A Family Reunited (closed)

Closed for Ohia Lehua

Jack looked at the photo: a woman holding a young girl and boy. The woman was unquestionably attractive - blonde, busty, leggy. The kids, though young, were undoubtedly hers. The boy's hair was a darker blond, like a sandy beach, but his cheekbones and nose were clearly similar. The daughter was even closer, save that her blonde hair was almost platinum. All three shared the same brilliant green eyes. All three had the same cheerful smiles.

But the photo was old. Well over a dozen years had passed since those clothes and hairstyles had been fashionable. Jack sighed. A dozen years and this was still among the most recent photographs of him with his mother.

The frame was dusty. It had been sitting on a shelf in a closet for the better part of a decade. He hadn't thought about it in years. He hadn't thought about her in years. He hadn't wanted to.

At 18, he could vaguely understand his mother's decision to leave when he was just a boy. His father certainly seemed to have accepted it. "I loved your mother very much, Jacques." (His father was one of the few Jack tolerated using his true first name.) "I loved her passion. To leash that passion would be like caging a tiger. I had to let it be free or I would destroy it."

Jack had taken years to reach a tenuous acceptance of that reasoning. He still remembered the pain of watching his mother and sister leave. All so his mother could follow her passions.
He'd found the best way to cope was not to think about it. Mom made that easy enough after the first couple years. He and Dad would receive post cards a few times a year, but nothing more. Jack had stopped reading them altogether. It was easier to think he was the only child of a single father than to think about having not seen his mother and sister in years.

Consequently, he was thunderstruck when his father announced that the lost half of his family would be returning next week. After all this time, they were finally coming home.

He'd dug the photo out of a closet because he honestly couldn't remember what his mother had looked like. That felt shameful to admit. But then whose fault was that? Who chose to break up his family?

And then there was his twin sister, Anouk. Technically she was the elder, by all of about two minutes. She'd refused to abandon their mother when the plan to move overseas was announced. So his sister, too, had abandoned Jack and his father.

He wondered what they looked like. His father had grown a short beard, but otherwise looked much the same. Perhaps his mother would resembles her 20-something self, too.

When his mother left Jack hadn't yet come up to her shoulder. Now he was 6'2", his chest and arms carved with lean muscle from all those hours of swim practice. Would she even recognize him?

And what about Anouk? They'd been close as children, but they hadn't communicated in ages. What did she look like? What sort of woman had the little girl become? Would he even recognize her?

Just a few days till he answered by those questions. Jack wasn't sure if the uneasiness in his stomach for the impending arrival reflected excitement or dread.

It was somewhat strange when Anouk thought about how long it had been since she had last been home, the last time she had see her father she had been a young child still holding her brother's hand. But she hadn't cried, she hadn't seen this as her leaving but as a start to an adventure, plus she would be home this time next year so it wouldn't been too bad.

How wrong they had all been.

What had started in South Africa and lasted two years moved to Mongolia and there they lived for another two years. Her mother practiced medicine and medical science and was highly respected in her field which was lead mother and daughter on the next step of their journey, India. Like the places before them the pair lived there a little less then two years before returning to Africa this time on it's western coast. Anouk had a feeling that this would be the last part of their journey and honestly she wasn't sad at it's end if what she felt and thought was true.

Anouk never thought of leaving as a goodbye it was just an evolution to the current relationship that was bound to change with time anyways and as long as there was an effort at least on her part she never felt like she left anyone behind. It was a happy way to deal with missing the people that she loved and made her feel less lonely. It was the reason she applied the same theory to her family back in the US. She and her brother had been close and there wasn't a day that went by that something didn't happen that she wished that she could share with him. It's that feeling that she left her brother out of something that she starting keeping a daily journal for both her brother and father with pictures and stories of her adventures, trials and difficulties so that they could read them and be a part of her missing years even if they weren't at her side.

Sure writing back home was an option but in so many ways it also wasn't. Post was hard to come by and when you sent something out it would take months to get where it was going and it was the same for incoming mail. In the run down third world counties that they lived in the internet was near nonexistent and a reliable phone line was just as hard to come by. It made contacting home difficult and after the fifth or sixth time that she didn't get a response she stopped writing feeling the pain of having nothing written back like a cut straight to the heart.

At first she blamed herself. It was her fault that the mail wasn't getting through even though there was nothing she could do about it. Then she started to worry that it was her brother, that he was mad at her and that was why he wasn't sending her anything in return. It gnawed her mind, gave her heart pains and flooded her dreams with nightmares. It was the only outwardly sign that she allowed herself to show, not that she had much control over that either as she was sleeping when she cried.

Anouk caressed the worn picture of her brother and her together and smiled her heart tightening at the time that it showed of them apart. This was the last picture that had been taken of them together and she could only look at the picture and see all the differences between herself then and now. At 5'2" it wasn't like she had grown much but what she lacked in growth there her body made up in other areas. The main difference being her chest. The flat chested child in the photo was gone and in her place stood the busty 28GG woman with a tiny dancer's waist and small flared hips. She had also changed in ways that was a direct reflection of the cultures she had grown up in. The first was the dreads in her hair that she got from her first friend in Africa, followed by the belly button ring in her naval she got in Mongolia, third was the henna styled tattoo on the inside of her foot from toe to heel in India and when she returned to Africa she not only got her dreads redone in fine dread twists but also add pale pink tints to it as well as adding another piercing that she was keeping quite about. As much as she mother wanted her to be independent and her own person she didn't think the cool mom she knew would be overly happy with her last little personal accessory.

"Are you nearly done packing?" Her mother asked walking into the door-less room that the mother and daughter shared in the shack located in the middle of the village.

The petite young woman turned around and nodded. "Finished about ten minutes ago." Anouk smiled patting the two luggage bags that held her entire life's contents.

"Ready to say your goodbyes the bus will be here soon."

Anouk nodded rechecked her stateside address and nodded. Gifts had been exchanged yesterday and all that was left was to hand out her address to those she cared about. "Yeah." She was distracted and her voice sounded far off even to her own ears.

"Are you okay?" Concern made her mother sit on the corner of the bed.

"I just..." Anouk sighed and looked around the small shack that had been her home for the last 18 months. "It feels weird. Going back home." She admitted her voice trembling.

"I know, I know it does." Mirabel sighed standing up to wrap her daughter in a warm hug. "But it's about time, don't you think?" She pulled back from the hug to look down at her daughter.

"I guess." Anouk mumbled. There had been a lot that had happened in the short span of her life but she had never felt so scared before. This was more then just having to meet new people and adjust to new cultural norms, this was about being accepted. It never bothered her before because if they didn't accept her it was fine. In time she would either find someone who would like her for who she was or they would just leave and she could try again somewhere else. This, this she couldn't run away from and she didn't know how she would deal if her brother wasn't as excited to see her as she was to see him.

"Bus is here." Anouk tried to make her voice sound normal, happy as far from what she was really thinking as she could get it. "Don't want to keep it waiting." And as much as her mother's hug calmed her she broke away from the touch and picked up her bags leaving the shack.

The plane ride was long and pulled tight the already scattered balled up mess that were her emotions into frayed cables that turned her stomach whenever she paid them too much attention. Her nerves were getting the better of her and when she wasn't sleeping or watching the in-flight movie Anouk was talking nonstop. Everything she felt, was worried about feared, was excited about or questions poured from her lips with no censorship and for the most past her mother just listened talking only to calm whatever emotional rant threatened to overwhelm her daughter.

"You've been quite."

It was as if some magical mute button had been switched the moment the pilot had announced that they would soon be landing at their final destination. Anouk opened her mouth but nothing no sound came out and she just nodded her head. This was it, this was the moment that her family life would finally be put back together. In her mind she saw her family life like a large jigsaw puzzle that was slowly put together with every major step in her life and now this was the last piece. Of course normal people liked to put puzzled together using the aid of the fragmented pictured to help guide them but Anouk preferred to flip the pieces over so that when she finally put the pieces together the picture could surprise her. Her hand involuntarily twitched as if she held that imaginary puzzle piece in her hand. What if she place the last piece in and when she flipped over the puzzle she didn't like what she saw. Or worse they didn't like what they saw.

"It'll be fine." Mirabel smiled reaching over to grasp her daughter's hand.

~~~

"Oh, it's so good to see you again, Jacques!"

Anouk hung back and watched the reaction of her missing family members as her mom captured her brother in what she knew to be a crushing hug. Her mother wasn't all that tall but still managed to be 4-5 inches taller then Anouk so when she was given hugs like the one her bother was receiving they sometimes cut off her air supply. Somehow she didn't think her 'little' brother would have the same problem.

"Anouk!" The friendly voice that called out to her sounded foreign to her but the smiling face, a bit older and bearded, belonged to her father. It was a sound she had forgotten and when she heard his voice it awoken memories that quickly broke down the wall she had built to protect herself down.

"Papa!" All reservations were gone and Anouk ran to close the space that separated her and her dad. He caught her when she leaped into his arms and hugged him, unshed tears making her eyes glossy. How had she ignored how much she missed these two very important people? The shame and guilt that she had pushed that aside was the breaking point of her tears and they streamed silently down her face. "I've missed you." She confessed hugging her dad even harder.

When the hugs from the parents were over Anouk stood in front of her brother and looked up and up. She was used to everyone being taller then her but for some reason she hadn't pictured her brother as much more then the photo she had. It was silly that she thought he wouldn't have changed and seeing him before her made her realize that he had changed just as much as she had. "You're tall." It was all that she could come up with and the silence between then was awkward so she turned and retrieve her bags from the luggage cart.

~~~

The car ride was dominated by their parents talking and catching up while Anouk stared out the window watching the city grow around her. She hadn't remembered her hometown being so big, maybe it was time that and the new flood of people that seemed to be everywhere she looked or maybe and more likely her time in poor villages and shanty towns that warped the way she was seeing the place she was born and raised.

"Wow." Anouk whistled under breath when they pulled up to the house, her home. It was just as she remembered it but also vastly different. The house seemed like a castle to her and the fact that it not only had all four walls, a roof with real floors made her feel wealthy beyond means. The lawn was a rich green color and cut evenly with trimmed sides and not a weed in sight. That it wasn't a patchy weedy thing made mostly of dirt and mud clued Anouk into the luxuries that awaited her once she walk into the house.

Anouk was glad that her mother had once again pirated the conversations and wailed poor Jackie with questions upon questions. It gave Anouk the opportunity to look around the house and mentally ohh and ahh at all the gadgets. It was kind of a cultural shock for Anouk as she touched the riches she had only seen from afar. It wasn't as if this was the very first time she had seen a flat screen tv, they had them in the large airports that they flew into before trekking out to the nomads where whole villages were lucky if they had electricity.

Dinner was another shock for her. The vast amount of food seemed almost like a wasted to her but she remembered the feasts that the villages would have at their arrival and chalked it up to that. It wasn't to say that the food wasn't good, because it was, in fact it was one of the best meals she had possibly ever eaten and Anouk ate more then she should have.

For most of the dinner it was a continuation of her mother questioning Jack but near the ending of the meal her dad started to ask questions to which Anouk more then happily allowed her mom to answer unless the question was directed at her. In comparison she had been asked 1/8 of the amount of questions her bother had to answer and it made her feel for her brother.

Anouk tried to help put away and clean up after dinner but was more in the way then anything else and quickly stepped out of the kitchen to linger in the living room before her father declared that him and her mother had things to "discuss". Anouk looked over at her brother with raised eyebrows wondering if her dad was as transparent to her as he was to him.

"We put a lot of your stuff in storage after Mother told us you two wouldn't be coming back that first year. It's been so long that Father thought you'd probably outgrown it, so he figures we'll get you set up with new stuff once you came back."

Anouk nodded as she looked around the large empty room. The walls were white and the room was a corner room and the windows let in ample amount of light. "It's very nice." It didn't bother her that there was a cot for a bed, she had slept on worse and would more then likely set up a bed on the ground if the cot wasn't to her liking.

The tour of the house was a short one, Jack merely pointed to rooms as they passed them leaving doors closed if they were closed and walking by the ones that weren't. She took every opportunity to stop and look at the pictures that hung on the walls and were staged on shelves around the rooms they did walk into. It seemed like he had just as filled as a life as she did and there was a swelling in her heart that felt similar to pride as she counted all his academic and athletic highlights. When they returned to the bedroom side of the house the twins entered a different room, one that brought back memories though it was much different then she had left it.

"This was the room we shared, remember? Your bed used to be over there and mine was here. We kept it like that the first year, but when you two extended your trip, Father decided that a boy my age shouldn't have a second bed covered with stuffed animals and dolls in his room, so we moved it out. Your toys are probably still boxed up in the attic if you want to dig them out. "

Anouk smiled remembering how she used to bury under all her stuffed animals and pretend to hide. "I might ask for your help later on to get some of those boxes down if you don't mind." She walked around the room and peeked and picked in closets and piles of books as her brother talked. "It does feel like ages ago doesn't it." She sighed turning and flopping down on the bed next to him. "Clowns still scare me."

The question took her off guard and she looked away unsure as to how to answer the question. Anouk reached out and grabbed Jack's pillow and hugged it to her body and rested her chin on it's tops. "I don't know." She shrugged. "At first it was because mom was so busy. Then..." There was a thread that was loose on the side sticking of the pillowcase and Anouk picked at it. "Then when we thought we were going home we ended up moving to Mongolia and we lived with a nomad family and traveled a lot to the out bound communities. We lived in the middle of nowhere and again found ourselves too busy to make it into town." It felt like an excuse but it was the truth. "We talked about just sending me back for a visit or even to move back but I was a little young to a international flight by myself." Anouk stopped picking at the pillowcase and looked up at her brother. "You know you could have come for a visit. Last I checked planes flew both ways." She teased feeling just a little defensive. "I think you would have like India..." She sighed standing up. "I have something for you, wait here."

Anouk left the room and returned with a fabric wrapped gift. It was one of the journals she had kept for her brother. "I brought you other gifts too but this is something I kept for you." What had started as a good idea became a habit and her security blanket for her but actually giving him the first journal was kind of nerve wracking and she shifted her weight from foot to foot. "I wanted you to be with me but since you couldn't..." Anouk shrugged and handed him the book. "Well I'm going to set up in my room and maybe dig around the attic for some of my old friends." She didn't want to be around when he opened the journal, nor did she want him to know that if he wanted them there was ten more filled with her life. It was kind of sad but the journals she kept for her dad number only two book while her twin's totaled eleven. There was just a lot more that she wanted to share with him and showed just how much she missed him.

Pausing at the room's doorway Anouk looked over her shoulder. "It's good to be home. I've missed you."

Anouk closed the door behind her and stood in the hallway outside of her brother's room somewhat lost. She had thought that coming home would complete her, make that empty space in her heart fill up with light and happiness but it hadn't. "I still feel like I've lost something." She whispered to herself clutching her chest and where her heart should be. She gave the wooden door one more look before walking away from it and to the room and she was given. It was easily the largest room she had ever had since leaving and the only one she had to herself before.

The walls were white and looked lifeless. The hardwood floors cold and hard. There was nothing in this room that spoke of a life, no warmth. The cot was the only thing that Anouk could connect with and all it had was folded up blankets, a pillow and the duffle carry on. The old brown leather was worn and scared with travel and even etched on one side by the artistic hand of a friend. It held more then just an extra set of clothes, sleepwear, undergarments and bathroom supplies but memories. Memories that were seriously lacking in this room.

"Well I can change that." Anouk smiled thinking that soon their household boxes would be here and she could add more life to this room. "But first..." There was something about flying and wearing shorts that didn't mix well for Anouk and while she hadn't wanted to say anything in front of the family she was feeling stuffy in her jeans and shoes. Walking over to her bag she quickly changed into a free flowing skirt and did away with footwear. Wiggling her toes she rocked back and forth from toe to heel gnawing on her bottom lip. There was a temperature difference that could be felt now that she wasn't wearing jeans that almost made Anouk slip back into those stuffy pants but didn't. "I'm sure I'll get used to it." She sighed leaving her room with the door open.

"I figured it would be like this." Anouk hadn't been sure where the attic access was but after a exploratory look about she returned to what she figured was the only access. The only problem was the string was too short and she was lacking the height to reach it. "Oouumph." Anouk was on the tips of her toes reaching with all that she had and was still coming up a good hand and a half short. "Ahha. Hamph." She tried jumping and reaching out for it a few dozen times before returning to useless stretching.

"Let me help you with that."

Anouk hadn't even heard her brother leave his room let alone walk up on her and it startled her enough to reward him with a tiny hop. "Oh! Hi. Thank you." Feeling nervous wasn't something that Anouk was used to and she blushed mumbling something about 'needing an elephant' as she darted up the attic stairs. At the top of the stairs Anouk paused letting her eyes adjust to the darkness before finding the overhead light.

This room was more her style; dry a bit dusty and dirty and warm. It felt nicer then the floor they had just come from but also had life to it. It was broken in and filled with items that held both Jake and her life. "I don't mind if you don't. In this room it almost feels as if we're still together." Anouk smiled taking pleasure in the small things in life as she moved the first of the marked xmas boxes.

~~~~~~~~

Anouk wouldn't have thought that moving a few boxes would both take so long and be so much work. What was a nice cozy room at the start of the adventure soon turned into a dusty African summer where sweat soaked your clothes and clung to your skin. She heard her brother grunt and stretch and she looked over to thank him but the words were caught in her throat at the sight of him. Her was like the magnificent lion, a sandy golden creature of powerful strength. With the way that his shirt outlined all his muscles it was hard to miss how good looking he was. Was it wrong of her to notice it? Anouk didn't think so as it was a simple observation. It hadn't been like she was checking him out and measuring him to other men she had seen. Of course the moment she thought that her eyes scanned across his groin and that caused her to blush and turn away almost missing what he had said.

"What? Oh, um... no thank you. Since you were only helping and it turned out I had more boxes then I thought it seems only fair that you take your shower first. Plus I want to start opening to see what's in them and there's no sense opening dirty boxes when you're clean is there." Anouk smiled trying desperately to think of anything but the comparison of men from different regions.

Helping her mother she had seen her fair share of naked bodies of all genders, ages, shapes and sizes so it hadn't ever bothered Anouk to discuss or even think about such things but never had it been her own brother that she had though of in this manor. While it was true that the men of Africa were larger then most she had seen small ones from there as well are equally large ones from both India and Mongolia.

"You're very tall-" Anouk snapped her mouth shut with wide eyes and shook her head blushing. "What I meant was thank you for your help today. If it hadn't been for your height I would have more then likely looked a fool dragging a dining room chair to the hallway." It hadn't been what she was going to say but this was most definitely the safer of the things to say. "I'm sorry if it caused you pain but I do appreciate it." And freed of her awkwardness she gave Jake a big hug.

There was something about a person's hug. People were known to judge someone by their handshakes but for Anouk it was a person's hug and she hadn't expected her brother's hug to be so, well, lifeless. He didn't hug her back, he just stood there. She guessed as their first close contact of some sibling like intimacy that there was something to be ridge about but it because she didn't think so his reaction to her hug kind of hurt her feelings. But because she was who she was instead of letting it get to her and dragging her down she squeezed him harder before letting him go.

She was going to follow it with an 'I love you' but his blank face stopped her. If that was how he was going to be about a hug she couldn't imagine how her would react to her confession of sisterly love. So instead she watched him leave the room and shut the door behind him.

As Anouk waited for the shower she started to get excited. The last time she had a shower with all the luxury of hot water and a soaker tub had been a few years ago. She was differently looking forwards to it as she dug through her boxes to make the time go by faster. Her mind only lightly drifting to the fact that there was a naked man just on the other side of the door.

The first box she opened was the one she was looking for and she pulled out and lined up all the stuffed animals that she found on her cot quickly filling the narrow temporary bed before the box was empty. It was a tight fit to place and arrange all her toys so they look comfortable but she managed it and when she was done she sat back and looked at the filled cot. She had a lot of stuffed animals and as much as she felt like she should give them away because she was too old for them the more she looked the more she remembered about her life here.

It took some thought but she recalled all their names and the stories she had made for them. How this animal was with that animal as a couple, how the monkey hated the seal because they both liked the lioness. Even how the horse boy hooked up with the unicorn girl but then dumped her. It was amusing to Anouk that she had put so much thought and creative time into her toys and even now how she was adjusting their 'lives' for the time she had been missing.

Anouk's head snapped up and she turned around at the sound of her name. "Yes?" In both hands was a stuffed animal as she played make believe. It was like she had been transported back in time to when she was a young girl and before she knew it she had lost herself in playing. "Um, okay. Give me a sec." Getting up quickly she placed the stuffed animals delicately back into their spots on the cot.

On her way to the bathroom she grabbed her duffel. Her excitement coming back double timed about her shower. The large mirror over the vanity was slightly foggy and dappled with beads of moisture warping her reflection. That was another thing was wasn't used to, seeing herself in a mirror. Sure they had a hand mirror but she had rarely used it. Leaning over the double sinks she wiped the mirror off and just looked at herself taking in the image before her. Knowing that her mother had large breasts had prepared her for what she had to look forward to but looking at herself it looked as if her breasts were even bigger. Maybe it was just because how tiny she was but either way they were large and without thinking about what door was open or closed she cupped her chest. They were firm, heavy and soft and very sensitive when she ran her thumbs over her nipples and felt them tightened and harden under her bra and shirt.

Unaccustomed to closing doors Anouk not only left her's open but didn't even bother to check on her brother's as she started to undress. Off came her shirt, then her skirt leaving her in her satin pink bra and matching thong. It was then that she ran into her problem. How did the shower work? She grasped the hot and cold water nobs from the letters but but did it go from running water to shower?

Anouk pulled back the shower curtains and turned on the water testing and pulling on different things and getting nothing. "Jacques?" Anouk called over her shoulder as she leaved over and into the tub shower to get a better look to see if she was just missing something that was just sitting right under her nose.

I heard my brother walk in but continued to tug and experiment, sure that he would be at my side in moments to help me out. "Jacques..." I looked over my shoulder to look at him just standing there. "The shower." I stopped pushing on the surrounding tiles and pointed at the cause of my problem. "How does it work?" Whatever it was that caught his attention was broken by my voice and he seemed to come to and joined me at the tub.

He quickly explained and demonstrated how it worked and I watched in fascination as the water was directed from the spout to the faucet head. I stood up and held my hand out and felt the water rain upon my upturned palm and smiled. This was great I thought as I stood up and turned to my brother with a big smile on my face. He had that far odd puzzled look on his face again that seemed to stop all brain functions or at least the ability to talk. "Water?" I filled in for him as she fumbled to finish what he was saying.

I nodded my head as he showed me that what he had told me was the truth before turning the water on again and pulling on the faucet running it thought the shower head again. The sound of the water hitting the bottom of the shower tub was loud and kind of reminded of of the sound of the rain on the tin roof in the first Africa hut. It was a denser sound with less of an echo but it was more or less the same as far as it not sounding like a stone slab.

In a lot of the places that I lived direct eye contact was either viewed as rude or aggressive and it was a habit to just glance at a person and never stare then down yet when Jake and I made eye contact I couldn't look away. There was something that captured me, hypnotized me in those green eyes that were so similar to my own. Time stretched and what were milliseconds felt like hours. It was heavy, intimate and undeniably rousing.

I blinked slowly at his words slightly confused what what was going on having been lost in his eyes. My brother's eye. Roused by my brother. I shook my head to clear it and smiled at him as he retreated. "Towels, towels were going to be my next question." Jake looked away but I didn't noticing just now that all he had on was a towel that hung heavy against his body with the weight of the moisture it held.

"Hmmm..." I hummed the word as my head tilted and my gaze dipped below his bellybutton. "I..." I can't saw that!!! And I catch myself and snap my head up hoping that he hadn't seen where my eyes had been heading, okay already were and staring. "Thank you again." And to hurry him out I pushed him out of the door and closed it behind him.

My mind was racing in time with my heart and my body felt warmer then it should have. "And add therapy to my not to distant future." I sighed under my breath as I returned to the mirror. It hadn't even occurred to me at the time of what I was wearing. In third world countries nudity wasn't ever a problem and with the nomads it was even worse and it was something that I had grown up around so it didn't bother me either. A blush colored my cheeks as I wondered how it mush have effected my brother. Weren't Americans prudish? I couldn't remember what was said about the State's and what they found to be appropriate and the only thing I had to judge what was okay on was how me and Mom acted around each other. If that was the case then it probably didn't even phase Jacques and as giddy as I felt about it I let it go and started my shower grabbing my soaps from my bag before stripping the last bits of clothing and hopping into the shower.

Scrubbing down, shaving and washing my hair didn't take very long at all but it was the steaming hot bath that I drew after I was clean that was taking forever. I had filled the tub up with water as hot as I could get it and soaked in the hot water until it had started to become comfortably bearable. "This is the life..." I sighed after about ten minutes. "I could spend all night in here." Relaxed in every way that I could be I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, lured by the warm waters that surrounded me.

I knew I was dreaming and therefore asleep but nothing on my list of things to do tonight I sunk even farther into the scene that was playing out.

I was a young child again, a time before I left America. This was one of the last camping trips that the family had together. I remembered that I climbed a tree as high as I could just to prove that I wasn't afraid and ended up getting stuck because in truth I was scared and getting down was worse then climbing up had been.

"Jacques!" My childish voice cried out in the best yelled whisper I could manage. I didn't want our parents to catch me up in the tree this high. "I climbed too high." Sniffles broke the cadence of my plea as I hugged the tree tightly, the bark pressed against my face leaving impressions on my pale skin.

The ever faithful brother Jacques started to climb up. I knew that halfway up we would both get caught and wouldn't get smores later that night but as dreams were things were changing and altering from what really was.

"I'll come get you." He promised reaching for a limb above his head.

I watched in fascination as with each climbing motion higher he aged and grew. This is what I had missed, watching my younger brother grow up. We had been so close and now it was as if we were strangers. I realized then it was because we were.

"There now." The face I looked at now was of the stranger not the brother I left behind. "I've come to save you."

"Who said I needed to be saved?" I had aged to my current age as well and had let go of the death grip I had of the tree. "I'm fine without you."

Jacques smiled and it didn't look right. It was the young boy's smile on the grown man. "Really because it looks like you're going to fall."

"Am I?" I looked around and sure enough I had fallen backwards out of the tree. "Jacques!" I screamed his name the same moment his arms wrapped around me in a warm hug. I felt safe in his arms and I laid my cheek against his suddenly naked chest. His skin was warm and smelled clean and reminded me of the smell of sun baked earth. "You saved me." We landed in the thick plush green grass, his body over mine and my head pillowed on his arm.

"I did." His voice was husky and deep, a tone that tightened my stomach and made me feel even warmer then I was with his body pressed to mine. We just laid there, our eye locked. A moment suspended in time and pulled taunt with the tension of emotions. My heart was racing and breathing because a problem as I inhaled and exhaled with jagged breathes.

A stand of hair crossed my face with the sudden breeze and Jacques shifted over me to brush it out of my face and tuck it behind my ear. His finger tips were soft, the short cut nails that grazed my skin scratchy. I shivered once, then twice. "Thank you." Jacques said nothing, his face growing more and more serious.

"Don't thank me." He whispered, his breath tickling my face as he leaned in, tilting his face to line up our lips for a kiss.

"Jacques..." I shivered again and closed my eyes. There was a cold breeze that kept drifting over my body that was bothering me.

My eyes fluttered open and I moved to get away from the colder air, the sound of splashing water at first confusing me. I blinked a few more times and looked around. I was in the bathroom. Still in the tub. The water had started to cool but it was the air from the open door that had awoken me. It wasn't hard to find my brother standing there in the middle of the bathroom. When I had caught sight of him the first time I had thought that he was just a lingering image from my dream.

Looking up I caught his eyes and remembered the tight feeling I had in my stomach from my dream. "Jacques." I yawned his name and sat up in the tub, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I woke up from my nap. "I dreamed of you." I wiped the water from my face and smiled up at him. "Just now." I clarified. I wasn't sure he understood me, there was this weird look on his face I didn't understand. "Are you, are you okay?" I had kept my eyes on his face but worried about his health and well being my eyes traveled over his body looking for the source of some kind of pain.

"I..." My mouth hung open and the words died as my attention was captured by my brother's arousal. Like in the dream my heart started to race and the deep inhale of air quivered. My mind tried to imagine what it looked like bare, the size and shape of it. I swallowed thinking to myself how wrong it was to think these things about him. "I'm sorry." I don't know why I felt the need to say those words but I did and I said it before I could stop myself.

Was this my fault, because of the dream? Did I take too long and ruin the time he spent with himself? I didn't know but it took quite the bit of effort to look away from the bulge in my brother's boxers. "May I..." My voice quivered as much as my breathing did and I cleared my throat before continuing. "Can you pass me my towel?" I nodded pointing my chin at the folded towel on the counter. "Please."

It was easier to see Jacques my Brother versus Jacques the Man when I looked away from his boxers. It was obvious to what what he had planned to do in the bathroom and while it was completely normal I found myself blushing as I stood up out of the tub and grabbed the towel from him. A large part of myself, a very large part, wanted to look down again to gauge the man that my little brother was.

"No." I kept m eyes up as I wrapped the towel around myself. "I'll go. You stay." I quickly darted around the bathroom picking up my shirt, bra and skirt which I then shoved into the duffle that had my other things in them. "I'm done anyways. Oh, wait." Before picking up the bag I turned around and unplugged the drain of the tub, the water creating a tornado in the water as it went down the drain. "There." I grabbed my bag then and turned to leave. I wanted to say something about what I saw, how I felt or what I had dreamed of but said nothing as I stepped out of the bathroom, tapping the door with my foot in ways of closing it as I walked pasted it and into my room.

I didn't know what to do. Mom had taught me about men and their needs but other then in the medical field I had never seen a man before and never hard. My duffle made a dull thump as it fell to the floor and I followed soon after it sitting crossed legged besides it. I untucked the corners of the towel and felt it fall from around my chest and pool around my hips. The air felt cold against my damp skin and goosebumps raised and the little hairs on my arm rose. I shivered but did nothing to make myself warm. I would dry off soon enough and would warm up from there. Right now I had other things on my mind.

I remembered the kids that we were growing up together. I know looking at him that he was my brother but having seen him in that state I wanted him to not be my brother. I wanted him to be some handsome man that was safe to explore with. Seeing what Mom worked with I was too scared to like a boy much less kiss them or explore and at the time it hadn't been a problem. It wasn't something that I had thought of. But now... It was as if years of hormones hit me all at once and a million questions came to mind. So many things that I never cared about I suddenly wanted to know about.

Straining my ears I closed my eyes and listened. Was it wrong that I was listening? I opened my eyes and looked at the bathroom door, it hadn't closed all the way and hung out of it's latch but lodged in the doorway. I couldn't see anything but a very thin ray of light from the bathroom into my bedroom.

I wondered what Jacques had been thinking about before he walked into the bathroom and what he much have been feeling when he realized that I was still in there. My cheeks again flushed with color as I recalled the image of him standing there before me. How embarrassed he must have been. I shook my head ashamed of myself. I should be embarrassed not curious. That would have been the normal reaction a sister would have had if her brother just walked in on her in the tub with him sporting a hardon. Right?

I didn't know. I had lived as a single child for too long to remember what it felt like to have a brother again. It wasn't that I had forgotten about him, quite the opposite, but I hadn't expected us being together again to be so... different.

With another shake of my head I stood up, dried off and got dressed. I wore my favorite sportsbra and jersey with my cotton capri pants. It's wasn't the most fashionable but it was clean, dry, warm and comfortable. I didn't want to think about what happened in the bathroom any more and turned my back to the door and returned my attention to the few boxes I had yet to touch.

But my mind didn’t want to focus. It was like every sound was amplified and commanded my attention. After just standing there doing nothing I gave into the truth, I was curious to the actions on the other side of that door. It was wrong and no matter how I looked at if I was being honest I should have felt some kind of guilt but I didn’t. I peeked over my shoulder at the door temped to sneak a look, for medical reasons, I tried back to lying to myself again.

“Honestly-“ I sighed quickly turning from the door and out of the room. Space. Space would cure the thoughts in my head I convinced myself heading towards the large tv. I saw seriously behind on movies and television shows. Hopefully the tv would be easier to work then the shower. On the shelf against the far was were dvds and I headed there first pulling on at random. Unfamiliar with current actors I flipped the case over and scanned the back jacket. Action war movie. I put the movie back on the shelf and pulled another at random. This time it was a horror document, Paranormal Activity and a read over provided some interest so I put it off to the side before tackling my next task, the tv/dvd player.

The power buttons were easy enough to find and when the tv came to life it was with a jarring amount of noise. “Opps,” I quickly repressed the button and the tv sizzled back into silence. “Remote?” I asked the large empty room taking a look around. When nothing was found I gave up and moved to the kitchen. I wasn’t hungry but poked around the cabinets and fridge aimlessly.

“You know…” I hummed with a sly giggle. “With Mom and Dad in their room ‘visiting’ and Jake in his bathroom having ‘alone time’, it seems I’m the only one not having myself any dessert.” I smiled sharing my insight with the pantry. “Now…” I said my tone firmer and filled with determination. “If I were cookies?” My eyes scanned the shelves before falling on a small tub I hadn’t seen in ages. “Frosting!” It was such a silly thing to get excited about but my eyes sparkled with delight as I quickly snatched the container from the shelf. My first instinct was to just eat it out of the plastic but me sense got the better of me and instead I found the largest spoon that I could fit in the tub and dipped it in.

The first lick caused me to squint my eyes as the sugar rushed straight to me head and heavily coated my tongue. “Mmmmhm.” I sighed with childish glee savoring the sweet and sugary paste. This was a horrible thing to be snacking on but I had always had a sweet tooth and it had only grown fiercer in the years since childhood. “Yummy…” The second lick I was more prepared for and simply enjoyed the frosting, comparing it to the memory I had of it from long ago.

For the moment thoughts of Jake were far from my mind as I returned to the living room to power on the tv, quickly manually turning the sound down with the buttons found on the underside of the television. I still wanted to watch the movie I had found but with a means to achieve that I settled for just watching the muted screen while I licked my frosting covered serving spoon free. All the while happily making a sticky mess. Besides who was there to witness the frosting that happened to dot the tip of my nose or the tiny dab that landed on my chest just above my shirt line?