Red's Thread - come in and read a bit, post a bit, and lick a bit... okay... alot!!!

I'm sorry for your friend.

and you're right, he probably will just go on to the next one....

Good morning Scent!!

Scentofawoman said:

Morning!

I am in a killing mood this morning.
So another woman... who I will not say, is falling victim to a male bully. Of course she is telling him no,and to stop. and now he's on ignore. The problem is, then he just moves on tho the next woman, who may not be strong enough.

Makes my blood boil. really it does. when it happened to me, if i didn't have such other wonderful friends to fall back on I think I would have been devastated.


Grrr

Click to expand...

Good morning everyone.


Scent, I know that there are women and men that can't stand up to a bully, but I don't know how to stop them either. Sadly the whole "free speech" has opened up to "free beat on people online too" - They place a person on ignore, and the guy/woman picks a new victim and they place them on ignore... there is no way to stop them. New Identities pop up all the time.

Everyone gangs up on the one person that is bullying another. Really how does that help? They disappear and come back in a day or two later with some of the other thirty or so newbies. Some alias folk are dumb, they immediately flock to who they bullied and begin again, but some are smart too - but all of them, every last one of them are living off the pain they give others and the anger that we (the flock of protectors) give them when we jump down throats and make threats.

As far as what we can do as a group. We offer the victim support and encouragement and we ALL ignore the garbage that walks along next to us. Garbage can be kicked to the curb, but it will always find away to roll back in when it is virtual garbage. We just have to keep kickin' it back when it appears.

Someone harasses me and I go to a man I trust and ask him to handle it. . . What can he do? Make some online threats in a PM --- okay, they are words, that is all. Just like the words that someone is writing to another.

Women and Men need to stand up for themselves online, even the women and men that are weak - in time they have to decide they ARE the stronger person and they MUST prove it to themselves by handling themselves and their virtual bully.

I don't say all this to be a mean bitch. I just think people need to realize words hurt, but you allow them to hurt as much as the person spewing them allows them to be written.

RedHairedandFriendly said:

Good morning everyone.


Scent, I know that there are women and men that can't stand up to a bully, but I don't know how to stop them either. Sadly the whole "free speech" has opened up to "free beat on people online too" - They place a person on ignore, and the guy/woman picks a new victim and they place them on ignore... there is no way to stop them. New Identities pop up all the time.

Everyone gangs up on the one person that is bullying another. Really how does that help? They disappear and come back in a day or two later with some of the other thirty or so newbies. Some alias folk are dumb, they immediately flock to who they bullied and begin again, but some are smart too - but all of them, every last one of them are living off the pain they give others and the anger that we (the flock of protectors) give them when we jump down throats and make threats.

As far as what we can do as a group. We offer the victim support and encouragement and we ALL ignore the garbage that walks along next to us. Garbage can be kicked to the curb, but it will always find away to roll back in when it is virtual garbage. We just have to keep kickin' it back when it appears.

*** Snipped for space***

Click to expand...

You are right Red. I tried to be the protector and all it got me was warnings from the Mods. The asshat still is on line harassing...

I feel that taking the high road seems to be todays advice. Be kind and gentle and publicly post the PM's for all too see, once. (you may have to alter the name a tad to keep the mods happy) After all free speech right? Just dont get into a pissing match with them, don't stoop to their level They only want the attention which is why only post once to let others know then all can ignore them.

Thank you Red for giving us a safe haven in here and keeping that Tiger in the corner for our protection. (morning Scent)

lol!

You guys are awesome!

Yeah I vented my frustration on writing a long email I was going to post. Then I deleted it. But it felt good to pour my anger out. I'm better now.


still want to say Grr.

creaman_nsa said:

You are right Red. I tried to be the protector and all it got me was warnings from the Mods. The asshat still is on line harassing...

I feel that taking the high road seems to be todays advice. Be kind and gentle and publicly post the PM's for all too see, once. (you may have to alter the name a tad to keep the mods happy) After all free speech right? Just dont get into a pissing match with them, don't stoop to their level They only want the attention which is why only post once to let others know then all can ignore them.

Thank you Red for giving us a safe haven in here and keeping that Tiger in the corner for our protection. (morning Scent)

Click to expand...

I don't envy the job of a Mod, not at all. I am sure one day my thread will fall victim to drama that will last more than a day. Hopefully when it hits folks just don't do the whole quote within a quote bullshit. That's almost as annoying, if not more so than anything else, then we are forced to see what we tried to protect ourselves from. THERE IS NEVER A REASON TO QUOTE A BULLY - NEVER!!! If you want proof, you quickly click the link and PM it to admin. with a copy of the words too. That way they can't go back and edit, but NEVER QUOTE THE QUOTE!

Scentofawoman said:

lol!

You guys are awesome!

Yeah I vented my frustration on writing a long email I was going to post. Then I deleted it. But it felt good to pour my anger out. I'm better now.


still want to say Grr.

Click to expand...

Venting is good.

I'll expound on what Red has finished with in her comment. Each and every stalker/troll that comes in here and looks to harrass women, or men, is looking for attention. To them, negative attention, is just as good as positive attention. Ignoring them is the most effective way of dealing with them, alomng with the ignore feature. It's what we call, 'Pulling an Amish' on them. They are shunned and considered invisible.

When they are found out and return with another Alt, they will indeed try to return and harrass and intimidate people. If you feel someone is doing that to you, don't respond to their PM's and report it to the site owners. IP addresses can be checked by them easily enough and know who it is.

Currently, I know of 3 men in the PG who are using different Alts and have returned to the PG to harrass and disrupt. I always thought calling them out pubically in a thread was the best way. If anyone receives unwarranted and unwanted PM's and feel the person sending them is harrassing them, post the person's name and we are all aware and watch them carefully.

I received a couple of PM's last night from a newer member, who came to me for advice on someone PM'ing her. I read the exchange and saw who was PM'ing and told her to tell him to fuck off. Ravi was back to his old ways, despite his new Alt.

This is a community of people, who want to come together and share good times, not face more problems than they do in RL already. No one should have to be subjected to that kind of treatment here. No one

Like I said the ass hat is still up to his old ways.

Very well said Lance.

I remember back in the old day s(Pre Internet as it is known today) We had chat boards that anyone could ban someone until the mod could look back at the posts and decide if it was warranted and then if found innocent, reinstate them. If you were banned you had to ask for reinstatement. It kept things nice and tidy until that also started getting abused.

I guess we just all need to go to bed, pull the covers up over us and only let in the soft warm bodies.

Not responding really is the best route. When I came online one morning ( a long time ago ) I was "slapped" virtually in the face by someone I had thought was a Lit. friend or at least a good acquaintance. I have no clue what had transpired to make that happen, and still don't know for sure. Any-who, it was shocking and blew my mind at the hostility I felt behind the words and yes it was all written. But the words still hurt.

I tried to discover what had happened, but could not. So I placed the person on ignore and for the longest time I feared posting on any threads we had posted on before with each other. Eventually though I did and I never was forced to interact with the person. I never saw the words they posted because I never went looking for them. It was hard to not feed the curiosity bug, but in the long run that was what was best for me.

If that person is still at Lit. -- don't know, don't care.

creaman_nsa said:

Like I said the ass hat is still up to his old ways.

Very well said Lance.

I remember back in the old day s(Pre Internet as it is known today) We had chat boards that anyone could ban someone until the mod could look back at the posts and decide if it was warranted and then if found innocent, reinstate them. If you were banned you had to ask for reinstatement. It kept things nice and tidy until that also started getting abused.

I guess we just all need to go to bed, pull the covers up over us and only let in the soft warm bodies.

Click to expand...

Oh, I like that last suggestion.

I can see where that power could be abused real quick.

creaman_nsa said:

Like I said the ass hat is still up to his old ways.

Very well said Lance.

I remember back in the old day s(Pre Internet as it is known today) We had chat boards that anyone could ban someone until the mod could look back at the posts and decide if it was warranted and then if found innocent, reinstate them. If you were banned you had to ask for reinstatement. It kept things nice and tidy until that also started getting abused.

I guess we just all need to go to bed, pull the covers up over us and only let in the soft warm bodies.

Click to expand...

I was a gold hammer in a very popular MSN chatroom back in the day. I watched conversations going on all the time, but it was the private ones that we given my attention from people. They would send me the post and if I felt it was warranted, they were barred for life, never to come back. I could ban for a couple of hours, to a day, to a month. It was hard to be a Mod, but it was worth it to see everyone happy and getting along.

I think I would get banned for telling to many people to fuck off in a nice way.



Anyway Tricia has Lance, the other two I am trying to let them know that they have options. Hopefully they will make their way here.

whatever happen to the chatroom anyway?

lance gt said:

I was a gold hammer in a very popular MSN chatroom back in the day. I watched conversations going on all the time, but it was the private ones that we given my attention from people. They would send me the post and if I felt it was warranted, they were barred for life, never to come back. I could ban for a couple of hours, to a day, to a month. It was hard to be a Mod, but it was worth it to see everyone happy and getting along.

Click to expand...

I hung out in an MSN chat for a few weeks, then found Lit. and the rest is history.

Scentofawoman said:

I think I would get banned for telling to many people to fuck off in a nice way.

Anyway Tricia has Lance, the other two I am trying to let them know that they have options. Hopefully they will make their way here.

whatever happen to the chatroom anyway?

Click to expand...

Everyone can slip in here, they know that. I had a stalker slip in, and publicly asked him to leave, he slipped out, apologized privately to me, slipped in, never quite got up the gumption to do any posting though after the public ousting and he disappeared again. I do believe he's fluttering about again, but I don't know as who and I'm okay with that too.

I just don't get it....
Why would someone need to get attention in a negative sense? Like a woman is going to fall for a guy that is a jerk or worse.

Isn't is better to be surrounded by friends? Teasing, caring for each other, learning the person behind the typed words.

Knowing how you feel when someone has hurt you why would anyone want to present that hurt in written words for all to see or become personal with the hurtful stabs in PM.

Words said here are the same as if they are said face to face. in a way they are. (My face just has a "G" on it) If you cannot stand by your words, actions, deeds, then just move on.

Back to the bed idea..... I cannot figure out if a small bed to we have to be that much closer and stacked is better or a large bed for more room to romp? decisions........

Scentofawoman said:

I think I would get banned for telling to many people to fuck off in a nice way.



Anyway Tricia has Lance, the other two I am trying to let them know that they have options. Hopefully they will make their way here.

whatever happen to the chatroom anyway?

Click to expand...

They are still there, just overrun by kids and those like the ones we would like to see banned here.

I am sure Red would welcome them here with open arms... I like meeting new friends.

creaman_nsa said:

I just don't get it....
Why would someone need to get attention in a negative sense? Like a woman is going to fall for a guy that is a jerk or worse.

Isn't is better to be surrounded by friends? Teasing, caring for each other, learning the person behind the typed words.

Knowing how you feel when someone has hurt you why would anyone want to present that hurt in written words for all to see or become personal with the hurtful stabs in PM.

Words said here are the same as if they are said face to face. in a way they are. (My face just has a "G" on it) If you cannot stand by your words, actions, deeds, then just move on.

Back to the bed idea..... I cannot figure out if a small bed to we have to be that much closer and stacked is better or a large bed for more room to romp? decisions........

Click to expand...

I think a lot of bullies online are the ones that were too weak in school to protect themselves, so they find that power here online because it is safe for them and they are working through their demons by hurting others and feeling better with themselves for it. There are also though those same bullies from school that have not ever realized their actions are wrong or they don't care.


About beds. Large beds please.

lance gt said:

I was a gold hammer in a very popular MSN chatroom back in the day. I watched conversations going on all the time, but it was the private ones that we given my attention from people. They would send me the post and if I felt it was warranted, they were barred for life, never to come back. I could ban for a couple of hours, to a day, to a month. It was hard to be a Mod, but it was worth it to see everyone happy and getting along.

Click to expand...

I used to be on Yahoo chat (too much) MSN a little bit but also Lit has taken over....

In a shameless plug, kudos to Laurel and Manu for starting this. Cheers to the Mods who work tirelessly to keep this place on the straight and narrow.

(maybe i can stay for another day )

RedHairedandFriendly said:

I think a lot of bullies online are the ones that were too weak in school to protect themselves, so they find that power here online because it is safe for them and they are working through their demons by hurting others and feeling better with themselves for it. There are also though those same bullies from school that have not ever realized their actions are wrong or they don't care.


About beds. Large beds please.

Click to expand...

Bullies are weaker than you. If you can know that, you can conquer them.

Agreed, king size bed with headboard and foot board that can accommodate rope, handcuffs, sheets, belts ...

RedHairedandFriendly said:

About beds. Large beds please.

Click to expand...

I don't remember the plural thing.... I am thinking one only... more fun that way.

Tim, great idea.... I ordered new nylon rope yesterday, good time to try it out.

Now to the ceiling and the items to hang from there. Mirrors, Swing, hooks......

creaman_nsa said:

I used to be on Yahoo chat (too much) MSN a little bit but also Lit has taken over....

In a shameless plug, kudos to Laurel and Manu for starting this. Cheers to the Mods who work tirelessly to keep this place on the straight and narrow.

(maybe i can stay for another day )

Click to expand...

I do like this place a lot. I do think there are ways to improve the harassment, but again I know it cannot be easy on a site this large.

Callmetim said:

Bullies are weaker than you. If you can know that, you can conquer them.

Agreed, king size bed with headboard and foot board that can accommodate rope, handcuffs, sheets, belts ...

Click to expand...

I agree bullies are very weak, mentally most definitely. lol

Oh yes ---

creaman_nsa said:

I don't remember the plural thing.... I am thinking one only... more fun that way.

Click to expand...

I just meant beds in general. Are we on a bed?

RedHairedandFriendly said:

I do like this place a lot. I do think there are ways to improve the harassment, but again I know it cannot be easy on a site this large.



I agree bullies are very weak, mentally most definitely. lol

Oh yes ---




I just meant beds in general. Are we on a bed?

Click to expand...

It's your thread, we can be anywhere you want to be....

RedHairedandFriendly said:

I do like this place a lot. I do think there are ways to improve the harassment, but again I know it cannot be easy on a site this large.

Click to expand...

i can improve the harassment if you would give me more ammo to work with. i cant harass you unless youre harassable......

creaman_nsa said:

It's your thread, we can be anywhere you want to be....

Click to expand...

One would think that wouldn't they. lol

I've had to lay down rules about where I am in my own thread. So I always clarify where someone thinks they put me.

The thing to remember, is that these are sick and twisted individuals who do this for kicks. We could make a profile of each kind of stalker, troll, abuser and see that these guys and women, are shunned in the real world for one reason or another and have no social interaction skills. Many try to live out fantasies and don't care if there is consent or not.
Their only goal is to fulfil whatever drives them and no one is safe. Think of it as having a sex offender living next door and all the kids play in the yard unattended. No one is watching them and no one knows anything has happened, until after the fact and someone's been hurt.
Newbies should be given a chance to protect themselves, by having a heads up thread, a sticky, so it's always there up top to see and they should be directed to it at the beginning. It's a shame that this is what it comes to, but we have no other choice to protect ourselves.