As The Hospital Pervs

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I don't want to muddle anymore. Let's run away.


It's like they have nailed my foot to the floor. The Big Boss came along today and said they have even more work for me, slam on top of what I'm doing now.


I need a clone of me for about three weeks.


If you want a break to do something else . . . we can run away after they pay us.
 
PS: The nurses and their staffs were wonderful. My penis, sadly stayed lonely until I got home.
Thank you for the story, I always wonder what the other side feels like because I can imagine and empathize, but the real deal is the first person.

Also, I am sorry about your poor lonely penis suffering the multiple catheter insertions. I am glad the nurses were cute and sexy and that you survived. :heart:


We take our foley catheters out on post operative day number one at 0600 hour. If the urine output is low the surgeons give IV fluid bolus because you will pee with or without the catheter.

I know the nurses get all excited waiting for that first bowel movement after surgery. It's some kind of disorder: elimination needs.
 
It's like they have nailed my foot to the floor. The Big Boss came along today and said they have even more work for me, slam on top of what I'm doing now.


I need a clone of me for about three weeks.


If you want a break to do something else . . . we can run away after they pay us.
It's Friday night and I don't even want to go anywhere.
 
It's Friday night and I don't even want to go anywhere.


I went out to dinner with friends. We had a nice visit/chat.


And I'm now damn glad to be home.


And tomorrow is a school day - the construction manager talked me into working. :rolleyes:
 
I know the nurses get all excited waiting for that first bowel movement after surgery. It's some kind of disorder: elimination needs.

We're the Poop Nazis! :D


Where I work, we are obsessed with BMs. Almost all of our patients are either hyper- or hypotonic, so have poor bowel motility; at least one of our long-term residents dies from a bowel obstruction almost every year. Once you lose a couple of friends that way, you tend to get a bit hung up on shit.


Once, a CNA took a clean diaper, smeared the back of it with watered-down pumpkin pie filling, and took it to a new nurse, explaining that there was something off about it; it "looks and smells strange - do you think we should test it for C. diff.?" Stuck his gloved fingers into it and scooped up a bit, put it in his mouth, ate it, and said, "see, it usually doesn't taste anything like this..."

She threw up.
 
We're the Poop Nazis! :D


Where I work, we are obsessed with BMs. Almost all of our patients are either hyper- or hypotonic, so have poor bowel motility; at least one of our long-term residents dies from a bowel obstruction almost every year. Once you lose a couple of friends that way, you tend to get a bit hung up on shit.


Once, a CNA took a clean diaper, smeared the back of it with watered-down pumpkin pie filling, and took it to a new nurse, explaining that there was something off about it; it "looks and smells strange - do you think we should test it for C. diff.?" Stuck his gloved fingers into it and scooped up a bit, put it in his mouth, ate it, and said, "see, it usually doesn't taste anything like this..."

She threw up.
*snort*

I had a patient the other day who hadn't had a BM since he'd been admitted - 6 days ago. He was ready to go to rehab, but the doc (a resident) was concerned because he couldn't do his business. I said, "I can make anybody poop. Give me an order for a Dulcolax suppository and some MOM. I'll make him poop."

One suppository, a dose of MOM, a cup of warm prune juice, and an hour later, and that man was a pooping machine. The PCTs hate me now, but the resident acted like I found the answer to world peace. :rolleyes:
 
*snort*

I had a patient the other day who hadn't had a BM since he'd been admitted - 6 days ago. He was ready to go to rehab, but the doc (a resident) was concerned because he couldn't do his business. I said, "I can make anybody poop. Give me an order for a Dulcolax suppository and some MOM. I'll make him poop."

One suppository, a dose of MOM, a cup of warm prune juice, and an hour later, and that man was a pooping machine. The PCTs hate me now, but the resident acted like I found the answer to world peace. :rolleyes:
Hahaha! What about a soap-suds enema?
 
We're the Poop Nazis! :D


Where I work, we are obsessed with BMs. Almost all of our patients are either hyper- or hypotonic, so have poor bowel motility; at least one of our long-term residents dies from a bowel obstruction almost every year. Once you lose a couple of friends that way, you tend to get a bit hung up on shit.


Once, a CNA took a clean diaper, smeared the back of it with watered-down pumpkin pie filling, and took it to a new nurse, explaining that there was something off about it; it "looks and smells strange - do you think we should test it for C. diff.?" Stuck his gloved fingers into it and scooped up a bit, put it in his mouth, ate it, and said, "see, it usually doesn't taste anything like this..."

She threw up.
I think I would puke too! That was a cruel trick, but it is funny.

Yeah, it is serious business, the pooping business.
 
I went out to dinner with friends. We had a nice visit/chat.


And I'm now damn glad to be home.


And tomorrow is a school day - the construction manager talked me into working. :rolleyes:
I fell asleep by 10:44. My body woke up like it was time to work. I should go back to sleep now.
 
Let's talk about pain. My low back hurts sometimes. It goes away. I should do some kind of exercise to make it stronger.

The new pain is weird-- it's in my feet, specifically the heels. It feels like the pain is right in the bone. It feels good when I squeeze the heel really hard with my hands.

I wore sneakers the last two shifts-- still hurts.

Anyone know what the problem is?
 
We're the Poop Nazis! :D


Where I work, we are obsessed with BMs. Almost all of our patients are either hyper- or hypotonic, so have poor bowel motility; at least one of our long-term residents dies from a bowel obstruction almost every year. Once you lose a couple of friends that way, you tend to get a bit hung up on shit.


Once, a CNA took a clean diaper, smeared the back of it with watered-down pumpkin pie filling, and took it to a new nurse, explaining that there was something off about it; it "looks and smells strange - do you think we should test it for C. diff.?" Stuck his gloved fingers into it and scooped up a bit, put it in his mouth, ate it, and said, "see, it usually doesn't taste anything like this..."

She threw up.

I wish I'd thought of that, I'd have done it with my kid's diapers.

Once did a somewhat similar thing at a crime scene we were done with. Lt. showed up to be a looky-lou. Asked if one smear was brains or blood. I bent down, ran my middle finger through it quickly, then put my index finger in my mouth. "Hmm. Salty. It's blood. Brains are sweeter." The look of horror was marvelous! I don't think he ever caught on that I'd switched fingers. 8)
 
I fell asleep by 10:44. My body woke up like it was time to work. I should go back to sleep now.


I have a somewhat accurate internal alarm, and, failing that, my bladder works pretty well.


Home from the work weasels. I think it's nap time.
 
The biggest hospital in the city is building a new gastrointestinal clinic building. It is in between Taco Bell and Perkins. The jokes practically write themselves.
 
I work with a bunch of lunatics but I can’t wait to go back to work cause I know, some nurse will walk by when I am sitting at the desk and she will put her hands on my back and give a fast squeeze and rub that feels so good.

It’s like a you are not alone feeling.
 
I have been sleeping later on days off. I have been sleeping a lot.


I did sleep a lot in February and March. I had the flu and then a sinus infection, but I was generally run down and in Winter Malaise. Spring has finally sprung and I am feeling human again.


Likely you're going through a cycle. I know I do.
 
I did sleep a lot in February and March. I had the flu and then a sinus infection, but I was generally run down and in Winter Malaise. Spring has finally sprung and I am feeling human again.


Likely you're going through a cycle. I know I do.
I am glad you feel better.

It is a cycle, the kind that spins around on my broke axis. It's springtime, the alien-like farm machines take up the whole road, the air smells like shit, and those hands got those rape eyes looking at me as they wave by my back door.
 
I am glad you feel better.

It is a cycle, the kind that spins around on my broke axis. It's springtime, the alien-like farm machines take up the whole road, the air smells like shit, and those hands got those rape eyes looking at me as they wave by my back door.


Does the pollen get you down? It did me as a kid, but I seem to have (mostly) outgrown it. It blew and rained a bit this morning and that crap is all over the ground . . . and I'm going to have to start Lawnmower Season this week. :rolleyes:


Keep your eyes on the weirdos.
 
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