BDSM ~ Random Stories in Current News

Big Bucks for Pain Sluts

Big Bucks for Pain Sluts
Inside the kinky world of professional submissives
by Rachel Kramer Bussel
February , 2006

Over the course of her career, Joan Kelly (submarnie.com) has been strung up and splashed with freezing water, had her labia sewn shut, gotten caned, and taken countless bare-bottomed spankings�and has loved almost every minute of it. As "Marnie," the Los Angeles�based kinky gal works as an independent professional submissive. For $260 an hour (to start), you can hire her to lie across your lap and get whacked good and hard (her favorite) or, for several thousand dollars, go deeper into your dominant fantasies. She'll even come right to your hotel room, or you can use a local dungeon.

It's clear from Kelly's The Pleasure's All Mine: The Memoir of a Professional Submissive (Carroll & Graf, 2005) that this job's about much more than money. Her excitement is evident over the phone, as she reveals that she's been single until recently, getting her pain fix on the job. "When I started, I had that Pretty Woman fantasy, thinking I'd meet Mr. Kinky Right. If that had ever happened, I would've quit in a heartbeat," she confesses. "If I don't have someone in my personal life [to be kinky with], I'm physically compelled to do sessions. I've tried to quit a few times, but I couldn't�I have to have this in my life." Kelly's current paramour, whom she met online, is "getting kinkier by the minute," responding to her cues.

Local pro sub Submissive Ophelia (submissiveophelia.com), who claims she's "New York City's most hardcore masochist," also got into the work after a failed relationship. Her first boyfriend made her his captive, and after that, "I had a difficult time meeting men who enjoyed dominating me. My submissive urges kept growing, and I decided being a pro would get me more playtime and fulfill my desires."

Her favorite part of the job is the physical high, while the biggest drawback is tending to bruises several times a day after a heavy corporal scene. "I surprise myself at how far my pain tolerance has evolved. For example, I had a client sew my vaginal lips shut, and I didn't make a peep," Ophelia boasts via e-mail. "I had another client who took 18-gauge needles, heated them until they were red-hot, and used them to pierce the insides of my butt cheeks. I could hear my skin sizzling as the needles penetrated me."

Byron Mayo, co-owner of the BDSM advertising hot spot Eros-Guide.com and former owner of a commercial San Francisco dungeon, has nothing but praise for the skills pro subs bring to their trade. "You can touch places in a really good sub session that most marriages don't get to in years. The result is a sense of psychological intimacy most of us crave but rarely get," he says. "In a world of political correctness, confusing role models, and enforced 'equality,' the ability to tell a beautiful, intelligent, and demure woman to get on her knees and do what you say is a fantasy come true."

A woman after my own heart, Kelly's favorite type of scene involves over-the-knee hand spanking and role-playing. "The hottest thing for me is if they're 'punishing' me for something. I could do back-to-back spanking sessions all day, every day," she enthuses, then clarifies�"but not if it were eight hours of super hard spanking." She has done five hours in a row, but she enjoys the challenge. "I'm tired at the end of a day like that, but mostly from the emotional energy of plugging in with one person after another."

Being a sub is decidedly more risky than wielding a whip, which is why pro subs make more than your average dominatrix. Kelly explains that in L.A., dungeons often start women as subs who can work their way up to being doms. They may go through the motions, but for Kelly, it's all real. "Virtually any pro sub will do spanking, but if it's not their fetish, they're not gonna have the kind of response that turns a fellow fetishist on. Spanking pushes an instant arousal button in me. That's not common in the professional s/m scene." Mayo praises such dedication. "I've seen pro subs come out of sessions glowing like they've just spent a week on an island vacation with a fantasy lover. Others emerge needing to curl up and be held because they exposed so much raw emotion. They have to do it because they love it, or it will quickly go sour."

Novice clients, be forewarned: Cash alone will not buy your way to smacking Kelly's ass. This proud "spanking fetishist, selective and submissively responsive bottom, and excitable pervert" (according to her website) insists that although she enjoys herself immensely during sessions, she's no one's plaything or naughty little girl. Don't call her and expect instant obedience; you not only have to pay for that, you have to earn it. "Clients have to respect me as an equal person. I get to say how hard things will get, I get to say what I need," she explains. "Guys will call up and while I'm trying to interview them as a potential client, ask, 'Are you kneeling?' It's embarrassing for the guy." Her advice? "Never assume anything about a woman you approach for a pro session�we're all different. Some subs won't take off their G-strings but will let you cane the shit out of them. There are women like me who'll get naked and jerk off in front of you, but you better not start caning the hell out of me unless it's my idea."

What exactly does one get for Kelly's highest fees? One guy flew her to Detroit, and for $3,000 got to pierce the tips of her nipples twice, which she deems "excruciating but fun," then caned her for 50 strokes with no warm-up. Another well-off client will inject her labia with lidocaine (a local anesthetic derived from cocaine), then pierce her pussy or use suturing needles to sew her lips shut. They spend their downtime talking and ordering room service.

My burning question is, which city's kinkier�L.A. or NYC? It may be silly, but I'm pleased when Kelly says it's New York. "In L.A., guys who frequent pro subs want somebody who looks like a stripper they can tie up, tickle, and lightly spank. They want more of a sexy experience with a 'hot chick,' whereas New Yorkers want a real fucking pervert�God bless 'em."

Tomatoes Can Be Torture, Part 1

Tomatoes Can Be Torture, Part 1
In the first of a three-part series, meet a couple who eroticizes humiliation
by Tristan Taormino
Villiage Voice

The first time I met Phantom and Femcar (not their real names), I was in the audience of their class at a BDSM event. I've been to hundreds of kinky classes around the country, on topics ranging from predicament bondage to master-slave relationships. People gravitate toward the topics that interest them, but I think that it's also important to check out those classes you think you won't enjoy or won't learn from. This was one of those classes. It was called Erotic Humiliation.

Humiliation is a form of s/m play for some people; as part of the dominant-submissive dynamic, a submissive wants to be embarrassed, degraded, or even verbally abused. I know a woman who likes to be called a bitch, a whore, and a filthy slut as people do nasty things to her. Hell, I like that too, in the right situation. I've met a guy who wants to be led around a party on a leash while wearing a diaper. Humiliation, I get it.

I went to Erotic Humiliation with an open mind, but I can't say I had no expectations. Months earlier at another event, I heard a woman recount her experience at the same class and it sounded, well, a little outrageous. There was something about a kiddie pool and a tarp, pissing, messy food, and some disclaimer in the program that said no latecomers were allowed. I was disturbed and confused by her description of the scene, but also intrigued. I showed up to the class prepared to sit up front and determined to really listen, really watch, even if something freaked me out.

When Phantom and Femcar stepped to the front of the room, my first impression was, this cannot be the couple I've heard so much about. Phantom was a stocky, sandy-haired fellow with a warm smile that said "I give good hugs." Femcar was a tiny woman with long straight hair and pale skin with freckles. Not only did they look normal, it turns out they were: As they began to tell their story, I learned that they have been together for more than 21 years (married for 16), have several children, and live in the suburbs. She started surfing the Web, stumbled on BDSM sites and chat rooms, and got hooked. The stuff really turned her on, and she wanted to try it in the real world. She went to him and said, "I really want to do this. No, I need to do this."

He agreed to try it out. Femcar quickly discovered that she wasn't into the pretend power play of "Surrender your will to me, slave! (Wink, wink, I really respect you, your body, and your limits.)" She wanted to go way past all that. She wanted to be degraded, used, objectified, and humiliated. She admits she has a huge ego, and she wanted to see what it would be like to strip that ego away, to chip away at the layers and uncover what was underneath. She needed to let her beast out�the being inside her that is driven only by instinct and desire, with no manners, pretensions, or facades. The only way for her to tap into that part of her was to be treated as if she were less than a human being�useless, worthless. She relayed all this complicated, intense, deeply personal stuff to the audience in a quiet yet strong and articulate voice. Phantom was honest about his initial hesitation to do what she wanted ("How can I degrade the mother of my kids?"). But then an interesting thing happened: he tapped into a deep, dark place within himself that he didn't know existed. He met his inner sadist, a bad guy lurking in his psyche. That guy was dark, depraved, and, surprising them both, ready to do battle with her beast. I was struck by how clear she was about what she craved and where it took her.

They fielded some questions; then the mood shifted and the demonstration part began.

Phantom turned to Femcar and grabbed her by her hair, dragged her over to a wood frame and tied her to it. He pushed her around and pulled at her clothes, stripping them from her small frame. It was not light roughhousing, but more like a 190-pound guy showing a 100-pound woman how he could do serious damage to her. That image alone was unsettling. Femcar started to get small. The bright, bold woman who stood before us moments ago was shrinking before our eyes. Her posture changed; she became limp. He brought out an enema bag and proceeded to give her an enema. I was beginning to see where the kiddie pool and the tarp would come in handy. Then he stepped about 10 feet back from the frame, to a table which had a variety of items laid out on it, mostly canned food with the tops already opened.

He dug his hand into one can and came out with a handful of what looked like stewed tomatoes. Then he threw it at her. And I don't mean he tossed it like a softball to a kid, I mean he hurled the tomatoes at her and they hit her right in the face. Then came more tomatoes, canned corn, barbecue sauce, sometimes he'd go up close and just smear the stuff all over her. He invited audience members to join him. Several men got up and started flinging food at her. She was tied up, so it was impossible for her to duck or move out of the way. Somewhere in the middle of this, the enema took effect. He told her to just shit it out right there in front of everyone.

OK, I thought, these two are serious. Then he started peeing on her and once again, invited others to do the same. All I could think was, who are these guys? Their behavior just disturbed me. None of them seemed ambivalent, they just stepped right up, whipped out their dicks, and started calling her names. It's like someone gave them permission to be brutes and they went for it.

By then, Femcar was covered in food and piss, wallowing in the purple plastic pool. She started to moan and the noises coming from her were like nothing I have ever heard before: deep, guttural, weird. She sounded like an animal. The sounds built, her body started to tense, and I thought she was having an orgasm. It was raw and profound. Watching it unfold, I almost felt like I was intruding.

Tomatoes Can Be Torture, Part 2

Tomatoes Can Be Torture, Part 2
In the second of a three-part series, a submissive asks for more
by Tristan Taormino

At the end of part 1, Femcar was wallowing and coming in a kiddie pool during a demonstration in her class called "Erotic Humiliation." I found out later that the men who had stepped up to throw tomatoes at her and use her as a public urinal�the ones whose willingness to degrade her I questioned�actually knew her and most had played with her before. So it wasn't exactly the free-for-all it looked like. Still, it was a lot to take in. In their class, Phantom and Femcar talked about how their public play was received within the BDSM community. Although the community encourages everyone to embrace their kinkiness, even sex radicals have their limits.

Our tenets are "safe, sane, and consensual," and for many people, Phantom and Femcar's play had trouble qualifying. Hearing them speak assured me that they were relatively safe, since Femcar can be coated in people's bodily fluids, but none penetrate any of her orifices. The pair were obviously sane, as well as highly self-aware, introspective, and articulate about why they do what they do. While their scenes might appear to cross lines of propriety and go beyond what is considered "edge play," they were absolutely consensual. In fact, the architect of their most extreme scenes, down to every last degrading detail, was always Femcar. Hearing them speak, I had a sense of who they were, and I never worried that Femcar was in real danger or being coerced into something she didn't want to do. But I could see how watchers in a dungeon at a party, without the benefit of any introduction, might look twice.

During their class I found myself thinking, wouldn't it be even more humiliating if, when Phantom invited people to join in, no one did? What if folks responded by saying she wasn't worth their time? Or started to leave, announcing, "There has got to be a better presenter teaching at this hour"? Being ignored is pretty humiliating. It scared me that I had such a sadistic thought, and it came to me so easily. But I liked the idea of taking away the one thing that Femcar clearly loved: an audience.

She wants her ego bashing to be witnessed, and she craves attention, even so-called negative attention. But she also really likes to engage others, more so than anyone else I've seen. And she does it with a democratic, nonjudgmental spirit most of us just cannot imagine or achieve. "People in the BDSM scene love to role-play with power, like when a submissive claims she is 'less than' her dominant, lower on the food chain," she told me. "But then that same person will turn her nose up at certain people. What if you really behaved as if you were no better than anyone else?" Femcar takes her role as object quite literally, and objects can't choose who uses them. When she gets used, except for assuring a level of safety and trust, she gets used by anyone and everyone. This part of her fascinates me and challenges me to look at the ways most of us judge each other and perpetuate social hierarchies and high school�esque cliques, even in a progressive environment like the BDSM community.

I got the nerve to talk to the two of them many months after seeing that first class, and I knew I wanted to play with Femcar. I was simultaneously drawn to and terrified of her. What attracted me was her boundless energy and fearlessness. What was intimidating was how clear she was about her desires. She had done so much heavy play and she was so smart that I would really have to step up my game. She was the ultimate challenge for a creative top. I wasn't sure I could find it in myself to be as rough, cruel, and unrelenting as she wanted. Her talk of letting her beast out had really resonated with me, but was I ready to let my beast out?

Our first scene was at an event where I was teaching, and it was not planned. One evening I did an anal-fisting demo she said she would come to but didn't. After it ended and the crowd left, I was cleaning up as a few people lingered. She wandered in. I knew that with all she had done, no one had ever anally fisted her. She mentioned more than once that she wanted to try it. At first, I wasn't sure. Anal fisting is a slow, sensual, spiritual experience for me. I have never done it with the aggression or attitude I know she likes.

I had covered the massage table I did the fisting on, and the paper drapes I used, now sticky with lube, were tossed on the cement floor. I told her to get on her hands and knees on the used drapes, amid the filth where she belonged. No cushioned comfort for her. I'd washed all the butt plugs I used on my demo-ee and put them in a pile on some paper towels. I picked one up and shoved it in her mouth, telling her that it had just been in someone else's ass. I put on a latex glove and lubed it up, telling her, of course, that I wouldn't be using any lube because she didn't deserve any. When I slipped the first finger in, she pushed back on it, hungry for more. But I had to balance warming her ass up (the responsible me) with taking her however I wanted (the sadistic me). I added a finger each time she begged me to, all the while saying nasty things to her. When I slipped the widest part of my hand past her sphincter muscles, she squealed, and I kept fucking her. She had one of her enormous orgasms, and as soon as she did, I gently pulled my hand out of her, ripped off the used glove and tossed it on her. Then I left her lying there.

Of course, I went right outside the building and spied through a window. She writhed around for a bit, then a friend of hers who'd been watching came up and asked her if she wanted help or anything. He took a bunch of the garbage scattered around her and threw it out. I wanted to rush back in�check in with her, give her aftercare�but I remember her saying, "If you totally use me, then five minutes later you're sweet to me, it ruins it." So I waited about half an hour. Then I went back in.

To be continued.

The Best and Worst of Sex 2005

The Best and Worst of Sex 2005
Tristan's annual roundup of 12 months of foot fetishes, male prostitutes, and porn-bashing
by Tristan Taormino


Best Christmas Porn: I'm not one for cheesy holiday-inspired erotica, but Tassy and Halcyon of pinkgasm.com interpret the yuletide spirit for themselves. The self-described sexual superheroes shot a pictorial in which buxom Tassy wore reindeer antlers, Halcyon donned a pink-and-white Santa hat, and a blowjob and other merriment ensued. (Free preview at pinkgasm.citizensex.com; to see it all you must be a member.)

Worst Legal Ruling: In the case of United States v. Extreme Associates, three judges of the Third U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the January 2005 ruling of a District Court judge, reinstating all charges against Extreme Associates and pornographers Rob Black and Lizzy Borden. At issue in this case�the first federal obscenity prosecution in over a decade�is whether Extreme distributed obscene materials through the mail and on the Internet, including now infamous titles like Forced Entry, Cocktails 2, Extreme Teen 24, and Ass Clowns 3.

Craziest Television Show of the Year: Nip/Tuck doesn't just push the envelope when it comes to exploring gender and sexuality. It tears it up, tapes it back together, and sets it on fire. With new bisexual surgeon Quentin Costa, face cream made of semen, transgender characters, sex addicts, erotic humiliation scenes, three-ways, doctor- patient sex, incestuous lust, and a gruesome, disturbing season finale that combined all of it . . . well, haven't I said enough?

Best Lesbian Sex Gossip: British tabloid The Sun reported that Angelina Jolie and Asian butch model Jenny Shimizu, admitted exes, still have an ongoing casual sexual relationship. Shimizu appeared on On Q Live to set the record, um, straight, yet managed to fuel continued speculation.

Strangest Girlie Calendar: Scantily clad women with smokin' bods in provocative poses? One for every month of the year? Check. The girls in the Cofanifunebri Sexy Coffins Calendar pose with the company's main product: coffins (cofanifunebri.it/2005-calendar.htm). It's not a goth thing.

Worst Use of Taxpayer Dollars: Republican senator Sam Brownback convened three different hearings of Senate subcommittees on the dangers of porn, including one called "Why the Government Should Care About Pornography: The State Interest in Protecting Children and Families." These incredibly biased hearings were full of anti-porn panelists; requests to speak from free-speech advocates were denied. Brownback wants to show that adult entertainment is damaging to society. At one such hearing, Brigham Young University sociologist Jill Manning testified that porn causes people to masturbate, which stimulates a specific kind of brain activity that could lead to a loss of judgment. She also claimed that porn increases the risk of divorce, decreases intimacy, and creates misconceptions about group sex, bestiality, and sadomasochistic activity.

Hottest Pregnant Supermodel: While plenty of celebrities got knocked up this year, Project Runway host Heidi Klum was the sexiest, most fashionable, and most fuckable mama-to-be. On the red carpet wearing Donna Karan, or butt-naked in the pages of
Vitals Woman, Klum must have driven sales of preggo porn through the roof.

Best Revenge of Online Daters: In 2005 both match.com and Yahoo Personals faced federal fraud lawsuits filed by dissatisfied online daters. In the match.com suit, a subscriber accused the company of sending one of its female employees on a date with him as "date bait." The plaintiff in the Yahoo case alleges that Yahoo created fake profiles and sent fake matches to him to persuade him to be a paying member. Both cases are seeking class action status and are still pending.

Oddest New Sex Blog: Flip Flop Erotic (flipfloperotic.blogspot.com) is a homoerotic blog dedicated to "men and their feet in flip flops or sandals." It features fashion ad campaigns, candid photos, toe hair close-ups, and entries all about men's feet as well as heady features like "History of the Modern Sandal in Asia."

Best New Video Game Prototype: Designer Heather Kelly (moboid.com) developed Lapis, a video game she calls "a stealthy primer on female sexual pleasure," which won the Sex in Games Design Challenge at the Montreal Game Summit. The game revolves around bunny-esque creatures. Says Kelly, "The creatures are analogous to female erogenous zones, and by making them happy�petting them on the ears, tickling them on the nose, putting them in a good environment, singing to them, etc., you can fly through gorgeous fantasy environments and take each creature to its 'happy place.' "

Bonehead Award: Fundamentalists rallied to block the release of a vaccine for the human papillomavirus (HPV). As many as one in 10 people in the U.S. has HPV, and recently, scientists proved that it's responsible for at least 70 percent of cases of cervical cancer. "Giving the HPV vaccine to young women could be harmful because they may see it as a license to engage in premarital sex," said Bridget Maher of the Family Research Council. Her logic astounds me.

Best New Museum: Naomi Wilzig opened the World Erotic Art Museum in Miami Beach. The Jewish grandmother, who'd been writing about and collecting erotic art for 15 years, decided to showcase her 4,000 pieces, which include centuries-old Japanese "pillow books," ancient fertility figures from Africa and Indonesia, and the giant phallus sculpture from A Clockwork Orange, as well as erotic paintings from around the world.

Best News for Unemployed Chippendales Dancers: Heidi Fleiss has filed for a brothel license in Nevada to open a whorehouse called Heidi's Stud Farm that will cater exclusively to women. If the Nye County Liquor and Licensing Board grants her a license, it will be the first place of its kind in America. HBO plans for Doghouse, a reality show about it, will surely follow.

The Reverse-Reverse Cowgirl Award (for Crossing From Hollywood Into Porn Instead of the Other Way Around): Saving Private Ryan star and convicted Heidi Fleiss abuser Tom Sizemore became the latest celebrity to star in homemade porn. They could have called it Saving Ryan's Privates, but that title was already taken. So The Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal would have to do.

Private Dick

Private Dick
A sexual exhibitionist walks out of the spotlight
by Tristan Taormino

In September, two students at the University of Pennsylvania were having sex against a dorm room window without a shade. Apparently, several people took photos of the couple, and the images were circulated via e-mail and on various websites. A student who snapped a shot and posted it on his personal site was charged with several violations by the Office of Student Conduct. One charge was sexual harassment, based on a complaint from the female student (who believed she could be identified) that posting the image created a hostile environment for her. Debates raged in the student newspaper and online forums: Why was the photographer being charged with sexual harassment but the couple was not being charged with public lewdness? What about the shutterbug's right to free speech? If the two were putting on a show, how could they expect privacy? From the photos I've seen, it doesn't look like a case of a Peeping Tom with a telephoto lens. Pictures were taken in broad daylight, and although the couple was in a high-rise building, one look up let you see a whole lot. One person posted this comment on the Daily Pennsylvanian website: "You don't smash your buttocks up against a window unless you're looking for attention." I'll agree: The twosome wanted to be watched or wanted the possibility of being watched to exist. However, being an exhibitionist and having your exhibitionism photographed and published are two very different things.


I can't remember the first time I had public sex. I am not counting the times I had sex in a semi-public or public place where I could have been watched but wasn't�like in a car, at the beach, or in a park. I am talking about having sex in public to be seen. Was it when I went to a sex club in Florida during a leather conference? It might have been the night that I hooked up with a well-known sexpert couple at a sex party in Boston. As I recall, she fucked me on a couch, then I fisted her partner. It was the first time I used the female condom for anal penetration�and I remember thinking it was ironic that I was trying it out in a guy. Maybe it was at the porn-star orgy I was invited to, where I was one of only three non-porn people (they called us "civilians"). I got to fuck a performer briefly until his girlfriend�who was doing someone else�kind of flipped out. I did hook up with a retired porn star who put almost her entire fist in my ass. Wow, the mid '90s are already a blur.

I used to be an exhibitionist. I go-go danced at dyke bars, where women stuck folded bills in my G-string. I had my pussy shaved onstage by a stranger as part of a performance. At a storytelling event, someone (another stranger) put a butt plug in my ass as I read my erotic story. I got pierced, poked, and paddled at kinky parties. I fucked my entire cast in the final scene of the first porn video I directed. I preferred to indulge my love of the spotlight while naked. I loved to fuck and be fucked while people looked on.

Maybe it's just a phase, but lately I'm not so gung ho to have sex in public. I still put things in people's orifices in front of a roomful of others�which I know looks a lot like sex�but I don't count that because it really is an educational thing. I mean wrists-and-ankles-strapped-to-a-bondage-table-while-hot-wax-is-dripped-on-my-tits public sex. Or face down, ass in the air, on a bed in a room with no door. Or lubed glove dripping as I lean over some hot number, her legs spread wide as she seemingly floats mid-air in a sling.

Thankfully, I still have plenty of opportunities to have public sex. But seeing a 10,000-square-foot dungeon and 200 pairs of eyes doesn't do it for me like it used to. Public sex was exciting and validating, and it fed something in me that's no longer hungry. In the past, one of the thrills of public sex, especially at parties, was that I felt free to do whatever the fuck I wanted to. Whether in a corner or center stage, I was just another girl with tattoos and high heels getting off; I felt free. One of the last times I had anonymous sex in public, I found the entire encounter written up in my playmate's blog, which wouldn't have been so disturbing if she hadn't used my full name without my permission. That felt icky.

These days, when I pick up a cane or slip off my panties in a public place, I feel an enormous weight on my shoulders. Like there are these expectations of me, as a sexpert, to give people a great show and to rock the world of whomever I am playing with. That kind of pressure, whether real or imagined, just kills my libido. Part of fucking in public is a performance, and for whatever reasons, I'm not in the mood to perform. That part of it distracts me and gets me out of the zone I need to be in. Right now, I want to go places in my sexual life that I am not ready to share with an audience. Some of those places are dark; others are goofy, tender, and complicated. I'm hesitant to do the things I want to in public because I feel too vulnerable.

Last week, the University of Pennsylvania Office of Student Conduct dropped all charges against the photographer who caught a moment of young lust and exhibitionism. According to several reports, the couple, especially the woman, is embarrassed and humiliated�which is really the opposite of how it could have gone down if the looking was fleeting rather than captured digitally. Some of the best public sex I've witnessed is when the opposite emotions are evident, and the woman feels incredibly empowered. When I watch a woman shed her inhibitions and bare herself for all to see, sometimes I envy her�she can embrace and even sexualize her erotic vulnerability. Or perhaps she doesn't feel vulnerable at all�she just likes to show off.

Bondage: Whip it Good

Bondage: Whip it Good
Our reporter braves the Fetish Revolution -- whips and chains included.
by Zachary Richter 2006

Entering The Sets on Feb. 11, was like entering a different world. A world filled with women wrapped in skin-tight leather and businessmen in perfect business attire -- sans pants. A world where pain and pleasure are one and you can buy a real spear for just $25.

This is the world of Fetish Revolution 6: A Night at the Fetish Spa. Approximately 600 people attended this event featuring performances such as erotic fire dancing, and demonstrations of numerous different fetishes ---- think lots of ropes and whips.

Besides performances, Fetish Revolution 6 featured vendors for every fetish imaginable. Knives and swords, sold as toys not weapons, were for sale as was a large variety of bondage furniture. Many guests also tried out or purchased whips and ridding crops.

The Ball also featured a spa area where thrill-seeking fetishists were bound by ropes, given erotic massages, and beaten by their leather-clad peers.

Fetish Ball organizer Mark Palmer says that these events help people get to know one another.

"Part of this is networking," Palmer says. "We are trying to build a [fetish] community."

As I walked around The Sets, I couldn't help but think that Palmer had already succeeded. All around me people were shouting "hellos" and exchanging hugs. To me it seemed that these people were already part of one big kinky family.

Not everyone in attendance was an old hand at the fetish lifestyle. I walked into the spa area to find novice Bill Mason whipping a spa worker. I talked to him after the experience and he was pleased with what he had done.

"I've never whipped anyone before," says Mason. "This is my first Fetish Ball and I am having a great time."

Practically everywhere I looked people were getting their kink on with whips. Bending over chairs, standing near the vendor stalls and strapped into various types of bondage furniture, men and women both eagerly awaited the caress of the whip.

I was curious how anyone could enjoy being whipped, so I placed myself in spa worker Michelle McLeskey's hands. She lead me by my press pass to an empty chair sat me down and blindfolded me.

"Sensory deprivation increases the other senses," says McLeskey, straddling my lap.

My sense of touch was certainly increased and I felt McLeskey shift her weight as she began to rub the whip handle across my legs.

"Tickling an area increases its sensitivity," McLeskey says as she brings the handle down with a dull thud against my thigh.

Before I have time to think about the pain, the whip handle slowly moved up my body and suddenly I couldn't breathe. Apparently choking is popular with some people as well.

While I didn't enjoy the pain, the overall experience was interesting. I could feel the heat of McLeskey's body, and could smell a mix of sweat and perfume as I waited to see what would happen next.

After more mild beating, the blindfold was removed and I was released with a kiss on the cheek. The room came back into focus, a cacophony of light and sound after the sensory deprivation I had just experienced.

Even if pain isn't your idea of a good time, it is hard to ignore the intense rush that being in a sadomasochistic situation creates.

Having now experienced a taste of the fetish lifestyle firsthand, I wondered how people incorporate it in their everyday lives. Jason Connell, a prominent member of the fetish community, told me that he has whips hanging on the walls in his bedroom.

"But I don't flaunt it," Connell says. "There are times when it is appropriate and times when it's not. I don't walk my wife around in a choker in front of her parents."

Reach the reporter at zachary.richter@asu.edu.

My Obsenity or Yours ~ MICHELLE MANN

My Obsenity or Yours ......
MICHELLE MANN
CBC News

A recent decision by the Supreme Court of Canada not to hear a major pornography case indicates that while freedom of expression in the straight community is alive and kicking, it may be open season on women.

In refusing to hear the Crown's appeal in R. v. Donald Smith, the highest court allowed an Ontario appeal court decision to stand. That court had said that the combination of nudity and violence is not sufficiently sexualized to constitute obscenity under the Criminal Code.

The fake snuff videos contained on Smith's site included explicit representations of nude women with arrows and knives piercing their bodies, among other visual and written materials depicting violence against women.

In order for adult material to be considered obscene under the law it must unduly exploit sex and violence, be degrading and dehumanizing and present a risk of harm to the community that exceeds its tolerance.

At the trial level, experts testified that mass media images of violence against women could lead to a greater possibility of male violence against women, public desensitization to violence against women, and greater acceptance of myths about violence against women.

No disrespect intended to the experts or judge involved, but those conclusions aren't exactly rocket science. Any number of women could have told them that, including myself, and I am sure, friends and family of Ottawa lawyer Patricia Allen, killed in the street by her ex-husband's crossbow back in 1991.

And lest we had any doubts about the degradation Smith endeavoured to deliver, he alleviated them with the meta tags attached to his site to draw searchers in. Keywords included snuff films, fetish, fantasy, gunshot wounds, belly fetish, shooting fetish, dead women, necro fantasy, necro fetish, and bullets and babes.

Not much room for interpretation there.

And the trial jury, a community of his peers, agreed. They found Smith guilty of creating and distributing obscene material over the Internet. Accordingly, he was handed a precedent-setting sentence, including a $100,000 fine.

The Court of Appeal reversed that decision and since the Supreme Court won't be hearing the case, Smith is free other than a minor conviction and $200.00 fine.

When this case arose back in 2000, the Ontario Provincial Police considered laying hate-crime charges against Smith and his collaborating wife, but realized that hate laws in Canada do not include gender as a category.

Identifiable groups against which hate crimes are committed are defined as any section of the public distinguished by colour, race, religion, ethnic origin or sexual orientation.

I recall when Svend Robinson, in a rare success for a private members bill, brought about the addition of sexual orientation. I supported that move then, as I do now.

But have we been asleep at the wheel to overlook the glaring absence of sex?

Has it been omitted because it was thought unnecessary or for the very opposite reason, that it might lead to countless charges against pornographers like Smith?

With respect to the obscenity charges we might also question whose community standards of tolerable harm were applied. It certainly wasn't the feminist community.

If a patriarchal community is simply more tolerant of the risk of harm towards women than it should be, do our judges not have an obligation to take this into consideration?

The Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination against Women, under which Canada has committed to eradicating discrimination and violence against women, would seem to indicate that they do.

As noted by Crown attorney Leibovich at trial, "you can do something about violence against women."

Interestingly, despite the ivory tower findings of the court of appeal, Smith received a clear indication that he exceeded his community's tolerable level of harm. A supporter's website indicates that he and his family were compelled to move, due to treatment received in his town, "which has far too many churches."

The community has spoken, though it may have fallen on deaf judicial ears.

It should go without saying that society must exercise extreme caution in censorship. But like all Charter protected rights, freedom of expression engages a balancing act with other rights, including gender equality.

We also have to be aware of who exercises censorship powers, since there is no guarantee they won't be applied in a discriminatory fashion.

Enter Little Sisters Book and Art Emporium, headed to the Supreme Court of Canada in April yet again. Since 1986, Customs Canada has been detaining materials headed for Little Sisters, a community centre for Vancouver's gay and lesbian population.

In 2000, that court came down hard on Canada Customs, finding that Customs' overzealous application of the law allowing them to seize materials discriminated against gays and lesbians.
Deaf ears on behalf of Canada Customs this time, as Little Sisters heads back to the highest court once more, over four book titles prohibited from importation.

Art of the Teese

Art of the Teese
03/2006
Telegraph Group Limited


Dita von Teese, burlesque artist, retro pin-up and now the wife of Marilyn Manson, has risen from lingerie salesgirl to entertainer of choice at all the best parties. Between wedding and honeymoon, she found time to pose for a series of exclusive drawings by David Downton. Interview by Naomi West


Back when Dita von Teese was approaching her 18th birthday she knew exactly what she wanted to do when she passed that milestone. ‘As soon as I was of legal age I wanted to take my clothes off and be photographed recreating old pin-ups.’


Von Teese – still known then by her birth name, Heather Sweet, and working in a lingerie shop where she had held a position since the age of 15 – arranged a shoot with a photographer who had taken pictures of her older sister for Penthouse, and posed in just a pink and black corset. She gave the pictures to her then-boyfriend for his birthday.

A decade and a half later, the 33-year-old’s enthusiasm for channelling the spirit of the original pin-ups and burlesque performers such as Gypsy Rose Lee, Lili St Cyr and Sally Rand has won her international acclaim. Last year Vanity Fair called her a ‘burlesque superheroine’ for the striptease spectacles she stages at parties and in clubs (bathing in a giant martini glass with an olive-shaped sponge, or emerging from an outsize powder compact in pointe shoes and a marabou tutu).

She has ascended to become an adored insider in the world of high fashion. Jean Paul Gaultier offered her a kid-in-a-candy-store moment last year by inviting her into his couture archive. ‘There were gowns they don’t even let out to the Academy Awards, and Mr Gaultier said, “If you want to wear this stuff to the grocery store, feel free.” ’

Vivienne Westwood, who made the purple silk taffeta wedding gown for her December nuptials to the theatrically dark rock star Marilyn Manson, has described her as ‘mind-boggling, with the smallest waist, like a drawing from a fairytale, like Snow White.’

Von Teese and Manson first met at a Santa Monica vintage-clothing fair in 1999 and, fittingly, their wedding is featured in the current issue of American Vogue. Now that the spotlight has swivelled its full glare upon von Teese, she is making the most of it. She and Manson have not taken a honeymoon yet.

After their wedding, they flew to London to be photographed in a circus-themed shoot for the relaunch issue of Harper’s Bazaar, and she is busy promoting her new book, Burlesque and the Art of the Teese, stacked with lavish photos. ‘It’s not anything deep, just a fun book with great pictures. I dust off some characters in burlesque history, and tell my own story.’


Save for the frequent hopping on and off planes, she seems to have found her particular form of domestic bliss in Chatsworth, a quiet suburb of Los Angeles, with her husband, four cats (Lily, Hermann, Aleister and Edgar) and two cars, a 1939 Chrysler, ‘the big gangster kind with the suicide doors’, and a 1965 Jaguar S type, ‘the pretty one with the grill’.

Their home also contains some of her memorabilia – one of Betty Grable’s corsets, letters from Gypsy Rose Lee, and a ‘memento that Sally Rand used to sell at her shows in 1938 – a handknit penis and ball cover. Pretty racy, huh?’

On meeting Von Teese in her red-velvet-lined dressing-room at London’s Café de Paris the afternoon before a show, her soft voice and doll-like form might at first lead one to assume that she would not say boo to a goose, but it is evident that this is not the case. She says of working with Vivienne Westwood, ‘We didn’t agree at first. I was really specific on how I wanted the dress to look so I had to be really firm.’

Von Teese sees herself as a ‘real no-nonsense business woman. I learnt a lot reading about Bettie Page and how she had no money in the end because she didn’t own any of her images.’ In her early twenties, when she was starting to make her name as a model on the fetish scene, she recalls, ‘I worked in a store selling cosmetics and danced in a strip club, as well as fetish modelling. I was doing all this at once so I never felt a slave to being a model. I would shoot what I wanted to shoot, and get paid what I wanted to get paid.’

She also set up a website of her pictures in 1992, ‘back when you could only have one picture on a page’. (Now the site has more than 15,000 images of her, which members can access, and merchandise for sale, including her used stockings.) Having worked her way up to headlining shows all over the US, her breakthrough came in 2002 when she made the cover of Playboy.

It even validated her in the eyes of her manicurist mother and machinist father who brought her up in Michigan and Orange County, California. ‘There were times my parents weren’t so sure about what I was doing, what this bondage modelling was all about. When I was on the cover of Playboy my father suddenly had much more respect for what I did.’

She may look like one of Hollywood’s most high-maintenance women, with her glossy red nails filed to points and their half-moons left unpainted, but she declares herself ‘a real do-it-yourselfer’ – her glossy blue-black hair is coloured from its natural blonde with Revlon 10-minute dye. ‘I always do my own make-up for my shows too. The one time I hired a stylist, they picked up a pair of my 1940s shoes and said, these would look really cute with jeans. I immediately said, you’re out of here.’

# ‘Burlesque and the Art of the Teese’ by Dita von Teese (HarperCollins) is available for £14.99 plus £1.25 p&p from Telegraph Books (0870-428 4112)

Seminar sheds light on BDSM ~ By Aliza Simons

Seminar sheds light on BDSM
The Wesleyan Argus
By Aliza Simons
Staff Writer


Lola Pellegrino '08 is not the poster girl of BDSM.

But she did facilitate a discussion on Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) at WesWell's Sexual Health Expo on Saturday. Led by Pellegrino, the BDSM Q&A consisted of an hour of open dialogue among a dozen Wesleyan students with varied experiences. Students also had the opportunity to take BDSM books and zines.

Pellegrino maintains that she is "not an authority" on BDSM, though she worked as a secretary for a group of dominatrices last summer.

During the discussion, Pellegrino emphasized concepts taught to her by the dominatrices she worked with, such as the importance of consent of all partners during any kind of BDSM.

"I used to just smack guys I was making out with," Pellegrino said. "[Without] asking first."

When Pellegrino told this to the dominatrices she worked with, they were appalled that she would smack her partners without their consent.

"They were all like, you can't smack, you have to ask first!" Pellegrino said.

Pellegrino supported following informed consent and safety outlined by the SSC, Safe, Sane, and Consensual.

Legal consent can also prove to be an issue during BDSM. One dominatrix Pellegrino talked to began using insurance forms with her clients after an incident involving a cattle prod. According to Pellegrino, the dominatrix was with a client who enjoyed cattle prods and brought one to use. However, when the dominatrix used the prod on him, the client lost consciousness and she thought he was dead. Though the client regained consciousness, the dominatrix now insists that her clients sign insurance wavers.

In addition to advocating consent, Pellegrino advised only practicing BDSM with a person you both trust and can communicate with.

"Don't do BDSM with someone you don't feel comfortable crying in front of," she said.

Pellegrino also recommended using caution, especially when engaging in strangulation. According to Pellegrino, to ensure safety, you should never strangle a partner with anything around the whole neck. Holding only one side of the neck when choking is better.

The seminar was among the most anticipated at the Expo, and while it may have garnered attention because of its taboo nature, it actually intended to dispel myths about BDSM.

"Some alternative sexualities and lifestyles have a more prominent public sphere that require more attention or openness," said a freshman attendee, who requested anonymity. "In addition to simply acknowledging that these acts happen and are not inherently wrong, having something like a workshop where people can understand how to engage in such acts without being detrimental to oneself or others is really all the involvement that seems necessary."

Experienced attendees agreed that at the root of BDSM practices is a profound consideration of one's partner.

"Things are also not at all how they seem," the freshman said. "Any subordination is illusory and part of an elaborate dance designed to allow people to explore various aspects of human experience, emotionally and physically."

While Pellegrino enjoys answering questions about her own experiences, she has had issues with the Wesleyan community's acceptance of BDSM. On the first day of Gender, Science and Sexuality, a class Pellegrino is currently enrolled in, she told the class that she had worked as a secretary for dominatrices, and was interested in the cathartic properties of sex. Afterwards, the incorrect information that Pellegrino herself was a dominatrix circulated campus.

"It came back to me five different ways," Pellegrino said. "My friends [would tell me] 'Some kid told me there's a dominatrix in [Gender, Science and Sexuality]' and I'd be like, 'Yeah, that's me.'"

Despite unfounded rumors, Pellegrino continues to promote openness regarding BDSM. Students at the discussion group appreciated Pellegrino's level of sincerity with the subject.

"She's definitely very comfortable with herself just [in] the way she answered questions and her tone," said Valerie Walunis '09. "It wasn't oppressive at all to be there."

Pellegrino attributes this quality with her lack of embarrassment.

"I just have no shame," she said.

Even being labeled as a BDSM poster girl doesn't faze Pellegrino.

"I think who I am could get drawn into some sort of bizarre whip and leather stereotype that has nothing to do with me," she said. "If I do have [the label], I don't mind it in primacy, with people coming up and talking to me and us sharing ideas or giving each other advice."

The workshop was divided into two groups of "people from different backgrounds of kink," those who incorporate BDSM into their sex lives and those who have never tried it. The variety of experience allowed for a group discussion of inquiries and ideas among all who attended.

"It turned out completely different [from expected] but the completely different was better," Pellegrino said. "Luckily, everyone talked because I was afraid I was going to talk for an hour."

Sam & Frodo get it on ~ by Nancy Kaffer March

Sam & Frodo get it on
Kinky adventures for some familiar characters
by Nancy Kaffer
Detroit Metro Times


Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there were two hobbits named Frodo and Sam. They had a very serious mission — destroy a magical ring that could end the world. But along the way, they fell in love.

Frodo was beguiled by Sam's strength and loyalty, not to mention the way his muscles flexed when he bent over to pick up something really, really heavy. One thing led to another, and soon enough, the two hobbits were going at it day and night.

Wait, that's not exactly how Tolkien wrote it. ...

Slash fiction is a subculture within a subculture. It's a niche in the world of "fan fiction," stories written by fans about characters in a book, movie, TV show, the music business — just about any element of popular culture you can imagine.

Slash fic is pretty much the same thing — but the writers are almost exclusively women and the focus is on homosexual relationships, subtle or overt, between male characters.

The name comes from the original slash about Star Trek. Authors would denote the pairing in their stories as "Kirk/Spock" or "Scotty/Sulu." In the early days (most folks say slash has been around since the '70s), fans swapped Xeroxed stories at sci-fi conventions.

But since the mid-'90s, slash has found a home on the Internet. Googling "Harry Potter slash" returns more than a million hits. A search for "N'Sync slash" gets about 70,000. And pretty much anything you can think of has been slashed — there's Buffy the Vampire Slayer slash, X-Files, A-Team, CSI, and even Shakespeare and Bible slash.

Slash fic, like any other genre, runs the gamut from poorly spelled, poorly plotted schoolgirl scribblings to fully realized epics worthy of publication. Characterization and style can be akin to the original source material or can merely use it as a point of departure. Likewise, the content varies from sweet romantic stories to hardcore, graphic sex that's sometimes nonconsensual.

Yahoo hosts about 2,600 discussion groups devoted to slash. Still, it's a pastime some people have a hard time understanding. It's also a time-consuming habit — the most popular stories have been written, edited, revised and rewritten with professional thoroughness.

Technically, slash fiction, like fan fic, is illegal. But many fic sites have disclaimers acknowledging copyright violations and claiming authors aren't profiting from the work. Most copyright-holders turn a blind eye to fan fiction, but slash has drawn criticism from big companies.

Some sites hosting Harry Potter slash fiction have received cease-and-desist letters from Scholastic Inc. — Harry's U.S. publisher — and Warner Bros., concerned that their young audience may stumble across a Harry/Draco BDSM story like this one while surfing the Web for other Potter links:



"They stood facing each other poised on the edge of something and then as one they moved towards each other. Their lips met and Harry felt the pain flow away. His arms snaked round the other boy and Draco deepened the kiss, his lithe frame moulding to Harry's as they embraced. It was not like the awkward, stolen kisses Harry had shared with either of his girlfriends of previous years, and he could feel the passion running through the boy in his arms. They remained locked together for a long time, exploring with their lips and tongues and only reluctantly did either break the kiss." —Gold-Tinted Spectacles by Beren



Slash fans differentiate between "canon" material — original source material — and "fanon," flights of fantasy created by fans. One author — who wishes to be known only as "W." — is a young publishing professional with a degree in gender studies from New York University. About maintaining the integrity of the original story, she says, "If it's not true to the character, then it sort of loses the point. Yes, you're stretching the true character and canon by 'gaying them up' in the first place, but you shouldn't completely throw away the base. A lot of times you can explore new things by adding the twist of gay."

That's part of what appealed to 27-year-old Leah Alconcel, an American living in London with a Ph.D. in chemistry and a yen for pretty boys licking each other.

She was first exposed to slash about three years ago, when an Internet friend asked her to proofread — or "beta," in slash parlance — a Harry Potter story she'd written. "She's a good writer, and especially with Harry Potter, her stories gave a depth to the characters — a sexual identity — that's completely missing from the canon work."

Alconcel is working on an original novel, but writes slash in her spare time.

"A lot of times, writing original stuff, or getting up the gumption to write it, is stressful and draining. Writing fan stuff is just fun. It feels like an indulgence."

But the craft is only part of the attraction — it's also pretty hot.

W. says, "Sure, you can have character exploration in slash fic, but the essential point is to get the characters together and banging for your own prurient interests. Or, at least, that's what I'm looking for when I read."

Clinton Township resident Tracy Boyer, 49, writes Knight Rider slash. She loves science fiction and sports cars, so the 1980s TV show about David Hasselhoff and K.I.T.T., his artificially intelligent hot rod, really piqued her interest.

For Boyer, the challenge of getting a man and a car to become "intimate" was part of the fun of writing Knight Rider slash.

Whether or not a slash relationship already exists in the subtext of the story is a question up for debate. Bloomfield Hills resident Kathryn O'Connor, 39, claims that old-school series like the original Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek didn't have much homoerotic subtext, but modern shows and movies are bursting with it — in the Lord of the Rings books, few characters seemed to exist below the waist, while the recent blockbuster film trilogy featured a few frolicsome hobbit pillow fights.

O'Connor's written Star Trek and X-Files slash, but her true love is Battlestar Galactica fic, which she's penned since the tender age of 12. Her interest in slash coincided with puberty.

"That's around the time I started learning about gay men." She recalls her first works were more romantic than sexual, and most were a niche of slash called "mpreg," short for male pregnancy. As a preteen, O'Connor says it was a logical equation: love equals marriage and babies, even if it's two men who are falling in love.

O'Connor says when she got online in the mid-'90s, she was relieved to learn she wasn't the only person who had dirty thoughts about boys and wrote dirty stories about getting it on. A lot of slash writers and fans are cagey about how much information they'll share with the world at large. Some, like W., are reluctant to connect their online identities with their professional or personal lives. Others, like Alconcel, don't have a problem admitting to a slash habit, but don't post everything they write in public forums.

Alconcel explains that a lot of times, how graphic a story is determines whether the writer is willing to post it publicly. "It's definitely the filthy butt sex factor that makes me want to post anonymously," she says.

Jessica Gothie, 35, is an avid consumer of slash fic. She says, with slash, "Suddenly it becomes possible to skip straight to the 'good bits' without going through all the boring exposition. You can skip right to the sex part. From a chick perspective, smut fan fic is the heroin of porn."

Nude photos online cause uproar.

http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_...f/20060908140709990008?ncid=NWS00010000000001

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