitively tall and hairy guy, and never considered it a serious possibility.

That said, I do think I understand the desire of some men to play the role of women. I have role-played as women, and frankly, it is liberating, if delusional--when you don't have to actually deal with the problems and dangers of being a woman, but are merely confronted with an onslaught of sexual desire that you can safely tease, it is highly entertaining. It's an experience few men who are not celebrities rarely experience.

Now, this may or may not have something to do with your husband's experience--maybe he genuinely likes wearing women's undergarments for its own (fetishistic) sake; doesn't like men but likes anal penetration; is struggling with a testosterone decrease and truly doesn't know what is happening to him; is suddenly discovering he's gay . . . or something entirely different. But it's great that you care and are asking about it. Keep talking, and good luck!
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Thank you, Joe Bob, for the considered response. I don't know what is driving him because he has struggled to describe it or understand it. I know that it is very deep-rooted (from the very start of puberty) and that his sister was somehow involved in encouraging him to sexualize lingerie, etc. (Man, I'd love to have a woman to woman talk with her someday!) Apparently she's even sent him a gift panty on occasion that I was unaware of.

He's definitely into the anal penetration. (He's been begging me this week to do it again). Lingerie and anything feminine is highly erotic for him. He swears he isn't into guys but just wants to act like a girl for sex.

Well, it's a journey...
 
Star of Penumbra said:
What makes them tick? Well, mostly the fact that sometimes men want to feel pretty and desired, too.
Click to expand...

Thanks, Star. He's mentioned that the whole thing started because he felt undesired in early puberty and putting on his sister's panties made him feel sexy and desirable.
 
OpenMouth said:
It's difficult to explain; I'm not gay, not attracted to men at all. I couldn't kiss one or get hard and fuck a man's bottom.

But I do enjoy being a submissive sissy slut, I go weak at the sight of a huge, erect, spunking cock, and love wearing lingerie, heels and make-up.

It's the whole female glamour thing that does it for me, dressing like a girl and doing what a girl does.
Click to expand...

Sounds very similar to my hubby, at least as far as I understand it now...
 
OpenMouth said:
It's difficult to explain; I'm not gay, not attracted to men at all. I couldn't kiss one or get hard and fuck a man's bottom.

But I do enjoy being a submissive sissy slut, I go weak at the sight of a huge, erect, spunking cock, and love wearing lingerie, heels and make-up.

It's the whole female glamour thing that does it for me, dressing like a girl and doing what a girl does.
Click to expand...



Nailed it.

You also forgot; a love of anal play and complete escapism.
 
Btw, wearing panties and doing anal play doesn’t mean he is or could be gay or even bi
 
Salbertson said:
Btw, wearing panties and doing anal play doesn’t mean he is or could be gay or even bi
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I understand that it isn't a determinant but it certainly begs the question. Not to care about a term too much but he's at most Bi since he has no problem being my man when I tell that's what i need.
 
I don't think you should worry too much if he's still able to be a man for you when you need it.

Most likely, he grew up with strict gender role-based parenting. He feels guilty if he is too dominant with you. He may have a job where he is in a position of power and it's a lot of pressure. Also, in childhood, he may not have felt as masculine as some of the other boys.

When he gets "dolled up," he can escape, let go, and he trusts you to do it with.

If he were honest, he probalby wants the whole thing....wig, makeup, clothes, and a venue. He'd probably love to go to a Halloween party with you where you played a man's role and he dressed as a woman. He'd want the full experience, you opening doors for him, But after the party, he'd probably want sex to top off the night. You'd have to be the dominant one....taking charge, leading him to bed, which may include bending him over and using a strap-on with him,


My guess is that it's an escape. Hopefully, it won't affect his time with you as he's giving you what you need.
 
NickCarraway12 said:
I don't think you should worry too much if he's still able to be a man for you when you need it.

Most likely, he grew up with strict gender role-based parenting. He feels guilty if he is too dominant with you. He may have a job where he is in a position of power and it's a lot of pressure. Also, in childhood, he may not have felt as masculine as some of the other boys.

When he gets "dolled up," he can escape, let go, and he trusts you to do it with.

If he were honest, he probalby wants the whole thing....wig, makeup, clothes, and a venue. He'd probably love to go to a Halloween party with you where you played a man's role and he dressed as a woman. He'd want the full experience, you opening doors for him, But after the party, he'd probably want sex to top off the night. You'd have to be the dominant one....taking charge, leading him to bed, which may include bending him over and using a strap-on with him,


My guess is that it's an escape. Hopefully, it won't affect his time with you as he's giving you what you need.
Click to expand...

Thanks, Nick. Not too far off, I suspect. I mean he has work pressures but he isn't in a particular position of power and control. That said, it must be some sort of deep escape for him.

Now he did mention last night that it would be sexy if we both went to a Halloween party in Playboy bunny outfits.
 
NickCarraway12 said:
I don't think you should worry too much if he's still able to be a man for you when you need it.

...

My guess is that it's an escape. Hopefully, it won't affect his time with you as he's giving you what you need.
Click to expand...

Well, I spoke too soon. Been awhile since he was "man" for me and actually declined the last time I asked for it. more than any panties or sissy play, this has me... worried? Concerned?
 
SweetAnnie40 said:
Well, I spoke too soon. Been awhile since he was "man" for me and actually declined the last time I asked for it. more than any panties or sissy play, this has me... worried? Concerned?
Click to expand...

I would approach it like any other “dry spell” in a relationship since it may or may not be connected to his recent interests...I’m just saying I’m not sure I would immediately connect the two things
 
Salbertson said:
I would approach it like any other “dry spell” in a relationship since it may or may not be connected to his recent interests...I’m just saying I’m not sure I would immediately connect the two things
Click to expand...

We've certainly been through a lot and he's been very supportive with my most recent revelation so I'll definitely wait and see. Can't help a little voice in my mind wondering if he'll ever want me that way again.
 
SweetAnnie40 said:
We've certainly been through a lot and he's been very supportive with my most recent revelation so I'll definitely wait and see. Can't help a little voice in my mind wondering if he'll ever want me that way again.
Click to expand...

Maybe not in “that way again” but in another new way that you will both have to learn together
 
Sissy?

SweetAnnie, Stickygirl and Stacy TG said it much
better than I ever could. But I would add from the
point of view of a crossdresser in about the same
situation as your husband, he trusts you and wants
your support,encouragement and I think participation.
I don't want to lose what my wife and I already have
(I can't risk telling her), but I would like to
explore this new feminine side of me with her as
a fully supportive and encouraging participant. I
(and I think he) Would like to be both husband and
gurl friend to her (you). It is kind of ironic that
my femininity seemed to erupt after I read the entire
thread that stickygirl mentioned "Why do older men
become bi-curious?". The posts were so similar to
my situation that I felt compelled to post. I really
think he wants you on this journey with him so hop
on board and enjoy the ride.
Shirley
 
SweetAnnie40 said:
Well, I spoke too soon. Been awhile since he was "man" for me and actually declined the last time I asked for it. more than any panties or sissy play, this has me... worried? Concerned?
Click to expand...

Just a thought or two, taken with a grain of salt I hope; Maybe you already have done this, but try to step back from each "issue" and see if there's bigger picture. And by that I mean; Taken as a whole, what you describe is a shift in your husband's personality and his need to expose that to you. All of his 'gender bending' thoughts and desires may have been with him since puberty, but they have clearly taken a new turn.

If you haven't already done so, I would encourage you to read about the more scientific understanding of this issue. It may mean that he just wants you to be in more control...he is tired of pretending and has reached the point where he is willing to risk shame to find relief. If this turns out to part of all of this, then it will be your turn to decide if there is any repressed dominance you might enjoy letting out. (like being the boss and telling him it's time for him to play "man" tonight ;) )

It may well be a new dynamic you two find. (A total shot in the dark, since there's so many unknowns at this point...but, I wish the best for you both !!!)
 
I never was too concerned with what made me “tick” as I was about what made me “purr”. 🌹
 
Going back to the original point, I can relate to what Joe_Bob, Tracey and others have said. I can also look back at times when I was in hetero relationships and we would both go to fancy dress parties as girls together. Being on my own now, there is more freedom.

I put it down to us all having an X chromosome so there is a feminine side to us all. Some of us get more curious to explore that at some time in our lives. As Joe_Bob said, doing something about it is liberating, satisfies that curiosity and maybe makes us wish for more.

In my case, it has led to going out to trans events dressed and of course, wanting to look the best we can, making a big effort over dressing, make up, waxing etc. Incidentally, if you can find any events near you, there are quite a few couples who attend. It seems that there is another set of interests that they share.

Society channels us into a more assertive role. It is just nice to be able to be the other side of your persona and imagine what might have been. By the way, some of the "admirers" attending these events have been TV and found it is not for them but seem to get something out of the company of boys who want to be girls.
 
SweetAnnie40 said:
We've certainly been through a lot and he's been very supportive with my most recent revelation so I'll definitely wait and see. Can't help a little voice in my mind wondering if he'll ever want me that way again.
Click to expand...

Are you referring to your bi curiousity mentioned in your signature? If so, interesting new chapters are opening up in your lives. Some trepidation is natural as things unfold, but it does sound like there is a lot of trust, safety and acceptance in your relationship.
 
A much different perspective...

I have no clue what makes some males want to be "sissies". I came somewhat from an opposite perspective. I always wore my hair to cover my ears because one of them was deformed (birth defect). I got called a sissy so much for that. (One friend told me that others would like me better if I just cut my hair short. I confided in him about my defective ear. He said true friends would never hold my ear against me. So I responded, then why would they hold the length of my hair against me? Never again did he bring up the length of my hair to me. :) )

Note that for most of my growing up years I was around women as my grandpa (of the home) died when I was 7.5 years old, and my dad only had custody of me for 3.5 years from 11 to 14. I had no problem playing with dolls when I was young but I also had no problem wanting to play sports either. I wasn't much into contact sports like tackling (football) because I had to be careful because of my ear and the surgeries I had related. I only briefly wanted to be a girl. Not out of sexual desire, but because I was ashamed of being a boy. It was my gender that ripped me away from the only home I had ever known (having been raised primarily by my grandmother) and forced me to live with my dad. Probably most don't understand that, but just think back to your home life. If it was good, and the only one you ever knew. Having a stranger (judge) tell you you had to live with another stranger (I barely knew my dad) just because you both are males and "supposedly" a boy needs to be around a "man", was enough to make me so ashamed. My 3.5 years with my Dad were hell. No reason to go into details, but it was just never really my "home", and my father was a big time jerk.

Sexually, I had desires for men (NOT boys) from an early age. Body hair, muscles, nice faces, and nice behinds stood out in my mind. Note, I was NEVER molested by anyone. Those were just my inclinations. I was somewhat attracted to girls too, but in my mind I tended to see girls in the image of the Virgin Mary -- wonderful, motherly beings, but forced into doing nasty sex because of the forced urges of men who I thought were so "nasty" by nature. So what girls I was attracted to I pretty much suppressed as I did not want to come across as "nasty" towards such a kind, innocent gender as I viewed females.

I desired a man to be manly, but without the attitude and jerk-ishness that I had seen in so many guys -- especially like my dad. I didn't want to act like girl toward such a man either. However, that being said I really didn't really know how babies came into the world, so in my mind I wanted to breed a man that I would be physically attracted to. So I guess from that standpoint, there was a bit of gender bending in that I wanted this handsome guy I would find attractive to deliver me a kid. Also note, that I rarely saw people in the nude (male or female), until later years when gym was required. I was definitely not interested in the penises of my peers. So in some ways my m2m attraction was more emotional than sexual. The fact that most males in my life had left me (death, etc) or were jerks like my dad, was the impetus for that desire. I simply wanted a family with kids, but with another man who could make babies. (Also note, I knew nothing about breast feeding as I really was in the dark.) I know it sounds so peculiar, but I would simply emphasize that men were such an elusive thing in my real life that they became a big focus in my dreams.

Though I don't care for labels, I suppose with my limited sexual experiences with women I should be classified as gay (a tiny bit bi perhaps), but I do not fit any "gay" mold. I still don't crave penises, I just realize that penises cum with the territory of m2m sex. I am not the least bit attracted to guys that are feminine, but I can befriend them. They simply don't do anything at all for me. Still, likewise if a manly guy is a top and thinks I'm interested in his penis, he's going to be absolutely disappointing. I still find it so bizarre that some bi (or some claiming to still be straight) can crave penises, but have no desire for the man behind the penis. That would be as silly for me to say I could crave women's vagina, but not the woman it belongs to. Body parts don't exist in a vacuum; They ARE attached to a living, breathing, thinking, feeling human being.

I guess in conclusion I would say that men can have all sorts of desires and kinks, as we are not made from the same mold. The important thing is for a man to always be honest with loved ones, yet in a way that you don't hurt them.
 
none2_none2 said:
I have no clue what makes some males want to be "sissies". I came somewhat from an opposite perspective. I always wore my hair to cover my ears because one of them was deformed (birth defect). I got called a sissy so much for that. (One friend told me that others would like me better if I just cut my hair short. I confided in him about my defective ear. He said true friends would never hold my ear against me. So I responded, then why would they hold the length of my hair against me? Never again did he bring up the length of my hair to me. :) )

Note that for most of my growing up years I was around women as my grandpa (of the home) died when I was 7.5 years old, and my dad only had custody of me for 3.5 years from 11 to 14. I had no problem playing with dolls when I was young but I also had no problem wanting to play sports either. I wasn't much into contact sports like tackling (football) because I had to be careful because of my ear and the surgeries I had related. I only briefly wanted to be a girl. Not out of sexual desire, but because I was ashamed of being a boy. It was my gender that ripped me away from the only home I had ever known (having been raised primarily by my grandmother) and forced me to live with my dad. Probably most don't understand that, but just think back to your home life. If it was good, and the only one you ever knew. Having a stranger (judge) tell you you had to live with another stranger (I barely knew my dad) just because you both are males and "supposedly" a boy needs to be around a "man", was enough to make me so ashamed. My 3.5 years with my Dad were hell. No reason to go into details, but it was just never really my "home", and my father was a big time jerk.

Sexually, I had desires for men (NOT boys) from an early age. Body hair, muscles, nice faces, and nice behinds stood out in my mind. Note, I was NEVER molested by anyone. Those were just my inclinations. I was somewhat attracted to girls too, but in my mind I tended to see girls in the image of the Virgin Mary -- wonderful, motherly beings, but forced into doing nasty sex because of the forced urges of men who I thought were so "nasty" by nature. So what girls I was attracted to I pretty much suppressed as I did not want to come across as "nasty" towards such a kind, innocent gender as I viewed females.

I desired a man to be manly, but without the attitude and jerk-ishness that I had seen in so many guys -- especially like my dad. I didn't want to act like girl toward such a man either. However, that being said I really didn't really know how babies came into the world, so in my mind I wanted to breed a man that I would be physically attracted to. So I guess from that standpoint, there was a bit of gender bending in that I wanted this handsome guy I would find attractive to deliver me a kid. Also note, that I rarely saw people in the nude (male or female), until later years when gym was required. I was definitely not interested in the penises of my peers. So in some ways my m2m attraction was more emotional than sexual. The fact that most males in my life had left me (death, etc) or were jerks like my dad, was the impetus for that desire. I simply wanted a family with kids, but with another man who could make babies. (Also note, I knew nothing about breast feeding as I really was in the dark.) I know it sounds so peculiar, but I would simply emphasize that men were such an elusive thing in my real life that they became a big focus in my dreams.

Though I don't care for labels, I suppose with my limited sexual experiences with women I should be classified as gay (a tiny bit bi perhaps), but I do not fit any "gay" mold. I still don't crave penises, I just realize that penises cum with the territory of m2m sex. I am not the least bit attracted to guys that are feminine, but I can befriend them. They simply don't do anything at all for me. Still, likewise if a manly guy is a top and thinks I'm interested in his penis, he's going to be absolutely disappointing. I still find it so bizarre that some bi (or some claiming to still be straight) can crave penises, but have no desire for the man behind the penis. That would be as silly for me to say I could crave women's vagina, but not the woman it belongs to. Body parts don't exist in a vacuum; They ARE attached to a living, breathing, thinking, feeling human being.

I guess in conclusion I would say that men can have all sorts of desires and kinks, as we are not made from the same mold. The important thing is for a man to always be honest with loved ones, yet in a way that you don't hurt them.
Click to expand...

Wow....amazing
 
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